


1,001 Thedosian Nights

by FantasyBookwyrm



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Arabian Nights homage, F/M, Gen, Modern Girl in Thedas, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 112,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5243144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyBookwyrm/pseuds/FantasyBookwyrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A modern college student gets into a horrible accident and wakes up to find herself transformed into an elf in Thedas.  Unable to return home, she decides to feign ignorance about future events and try to change the fates of the characters she has grown to love.  She tries to sway hearts and minds with stories and songs, all the while trying to find a way home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Bad Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My very first fan-fic ever. Eep.

Blinking, I slowly regain consciousness.  _Where am I?  Am I on the floor?_ I try to rub my eyes, but my hands are restricted.   _Is that...am I shackled?  HOLY SHIT, MY HAND JUST GLOWED GREEN!!!_

A door slams open and two women stride into the room.  I suddenly notice I am surrounded by guards with... _swords_?  Before I can form any coherent thoughts, one of the women starts shouting at me.  "Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now.  The Conclave is destroyed.  Everyone who attended is dead.  Except for you."

"Wait, what?!?!?!" I manage to croak.  "I don't know what you're talking about!  Don't kill me!"

"Explain this," the woman growls, roughly grabbing my glowing (GLOWING!!!) left hand.

"I don't know what that is, or how it got there." I sputter, panicking.   _Wait a second...this is REALLY familiar..._

Before that thought has a chance to come together, the angry woman strikes me across the face.  "You're lying!" she yells.

The second woman cuts in, "We need her, Cassandra."

The penny drops.  Cassandra.  Glowing left hand.  Leliana.  Clearly I'm having a very vivid dream about Dragon Age.  I try to wake myself up.  Usually, once I figure out I'm dreaming, it's pretty easy to snap out of it.   _Wake up, wake up!_  Nothing.  I try saying out loud.  "Wake up!  Come on, wake up!"  I mutter to myself.

Cassandra and Leliana stare at me incredulously.  "You are not dreaming," snaps Cassandra.  "Now tell us what happened."  I ignore her and start shaking my head vigorously.  "WAKE UP!" I shout.  Nothing.  Huh.

Leliana exchanges a look with Cassandra, then asks me, "Do you remember what happened?  How this began?"

I paused.  What WAS the last thing I remembered?  I had been riding my bike from my off-campus apartment to my last final exam of the semester.  I heard brakes squealing behind me, then I was flying through the air, then a bright light, and then...nothing.  Nothing until I had opened my eyes a few moments ago.  "I was in an accident.  I think I got hit by a car.  Am I...am I dead?  Is this some sort of hell?"

Again, an exchange of looks.  They are trying to determine if I am crazy or lying.  To be honest, I'm leaning towards crazy myself.  Finally Cassandra speaks.  "Go to the forward camp, Leliana.  I will take her to the rift."

"The rift?"  I ask.  Cassandra kneels, unlocking my shackles, but leaving my wrists bound by rope.  "It...will be easier to show you," she says, leading me from the cell.  The doors open and I blink in the sudden brightness.  Apparently, it was pretty dark in the cell.  Gaping, I look around to see the all-too-familiar buildings of Haven.  Then I look up into the sky and see the gaping hole.  My jaw literally drops.  The in-game graphics don't do it justice.  "We call it the Breach," explains Cassandra.  "It's a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour.  It's not the only such rift, just the largest.  All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.  Unless we act, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world."

Suddenly, the Breach flares and so does the Anchor on my hand.   _HOLYSHITTHATFUCKINGHURTS!!!!_ Cassandra kneels to explain, "Each time the Breach expands, so does the mark on your hand.  It's killing you.  It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn't much time."

I pause before I answer.  I'm pretty sure I'm not dreaming, or at least, that it's not a normal dream.  Maybe I'm in a coma.  Maybe I've been transported to an alternate universe.  Maybe I'm dead and this is purgatory.  Whatever the reason is for the current bizarre situation, it looks like my best option is to play along.  I must have played this opening sequence a dozen times as I tested out new characters.  I know what to say.  "I understand.  I'll do what I can...whatever it takes."

Cassandra nods in approval, and helps me to my feet.  We walk towards the Breach through a crowd of angry, jeering people.  It feels a lot more intimidating than it did in the game.  "They have decided your guilt, they need it.  The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy Divine Justinia, Head of the Chantry.  The Conclave was hers.  It was a chance for peace between mages and templars.  She brought their leaders together, now they are dead."  Wow, there was A LOT of exposition in this opening scene.  I decide to interrupt Cassandra's motivating monologue.

"Don't worry.  I will do my best to seal the Breach, whether or not your angry mob thinks I'm guilty."  Cassandra leads me outside the gates and cuts the rope binding my wrists.  "There will be a trial.  I can promise no more," she answers.  "Come, it is not far.  Your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach."

I nod my agreement, and start jogging up the too-familiar pathway towards the place where I know a smaller rift will be.   _This is actually kind of fun,_ I think as I weave through the barricades.  Suddenly, the Anchor flares again and I am bowled over by the pain.  As I lay on the ground gasping for breath, Cassandra comes to help me up.  "The pulses are coming faster now," she says, and I detect a note of sympathy in her voice.  I nod, and continue jogging for the bridge that I know is going to collapse.  As we reach it, I brace myself for the tumble I know we're about to take.  Sure enough, the bridge is destroyed with a flash of green light, and Cassandra and I go tumbling down.  Owwww.

We brushed ourselves off and stood up.  Right on cue, a shade popped out of the mini-rift.  Cassandra strode out to fight it, leaving me behind.  I looked around to find my weapon that I knew would be there.  To my surprise, there was a small pile of weapons.  Swords, shields, daggers, bows, and even a giant ax.   _Guess I get to choose what I am_ , I thought, grabbing the bow and a quiver of arrows.  I tended to make rogues when I played Dragon Age, plus I had some real-life experience shooting a bow.  Just as I finished slinging the quiver over my back, another shade appeared.

Taking a deep breath, I advanced towards the shade and nocked an arrow to my bow.  I drew back on the string and released.  Bullseye!  Ignoring the urge to do a victory dance and cheer, I continued sticking the shade full of arrows, moving away in a slow, steady circle.  When it finally died, I looked over at Cassandra, flush with my success.  She had just finished killing her shade as well.  She saw the bow in my hands and charged towards me, sword raised.  "Drop your weapon, NOW!" she demanded.  Shocked, I dropped my bow.   _Oh yeah, I forgot about this part_ , I thought as it clattered to the ground.  Cassandra looked surprised, as though she had expected me to put up some sort of resistance.  Sighing, she said, "Wait.  I cannot protect you.  And I cannot expect you to be defenseless.  I should remember that you agreed to come willingly."  She handed me some potions, and off we went.

Soon we came to another group of shades.  Working together, we quickly dispatched them.  I was amazed at how good I was at shooting a bow.  I chalked it up to the magic of the game.  The pattern of move forward a little and then fight some bad things continued.  Once I took a serious swipe to the ribs that should have ordinarily rendered me unable to fight.  I knocked back a potion and jumped back into the battle, good as new.   _This is so awesome!  I wish we had this stuff at home._  Finally, we made our way to a small group of people fighting at the smaller rift.   I gasped when I realized who they were.   _Solas and Varric!  Wow they look so much better in real life._ Varric was firing Bianca with rapid, practiced movements while Solas gracefully dispatched a demon with a flourish of his staff.  When Cassandra and I joined the battle, the last demon was easily dispatched.

Before I could revel in our victory, Solas grabbed my hand.  "Quickly!  Before more come through!"  He shoved my hand towards the rift and a green beam erupted from my outstretched palm, arcing towards the rift.  It burned slightly, but not nearly as bad as the pain had been before.  With a loud pop, the rift sealed and everyone turned towards me.

"What did you do?"  I asked with awe in my voice.  Sure, it was what I was supposed to say, but I really wanted to know what he had done.

" _I_ did nothing, the credit is yours."  Solas demurred.  I snorted and rolled my eyes in disbelief.   _Nice try, buddy, but I've played this game to the end several times now._  I decided not to say anything.  Solas frowned, and continued, "Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand.  I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake - and it seems I was correct."

"Meaning it could close the Breach itself," said Cassandra, coming up behind us with hope in her eyes.  "Possibly," Solas answered humbly.  Then he turned toward me and said, "It seems you hold the key to our salvation."

"Now hold on a minute," I interrupted.  My rational thought process was starting to work again now that I wasn't being interrogated or fighting for my life.  "I don't really know how I got to this world.  I don't really belong here, and I would like to go home.  It's all well and good to fight demons on a computer screen, but doing it in real life isn't my cup of tea."  Turning towards Solas, I said, "You're a mage, a pretty powerful one.  Can you figure out how to send me home?"

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then Solas narrowed his eyes and I suddenly felt like I was covered in cobwebs.  "Ewww!" I cried, scrubbing my arms, face, chest, just trying to get rid of the sensation.  The sensation passed, and Solas looked at Cassandra and said, "She is not a demon.  But she feels...different."

Cassandra re-sheathed the sword she had drawn at my words, and slowly mused, "Whatever she is, she seems to be our only hope for closing the Breach."

Varric finally interrupted.  "Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong," he said, winking at Cassandra.  "What is your name?"

"Amy," I answered, smiling.  Varric was one of my favorite characters, and I was enjoying myself despite the crazy circumstances.  "I'm from the Planet Earth," I added, lamely.  "It's good to meet you, Varric."

Solas chuckled.  "You may reconsider that stance, in time."

"Aww, I'm sure we'll become great friends in the valley, Chuckles," Varric quipped back.  Cassandra started to protest, but again I cut her off.  "Anyway, about me finding a way home..."  I looked at Solas.

"My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.  I am pleased to see you still live."   _Are you kidding me?  We're still sticking to the script?_

Varric cut in again, "He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'"

Sighing, I resigned myself to following some more in-game dialogue.  "You seem to know a great deal about it all," I said, looking at Solas hopefully.  

"Solas is an apostate," Cassandra declared.

"Technically, all mages are now apostates, Cassandra," he replied.  "My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage.  I..."

"Did you see anything about people being sucked into different worlds and how to get them home again?" I interrupted, my voice getting desperate.  "Please, I just want to go home."  My voice cracked, and I gulped back a sob that threatened to break loose.

A look of pity came over his face, and he gently said, "I'm sorry, but no, I have never heard of such a thing.  I do not know how to send you home.  But...I came to offer whatever help I can with the Breach.  If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin."

Sucking in a steadying breath, I nodded and shakily replied, "So, I've got to help seal this Breach thing or I die and getting home becomes a moot point.  Got it."

Solas opened his mouth to say something, but he hesitated, obviously changing his mind.  "This magic is unlike anything I've ever seen...both the mark on your hand and your unique circumstance."

Cassandra interrupted, "We must get to the forward camp, quickly."

No more time to talk, then.  As we moved on, Varric quipped, "Well, Bianca's excited."  Then he awkwardly patted me on the back and said, "It's going to be okay, kid.  We'll get you sorted out as soon as we deal with the Breach."

 _"Sorted out," meaning he thinks I might be crazy._  "Thanks,"  I say.  "By the way, Bianca is lovely."  Hey, I might as well try to get on his good side.

Varric starts to preen and brag about his crossbow as we make our way down the snowy bank.  I tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but I was distracted by the world around me.  The snow was freezing as it seeped into my boots and clothes.  The winter wind bit into my skin.  My body ached and I was getting tired.  I was fairly certain this wasn't a dream or hallucination.  The only two remaining ideas for what was happening to me were after-death experience or I had actually been transported to Thedas.  I wasn't sure which I preferred.  A wisp of hair had blown loose and was whipping around my face in the wind.  I reached up to tuck it behind my ears, and I yelped in surprise.  My ear was pointed.

The group looked around to see what had frightened me.  "I'm an elf!" I shrieked, running hands over my ears and face, feeling the tell-tale ridges of the vallaslin.  I looked down at my body, hidden beneath the leather armor.  It was definitely more slender, and my skin was slightly paler than it usually was, which was saying something.  "I'm an elf," I whispered, repeating myself as I ran my hands over my ears again.

"I take it you were not an elf before?"  Solas asked, unable to mask his curiosity.  

"N-no.  There are no elves in my world.  No magic either.  Everyone is a human.  I'm a human."  My voice was shaking, as was my entire body.   _I'm going into shock._

"We must keep moving," said Cassandra, not unkindly.  "We will discuss this later, when there is time."

And on we went.  A rift opened in front of us, and I fought the demons that poured out of it on auto-pilot.  I lifted my hand towards the rift, unsure of what I was supposed to do.   _Close,_ I thought.  The green arc of light jumped from my hand to the rift.  I winced at the burning sensation, but I held my hand steady until the rift was sealed.  I barely registered the words of congratulations from my companions.  We entered the forward camp and I saw Leliana arguing with a man who I assumed must be Chancellor Roderick.  I heard him call for my execution, but he may as well have been commenting on the weather.  My brain simply refused to react to anything anymore.  I watched as he, Leliana, and Cassandra argued with each other.  Finally, I said, "Isn't closing the Breach the more pressing issue?"

They started to argue about which path to take.  Charge straight to the temple or take the mountain path?  Suddenly the Breach flared, and the mark on my hand did too.  I cried out in pain and clutched my hand to my chest.  Everyone stared at me.  "I'm fine," I said, woodenly.  

Cassandra asked, "How do you think we should proceed?"

"Mountain path," I answered.  It was always the choice I made when I played the game, so I figured we had a pretty good shot at success.

Cassandra wasn't too happy with my choice, but she didn't complain.  Soon, we were heading towards the mountain.   _What the hell have I gotten myself into?_ I wondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the dialogue is from Dragon Age Inquisition by BioWare. It will eventually shift towards more original dialogue in a few chapters.


	2. Climb Every Mountain

We continued up the mountain.  We climbed ladder after ladder, and my exposed fingers quickly became numb.  Ice had formed on the rungs, and my feet struggled to find purchase as we climbed.  I was still numb on the inside as well as the outside.  I climbed mechanically; hand, foot, hand, foot, over and over.  Suddenly, I slipped near the top of a particularly tall ladder.  I didn't even have time to scream as I tumbled to certain death.  Just as suddenly, my fall was arrested and pain exploded through my right shoulder.  Solas, who had been climbing behind me, had reached out and grabbed me as I fell.  "Are you all right?" he asked as I scrambled to get back on the ladder.

I nodded.  "Yes.  Thank you.  Thank you for saving my life...again."

"Of course," he said, as if saving people from falling to their deaths was something he did everyday.  

I made it to the next platform before I lost it.  Nearly plummeting to the bottom of a mountain had shaken me out of my numbness, and I collapsed into a ball and started sobbing hysterically.  Solas made it to the platform, quickly followed by Varric and Cassandra.  Everyone stood around awkwardly, not quite sure of what to do.  Finally, Varric came over and patted my back.  I grabbed him like I was drowning and he was the only thing that floated.  As I sobbed uncontrollably, he wrapped his arms around me.  "There, there...everything's going to be alright, kid.  It's a lot to take in, but you'll see.  It'll be fine," he said.  

Solas and Cassandra looked on with pity as I hiccuped and said, "I'm so sorry.  I'll pull it together."  

I sniffled and wiped tears and snot from my face before they could freeze.  The tips of my fingers were turning blue.  Solas noticed and grabbed my hands, casting a warming spell.  "That should keep you from getting frostbite," he said.  

"We should keep moving," Cassandra said, ever pragmatic.

We finally made it to the old mining tunnels, which were riddled with demons, of course.  We fought our way to a group of dead soldiers.  Cassandra swore that this was not all of them, and that there were more to rescue.  And sure enough, yet another rift opened in front of us as soon as we found the remaining soldiers.  As we closed (yet another) rift, Solas remarked, "You are becoming quite proficient at this."

"I'm a fast learner," I answered.

"Let's just hope it works on the big one," Varric said.

As the rescued soldiers thanked Cassandra, she redirected their thanks to me.   _Still calling me "the prisoner," I see._ Soon enough we were dropping into the giant crater that used to be a temple.  Dozens of burned bodies were littered on the ground.  I gagged at the smell.  "That is where you walked out of the Fade, and where our soldiers found you," Cassandra said softly.  "They say a woman was in the rift behind you.  No one knows who she was."  

I almost told her that it was Justinia, but something made me stop.  Perhaps it would be better to keep things as they were in the game.  This way, I would have some knowledge of what would happen.  As we approached the Breach, my breath caught in my throat.  It was SO BIG.  And it seemed to reach up forever.  How would I even get close enough to use my mark?

As if he read my mind, Solas said, "This rift was the first.  It is the key.  Seal it, and perhaps we seal the Breach."

"All right, let's do this," I said.

"Be careful," cautioned Cassandra.

As I moved towards the rift, I could hear Corypheus' voice calling for a sacrifice.  Then I heard Divine Justinia's voice call out for help.  And my voice ask what was going on.   _This is too bizarre_.  Cassandra peppered me with questions that I knew I could not answer, and Solas told me to reopen and reseal the rift, just as it had happened in the game.  And just as I had seen so many times on a computer screen, a gigantic pride demon came out of the rift.  Once again, I was unprepared for how BIG this thing was in real life.  My mouth went dry, but I was able to shoot it with arrows while Cassandra whacked it with a sword.   _My aim is amazing!_   I thought smugly.  "Now!  Seal the rift!  Do it!" yelled Cassandra. _  
_

Automatically, I threw my hand up and formed the increasingly familiar arc of green light.   _Wait a minute...isn't this the part when..._  There was a flash of bright light, and I was thrown backwards, slamming against something very, very solid.  My last thoughts before I sank into unconsciousness were  _I've got to do a better job of remembering what's going to happen._

\--------------------------

My head was pounding.  I blinked slowly, lifting my head to survey the unfamiliar room.  Animal pelts were tacked to the wall, and the room was lit by a flickering torch.   _What the...where am I?  Oh, yeah..._   My brain finally caught up and remembered that I was in Thedas.  In a video game.  Apparently, I was going to be here for a little while longer.

The door creaked open, and an elf girl walked into the room carrying a box of some kind.  She gasped when she saw that I was awake and dropped the box, apologizing profusely.  "I beg your forgiveness, and your blessing.  I am but a humble servant," she said, falling to her hands and knees.

My impish side decided to come out to play.  I mimicked her pose, falling to my hands and knees as well.  The elf looked at me, puzzled, and said, "My lady?  What are you doing?"

"What are  _you_ doing?" I answered.  "I'm just following your lead."

Slowly, she raised herself to a sitting position.  I copied her movements, and said as gently as I could, "No one bows to me, and I bow to no one.  Now, can you tell me where I am, and what's going on?"

"You are back in Haven, my lady.  They say you saved us.  The Breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand.  It's all anyone has talked about for the last three days."

"Three days?  Have I been asleep all that time?"

"Yes.  The Breach is still in the sky...but I'm certain that Lady Cassandra would want to know you've wakened.  She said, 'At once.'  She's in the Chantry, with the Lord Chancellor."

Sighing, I stood to go meet Cassandra.  Suddenly, my eye was caught by a small mirror placed next to a wash basin.  I snatched it up to see my new reflection.  My hair was still black, and my eyes were still blue, but everything else looked different.  My face was angular and sharp, my nose was smaller, my eyebrows were darker.  Of course, the major differences were my ears and the vallaslin.  The blood markings were the same blue as my eyes and looked like they belonged to June.  I traced the lines that framed my new delicate features.  They were actually kind of pretty.  They certainly highlighted my high cheekbones and big blue eyes.  My hair was elaborately braided.  I wondered if I would be able to replicate the style on my own.

My thoughts were interrupted by the elven servant.  "Lady Cassandra said 'At once,'" she repeated apologetically.

"Of course," I said, putting the mirror down reluctantly.  A closer examination of my new face would have to wait.  "Lead the way, please."

My heart started hammering as I saw the crowd of people who had gathered between my cabin and the Chantry.  Everyone was staring at me and talking about me, most not even bothering to whisper as I passed by.  I squared my shoulders and tried to make my face as blank as I could as I walked up the Chantry stairs.  I went to the room that would become my war room and saw Cassandra, Leliana, and Chancellor Roderick arguing.

Chancellor Roderick called for my arrest, but Cassandra dismissed his words as soon as he spoke them.  I knew that I was supposed to say something, but my mouth had suddenly gone completely dry and I wasn't exactly sure that I remembered how to speak.  I decided to stand there awkwardly while the grown-ups figured what to do.  Then I heard the words "Herald of Andraste," and I went from being unable to speak to being unable to shut up.

"Oh, no, no, no...I'm not the Herald of Andraste or anyone.  Nothing divine here.  Nope.  Just little old me, bumbling my way into things I have no business..."

Cassandra cut me off.  "No matter what you believe, you are exactly what we needed when we needed it."

Chancellor Roderick bleated some feeble protest before she slammed a gigantic book down in front of him.  "Do you know what this is?  It is a writ from the Holy Divine granting us authority to act.  As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn."   _Well, shit._

As he retreated from the room, Leliana began bemoaning the state of affairs.  I kind of agreed with her.  No supplies, limited numbers, no Chantry support...it looked bad.  "How did I get roped into this?" I moaned.

Leliana and Cassandra launched into their explanation of what the Inquisition was and how we simply couldn't wait for a new Divine to be appointed.  I half-listened to their words, lost in my own thoughts.   _Take a deep breath, let's go over what you know.  1.  You are stuck in this world with no way home in sight.  2.  Pain and injury are real here, so it's probably best to look out for yourself while you're here.  3.  You know what's going to happen, but these people seem to really want to stick to the script.  4.  You've already told them you are from another world, so that cat's out of the bag (nice going, genius).  5.  They don't know that you know what's going to happen...and it's probably better to keep it that way.  No sense in getting blamed for things that go wrong because you didn't or couldn't warn them in time.  Okay...just try to play along and stay alive._

"Help us fix this, before it's too late."  Cassandra's voice snapped me out of my internal monologue.  Her hand was extended towards mine.   _Time to play along_.  Plastering what I hoped was a convincing smile over my face, I reached out and grasped her hand to shake it.

"Of course I will help you," I said.  "But before we begin, I was wondering if we could all sit down and discuss my...situation.  I think Varric and Solas should be present, as well as anyone else you think ought to be informed."  I hoped that would be enough for Cassandra to invite Cullen and Josephine, since I couldn't ask for them by name yet.

Cassandra nodded.  "You are right.  We do need to discuss things.  I will have them sent for immediately."

Soon enough, everyone had made it to the war room.  Cassandra introduced me to Cullen and Josephine.  Josephine greeted me in Elvhen, and I smiled and said, "I'm sorry.  I don't understand what you just said, but I'm sure I appreciate the sentiment."  Her face fell a bit, and I knew she had hoped to impress me with her effort, but she quickly recovered and continued her introductory speech.

I cleared my throat.  "So...I'm not sure how much everyone has been told over the last few days while I slept, so I'm going to start from the beginning."  I hesitated, looking around at the six curious faces in front of me.  How much could I tell them?  What would they understand?  Leliana nodded for me to continue, so I took a deep breath and said, "I am not from this world.  I'm from a planet called Earth, and a country called America.  My world doesn't have any magic, we have science and technology that is far beyond this world.  This isn't my body...or at least it's not the body I'm used to on my world.  Where I come from, this world only exists in a series of video games."   _Oh dear, I'm losing them..._ "Um...video games are something we play for entertainment.  They're kind of...stories that play out in front of you on a screen.  There are devices with buttons to push, and by pushing certain buttons you can kind of direct where the story goes.  Anyway, the first story was about the Hero of Ferelden, the second one was about the Champion of Kirkwall, and the third one was about...well, me.  I'm not really sure, I just started playing it.  Wow, I'm not making much sense, am I?"

"Why don't you try telling us how you got here?" Solas gently suggested.  "Start with the last things you can remember."

"Oh...okay.  Well, the night before, I was studying for my last exam.  It's for a course on Old World Prehistory; I'm about to graduate this semester with a degree in Anthropology, which is the study of humanity, society, culture, and...you know what, it doesn't matter.  Anyway, it got late, and I decided to go to bed.  I played Dragon Age, which is the name of the video game, for a few minutes to help myself relax, and then I went to sleep.  In the morning, I got up, ate breakfast, took a shower, got dressed, and then rode my bike to campus so I could take my exam.  Except...I never made it.  All I remember is hearing a car braking behind me, then an impact, a bright light, and suddenly I'm waking up shackled in a cell."

No one seemed to want to speak.  Everyone blinked at me, probably wondering what the heck a "bike" and a "car" were.  I decided to move on to the topic I actually cared about.  "So...I was thinking we should keep the fact that I am from another world kind of private.  I mean, you guys seem to be taking it well, but I have a feeling most other people wouldn't...people like Chancellor Roderick, for example.  And I kind of like being not-executed."

"I completely agree," broke in Leliana.  "You should keep this information within your most trusted circle.  I am sure that everyone present can agree to keep this information to themselves," she said, pointedly glaring at Varric.

"Hey, I can keep a secret when I need to," he grumbled.

Clearing my throat, I looked at Solas.  "Actually, I have a question for you.  Well, more than one, but anyway...Can you tell if this body used to belong to someone else, or if it was created when I came through?"

Solas looked puzzled, then thoughtful.  I felt that icky covered-in-cobwebs feeling again, only more intense than last time.  I couldn't quite repress a shudder of disgust.  "I can only sense one presence in you," he said cautiously.  "Whether you displaced the body's original soul or are the first to inhabit it, I cannot tell."

I looked at Leliana.  "Perhaps you could see if you can find anything out?  Maybe someone is looking for a missing elf or something.  Oh God," I said, paling as a new thought occurred to me.  "What if she has a family?  What if she has kids?"

"I will see what I can do," Leliana said.

I nodded.  "Well, then...now that that's out of the way...let's get down to business!"  And so we spent the rest of the afternoon discussing Mother Giselle and Horsemaster Dennet.


	3. Dream a Little Dream of Me

When we were finished in the war room, my advisers insisted that I meet various members of the Inquisition.  I trudged around town, smiling and inquiring like a good little Herald.  By the time we made it to the bar to talk to Flissa, I was nearly collapsing.  The smell of the food awakened a roaring hunger in my belly, and I realized that it had probably been a week since I had last eaten.  Varric and Solas were already seated at a table when I entered, midway through their dinners.  Varric saw me enter and waved me over, signaling to Flissa to bring over more food.

I sank into the empty chair, nearly crying with relief.  A plate of stew and a hunk of bread were placed in front of me, and I eagerly raised a steaming spoonful to my lips.  Suddenly, I remembered the legends of humans who wandered into faery lands, and how eating and drinking faery food could entrap them there forever.  I halted the spoon so fast that some of the stew sloshed onto the table.  

Varric raised his eyebrows.  "It's not poisoned, Herald."

"No, it's not that," I answered, hesitant to reveal the real reason for my apprehension.

Now Solas was raising his eyebrows.  "You must be starving.  It has been several days since you last ate."

I felt my face turning red, and I muttered, "I don't want to be trapped here...and faery food...you see, in my world, there's an old legend...augh, I'm being stupid!"  I dropped the spoon back into the plate and buried my face in my arms.

"What is the legend?"  Solas asked gently.

 I groaned, and kept my head in my arms.  "Well, if a person wanders into the land of the faeries, if they eat or drink anything, they can be trapped there forever.  Or fall under an enchantment.  Sometimes the stories say that the unfortunate traveler returns home, thinking they've only been gone for a single evening, to find that hundreds of years have passed.  And I know you guys aren't faeries, and I know they don't really exist...although, for all I know, maybe they are real.  I mean, a few days ago, elves weren't real."  I lifted my head to see both of them staring at me sympathetically.  "I guess I don't really have too much of a choice, do I?  If I don't eat, I die, right?"

I grabbed the spoon and took a bite of the stew.  It tasted better than any five-star fine cuisine.  I tried to slow down and maintain a scrap of my remaining dignity, but I couldn't help myself.  Soon I abandoned all pretense and stopped using the spoon, raising the plate to my mouth and tipping the stew straight down my gullet.  Some of it dribbled down my chin, and I barely paused to chew the chunks of meat.  When it was done, I tore into my bread, washing it down with the tankard of ale that had been set in front of me at some point.  I was still starving, and I greedily stared at the half-finished bowls in front of Varric and Solas.  Apparently, they had stopped eating to watch my disgusting display with morbid fascination.  Wordlessly, Solas pushed his plate towards me.

Too hungry to be proud, I gratefully accepted.  "Thank you," I rasped.  Fortunately, I managed to slow down enough to start using a spoon again.  "What is this meat?  I've never tasted anything quite like it."

"Nug," supplied Varric, helpfully.  "Or, at least, what Flissa claims to be nug meat.  Hey, you might want to slow down...you'll make yourself sick if you eat too much too fast."

I sheepishly stopped scraping the bottom of Solas' plate.  My stomach still roared with hunger, but I knew he was right.  I turned my attention to the tankard of ale, trying to sip it slowly.  I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose in disgust, now that I was drinking it slow enough to taste it.  "Do you think I could have some water or something?  I've never really cared for the taste of alcohol."

Varric got Flissa's attention again, and soon I had a pitcher of water and a cup in front of me.  I gulped down the first cup quickly, then tried to pace myself, sipping slowly.  "So Varric...tell me about Hawke.  I'm curious if she made the same decisions as I did when I...um, you know..."  I lowered my voice in case anyone was listening.  "When I played her in my game."

Varric was only too happy to discuss his adventures with Hawke with me.  I was happy to learn that Hawke had allied with the mages, spared Anders, and most importantly, gotten a happy ending with Fenris.  "Oh, good!  I was hoping that he would get over his damn fatalism and let himself be happy.  Oh, I wish you knew the Hero of Ferelden so I could ask you about her."

"Why did you decide to spare Anders?" Solas interrupted.

"Well, I had just spent over a hundred hours adventuring with him.  And what he did was wrong, but he was desperate.  I like to think I would show compassion and mercy to one of my friends.  But ultimately, he was a fictional character in a video game, and I was hoping he would make a cameo appearance in future games," I answered, blushing.  I tried to discern what he thought of my answer, but his face was a mask of polite thoughtfulness.

I rubbed my stomach, which was starting to cramp from the sudden influx of food.  Wincing, I said, "Well, I think I'm going to return to my cabin for the night.  Thank you for the food.  I suppose I'll see you both in the morning when we set out for the Hinterlands."

To my surprise, Solas stood up and said, "May I accompany you to your cabin, Herald?  There are some matters I would like to discuss with you."

I agreed, and he fell into step next to me as we exited the tavern and walked towards the cabin.  "The Chosen of Andraste, a blessed hero sent to save us all," he quipped.

I grinned, I knew this conversation by heart.  "Am I riding in on a shining steed?"

He laughed and said, "I would have suggested a griffon, but sadly, they're extinct.  Joke as you will, posturing is necessary."

I decided to veer off course a little.  "Griffons existed in this world?  Awesome."

Solas sent me a warning glance, and then looked significantly around us.  I got the message: Don't broadcast the whole being-from-a-different-world thing.  He continued his part of the conversation.  "I've journeyed deep into the Fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations.  I've watched as hosts of spirits clash to reenact the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten.  Every great war has its heroes.  I'm just curious what kind you'll be."

I chuckled dryly, "According to Harvey Dent, you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.  Not sure I want either of those choices.  But I'll do my best."

Solas' mouth was twisted in a grimace.  "Wise words, indeed.  I hope a kinder fate is in store for you.  I will stay, then, at least until the Breach has been closed."

"Was that ever in doubt?" I asked, smiling.

"I am an apostate surrounded by Chantry forces in the middle of a mage rebellion.  Cassandra has been accommodating, but you understand my caution."

We had reached my cabin.  "You came here to help, Solas.  I won't let them use that against you."

He gave a small, wry smile to my answer.  "How would you stop them?"

"However I had to," I said with complete sincerity.

"Thank you.  For now, let us hope either the mages or the templars have the power to seal the Breach."

"Would you please come in?  We can speak more freely inside," I said.  He nodded, and we both went inside.  Once I had shut the door, I turned towards him and took a deep breath.  "Solas...please be honest with me.  I will not get upset with you, I promise."  I could see him tense at my words.   _He thinks I'm going to ask him about Fen'Harel,_ I realized.  "Do you know how to send me home, but are keeping me here because I'm the only one who can seal rifts?"

He visibly relaxed and shook his head.  "Ir abelas...I'm sorry, but no.  I truly have no idea how you came to be here or how to return you to your world."

"Would you send me home if you knew?  Even if I am the only one who can help because of this?"  I waved my left hand.

His brow furrowed.  "I do not know, truthfully.  Are you so eager to return home that you would let this world be destroyed?"

Sighing, I answered, "I guess not.  I just wish I knew what happened.  What my family is going through.  Do they even know that I'm missing?  What do they think happened?"  I shook my head, and decided to change the topic before I started crying  _again_.  

"So...I'm an elf.  That's new.  Got any pointers?"

Solas raised an eyebrow.  "Was that a joke?"

"What?  No...Oh, God...no, I didn't mean it like  _that_..."  I panicked, thinking I had offended him, before I realized that his eyes were gleaming with humor.  I giggled, and then continued, "But seriously, do you have any advice or insights for me?  Like, how old would you say I am?"

He tilted his head and scrutinized me.  "It is difficult to tell the age of an elf based on appearance alone, but I would guess that you are a young adult, perhaps in your early twenties."

I nodded to myself.  "That matches up with my real age, I guess.  I was twenty-two in my world."   _Should I ask him how old he is?  No, that might tip my hand too much.  Better play it safe._

"I do have some advice for you," he said, hesitantly.  "Be aware that many humans will treat you poorly because of the shape of your ears.  In some lands, elves are primarily servants and slaves.  Your vallaslin mark you as a Dalish elf, so most will assume you are a wild savage.  Try to find a way to use their prejudices in your favor."

I ran my hand over my face, feeling the unfamiliar raised lines beneath my fingertips.  "Never thought I'd be a face tattoo kind of girl," I quipped.  "No one will ever hire me now."  

Solas looked as though he were about to say something, but I suddenly doubled over in pain from the cramps in my stomach.  With a look of concern, he helped me lie down on my bed.  He spread his hand over my stomach and a green glow pulsed beneath his palm.  "Thank you," I sighed in relief as the pain receded.  "You have been helping me at every turn, it seems.  I owe you, big time."

Smiling gently, Solas replied, "You owe me nothing.  I am happy to be of assistance."  

I gestured towards the chair in a corner of the room.  "Won't you sit and talk with me?  Please tell me about your journeys in the Fade.  We don't have a Fade in my world."  I knew that he would be more than happy to tell me about his beloved Fade, and at the moment I just wanted someone to stay with me and fill the silence.  I prompted him to continue when he paused and asked questions at all the right times.  I found that I loved listening to the sound of his voice.   _Careful, don't you go falling in love with him.  Remember how he broke your heart on that first play-through?  Besides, your goal is to leave this place ASAP.  Get it together, Amy._ Still, I wished desperately that I could change the end of his story.  Of everyone's stories, really.  What was the point of knowing what was going to happen if I was going to be powerless to change it?

Soon, he started asking me questions about my world.  He was fascinated by the idea of the Internet, the technology I described, democracy, and my description of modern society.  His questions were insightful and he was very quick to understand new concepts.  At some point during our long conversation, I started to drift off to sleep.  I vaguely sensed a blanket being gently draped over me, and then I relinquished my hold on consciousness.

\--------------------

I blinked my eyes and sat up.  I was in my childhood bed in the room I shared with my younger sister, Maggie.  Before I had time to figure out how I got there, Maggie popped her head in the door.  "Come on, Amy!  We're all downstairs opening presents!  Get up!  There's no sleeping in on Christmas!"  And with a laugh, she popped back out of the room.

I jumped out of bed and raced downstairs.  There were my mother and father, Maggie, and my two younger brothers, Justin and Ethan.  I recognized the tree; it was the one from last Christmas.   _This is a dream,_ I thought.  I realized I didn't care.  I was with my family, and that was all that mattered.  I joined them on the couch as presents were passed around.  I remembered these presents.  I watched as my mother opened the perfume I had bought her and my father opened the pack of arrowheads I had bought him.  "Compound broadheads!  Nice!  We can use them when we go hunting," he said, smiling at me.  My siblings opened various video games and movies that they had requested, and I opened a package of books.

"Amy," my mother said hesitantly, "you remember Mrs. Jefferson from church, don't you?  Well, her grandson is in town for Christmas.  He's graduating in May with a degree in business, and he's single.  I was hoping to introduce you to him..."

"Ugh!  Mom!  Did you seriously set me up with someone over Christmas break?  Give it a rest, I'm 22, not menopausal," I said, rolling my eyes in frustration.

"Please, Amy, just meet him.  For me.  For Christmas," my mom said, with puppy-dog eyes.

I rolled my eyes again.  "Fine.  I'll meet him.  Just don't be disappointed when it doesn't work out.  A business major, Mom?  Seriously?"

My mother grinned, thrilled that she had gotten me to agree.  We all finished opening presents and spent the rest of the day lounging around the house, watching Christmas movies, eating cookies, singing carols, and just enjoying time together as a family.  After we finished eating dinner, I stepped outside to go for a nighttime stroll, just as I had before when this day was a reality.  As I crunched through the snow in the woods behind the house, I sang the song I had sung before.

_I wonder as I wander out under the sky_  
_Why Jesus the Savior did come for to die_  
_For poor on'ry people like you and like I  
_ _I wonder as I wander out under the sky_

I stopped singing as I suddenly noticed I wasn't alone.  Just a few feet away from me, a white wolf with bright blue eyes sat and stared at me.   _This must be Solas,_ I thought.   _But I can't let him know that I know that it's him_.  Crouching down to the ground, I held out my hand.  "Hello, Mr. Wolf.  What are you doing in my dream?"

The wolf blinked, and then to my surprise, he came close enough for me to pet him.  "I'm glad you're a nice wolf," I said, "although I suppose you have to be, since you're part of my dream, after all."  The wolf snuffed, and I decided to interpret it as the wolf version of a chuckle.  "Well, I should be heading back now.  Goodbye, Mr. Wolf," I said, turning back towards the house.

Once I was back in the house, I hugged my parents goodnight, making sure I told them both that I loved them.  I didn't care that they weren't real, I felt better that I got to tell them.  Then, I returned to my room to spend the night chatting and gossiping with Maggie.  Soon, she fell asleep and I was left alone.  I glanced at my bedroom walls, covered from floor to ceiling with the books that I loved so dearly.  I wished that I could take some of them with me when I woke up, but I knew that would be impossible.  My gaze landed on my copy of Arabian Nights, and suddenly I had an epiphany.  Here was the answer!  I grabbed the copy of the book and clutched it to my chest, laughing.  This would be how I changed the fates of the characters I had grown to love in the world I suddenly found myself in.  

I felt myself slipping out of the Fade, and when I woke, I had a smile on my face.  I had a plan.  Everything was going to be alright.


	4. Scars

A beam of sunlight streamed into the cabin, falling across my face and gently rousing me from my sleep.  I stretched and yawned, feeling much better after a full night's sleep.  I also noticed that I smelled particularly sour.  How long had I been wearing these clothes?  I quickly stripped them off and made my way to the wash basin.  There was a pitcher of water, a chunk of soap, and a clean rag laid neatly next to it.  It was a little awkward to wash myself standing up, but I managed well enough.  I examined my new body as I scrubbed it.

My hair, once unbraided, fell to my waist.  It was thick and wavy.  My arms and thighs were covered with thin, short scars.  They looked to be accumulated over many years.   _She cut herself_ , I realized.  On each inner forearm, there was one long deep scar running from wrist to elbow.  These scars looked to be the freshest, they couldn't be more than a few weeks old.  My heart sank as I realized that this girl had tried to kill herself.  I wondered if that was how I came to be in her body...had she vacated the premises and left behind an empty shell that I just came along and took over?  I shuddered and rinsed myself as quickly as I could, arranging my hair in a simple braid down my back.

I found new clothes neatly folded in the cabin's simple dresser, and I quickly slipped them on.  I glanced at the pile of soiled clothes I had thrown on the floor.   _I should probably wash those for later_.  I dumped the dirty, soapy water that had accumulated in the basin out the window, and then threw the dirty clothes and the rest of the water in the basin.  I rubbed the soap on each piece of clothing, fully aware that I was not washing them properly.  Perhaps I would ask for a washboard later.  I rinsed and wringed out the clothes as best I could, then draped them around the sparse furniture to dry.  Finally, I stepped out into the chill morning air to seek some breakfast at the tavern.

To my surprise, Solas was walking towards my cabin.  He smiled as he saw me emerge, and greeted me.  "Good morning, Herald.  Did you sleep well?  I was just about to make sure you were awake.  Cassandra wants to get an early start on our journey to the Hinterlands."

I fell into step beside him as we walked towards the tavern together.  "I slept very well, thank you.  I was just on my way to get some breakfast.  Have you already eaten, or would you like to join me?"

"I have already eaten," he answered, "but I would still like to join you."

We entered the tavern, and he made his way to claim some room at one of the crowded tables while I grabbed a plate of breakfast from Flissa.  By the time I made it to the table, he had been joined by Varric and Cassandra.  Breakfast turned out to be a glop of oatmeal, a hard-boiled egg, and a couple of biscuits.  "Is coffee available here?"  I asked my companions.

Cassandra shook her head.  "Coffee is almost never found outside of Rivain.  We have tea, if you would like."

I wrinkled my nose at the idea.  "No thank you, Cassandra.  I'm not a fan of drinking grass clippings."

Varric chuckled, and I was pretty sure I saw Solas' mouth twitch.  I quickly finished my breakfast, and soon we all left the tavern and went to meet with the blacksmith.  Apparently, Cullen had insisted that the entire group be given new armor before we ventured into the Hinterlands.  Varric and I were given tough but flexible leathers, Solas got some new robes, and Cassandra got an entire new set of plate mail.  Finally, we were all ready, and we ventured away from Haven.  A crowd had gathered to see us off, and I immediately felt incredibly awkward.  I began to fiddle with the end of my braid, stopping only when Cassandra fixed me with a disapproving glare.

We traveled until darkness began to fall, with little incident.  Cassandra declared that we should set up camp, as we had reached the edge of the Hinterlands and would continue on our journey the next morning.

"So, kid, tell us something about yourself," Varric said as we set up the camp.

"Did Leliana put you up to this?" I asked, only half joking.

Solas snorted.  "Was that a serious question?"

"Mostly serious," I laughed.  "It doesn't matter, though.  What would you like to know?"

"Well, for starters, do you have a family?"  Varric asked.

I nodded.  "I do have a family.  I have two younger brothers; Justin is nineteen and Ethan is fifteen.  I also have a younger sister, Maggie.  She's twelve.  As for my parents, my dad is a mechanic and my mom teaches theater at the local high school.  She wanted to be an actress on Broadway, but she got pregnant with me instead.  She married my dad, and the rest is history.  She always wanted me to get into acting, but I wanted to study anthropology instead.  She's always moaning about my wasted talents.  I may have the only mother in history who is disappointed I'm _not_ a struggling actress."  That earned a laugh from the group.

"Wasted talents?" asked Cassandra.

"Yeah...I have an auditory eidetic memory when it comes to music.  Basically, I only have to hear a song once or twice for it to stick in my brain.  It's a neat party trick, but that's pretty much it."

"I think we are going to need a demonstration of this talent," said Varric as we all settled around the fire and waited for our supper to cook.

Solas and Cassandra nodded their agreement.  I laughed and shook my head.  "It won't do any good to fight you on this one, will it?  All right...let's see...here's a song my mother sang to us as a lullaby.  It's from a movie...a story about a little mouse who gets separated from his family as they are traveling to America."

Clearing my throat, I began to sing:

 _Somewhere out there,_  
_Beneath the pale moonlight,_  
 _Someone's thinking of me_  
 _And loving me tonight._

 _Somewhere out there,_  
_Someone's saying a prayer_  
 _That soon we'll be together_  
 _In that big somewhere out there._

 _And even though I know how very far apart we are,_  
_It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star._  
 _And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,_  
 _It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky._

I stopped singing.  A lump had suddenly formed in my throat.  _We aren't under the same sky, though.  We may never be under the same sky again_.  "Even the stars are wrong," I whispered.    I blinked rapidly to clear the haze of tears from my eyes.  Looking around the fire, I could see grim and sympathetic expressions on my companions' faces.  This would not do.

"Perhaps I will sing another night," I said.  "For now, I will tell you a story I have always loved.  It's called _The Princess Bride_ , and it begins with a grandfather visiting his sick grandson..."

And so I sat by the fire and told my companions about Princess Buttercup, Westley, Fezzik, Inigo Montoya, and Vizzini.  I told of the power of true love, fighting to the pain, ROUS-es, and being mostly dead.  As we munched our simple supper, I watched their faces dance with laughter, sorrow, worry, and joy.  By the time I uttered the last "As you wish," Cassandra was dabbing at her eyes.  _Success!_

"Varric will take first watch, I will take second, the Herald will take third, and Solas will take the last watch," Cassandra declared.  "We have a long day ahead of us."

We had divided the tents by gender, so Cassandra and I ducked into our tent while Solas disappeared into the tent he would share with Varric.  As I closed the tent flap, I caught a glimpse of Varric rubbing Bianca with an oiled cloth.

Despite the hardness of the ground and the lumps in my sleeping roll, I fell asleep almost immediately.  We had walked at a brisk pace for most of the day, although fortunately the path to the camp had been mostly clear.  I didn't even notice Varric coming in to wake Cassandra for her watch.  I dreamed briefly of a summer day I had spent at a lake with my family, an increasingly familiar white wolf watching me from a distance.  I paused my splashing in the lake and raised my hand to wave at him.  The wolf inclined his head in acknowledgement, but did not move from his distant vantage point.  _He's guarding me,_ I realized.  He was probably keeping me safe from demons, which I admittedly had no idea how to fight.

My peaceful dream was interrupted by Cassandra gently shaking me awake.  "It is your turn to keep watch," she said.  "Wake Solas up after two hours have passed."  Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I reluctantly left the warmth of my blanket and stepped out into the cold night air.

I waited until I thought everyone was asleep.  I grabbed my cloak and walked a short way from the camp until I came to the edge of the cliff.  It was beautiful here, so still and calm and serene.  Taking a deep breath, I started to pray.  I figured it was a long shot, but it was all I had left.  "Hi there God.  It's me, Amy.  So listen, I know it's been a while since we talked, and I don't even know if you can hear me.  I mean, if you even exist, can you hear me in this world?  Anyway, I thought I'd give it a shot.  Please, please help me get home.  I just want to see my family again.  I don't belong here.  This isn't my body, this isn't my home.  I just...I miss them all, so much.  Please, please, please..."

Tears were streaming down my face.  I started reciting every prayer I could remember, praying to every saint and angel I could think of.  I made all sorts of bargains and promises, if only I could return home.  Finally, I ran out of words and simply sat hugging my knees, sobbing quietly in the night.

Suddenly, I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle, like I was being watched.  I jerked my head around to see who was there.  I was surprised to see the beautiful white wolf from my dreams, almost glowing in the moonlight. _Solas,_ I thought.  The wolf stared at me, tail twitching.  Slowly, I reached into my cloak's pocket and drew out a piece of jerky.  I tore off a chunk and tossed it towards the wolf.  It's nose twitched, and it huffed a breath in what I could swear was amusement.  I tossed another chunk a bit closer to me, and the wolf finally started to move towards me, snapping up the jerky as he came.  _I'm luring the Dread Wolf to come sit with me...Amy, are you insane?_

"Come here, buddy," I sniffled, patting the ground next to me, holding out the rest of the jerky.  The wolf padded over and sat next to me.  I flung an arm around its neck, running my fingers through its fur.  We sat together for a long while in silence, the wolf patiently letting me settle my emotions.  I softly sang the last verse of the song I hadn't been able to finish earlier.

 _Somewhere out there,_  
_Love will see us through,_  
 _And soon we'll be together,_  
 _Out in somewhere, out where dreams come true._

Finally, I lifted my hand and dashed the last of my tears from my eyes.  "Alright, Mr. Wolf.  That's the last time I cry over this...situation.  From here on out, I'm going to keep my chin up and make the best of the hand I've been dealt.  I'm going to make friends, and help people, and just enjoy this adventure.  No more wallowing!" I declared, more for my own benefit than his.

I stood, brushing off my clothes.  "And now, I'd better head back to camp.  Time to wake up poor Solas."  Turning to the wolf, I said, "Thank you, Mr. Wolf, for your companionship.  Also, thank you for watching over me in my dreams.  I hope I see you again."

He twitched his tail in response, then bounded off into the woods.  _Probably trying to beat me back to camp_ , I thought, walking slowly to give him plenty of time.  Sure enough, as I came up to the camp, there was Solas, sitting at the campfire.  He gave me a slightly stern look as I came to join him at the fire.  "I was about to wake the others to search for you," he chided.

I swallowed back my laughter at his fib.  "I'm sorry.  I was close enough to hear if there was trouble, but I won't wander off during my watch again."

Solas nodded his acceptance of my apology.  I decided to take advantage of the fact that we were the only two awake.  "I'm pretty sure that this body belonged to someone else before I occupied it," I said, raising my sleeve to display the scars I had discovered that morning.  "These do not belong to me, and I can't imagine why a newly created body would have them."

Solas gently grasped my wrist to turn it over and examine it.  His expression darkened as he saw the nature of the scars, but his voice was kind when he said, "I drew the same conclusion when I examined you as you slept, Herald.  Perhaps our spymaster will be able to find something out about the previous occupant that will give us some hint as to what happened to you in the Fade.  Until then, you should get some more rest.  The day ahead of us will be long and wearing."

I hesitated.  Did I want to risk entering the Fade without him there to watch over me?  _More importantly, do you want to miss out on some quality one-on-one time with Solas?_ "Actually, I was hoping I could stay up a bit longer.  I've never seen a sunrise in Thedas.  You can go back to bed, if you want," I added magnanimously. 

Solas smiled.  "I would enjoy watching the sunrise, myself.  I will keep watch with you, Herald."

"Amy," I whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Amy," I said quietly.  "I know that it is better to use Herald around others, so we can conceal who I really am, but I...I don't want to forget who I really am.  I don't want to just be a title."

Solas looked at me with pity.  _Damnit, I'm sick of seeing pity in everyone's eyes when they look at me._   "I understand.  An infamous title can be a heavy burden to bear.  When it is prudent to do so, I will refer to you by your name, Amy."

I thanked him, and then we sat together in companionable silence as we watched the sun rise.


	5. First Kill

We finally met with Mother Giselle, and she advised us to travel to Val Royeaux to speak with the Chantry.  I agreed that we would head there as soon as we were done speaking to Master Dennet, speaking with what I hoped was a sense of confidence and authority.  We had already dispatched yet another rift on our way to meet with her, and I was starting to feel like I might be able to do this Herald/Inquisitor thing after all.  I started to walk with a bit of a spring in my step.

Suddenly, we were attacked by a group of rogue mages.  Cassandra leapt into action, slicing away with her sword.  Varric and Solas started moving in sweeping arcs on the edge of the battle, firing spells and arrows.  I whipped out my bow, preparing to join them.  I nocked an arrow, drew back the string, and took aim.  I looked into the mage's eyes.  She was angry, hateful, and...terrified.  I hesitated.  I had never actually killed another human before.  I had gone hunting with my father and shot plenty of game, and the last few days had seen me kill demons left and right.  The moment slowed down and seemed to stretch on forever.  I lowered my bow.

The mage felt no such qualms at taking a life, and she flung a ball of flame at my chest.  I felt a barrier fly up around me just in time to take the brunt of the damage.  The force of the impact still knocked me backwards, and I scrambled to stand back up.  By the time I had managed that, the battle was over.  My companions were looting the bodies of the dead.

Cassandra paused in her macabre task to fix me with a glare.  "What was that?  You completely froze in the middle of the battle."

"I'm sorry...it's just...I've never killed someone before," I blurted.

Cassandra's glare softened a little, but she continued to sternly lecture me.  "We do not have the luxury of waiting for you to come to terms with killing.  You cannot be a dead weight in a group this small.  Not only were you not protecting us, but we were expending extra energy to protect you.  Next time, it might not be a group of inexperienced mages.  Next time, your hesitation might cause one of us serious injury, or even death."

By the end of her speech, I was trembling.  I wanted desperately to cry, but I remembered the promise I had made to myself last night.  I bit my lip and blinked rapidly.  Cassandra was right, of course.  I could not afford to be a pacifist in this world.  Besides, I had killed hundreds of these guys on the computer screen.  I would just have to think of them as fictional characters, that's all. 

"I'm sorry," I said.  "It won't happen again."

Satisfied, Cassandra finished looting the body, and we continued on our journey.  Sure enough, we shortly came across a group of templars who had been pursuing the mages.  The battle began, and I took up my place on the edge, drawing my bow.  _Just a character on a screen,_ I told myself as I loosed an arrow.  The arrow flew and landed with a sickening _thunk_ in a templar's throat.  He toppled backwards and lay gurgling on the ground.  My stomach twisted, but I continued firing arrows at the remaining templars.  Soon the battle was over, and we all moved to loot their bodies.

I approached the man I had shot in the throat.  He wasn't really a man...more of a boy, really.  _Just a character on a screen_.  Suddenly, he coughed, spewing red blood everywhere.  "Mama," he cried.

I fell to my knees and burst into tears as I shoved my fingers into his throat, trying to stop the bleeding.  "I'm sorry...so, so sorry...please forgive me!"  I sobbed, as I fumbled at my belt for a healing potion with my remaining hand.  I managed to get one free, and I was bringing it to my lips to remove the cork with my teeth when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, stopping my movement.  I looked up to see Solas quietly shaking his head.

"No, _da'len_...that will not help him.  Look...he is already gone."  I looked, and saw that Solas was right.  The templar was no longer breathing.  His eyes were staring off into nothing, and his face was frozen in an expression of fear.  I had killed him.  I had _murdered_ him.

"God forgive me," I whispered, as I reached out with a trembling hand to close those staring eyes.  "Rest in peace, boy.  Please forgive me."  Hiccupping slightly, I rose to my feet, desperately trying to regain control over my emotions.  "Shall we continue towards the farm?"  I asked, my voice sounding much more confident than I felt.

And so we continued.  We came across several groups of mages and templars, even a few groups of common bandits taking advantage of the chaos.  I shot arrow after arrow, killing again and again.  The initial shock had worn off, and by thinking of my victims as nameless characters in a game instead of real people, I was able to become a very efficient killer.  I could feel the wall of numbness I was building around my heart, brick by brick, kill by kill.  The mood of the group had shifted; we were more somber and serious.  Varric tried to lighten things up with a few jokes, but he soon gave up.

Cassandra tried her hand at engaging me.  "Earlier, I heard you asking a god to forgive you...do you worship the Maker?"

Solas whipped his head around to listen to our conversation.  It was almost comical how interested he was.  "Not at all...although I guess there are some similarities."  I started describing the beliefs of Christianity, which led me into a brief synopsis of Judaism and Islam.  Even Varric showed some interest when I started describing other religions, such as Hinduism and Buddhism. 

"Do you believe in this God of yours, or do you follow these other religions you describe?" Solas interrupted, eyes gleaming with curiosity. 

I hesitated, choosing my words carefully.  "I don't know, honestly.  My mother was very religious, and she raised all of us in the Catholic church.  Once I started studying other cultures and religions, I stopped being so sure that there was only one true God or one true religion.  After all, many other people around the world were just as fervent in their beliefs as my mother was.  Who was to say they were wrong and she was right?  I had certainly never seen any proof one way or the other.  So I accepted all religions as being equally valid, which is almost the same as saying none of them are.  But now...I mean, here I am.  I'm a little more willing to believe in a higher power after my experience.  I don't know who or what that higher power is, but I'm willing to say that it exists."

Cassandra could not quite disguise her snort of derision.  "In all those gods that you mentioned, is there not room for one more?  Why are you so quick to dismiss the Maker?"

"Of course there is room for one more...there is room for hundreds more.  Without proof, the Maker is just another god who might or might not exist.  And now, it is my turn to ask questions.  I feel like I already understand the basic theology of the Chantry, but I must confess, I am a bit confused by the religious beliefs of the Dwarves."  I looked at Varric hopefully.

"That makes two of us," he answered with a grin.  When I pouted with disappointment, he sighed and said, "Fine.  Dwarves basically venerate the Stone, since we are supposed to be her children, whatever that means.  There's also a lot of honoring of ancestors, particularly the Paragons, and most Dwarves believe that our ancestors speak to us through the Provings, which are almost always battles to the death.  There's also a very complicated caste system."

I nodded as he spoke.  "There are plenty of cultures on Earth who practice ancestor worship.  There are also several examples of trial by combat and caste systems, although I don't recall any that practiced all of them at once."  Turning to Solas, I struck up the conversation I had been dying to have but hadn't figured out how to start.  I would have to thank Cassandra later.  "Solas, elves believe in some kind of pantheon of gods, do they not?"

Solas grimaced.  "The majority of elves in Thedas, particularly the Dalish, ascribe to those beliefs, yes."

"But you do not?"  Cassandra prodded.

"I believe in cause and effect.  Wisdom as its own reward, and the inherent right of all free willed people to exist."

Grinning, I said, "Sounds like you would have been right at home in certain societies on Earth.  But tell me more about this pantheon.  I'm interested to see how it compares to the ones I know."

Solas acquiesced and began telling me about the various elven gods.  I started listing the parallels: Elgar'nan lined up with Zeus, Dagda, and Odin, Mythal matched with Hera and Freya, Andruil was kind of like Artemis, etc.  Finally Solas came to Fen'Harel.  "The Dread Wolf...He Who Hunts Alone...the god of Betrayal and the Lord of Tricksters."

"A Trickster?"  I asked eagerly.  "Like Puck or Loki or Hermes?  Ooooh, what tricks did he do?"

Solas seemed taken aback by my reaction, but he continued.  "Fen'Harel was the only one who could walk without fear among the pantheon and the Forgotten Ones, for both groups saw him as one of their own.  And so he tricked them and sealed the pantheon in the Heavens and the Forgotten Ones in the Abyss, so that they could never again walk among the People."

"Wait...that's it?  He didn't have any other tricks?  No pranks?  No great displays of wit or pithy comebacks?"  I asked, trying not to be too obvious about my goading. 

Solas raised an eyebrow.  "Locking away two warring factions of gods through deceit is an insufficient display of trickery and betrayal?"

"Well, I guess I can see the betrayal bit...but seriously?  The guy does one trick and he's suddenly the god of tricksters?"  I shook my head.  "I don't mean to insult your people's beliefs, but they must have been lacking in the mischief department.  Still...I suppose every religion needs a betrayer or villain of some kind.  Some reason everything went bad.  Why not a talking wolf or a jealous husband?"

This earned me a glare from Cassandra, but Varric and Solas burst into laughter.  "What I wouldn't pay to set you loose on the Grand Clerics for an hour," Varric chuckled, wiping his eyes.  Solas nodded his agreement, gasping for breath between bouts of laughter.

Soon, we had to cease our theological debate, as we had reached Master Dennet's farm.  He informed us of his conditions for sending horses to the Inquisition, and graciously provided us with horses for the party.  _At last!  I'm pretty sure my feet are about to fall off!_   As it was getting late, we decided to set up camp not too far from his farm.  Before we left, I found myself promising his daughter Seanna that I would race against her best times on a few courses she had made.

As we set up camp, Varric asked me to tell another story from my world.  "Hey, aren't you supposed to be a famous author?  Why aren't you the one telling stories?"  I teased.

Varric shrugged as he hammered in a tent stake.  "Honestly, it's nice to be on the receiving end of a story, for a change.  Also, your world and your stories are fascinating.  If I tweak them enough, I can publish a whole line of best sellers," he answered with a wink.

"Alright, then," I said as we gathered around the fire once more.  "How about a story with dwarfs?  This is called _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_...the Disney version."

I watched their faces as I told my tale and sang the accompanying songs.  I was trying to keep the stories as light and fluffy as I could at first.  I would hit them with the heavier material later, once they were hooked and we had built up a bit more rapport.  As I finished with a scene of Snow White and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset, I could tell that I had put them in a good mood.  Varric groused good-naturedly at the portrayal of "dwarfs" (not dwarves) as singing miners, but he smiled as he did.

Cassandra assigned watches once again.  This time, Solas took the first watch, then Varric, Cassandra, and myself.  Yawning, I bid my companions good-night, then slipped into the tent I shared with Cassandra.  I smiled as I heard Solas humming "Heigh-Ho" to himself as the rest of us slipped off to sleep.


	6. Nightmare

I drifted off to sleep, content in the thought that I was having some kind of effect on this world.   _Perhaps this won't be so difficult after all_ I thought as I slipped into the Fade.  Dreams were so different here.  I always knew I was dreaming, and I could remember everything perfectly when I woke up.  I hadn't tried controlling the dream yet, so I decided to try that out.

It started out fairly well.  I focused on my childhood bedroom, one of the most familiar places to me.  I closed my eyes and remembered it as well as I could.  When I cautiously opened my eyes, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was now in my bedroom.  I walked to the door and opened it.  There was the familiar hallway leading to the stairs.  I walked down the stairs and made my way to the front door.  I decided to get ambitious.  I closed my eyes and concentrated again, opening the door before I opened my eyes.  When I looked out the door, I gasped in awe.  There in front of me was the Great Hall at Hogwarts.

I moved through the empty room in awe.  Four long tables stretched out in front of me, just as I had always envisioned them, save for the lack of teenage wizards.  I closed my eyes and concentrated again.  I was on a tropical island, waves lapping gently at the shore.  This time I made an effort to keep my eyes open as I concentrated.  The scene in front of me swirled, and I was at a medieval joust.  A burst of joyful laughter escaped my lips.  Dreaming was awesome!  No wonder Solas spent so much time in the Fade.  Who would want to leave?  I hopped from dream to dream, exploring places I had seen and places I could only have dreamed.  Sometimes I lingered, sometimes I left after a few seconds.

Suddenly, the scene around me swirled again.  I felt my stomach drop.  I hadn't changed the scene, which meant that someone (or something) else had.  As the new scene solidified, I felt my heart join my stomach.  There in front of me were the several dozen men and women I had killed earlier that day.  I hadn't realized there were so many.  They shambled towards me, a vengeful horde of zombies.  I turned and ran as fast as I could, screaming with fear.

My escape was cut off by my mother.  For an instant, I was relieved to see her, thinking she would help protect me.  That instant was short-lived.  "How could you?" she shrieked.  "My precious daughter...a murderer.  Do you not care about your immortal soul?  You will burn in Hell for all of eternity for what you have done.   _Thou shalt not kill_ , Amy.  God was very clear about that.  Now you will never be reunited with your family, not even in death.  You are lost to us forever.  How could you?"

I tried to apologize, but by then the angry horde of my victims had caught up to me.  They fell upon me, howling with rage and cursing me.  "I left two young sons behind."  "I had a sweetheart...she wonders when I will return to her."  "My mother weeps for me, she knows her baby is dead."  "Who are you to decide who lives and who dies?"  The victims clamored for my attention, berating me as they beat my cowering body.

"Help!" I cried as I curled into a fetal position, trying as hard as I could to avoid the worst of the blows.  "Please, someone, help me!"

I heard a thundering growl behind me.  The vengeful dead scattered in fear, and as I turned my head to look, I could see why.  There was Solas in his wolf form, huge and snarling at my tormentors.  He slashed at them with gleaming teeth, his motions blurred with speed.  After the last of them had dissipated, he turned towards me, nuzzling me to see if I was injured.

I pushed myself up.  "Thank you, Mr. Wolf.  I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been here."

Satisfied that I was alright, Solas glared at me in disapproval.  I flushed with embarrassment, and stared at my feet.  "I suppose I attracted them with my hopping from dream to dream, didn't I?"

The wolf gazed at me evenly.  Having a conversation was proving to be difficult.  "Can you talk here?  I mean you obviously understand me...blink once for yes, twice for no."

Solas continued to stare at me, not blinking at all.  I fidgeted, growing more uncomfortable by the minute.  "I didn't mean to offend you, Mr. Wolf.  It's just hard to carry on a one-sided conversation.  I just wanted to talk to you.  You've obviously been watching over me, both in the Fade and the real world.  You're one of the few friends I have here."

The wolf considered my words, and then slowly, deliberately blinked once.  I felt myself break into a grin.  "Once for yes...you can talk!  I knew it!  So...do you have a name, or should I just keep calling you Mr. Wolf?"

If the wolf had had eyebrows, I'm pretty sure he would have been raising one sardonically.  As it was, he answered, "Mr. Wolf will do.  If you call me by that name in the Fade, I will answer if I am able."

As he spoke, I felt my jaw drop in shock.  If I hadn't know that this was actually Solas in disguise, I would never have guessed.  His voice sounded so different coming from the wolf; it was much lower and had a gravelly undertone that he lacked in his human form.  Recovering, I answered, "My name is Amy.  I'm not actually from this world, so I'm a bit inexperienced when it comes to the Fade."

He snorted.  "I know.  You practically shouted 'Demon feast here.'  You must be more cautious in the future."

"Would you be willing to teach me?" I asked.  

The wolf nodded his acquiescence, then snarkily said, "Here's your first lesson: Don't blindly trust some random talking wolf who shows up in your dream.  How do you know I'm not a demon?"

I blinked in surprise.  How _did_ I know this wasn't a demon?  "Well...you came to me in the real world.  Can demons do that here?"

He nodded.  "Oh," I said in a small voice, feeling incredibly stupid and naive.  "Well...I guess I trust you because you feel...nice.  I don't know how to say it, except that you are one of the few things in this world that I feel comfortable around.  My gut says to trust you."

Solas blinked at me, probably in disbelief that anyone could be so stupid and still be alive.  Finally, he sighed in resignation and said, "In any case, you seem to have a great deal of natural talent for dreaming, even if your methods are unrefined.  Have you always been able to control your dreams?"

I shook my head no, and started to explain how different dreaming was in my world.  That led to him asking me questions about my world, especially the lack of magic or fantastical creatures despite having large amounts of lore.   _Why doesn't he want to reveal himself?_  I wondered.  I was happy to maintain the deception for now, as it gave me another angle to work with.

I decided to interrupt him.  "Hey, do you speak Elvhen?"

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.  "I do...why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if you could translate a phrase for me...I know someone who I would like to thank, and I think he would appreciate it if I thanked him in Elvhen.  I don't have much else to give in gratitude," I finished lamely.

There was a brief flash of teeth as he suppressed a wolfish grin.  "What phrase would you like to translate?"

"Thank you for helping me."

" _Ma serannas sul ma halani."_

I practiced the short phrase a few times until he was satisfied with my pronunciation.  Suddenly, a thought occurred to me.  "Hey...you didn't just teach me a dirty saying, did you?  Because that would not be funny."

That earned me another snort.  "No,  _da'len_ , I did not teach you a 'dirty saying,' as you so eloquently put it.  The translation is accurate."

"Well, what does that word mean?   _Da'len?_ I've been called that before...by the friend I mentioned."

"The literal translation is 'little child,' but it can also be used to refer to a student," he answered.  "A teacher might be referred to as  _hahren,_ which can also be translated to 'elder.'"

I already knew that, but I was aiming for something else.  I let my face fall as I said, "He thinks of me as a child?  Oh."  I added some nervous lip-chewing and hair-fiddling for dramatic effect.   _Mom was right...I would have made a great actress._

Solas decided to break the awkward silence.  "You are having difficulty coming to terms with killing others," he said gently, completely changing the subject.

"Yes, I am," I agreed.  I shrugged my shoulders.  "It's not something I ever thought I would have to do.  War and murder and bad people exist in my world, but I lived a life far removed from all that stuff.  The closest I ever got to it was hearing about it on TV.  I didn't think I was capable of such violence, and it's not very pleasant to learn that not only am I capable of it, I'm pretty good at it.  And the worst part is that I didn't mind at all when it was all just a game to me.  What if nothing was ever 'just a game?'  What if every first-person-shooter I've ever played was real somewhere?  What if I've been killing thousands and thousands of real people, with real lives and real loved ones?"  I shuddered in disgust.  "Either way, I'm not going to stop now.  It's kill or be killed in this world, and I can't just think about myself anymore, right?  Not when the entire world is at stake."

The wolf looked at me sympathetically, then continued with his gently probing questions.  "You are also having difficulty accepting your new body.  You appear as a human in the Fade, and the Mark is no longer on your hand."

I glanced down at my hand and was genuinely surprised to see that he was right.  I hadn't noticed it before, but I was in my old body.  "I never thought I was very elf-like anyway.  I was always more of a hobbit kind of girl," I quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

"What is a hobbit?" Solas asked, looking puzzled.

I opened my mouth to answer, but before I got a chance, I was woken up by Cassandra.  It was my turn to keep watch.  Grumbling at the disturbance to my sleep and the loss of the dream, I rolled out of my bed roll and threw on my armor.  Stumbling out of the tent into the early morning air helped wake me up, and I moved to stir the fire.  Huddling by the slowly dying flames, I couldn't help but stare at the tent Solas was sharing with Varric.  I wondered if he was still sleeping, or if he had woken up when I left the Fade.  

As if he had heard my thoughts, he poked his head out of the tent flap, smiling as he saw me crouched by the fire.  "I wanted to make sure you didn't wander off during your watch again," he said lightly as he joined me.

I grinned and said, "Not today, at least.  I'm glad for the company, though."  I cleared my throat.  "I've been meaning to thank you for saving my life and taking care of me over and over again this past week.   _Ma serannas sul ma halani."_ I said the words as carefully as I could, searching his face for a reaction.

To his credit, he did  _try_ to act surprised.  It wasn't his fault I could tell he was faking it, and honestly, if I hadn't been studying him so closely with prior knowledge, I would have been completely fooled.  " _Sathem lasa halani, da'len_.  I did not know you spoke Elvhen."

I blushed and cringed at the " _da'len,"_ which caused his eyes to crinkle deliciously, but I answered, "Honestly, I don't speak it.  I only learned that one phrase.  What did you say back to me, if you don't mind my asking?"

He smiled slightly and said, "I said: 'I was pleased to help you, little one.'"  He started to chuckle at my resulting scowl.  "You object to my phrasing?"

"I just don't like being called a child, especially not...It just doesn't feel right," I waved my hands around awkwardly, trying to convey my meaning.

Solas smiled indulgently.  "It was not meant as an insult.  It is a word that can be interchanged with 'student,' and it is used in situations where one person is teaching another.  Still, if it bothers you, I will refrain from using it... _Amy_."

I blushed some more from his deliberate use of my name, a pleased smile spreading across my face.  We settled into a companionable silence as we waited for the sun to rise.  I began to unbraid and brush my hair as we waited.  As I finished removing the last of the tangles and started to rebraid my hair, Solas remarked, "You do not wear your hair like you did before."

"That's because I don't know how.  I have no idea how this girl got that elaborate style done all by herself.  A simple braid is the pinnacle of my hair-styling abilities."

"You might consider wrapping it around your head, or tucking it into your armor.  If an enemy gets close enough, they could grab your hair and use it to injure you."

I tilted my head to look at him as I tied a leather cord around the end of my braid.  "Is that why you are bald?  I've been wondering if it is natural or if you did it intentionally."

Solas frowned and said, "It is merely an enjoyable side benefit.  I choose to remove my hair because it is easier for me to maintain a solitary lifestyle."

"Well, it's a good thing you have a nice-shaped head.  It's a good look for you, really.  Not many men could pull it off."

He smirked, trying to hide his pleasure at my compliment.  Soon enough, it was time to wake the others and continue on our quest.  Before we got started, I took my new horse to meet Seanna, as I had promised her a race.  As she set up the goal posts, I got up on the horse.  He was a mild-mannered gelding, and thus far he had only shown interest in grazing and grazing some more.  I didn't have very much confidence in his racing abilities.  Still, I nudged him towards the first goal post, and he obliged.  When Seanna gave the signal to begin, I flicked the reins and nudged with my knees, as she had shown me.  I almost flew off the back of the horse as he shot forward like a bullet from a gun.  Fortunately, I managed to stay on and direct him towards the next goal post.  Somehow, we finished the course with time to spare.  Seanna moved to set up the second course.

Cassandra, Solas, and Varric approached me as I waited.  "I did not think he had so much speed in him," Cassandra commented.  "You ride very well."

"Thanks," I grinned.  "Got any riding advice for me?"

Cassandra showed me how to crouch in the saddle for maximum speed and smoothness.  Solas started adjusting the saddle and bridle.  Varric just laughed and said, "Don't look at me!  I bet on horse races, I don't participate in them."

Seanna indicated that the new course was ready, and away we flew.  Cassandra's tips made a world of difference, and I began to concentrate on moving  _with_ the horse, not struggling against him.  Again, we finished the course with time to spare.  My horse wasn't even breathing heavily.  "What's his name?" I asked Seanna as she set up the final course.

"Basil," she answered with a grin.  "But you can call him whatever you like, Herald."

"Basil," I repeated softly, patting his neck.  "I like it."

Finally, we began to run the final course.  I was feeling very confident by this time.  I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the experience, relishing in the thrill of speed.  As we neared the final stretch of the course, I dropped the reins, stretched out my arms, threw back my head and whooped for joy.  Basil managed to finish the course, and as we came to a halt in front of the group, I opened my eyes to grin down at them.

Seanna and Varric returned my joyful grin, Cassandra wavered between admiration and concern, but Solas stared at me with fascination and a hint of desire.  By the time I dismounted and turned back to the group, he had schooled his features back into a pleasant but neutral expression.  Even so, I had butterflies in my stomach, and they weren't all from riding Basil.  Seanna complimented me on my riding and gave us a few trinkets as a reward.  We thanked her and moved on, deciding to tackle the group of wolves that were acting strangely first.

We found the pack of wolves easily enough.  Dispatching them was a little more challenging, especially considering the fact that they were being influenced by a demon.   _"How do you know I'm not a demon?"_  Solas' question rang uncomfortably in my head.  I was having a little trouble adjusting to the dangers of this world.  I pondered how to rectify that as we sealed two more rifts that afternoon.  Varric noticed my melancholy and started to crack jokes to try to cheer me up.  "So here we are, elf, cleaning up another human mess."

I whipped my head around, thinking he was talking to me, but I saw he was actually talking to Solas.  Solas smirked and said, "What would the Inquisition do without our stabilizing influence, Master Tethras?"

"I assume they'd just start burning things," Varric said, winking at me.

"That does sound like most humans I know," Solas agreed.

Cassandra archly replied, "If you gentlemen are quite finished?"

"Now, now, don't get touchy.  We're just here to lend you simple humans our help," said Varric.

"Before you cause everything to explode," interjected Solas.

"Again," Varric added.

I threw my head back and laughed, a good, deep belly laugh.  It felt wonderful to laugh like that, and I reveled in the simple joy of camaraderie.  Our group had started to fall into a sort of comfortable routine.  Our fights were becoming more coordinated, and we were starting to anticipate each other's moves.  We set up camp in the same spot that night, lightening our work load.  Soon we were all pleasantly chatting around a roasting nug.  Varric started nudging me for a story.

"Alright," I laughed.  "Let's see...last night I told a story for you, Varric.  I think tonight, I will tell one for Cassandra.  This is the story of Mulan, a woman who defied society's expectations and went on to be a great warrior who saved her country..."

Disney movies were really a great source for stories.  The initial struggles were always overcome by the time the happy ending rolled around, the humor was simple enough to translate into this world, and the songs were catchy.  The moral of the story could sometimes be a bit heavy-handed, but my companions seemed to enjoy them nonetheless.  Indeed, Cassandra thanked me for the story when I finished, wiping her eyes as she did.

I volunteered to take the first watch that night.  Solas piped up and volunteered for the second watch.  Cassandra took the third watch, leaving Varric with the fourth.  I bid my companions good night as they all went into their tents, then settled myself by the fire.


	7. Sound of Silence

I stared into the fire, my thoughts swirling.  It was a delicate balancing act I was trying to pull off.  There was so much tragedy I was trying to avoid, but if I changed too much I might alter events so much I would no longer have any foresight.  I could make things so much worse...after all, Corypheus was defeated and the world was safe at the end of the game.   _It's official...I'm crazy_ , I thought for the hundredth time of the week.

I decided to sing quietly to myself.

 _Hello darkness, my old friend_  
_I've come to talk with you again_  
_Because a vision softly creeping_  
_Left its seeds while I was sleeping_  
_And the vision that was planted in my brain_  
_Still remains_  
_Within the sound of silence_

 _In restless dreams I walked alone_  
_Narrow streets of cobblestone_  
_'Neath the halo of a street lamp_  
_I turned my collar to the cold and damp_  
_When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light_  
_That split the night_  
_And touched the sound of silence_

 _And in the naked light I saw_  
_Ten thousand people, maybe more_  
_People talking without speaking_  
_People hearing without listening_  
_People writing songs that voices never share_  
_And no one dared_  
_Disturb the sound of silence_

 _"Fools" said I_  
_"You do not know, silence like a cancer grows_  
_Hear my words that I might teach you_  
_Take my arms that I might reach you"_  
_But my words like silent raindrops fell_  
_And echoed_  
_In the wells of silence_

 _And the people bowed and prayed_  
_To the neon god they made_  
_And the sign flashed out its warning_  
_In the words that it was forming_  
_And the signs said_  
_"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls_  
_And tenement halls_  
_And whisper'd in the sounds of silence_

"What a beautiful song," Solas said, startling me and making me jump a foot in the air.  He smiled and held up his hands apologetically.  " _Ir abelas_ , I did not mean to startle you."

"I'm going to guess that means 'I'm sorry,'" I said, trying to regain some of my lost dignity.  "What are you doing awake?  Your watch doesn't start for a while."

His ears turned an adorable shade of pink, but that may have been from the warmth of the fire.  "I have enjoyed speaking with you these last two evenings."

I smiled.  "I have been enjoying our talks too.  I enjoy your company.  When you aren't scaring ten years off my life," I added.

I sat back down in front of the fire, and he joined me.  "Do you think this world exists because someone on Earth dreamed it up, or do you think the story exists in my world because someone there once came to Thedas?" I mused.  It was something I had been wondering, and I was interested to get his perspective.

His forehead wrinkled as he considered my question.  "That is an interesting question.  I do not know the answer, but I am inclined to say that this world would exist whether or not there was a story about it in your world.  I must admit to a fair amount of bias on my part.  I do not like to think that the events that shaped the history of this world were due to anything other than free will."

A new idea popped into my head.  "Does the name Gareth David-Lloyd mean anything to you?  What about Patrick Weekes?"

Solas gave me a curious, wary look.  "No.  Should they?"

"Well, Gareth David-Lloyd is the name of the voice actor who played your character in my world.  He's done some other stuff too...mainly I know him from this show called _Torchwood_ , which is a spin-off of another show called _Doctor Who_."  Solas was looking more and more confused, so I decided to abandon that particular rabbit hole.  "Patrick Weekes was the main writer for your character.  Your voice sounds the same as I remember, and you've been saying certain words and phrases from the game.  Everyone has been, really.  Not constantly, just every now and then."

"That is both fascinating and disturbing," Solas said, frowning.  "Are you saying that forthcoming events might be pre-ordained because they were written that way?  That we are set on a course and we cannot turn from it?"

"No," I said, a little too quickly.  "I mean, that's one of the big appeals of the games.  You get to make choices that shape the world and change the fates of so many people.  In fact, the Herald isn't even always even an elf.  I could have chosen to be a human, dwarf, or Qunari if I wanted.  I could have been male, too.  Maybe the big events are harder to change or prevent, but I would say that's true of any world."

Solas blinked at me.  "You could have been a Qunari?"

"Well, I guess I would have technically been a Tal-Vashoth, or at least my parents would have been."

"And yet you chose to be an elf.  Why?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, considering my answer.  "I didn't see much point in playing as a human.  I was a human in reality, I wanted something different for my fantasy.  Of the remaining choices, elf was the...prettiest."  I ducked my head to hide my blush.  "Besides, I've always loved the legends and stories with elves in them."

"Yes.  I've noticed your world has an incredible amount of lore concerning magic and magical races, especially considering that magic does not exist there."  _Asking the same question he did as a wolf.  He must really be curious about that lack of magic thing._

I nodded, "I wonder if we used to have magic at one point.  What if we used to have elves but they died out, or were killed, or interbred with humans?  What if we had dragons or unicorns at one point?  I mean, if dinosaurs and wooly mammoths went extinct, why not centaurs or phoenixes?"

Solas raised his eyebrows.  "I must confess, I do not recognize all of those creatures.  And it is an interesting theory...if your world did have magic, how was it lost?  Was it taken away, or did it just evaporate on its own?"

I shrugged.  "Maybe it was just edged out by science and technology and people stopped using it.  Maybe magic is one of those 'use it or lose it' things, and if no one uses it for long enough, it goes away.  Maybe my world is just connected to a bunch of other worlds that do have magic, and it's just one big repository for stories.  Maybe, maybe, maybe...we'll probably never know."

A corner of his mouth twitched, and he demurred, "Indeed."

"Besides," I continued, "this isn't the worst place to be stuck.  I can think of dozens of worlds or stories that would be much, much worse.  I mean, I kind of wish I could be a member of Starfleet or a Jedi or a student at Hogwarts, but at least I'm not a Tribute from District 12 or fighting time-travelling robots.  I'm sure I'll get a chance to tell you all of those stories," I added hastily as I saw a cloud of confusion pass over Solas' face.

"I look forward to hearing them," he said, smiling.  "Your world is fascinating."

"I was planning on choosing a story for you tomorrow night.  Do you have any particular requests or interests?"

He was silent for a moment as he considered my question.  When he finally answered, his expression was carefully neutral and his tone light.  "I would like a story about slaves attaining their freedom."

I grinned and said, "I have plenty of those.  I'll pick one out for tomorrow."

I stirred the dying fire and added some more fuel.  The night was growing colder.  I scooted closer to Solas, for warmth and other reasons.  Even though our sides were barely touching, I felt an electric thrill run through me.  To distract myself from my fluttering heart, I said, "Tell me some more stories about your adventures in the Fade."

Solas happily obliged, and we spent the rest of our watches huddled by the fire while he spun tale after tale.  Finally, he stood, stretching and yawning.  "Come, Amy.  It is time for Cassandra to start her watch, and we both need some sleep before tomorrow."

When I laid down in my bed roll a few minutes later, I fell asleep almost instantly.  I felt myself slip into the Fade, and soon I found myself in a familiar place.  I was in a tree stand with my father, clutching my old bow in my hand.  _This is my first kill,_ I realized.  That would mean that I was twelve in this memory.  My breath puffed in front of me in the cool early morning air.

I looked at my dad, sipping on his beer while he scanned the trail we were watching in the pale moonlight.  He glanced at me, smiled, and grabbed me a can of coke.  It would be several years before he would hand me a beer.  I accepted the familiar red can silently, just as I had in reality.

I didn't see any sign of Solas, in either of his forms.  Softly, I called out, "Mr. Wolf?  Are you there?"

"Hello, _falon_."

I nearly jumped out of my skin; he had appeared right next to me.  I muttered a few curses under my breath.  "That's the second time that's happened tonight!"

He huffed in amusement, then glanced around my dream, taking it in.  "Are we hunting?" he asked with interest.

"Yes," I answered.  "This is my father.  He used to take us hunting; he particularly enjoyed bow hunting.  It was something I loved.  I was a bit of a daddy's girl.  This is my first kill."

As I spoke, a doe and her fawn came into view.  My father stretched out his arm in a silent command, indicating that I should let them go.  The wolf's head tilted in curiosity.  "You are going to let them go?"

I stared at him in mock disbelief.  "That is a mother and her baby.  Only a monster shoots Bambi.  No, we wait for the bucks."

After a few more silent moments, the buck appeared.  He was an eight-pointer, and he was slowly picking his way down the trail.  Silently, I raised my bow, nocked and aimed an arrow, and let it fly.  It sailed home, lodging right in the buck's heart.  I felt myself break into the same exhilarated grin that had spread over my face all those years ago.  My father looked at me with pride in his eyes and complimented me on such a clean first kill.  He started to climb down the tree stand to prepare the deer for transport.  Concentrating, I blinked and made my father and the deer disappear, leaving me and the wolf alone in the tree stand.

"What does ' _falon_ ' mean?" I asked.

"Friend," he answered.  "Do you find that acceptable?"

I nodded.  "I like it.  Actually, scratch that, I love it." 

I started to fiddle with my bow.  It was a compound bow, something I missed in Thedas; the lighter draw, in particular.  "I wonder if I could get one of these made in Haven," I mused.

Solas inspected the bow with interest.  "I would imagine it would be possible, although it would require a great deal of effort."

"I figured," I said, popping the top of the coke can that had been resting at my feet.  I sipped it, curious if I would be able to replicate food and drink in the Fade.  I was pleasantly surprised to taste the familiar liquid, sighing in relief and delight.

"Would you like to try some?" I asked.  Solas was staring at the can in my hand, apparently mesmerized by the pull-tab.  He nodded, and I conjured up a shallow bowl.  I bent over to pour a few sips worth of coke for him.  He cautiously sniffed it, then extended his tongue for a taste.  I nearly fell off the tree stand laughing at his disgusted expression.

"You do not care for soda?" I snorted.

Shuddering and gagging, he testily said, "That is perhaps the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted.  What is it?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, I said, "Well, nobody really _knows_ what it's made from, as the recipe is a secret, but it's mostly carbonated water, sugar, and caffeine.  It's immensely popular in my world."

The wolf gave me a dubious look.  "If you say so."

I laughed again.  "It is a bit of an acquired taste for some people.  Perhaps it will grow on you."

He sniffed indignantly.  "That would require me to try it a second time.  That will not be happening."

Chuckling, I decided to change the subject.  "What are you?  Are you a spirit?  A sentient wolf?  A person?"

Tilting his head, he lightly replied, "Is a person only a person because they are flesh and blood?  Are you defined by your pointed ears and not your boldness?  Your vallaslin and not your inquisitive nature?"

"Fair point," I conceded.  "I will rephrase my question: What is the nature of your existence?  I have seen you take a corporeal form in the waking world.  If you are a spirit, are you possessing the body of a wolf, or is that just a chosen manifestation?  If that's the case, why a wolf?"

Solas looked away from me.  Cautiously, he said, "I do not wish to answer the questions pertaining to my nature, at least, not yet.  However...I will tell you that I choose to be a wolf because they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts."

Nodding, I said, "I will not push you for answers.  And I agree that wolves are beautiful, impressive creatures.  I've always been a dog person, anyway, and wolves are pretty much the first dogs, aren't they?"  _I didn't even know wolves could look offended._

"Wolves are _not_ dogs," he replied testily.  "I am not some domesticated house-pet."

"No, my friend, you are not," I said quickly, trying to smooth things over.  "I wonder what animal I would be if I could choose...probably something with wings.  Or something fast."

Looking slightly mollified, Solas settled next to me as we started to debate the merits and shortcomings of various animals.  I started to absentmindedly run my fingers through his fur, causing his eyes to close in satisfaction.  We stayed like that in the tree stand until it was time to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sound of Silence lyrics by Paul Simon


	8. Dust in the Wind

I made the executive decision to spend a few more days in the Hinterlands before returning to Haven.  We sent a raven back asking for soldiers to come build watchtowers, and then spent the day clearing out pockets of templars, mages, and bandits.  Along the way, we came across several people who needed our help.  I remembered most of them from the game, and I found that I really enjoyed helping out with the "smaller" problems of the common people.

We encountered the Widow Maura, whose husband had been murdered by templars.  I saw Solas' mouth twist downward as she described how they had stolen his wedding ring from his corpse.  I promised to return it if I could.  As we left her cabin, Cassandra pulled me aside.  "Herald, I appreciate what you are doing, but we cannot help every person we come across.  The world is at stake; do we really have time to go hunting down a lost ring?  It will not bring her husband back."

There was truth to her words, though it pained me to admit it.  "I don't plan on helping _every_ person we come across, Cassandra, I know that I cannot fix the world all by myself.  But it doesn't cost us much to help this woman.  We are already hunting down templars in the area, it won't be much more effort to keep an eye out for an old Dalish promise ring.  It won't bring her husband back, but it will give her a sense of justice and peace. Besides," I added, "as a wise man once said in my world, we must be the change we wish to see in the world.  And I, for one, want to live in a world where people help one another."

Cassandra nodded her assent, and we continued on our way.  I stole a glance at Solas out of the corner of my eye.  His grimace had been replaced by a pensive smile, and he stared into the distance as we rode on, lost in his thoughts.  Suddenly, he seemed to sense my surreptitious staring, and he turned towards me.  I blushed and turned my own gaze towards the terrain.  _Apparently, my awkwardness has carried over to this world_.

We came across several people at the Crossroads who needed assistance.  I agreed to hunt for food, blankets, medicine, and other supplies.  One refugee asked us to find his son, Hyndel, who had joined a cult somewhere in the hills nearby.  "I can't believe people are actually worshiping a rift," I groused.  I may have been a little sore about the issue, as we had closed two more only that day.

Varric snorted.  "You'd be surprised what people can convince themselves to believe."

"I just hope they don't try to kill us for sealing it," I said.  "The demons are bad enough."

We rode closer to the fort that housed the cult.  I decided that even though we had a good hour of daylight left, we should make camp and tackle the cult in the morning.  Nobody protested.  Soon, we had all taken our places around the fire.  "Tonight's story," I began, "actually comes from religious texts in my world.  It takes place in a land called Egypt.  Life in Egypt centered around a great river, called the Nile.  The land around the Nile was fertile, but surrounding it was a great desert.  Egypt was ruled by kings called 'pharaohs,' and they were so powerful that people began to believe they were gods."

I glanced at Solas to gauge his reaction.  His forehead was furrowed, but he looked interested.  I continued, "When these pharaohs died, they would be buried in elaborate tombs, their bodies preserved, with great treasures surrounding them.  According to the story, a tribe of people called the Hebrews were enslaved by the Egyptians.  The version I am going to tell you is called _The Prince of Egypt._   It begins after the Pharaoh has ordered all the Hebrew male babies to be killed, to control the population..."

I had chosen this version because of the songs, and I soon knew I had made the right choice.  Cassandra started crying as soon as Moses' mother sang her last lullaby while she released him into the river.  Even Varric's eyes were glistening.  I told of how Moses had grown to adulthood as an Egyptian prince, of his closeness with his brother Ramses II.  I told how he had rescued Tzipporah and discovered the truth of his birth, and the events that led to him fleeing into the desert.

" _No life can escape being blown about_  
_By the winds of change and chance,_  
_And though you never know all the steps,_  
_You must learn to join the dance_."

I sang, as I described how Moses had joined the Midian tribe and eventually fallen in love with and married Tzipporah.  When I described the burning bush, and the fire that miraculously did not consume it, Solas interrupted.  "That sounds like veilfire!" he exclaimed.

Cassandra and Varric groaned at the interruption of the story.  I laughed at his enthusiasm, and said, "You may be right.  However, it does not have much bearing on the story.  What matters are the words God said to Moses."

I continued the story, describing how Moses returned to Egypt and demanded the release of the slaves.  I described how Ramses had refused, and then I sang of the plagues that had been sent.  I tried to focus on the conflicted emotions Moses felt as he watched his former home be destroyed and the pain he was causing his brother.  I figured it made a nice parallel to Solas having to lock the Forgotten Ones and the Elven Gods away, even though he was friendly with both groups.

 _"Once I called you brother,_  
_Once I thought the chance to make you laugh_  
_Was all I ever wanted_.

 _And even now I wish that God_  
_had chose another._  
_Serving as your foe on his behalf_  
_Is the last thing that I wanted_."

Finally, I reached the tenth plague: the killing of the firstborns of Egypt, the first Passover.  I described how the Angel of Death swept through the land, passing over the houses marked with lamb's blood, and how a great cry rose up "as had never been heard before."  My companions looked sickened and shocked, but they still seemed invested in the story, so I decided to continue.  I described how Pharaoh finally relented and allowed the Hebrews to leave.  I tried to capture the jubilation of a people recently freed from slavery, singing "When You Believe."

 _"Many nights we've prayed,_  
_With no proof anyone could hear._  
_In our hearts a hopeful song_  
_We barely understood._  
_Now we are not afraid,_  
_Although we know there's much to fear._  
_We were moving mountains_  
_Long before we knew we could_.

 _There can be miracles_  
_When you believe._  
_Though hope is frail,_  
_It's hard to kill._  
_Who knows what miracles_  
_You can achieve._  
_When you believe,_  
_Somehow you will._  
_You will when you believe_."

I wrapped up the rest of the story with the pursuit of the Egyptians and the parting of the Red Sea.  "And that's where the story ends," I said.  "If I stop here, it will have a happy ending."  Cassandra dabbed her eyes, Varric made a noise suspiciously like a sniffle, and Solas' eyes were suspiciously shiny.  _I shouldn't feel this happy about making my friends cry,_ I thought wryly, with a small amount of pride.

"I cannot believe that your god would kill the firstborn children of an entire nation," Cassandra said, with a frown.

"Hey, we're about to go take on a cult of Andrastians who are convinced that _your_ god is ripping rifts open left and right to cleanse the world.  You don't get to criticize other religions."  I tried to keep my tone light and joking, but I felt some consternation slip through.  Fortunately, she didn't pursue the debate.

Once again, Solas managed to wrangle the watches so that his was next to mine, although tonight he would take first while I took second.  Once Varric and Cassandra went to bed, he turned to me and said, "What happened after the end of the story?  What happened to Moses and the Hebrews?"  There was the faintest tremble to his voice, as he tried and failed to hide his enthusiasm for the story.

"According to the religious texts, they managed to piss off God a few times.  They complained that they were starving to death in the desert, and that they would have been better off remaining slaves, as they had at least been fed in Egypt.  God doomed them to wander the desert for forty years, and Moses never made it to the Promised Land, although the younger generation did.  There were a few good years once they finally made it there, but then they were conquered again.  And again.  Honestly, slavery was not the worst thing to happen to that particular group by a long shot.  My world has some pretty nasty stuff in its history, and this story supposedly happened thousands of years ago.  That's plenty of time for things to go wrong."

His shoulders drooped in disappointment, but his voice was neutral when he said, "I see.  I had hoped that on at least one world, such a story would have a happy ending."

"No such thing when people are involved," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.  "Just a series of failures, dusting ourselves off, and trying again.  And so it will go, until the end of the world.  Not such a bad fate, in my opinion, as long as people keep trying to do better."

Solas grimaced at my words.  "Are you really content with that?  Failure after failure?  Pain, suffering, death?  Would you not fix the world, if you had the chance?"

"There is also beauty, joy, friendship, and love," I said.  "Life is messy and chaotic and imperfect.  There will always be a struggle; it is up to us to make it worth our while.  Find the rainbow after the storm and all that."

Solas mused to himself as he stared into the fire.  "I envy your optimism and enthusiasm," he finally said.

"Well, someone has to be your foil," I quipped.  "You keep being grim and fatalistic, I'll be naive and cheerful, and we are sure to save the world."

He finally cracked a smile.  "Forgive my melancholy.  I have seen so many wondrous things that have been destroyed and lost forever.  In my journeys in the Fade," he tacked on quickly.  _Seriously, how does everyone fall for that line over and over again?_   "Arlathan was not perfect by any means, yet still it pains me to see how far our people have fallen."

"Our people?" I retorted.  "You know I'm not _really_ an elf, right?  I just look like one on the outside."

Solas blinked in surprise.  _He really did forget_ , I realized.  "Ah...of course.  _Ir abelas_ , Amy.  I meant no offense."

I smiled.  "None taken.  In fact, I will take it as a compliment.  But Solas," I said, "you realize that it is the nature of things to pass out of existence.  Nothing lasts forever; no matter how mighty an empire is, someday it will fall.  Even the most wondrous creation or the longest-living creature...all of these things will pass away.  That is how it should be...the old world falls away to make room for a new one."

He made a non-committal grunting noise and returned his gaze to the fire.  I ground my teeth in frustration.  I wasn't getting through to him.  I knew I wouldn't be able to change his mind with a single conversation, but I had hoped for _something_.  I joined him in gazing silently at the fire, gathering my thoughts.  Eventually, inspiration finally came, and I started to sing softly.

 _I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone._  
_All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity._  
_Dust in the wind...all they are is dust in the wind._

 _Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea._  
_All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see._  
_Dust in the wind...all we are is dust in the wind._

 _Now don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky._  
_It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy._  
_Dust in the wind...all we are is dust in the wind._

I let the last note linger for a moment, then glanced over at Solas.  I nearly fell over; he was staring at me so intently that it seemed as though he was peering at my very soul.  For a moment, I wondered if he actually could see inside me, and I panicked.  _He knows!  Get it together, Amy, that's impossible._   I managed to pull it together and return his gaze as steadily as I could.  "Are you sure you're not an elf?" he finally said with the ghost of a grin, breaking the intensity of the moment.

I chuckled, hoping I sounded nonchalant and not insane.  "Pretty sure...my ears were as round as they come.  Not even a hint of a point."

I made a bid to switch the conversation to something lighter and less likely to spark a debate.  "So...Thedas has two moons.  That's new for me."

I could see him relax as he gratefully accepted the new subject.  "Yes.  That one is Luna," he said, pointing, "and that one is Satina.  How many moons does Earth have?"

"Just the one.  Ours is named Luna too.  Interesting.  The tides here must be super intense...it's a wonder you have any coastal cities at all."

And so we continued for the rest of the evening, neither of us quite willing to brush up against the deeper emotions we had stumbled upon.  When we finally went to sleep, I found that while my dreams were pleasant, I dreamed alone.  I was surprised to find that I was relieved.  I needed time to collect my thoughts and figure out exactly what I was feeling, and I suspected that Solas had the same need. 

 _Ok, reality check: am I actually falling in love with him, or am I just "star-struck?"  Will these wonderful, terrifying feelings fade?  What if I can't change his heart enough and he leaves me?  What if I find a way home and I leave him?  This is ridiculous...one or both of us is just going to end up with a broken heart.  You should end this now,_ I told myself firmly.

Yet even as I thought it, I knew that I was already hopelessly in love with him.  When I woke up the next morning, I did not feel like I had rested at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went with Prince of Egypt over the traditional Exodus story because I feel like the characters are a little more fleshed out. Plus, it has a super catchy soundtrack.
> 
> Prince of Egypt lyrics - Stephen Schwartz  
> Dust in the Wind (Kansas) - Kerry Livgren


	9. In a Galaxy Far, Far Away

We sealed the rift inside the fort with relative ease.  My hand still hurt each time I used it to seal a rift, but not as sharply as before.  I was quickly getting used to the pain, though I couldn't keep myself from wincing.  I hoped my companions didn't notice.  A few sharp words to the cultists later, we had another agent for the Inquisition.

As we continued wandering around the Hinterlands, Solas mentioned that there were some Elven artifacts nearby that would help us measure and strengthen the Veil.  I eagerly agreed to help him seek them out, partially to try to smooth out any remaining awkwardness and partially because I wanted to witness the showdown between Solas and Mihris.  Sure enough, our little group came across her as we approached the cave with the artifact.  I plastered my best friendly, innocent grin over my face as I greeted her and listened to her story.   _Wow.  She is even less convincing in person than she was in the game._  I watched Solas out of the corner of my eye as Mihris spoke.  An increasingly-familiar crease was forming between his eyes.  " _Ma harel, da'len_ ," he finally said.

Whatever " _Ma harel_ " meant, it seemed to shake Mihris to her core.  She recovered quickly, and we were off searching for the artifact.  We found it after an hour or so of searching, as Solas claimed to be able to sense its presence and gently guided the group towards the location.  He motioned me forward, saying, "Try using the mark to activate it, Herald."  

Biting my lip in concentration, I raised my hand and waved it around towards the artifact.  Nothing happened.  I glanced at Solas for guidance.  He gave me a gentle smile and said, "Concentrate.  Imagine the energy of the Mark flowing from you to the artifact."  I did as he suggested, and was surprised to hear the crackle of an activated artifact.  I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, a triumphant grin breaking out over my face.

I turned to look at the rest of the group, and I noticed that Mihris had taken advantage of our preoccupation to rummage around in the surrounding rubble.  She was surreptitiously tucking something away when my gaze fell on her, and a flicker of guilt flew across her face before she replaced it with an expression of smug indifference.  She tried to weasel away with the artifact she had found, but Solas sharply said, " _Ma halani.  Ma glandival.  Vir Enasalin._ "  Mihris blanched and handed over the amulet without any argument.  She couldn't leave the cave fast enough.

Varric was giving Solas a shrewd look.  "What did you say to her?" he asked.  I turned towards Solas, eager to hear his answer.

"I merely reminded her that we had rendered her assistance, and that she owed us a debt for our services.  It is fortunate for us that she agreed."

I tried to keep a neutral expression, but I couldn't quite manage to suppress an amused smirk.  We soon made our way out of the cave, continuing our efforts to clean up the Hinterlands.  Finally, the sun sank low enough in the sky that we could justify making camp.  I groaned with relief as I slid out of Basil's saddle.  Riding for hours and hours each day was starting to wear on me.  Fortunately, we were camped near a river.  I told Cassandra where I was going, then traipsed off towards the blissfully cool running water.  I set down my bow and quiver, then peeled off my armor and clothes until I was in my underwear.  A quick sniff-test told me that I could put off washing my clothes for another day, so I left them on the bank as I sank into the cool water, sighing as it soothed my aching ass and legs.  The river was not deep; it only reached my knees when I was standing.  Still, I decided to undo my braid and dunk my head under the water.  I hadn't brought any soap with me, but hopefully the running water would wash away most of the sweat and grime.

A polite clearing of a throat startled me out of my reverie.  Turning wildly, I saw Solas standing on the riverbank, looking incredibly awkward and slightly embarrassed.  I let out an undignified shriek of surprise and embarrassment as I scrambled to my feet and dove for my clothes.  I clutched them to my chest and turned to face him.  We stared at one another for a long moment in shocked silence, and I felt my entire body flush as I dropped my gaze and muttered, "Could you...could you turn around please?"

 "Of course," he said quickly, tearing his eyes away as he obliged.  "Please forgive me, I did not expect to find you bathing."

I struggled into my clothes, yanking them over my wet skin.  "It's alright.  I wasn't really bathing; I just wanted to do something about my butt.  I'm not used to riding a horse," I hurried to explain as my face turned bright red.  "You can turn back around now," I said.

He coughed awkwardly as he turned back towards me.  "Yes, I would imagine that most Dalish are unaccustomed to riding horses or using human saddles.  I can make an ointment that should help until your body adjusts."

"Thank you...I mean,  _ma serannas_.  That would be very nice."   _Very nice?  Can you get any more awkward, Amy?_  "So, what are you doing at the river?" I asked, trying to fill the awkward silence. _  
_

"I was hoping to gather some blood lotus.  My personal store is running low, and it tends to grow near shallow water."

"Would you like some help?" I asked, reluctant to leave him despite the embarrassment of the whole situation.

Solas smiled and handed me one of the two empty bags I suddenly noticed he was carrying.  "Help would be most appreciated, especially since we do not have much daylight left."  Even as he spoke, the sun began sinking below the horizon.  He showed me how to properly harvest the purplish-red plant, warning me that it could cause hallucinations if I was exposed to too much of it.  We worked together in silence for a while as the world around us grew darker.

"You did an excellent job with that elven woman earlier today," I finally said, breaking the silence.  "Very masterfully handled."

The compliment earned me a snort.  "There wasn't much to 'handle,' she was a woefully inept liar and very easily intimidated."

"You called her  _da'len_ ," I said, trying to keep the tinge of jealousy I felt from showing.

"Ah.  Yes.  In that particular context,  _da'len_ was meant to be patronizing, perhaps even insulting.  Elvhen is a very complicated language, heavily dependent on context and tone, and words can have multiple meanings." _  
_

I smiled.  "I know.  Anyway, it's pretty dark now.  Should we head back to camp?"

Solas agreed, and we made our way back to the others.  Varric raised his eyes at our return, but said nothing.  I was sure that he was drawing plenty of conclusions from my still-damp clothes and loose hair, as well as the blush I couldn't keep from creeping up my neck.  I fetched my comb from my pack and started brushing my hair while I waited for dinner to cook.  There were several knots to work out, but I managed to tuck it into an orderly braid after several minutes.

"What is tonight's story?" Cassandra asked eagerly.

"Tonight's story is actually just the first part of a much larger story.  It will probably take me three nights to tell it.  It begins a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."

And so I regaled my companions with the plot to  _A New Hope_.  They were riveted as I spun a tale of Jedi, lightsabers, droids, dashing smugglers, brave princesses, and a Death Star.  They gasped in horror at the destruction of Alderaan, laughed when Han told C-3PO to "let the Wookie win," cried when Obi-Wan sacrificed himself, and cheered when Luke blew up the Death Star.  When I finished, Varric said "That was amazing!  I can't wait to hear the next part tomorrow night!  I'm going to have to use some of those lines in my next book."

I laughed, pleased with his reaction.  I tried to answer him, but my words were interrupted by an enormous jaw-cracking yawn.  "Perhaps I should take first watch," Cassandra said.  I readily agreed.  "Wake me up when it's my turn," I said with another yawn as I turned towards my tent.  I was asleep as soon as I crawled into my bedroll.

Glancing around, I saw that I was in my hometown's ice cream shop, one of my favorite hangouts.  My best friend Geoff was sitting across from me, looking incredibly nervous and not touching his hot fudge brownie sundae.  I instantly knew what day this was; I was fourteen in this memory.   _This is when he comes out to me_ , I remembered, my heart tightening a little as I was flooded by a rush of emotions.  I had been so proud of him for doing something that I knew had been difficult for him, especially in our small town.  I had been glad that he had chosen me as the first person he had trusted.  I had also been slightly saddened that my crush on him would be unrequited, although the revelation was hardly a surprise.  Geoff and I had known each other since we were in kindergarten, and we had been inseparable until we left for different colleges.  Even then, we had kept in touch and made sure to visit with each other whenever we got the chance.  Other than my family, he was the person I was missing the most.

I listened as he stumbled over the words he struggled desperately to say, eyes glued to the table.  "Amy...you are my best friend in the entire world.  You are the sister I never had.  I have something I have to tell you.  I'm...I'm gay."  He kept his voice low, not wanting to be overheard, but I could still make out the tremble in his voice.  Wordlessly, I reached across the table and grabbed his fidgeting hands with my own.  He raised his gaze to mine, relief washing over his features as he saw that I was smiling.  The first time this had happened, there hadn't been tears in my eyes, but I could not keep them from coursing down my cheeks as I clasped his hands and told him, "I love you, Geoff.  Thank you for telling me.  Although...I kind of feel like I already knew, if that makes sense."  I stood up and walked around to hug him, clinging a little tighter than I had in reality.  "We should eat our ice cream before it melts," I joked, and he laughed through the tears that had formed in his eyes.

"He was special to you," said a voice behind me, startling me.

"Oh, there you are Mr. Wolf," I said, recovering.  "I'm glad you came to see me tonight.  Yes...this is my best friend, Geoffrey, although everyone just calls him Geoff.  We grew up together.  This was the day he trusted me with something very important."  I paused, swallowing back the lump in my throat.  "I miss him terribly."

"What are you eating?" Solas asked, sniffing my peanut butter sundae curiously.

"Ice cream," I said with a grin.  "Would you like to try some?  It is one of my favorite foods."  With that, I scooped up a bite, making sure to get a bit of all the good stuff, and held it out to him.  He cautiously extended his tongue for a taste, then his eyes widened and his tail began to wag as he eagerly snarfed the entire bite off the spoon.  I laughed, and said, "Would you like me to get you your own bowl?"

He nodded eagerly.  "Yes, please.  It is delicious!"  I led him up to the counter and showed him the menu.  "Order whatever you want.  It's my dream, my treat."

He selected chocolate ice cream with raspberry syrup.  I placed his order, but a thought occurred to me as we waited to be served.  "Are dogs, er, wolves able to eat chocolate in the Fade without any negative consequences?  I would hate to hurt you."

Solas answered, "This will not harm me, Amy.  You have no need to worry for my sake."

He watched in fascination as the ice cream was served.  Grinning, I decided to pay with a credit card, even though it was my dream and I could make the ice cream free if I wanted to.  Solas tilted his head as I handed my card over to be swiped.  "I assume that was some sort of financial transaction?" he asked as we returned to the table.

I launched into an explanation of credit cards, banks, and Earth money while he devoured his bowl of ice cream.  "Slow down," I chided.  "You don't want to get brain freeze...although I guess it's my dream, so I can just make it so that ice cream doesn't give you brain freeze any more."

Solas was licking the sides of the bowl clean by this point.  "This is amazing!  You know, the ancient elves had some frozen dishes too, but nothing quite like this."

Laughing, I replied, "It's one of the things I miss the most from home.  Well, in addition to peanut butter, Chinese food, indoor plumbing, electricity, toilet paper, deodorant, toothpaste, modern medicine, air conditioning...alright, I miss almost everything."

He looked at me with sympathy.  "Your world does seem to be a marvelous place.  And I know that you left many people behind," he said, looking at the memory of Geoff.

"But Thedas has wonderful things too.  Real magic!  I never in my life thought I would see that.  And dragons," my voice turned wistful.  "I would love to see a real live dragon.  It must be a wonderful sight.  Besides," I added, "there are plenty of wonderful people here.  People I would be proud to call my friends."

Solas snorted.  "You may not hold the same opinion of dragons once you encounter one.  But I am glad that you are finding things to enjoy in your new world."

"So, speaking of new things to enjoy in this world, I was wondering," I said hesitantly, trying to keep my hands from fidgeting, "would you be willing to teach me some more Elvhen?"

He happily agreed, and so we spent the next couple of hours expanding my vocabulary.  I was having a difficult time grasping the grammar, or rather, the lack thereof.  After a while, he said, "I'm going to have to leave, soon," he said, "but I will return tomorrow night.  I would like to show you some of the marvels I have found in the Fade that used to exist in this world.  Would you like to accompany me?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed eagerly.  "I love learning about this place!"

His tail twitched, and he stood and inclined his head towards me.  "Then I shall see you tomorrow night, Amy."

"It's a date," I blurted out before I could stop myself, blushing slightly.  He turned and walked away from me, so I sighed and turned back to the memory of Geoff.  He was still eating his ice cream, exactly as he had been when I had stopped paying attention to him.  I decided to linger and enjoy a few more moments with my best friend.  I quickly lost track of time, and before I knew it, Cassandra was gently shaking me awake.

Blinking, I noticed that the sun had already risen.  "You guys didn't wake me for my watch," I said in surprise.

Cassandra gave me a sheepish smile.  "Solas had the watch before yours.  He said that you needed the rest and that he was fine with staying up for an extra watch."

"Oh.  Well, I won't deny that it was nice to sleep in, but I want to make sure I'm pulling my weight," I said as I pulled my belongings together.

"Don't worry, kid.  You're pulling more than your fair share," Varric called through the tent flap.   _Right...tents don't block sound too well_. _  
_

We spent the day riding around the Hinterlands, finding supplies and helping citizens.  After leading a particularly slow druffalo back to his owner, I declared that we were done for the day.  We set up camp fairly quickly, each of us growing more familiar with the necessary tasks.  I was admittedly waddling through my portion of the duties, my butt and thighs feeling like they were on fire.  "So how about the rest of that story?" Varric asked as I collapsed in front of the fire.

"Of course," I grinned.  "We begin three years after the Death Star was destroyed.  The Rebels are on a planet called Hoth..."  The plot to  _The Empire Strikes Back_ was even more popular, as it turned out.  Yoda and Boba Fett quickly became favorite characters.  Solas shook his head in disapproval when Luke disregarded Yoda's advice.  Cassandra gasped when I described how Han Solo was trapped in carbonite after Leia confessed her love.  My favorite reactions came during the "big reveal" that Darth Vader was actually Luke's father.

"No way!" shouted Varric.  "That is the best plot twist ever!  I am DEFINITELY going to have to use that one!"

I wrapped up the plot, smirking to myself as Cassandra groused, "You can't stop there!  What happens next?"

"Patience, Seeker.  I will finish the tale tomorrow night," I promised.  "And now, I must insist that I take the first watch, so I can make sure that I don't sleep through it again."

"I will take the second watch," Solas volunteered quickly.

Varric gave him a suspicious look, but kept quiet as he and Cassandra retired to their tents.  "You're going to need to skip your watch soon, if you keep taking two each night," I said.  I was very glad to share this time with him, but sleeping through the entire night had reminded me how necessary sleep was.

Solas smiled and said, "I know some techniques for getting the most rest out of my time in the Fade.  But do not worry, if I begin to feel fatigue, I will take the necessary rest."

"That's alright then.  As long as you aren't falling over in the saddle," I joked.

That seemed to remind him of something.  He started digging in his pack, taking out several herbs I had seen him gathering over the last few days.  He crushed them and started mixing them with a bowl of fat drippings from our dinner that night.  "This ointment should help relieve the pain you are feeling.  Just rub it on the affected areas and cover it with a clean dry cloth."

I thanked him and accepted the small bowl of ointment.  I was tempted for half a moment to start applying it right then and there, but my rational mind prevailed.  Instead, we began discussing the story I had told that night.  Solas seemed bothered by the "simplistic" nature of the Force, arguing that it couldn't be as simple as a Light Side vs. a Dark Side.  "Surely, there are shades of gray, so to speak.  I would imagine that most Jedi would not so easily turn to the Dark Side without there being some sort of gradual decline between the two."

"I agree," I said.  "In fact, I would argue that the Light Side is perhaps not all it's cracked up to be.  Sure, it's the noble and selfless one, but there's also a focus on purging oneself of 'distracting' emotions.  I think that emotions can be our greatest asset.  Love is the strongest force in the universe."

Solas looked to see if I was joking.  "You truly believe that, don't you?" he said with a touch of awe.

Now I felt like an idiot child, but I shrugged and said "Of course I do.  And I don't just mean romantic love.  Friendship, loyalty, love of country, even self-love...all are capable of becoming an unstoppable force.  Stronger than hate, fear, greed, or despair.  Love is a strength, not a weakness."

He hummed to himself as he considered my words.  "I will admit that I am perhaps too jaded by the things I have seen to agree with you, but I am glad that you are not.  It is nice to know there is still innocence within you, though I fear this world will quickly strip it away."

"Perhaps I'll rub off on you," I joked.  An uncomfortable silence settled between us.  _Right, that's what he's trying to avoid._

I cleared my throat and turned the conversation to safer topics.  I asked him about famous battles and historical ruins, blatantly buttering him up.  He probably noticed my not-so-subtle methods, but he didn't seem to mind.  In fact, he seemed to be pleased.  We talked until it was time to wake Varric for his watch, reluctantly saying goodnight as we made our way to our tents.  I rubbed the ointment over my aching muscles and flopped into my bedroll, falling fast asleep. 

Solas was already waiting for me in the Fade.  I walked over and stroked his head between the ears in greeting, staring around in awe.  The air shimmered with rainbows of colors, and there were countless glowing lights floating all around us.  I could feel the crackle of energy on my skin.  "It's beautiful," I breathed.

Solas looked pleased, and said, "Come, Arlathan is this way."  He led us down a winding path that ended at the edge of a cliff.  I looked out over the edge of the cliff at a magnificent floating city made of crystal.  I gasped in delight as we stared at the marvel in silence.

"How does it stay up?" I finally asked.

"The short answer is magic," he answered.  "There are hundreds of spells keeping the city in place, all of them entwined with each other."

"How do we get there?" I asked, pretending I didn't know about eluvians.

"There are many ways to access the city," he answered, "but for now, I will simply will us there."  And in the blink of an eye, we were in the center of the city.  Everything glittered and elves glided about majestically around us.  They were all wearing airy, flowing robes that fluttered behind them gracefully as they moved.  Glancing down, I saw that I was wearing such a robe myself.  I ran my fingers over the fabric; it was like wearing a cloud.  Holding my arms out, I took a few experimental twirls, laughing with delight as the robe fanned out around me.  "It's beautiful.  Thank you, Mr. Wolf," I said.

He dipped his head in acknowledgement of my gratitude, then said, "Follow me.  There is much I wish to show you."  He led me to a large banquet hall where I sampled exquisite foods I had never heard of before, then to a garden blooming with flowers I had never seen or smelled.  I delighted in each new experience, trying to take everything in all at once, yet trying to savor each individual moment.  Eventually, we found ourselves in a large ballroom filled with graceful, twirling couples moving in elaborate dances.  The music was being played on instruments I couldn't recognize, but it was making the very air pulse, ebbing and flowing around the dancers as they moved.  I couldn't help but sway along with the rhythm, tapping my feet in time to the music.  Suddenly, one of the dancers broke away from the crowd and came up to me, silently offering me his hand.

I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't even hesitate to extend my own hand to his grasp.  He tugged me into the swirling mass of dancers, leading me with a graceful strength.  I let myself relax and be lead along through the intricate steps, twirling this way and that.  It was exhilarating, although it was completely out of character for me.  My silent partner stared blankly ahead as we moved together, but I didn't mind as I was too busy trying to catch glimpses of my surroundings between spins.  All too soon, the music stopped playing and the moment was over.  My partner bowed gracefully to me before fading away.  Cheeks flushed, I turned to find Solas staring at me hungrily.  I'll admit, it was slightly disconcerting to see that look coming from a wolf.

"You are very graceful," he finally said.  "It is very enjoyable to watch you move."

My already pink cheeks turned bright red at the compliment, but I managed to thank him without causing myself too much embarrassment.  Glancing around, he said, "I believe you are about to leave me.  I will see you tomorrow night."

Sure enough, Cassandra was shaking me awake.  Yawning and stretching, I was pleased to notice that my soreness had been greatly diminished.  It appeared the ointment was working.  We quickly broke camp and rode out into the Hinterlands.  We made our way up to Redcliffe Village, trying to enter so that we could help the villagers.  I tried to act surprised when we were turned away.  We spent the rest of the day closing rifts and gathering supplies.  I decided that we would return to Haven in the morning.  "We can always return if they need more help," I said as I explained my reasoning to the group.  "As of now, the Hinterlands are relatively stable, and we have other pressing issues.  Let's rest for the day, and head back to Haven tomorrow."

Everyone agreed, and eventually we were all sitting around the fire while a ram roasted on a spit.  I concluded the story I had been telling for the past two nights, relishing in my companions' reactions.  I loved how Cassandra grinned at the romance between Han and Leia, how Varric chuckled at the banter between C-3PO and R2-D2, and how Solas looked pensive when Darth Vader redeemed himself at the very end.  Fortunately, they seemed satisfied by the ending of  _Return of the Jedi_ when I finally concluded the story.   _Perhaps someday I will tell them the prequels_ , I thought, suddenly sad that I would never know how this story continued.   _I'll clean them up a bit, first._  

I felt a pang of disappointment as I realized that we would not get to sit around a fire while I told a story for a while, as we would not have the opportunity to do so in Haven.  Pushing the thought aside, I decided that for now, I would focus on taking watch over the camp and enjoying Solas' company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Star Wars might be on my mind right now. For some reason. :)
> 
> Also, obligatory stumble-on-love-interest-bathing scene.


	10. The Emperor's New Clothes

When we returned to Haven, we were met by a cheering crowd.  News of our exploits in the Hinterlands had obviously arrived ahead of us, and the people approved.  I smiled and greeted people as we moved through the crowd, trying to learn the names and faces of the people I was going to be leading.  Eventually, a servant approached me and whispered that Leliana wanted to speak to me.  I nodded, finished my current round of small talk, and made my way over to her usual area.  As I approached, I heard her discussing a potential traitor with one of her agents.   _Time to break out all my "softening" charm_.

I greeted Leliana and asked how she was holding up.  I expressed sympathy over Justinia's death, then broached the subject of the traitor.  "Surely you don't have to kill him.  There must be other ways to deal with this situation."  She groused a little at my naivety, but eventually acquiesced.

"In any case, Herald, the reason I wished to meet with you is to inform you that we have received a letter from what we believe is your clan."  She handed me a roll of parchment, and I scanned over the letter.

_Clan Lavellan offers greetings to the Inquisition and wishes it well in sealing the Breach that has opened in the sky. While some Dalish clans hate humans and wish nothing to do with them, Clan Lavellan has always dealt fairly with all and wished only for peace. That said, we have on occasion been forced to defend ourselves from those who saw us only as potential victims._

_It has come to our attention that a member of our clan is being held captive by your Inquisition. She went to the Conclave only to observe the peace talks between your mages and templars, and we find it highly unlikely that she intentionally violated your customs. If she has been charged with a crime, we would appreciate hearing of it. If not, it would ease our concerns to hear from her to know that she remains with the Inquisition of her own will._

_We await your reply,_  
_Keeper Istimaethorial Lavellan_

"Clan Lavellan," I said when I finished reading.  "Leliana, please send some of your agents to the clan and inform them that I am here of my own free will.  While they are there, see if they can find out any information about who I used to be.  But make sure they do not come to Haven; I can't risk someone who used to know me figuring out that I'm not  _her_ anymore."

Leliana nodded.  "I can send some agents with an offering of something useful that the clan needs.  The Dalish respect actions more than words.  That should gain my agents enough access to do some digging."

I thanked her and was about to ask her about her adventures with the Hero of Ferelden when we were both distracted by a commotion in front of the Chantry.  Wordlessly, we both took off running towards the source of the shouting.  A group of templars and mages were arguing about the death of Justinia, and seconds away from coming to blows.  As I skidded to a halt, I saw Cullen masterfully defuse the situation, only to be met by the derision of Chancellor Roderick.   _Great, when did he get back?_ Sighing, Cullen dismissed the crowd and attempted to have a semi-private conversation with Roderick.

I listened while they bickered back and forth, not quite willing to interject with my opinion as a plan took hold in my mind.  Of course, that couldn't last long, and soon enough Cullen turned to me demanding an opinion.  "Both of you have made some excellent points," I began, to their surprise.  Obviously, both of them had expected me to side with Cullen.  I continued, "Chancellor Roderick, you are right that we are a fledgling operation.  And we would greatly benefit from Chantry guidance...which I am hoping you will be willing to give us.  However, Commander Cullen is also correct in that the old leadership is what lead us here in the first place.  Now, I do not pretend to be sent here by Andraste, but I am here.  For one reason or another, I am the leader you have...at least for now."

I paused, and saw that Chancellor Roderick was getting ready to launch into another venomous diatribe.  I decided to cut him off.  "Chancellor Roderick, will you do me the honor of accompanying me on a walk around Haven?" I asked as I linked my arm through his, not waiting for his reply before I tugged him along.  Cullen was left gaping after us on the Chantry steps as we strolled away. 

"Chancellor, do you still believe I killed the Divine?" I asked as we walked along one of the main pathways.  I kept my voice at a normal conversational level, striving to avoid whispering or speaking too loudly.  I wanted my words to be heard by others if they were curious enough to listen, but not project our conversation so much that it sounded false.

Roderick scowled.  "That is not for me to determine.  You should be brought to trial before the Chantry in order to determine your guilt or innocence."

I inclined my head in acknowledgement.  "Fair enough.  But let's say that you were in charge of my trial; how would you rule?"

His scowl deepened, but he paused before answering.  "I cannot say for certain, but..." he faltered under my steady gaze, "I suppose that I would lean towards 'not guilty.'"

I gave him a tight smile and patted the arm I had latched onto.  "Thank you, Chancellor Roderick.  That means a great deal to me.  It is not easy to be seen as a murderer.  If it means anything, I completely understand why you believed I killed the Divine.  Honestly, if I had been in your situation and someone like me had come through the Breach, I would have thought she was guilty too."

He said nothing, only huffed in annoyance.  After a few minutes of awkward and slightly hostile silence, I spoke again.  "I meant what I said, earlier.  Even though I am not an Andrastian, I can see and appreciate the merits of the Chantry.  I am hoping you will consider my request for guidance."

Chancellor Roderick pursed his lips and said, "What is your goal?  Are you trying to remove me as an obstacle?  Persuade me to stop my criticism of your actions?  It won't work."

"Hardly," I replied.  "In fact, just the opposite.  Do you know what happened to me when I woke up after stabilizing the Breach?"  He shook his head.  "I woke up in my cabin.  An elven servant came in and fell prostrate on the floor when she saw I was awake.  She was so...intimidated by me that she just collapsed because I happened to be awake when she entered the cabin.  She, and many others here, believe that I am the Herald of Andraste.  You and I know that I most certainly am not."

"Your humility is admirable," he remarked dryly, "but it won't stop the Inquisition from using the misconception when it suits them."

"I agree," I said, relishing in the faint look of surprise in his eyes.  "That is why I need someone like you beside me.  May I tell you a story?"  He nodded cautiously, and I began:

"Once, there was an emperor.  He was kind and generous, a most beloved ruler.  He was known for being a patron of talented artisans, and so one day, two men approached the palace claiming to be a master weaver and a master tailor.  The emperor asked them what made their work so special, and they told him that they could weave and sew a cloth that could not be seen by fools.  'Only wise men may see this magical fabric,' they claimed.

The emperor was intrigued, so he commissioned a suit to be made of this wondrous fabric.  After a week, he sent one of his advisers to check on the progress.  The adviser observed the weaver and tailor, but he could not see anything on the loom, nor could he see any fabric in the tailor's hands.  Yet, as he watched, the tailor passed his hands back and forth, as though he were weaving, and the tailor passed a needle up and down, as if he were stitching.  Not wanting to appear to be a fool, the adviser reported back to the emperor that the suit was coming along nicely, and indeed, it was a fine thing to behold.  Days passed, and the emperor sent another adviser to check on the progress.  Again, no cloth could be seen, but the adviser did not want to appear to be a fool, so he reported that the suit was nearing completion, and indeed, it was the most handsome suit he had ever seen.

Eventually, the time came for the emperor to try on the suit.  He went to the weaver and tailor, but he could not see a thing!  He had brought a crowd of advisers with him, and they all loudly praised the quality of the craftsmanship, none of them wanting to be exposed as a fool.  The emperor did not want to be seen as a fool either, so he took off his own clothes and allowed the tailor to move around him, fitting him into the invisible garment.  'Isn't it a fine suit?  As light as a spider's web,' said the tailor.  'You can barely feel it on your skin,' said the weaver.

The emperor agreed, not wanting to appear foolish, and turned this way and that for his advisers to admire.  It was decided that the emperor should wear his new suit in a procession through the city.  As he walked, the crowd ooohed and ahhhed, no one wanting to be taken for a fool by admitting that they could not see anything.  Finally, a child's voice piped over the crowd, saying, 'Why is the emperor naked?  He doesn't have any clothes on!'  It was the tiny trickle that burst the dam, and suddenly, the crowd erupted into laughter, pointing at and mocking the emperor.  'He is naked!' they cried.  'What a fool!  Even a child can see!'

The emperor had to make his way back to the palace in shame, and as for the weaver and tailor?  They were long gone with his gold."

I stopped walking, pulling Chancellor Roderick to a stop as well.  I turned and looked him straight in the eye.  "I am the emperor in this story.  You are the child.  You are the one who will criticize me openly when you disagree with what I am doing.  Everyone else will tell me I am wonderful and guided by Andraste herself; I need you to keep me humble.  I will not always agree with or follow your opinion, but I need to hear it.  I ask again, will you help guide me?"

He fixed me with a searching, peering gaze, as if he could scrutinize my intentions by scrutinizing my face.  "I do not trust you," he finally said.

"That's not an answer," I replied evenly.

He scowled, but finally, grudgingly agreed to make himself available to me for advice, should I seek it out.  I grinned at him, which only deepened his scowl.  I thanked him for the walk, saying, "I would enjoy doing this again sometime."  I somehow managed to suppress a giggle as he turned on his heel and stomped away from me, muttering curses under his breath.

We stayed in Haven for a couple of weeks as preparations were made for our journey to Val Royeaux.  I took full advantage of this time.  I spent each day walking around Haven, getting to know everyone I could.  I struck up conversations whenever possible.   _What is your name?  Where are you from?  What of your family?  How did you come to be here?_ I trained with the soldiers, kneaded dough with the bakers, tended to the sick in Adan's care, mucked out stalls, and played with the few children in the community.  I ate nearly every meal in the tavern, trying to sit with a different group of people each time.  For the most part, my efforts were appreciated, even if they were met with mild bemusement.  Sometimes, I could tell that my attempts at familiarity made someone uncomfortable.  In those cases, I strove to put the person in question at ease.  However, I reserved my true efforts for Chancellor Roderick.

I sought him out at least once every day, sometimes twice.  Each time I tried to engage him in small talk.  On some days, he was more willing to oblige than others.  On one particular visit, when I brought a slice of pie that I had baked myself, he asked me again, "Why are you doing this?  You cannot sway me, I will never agree with the Inquisition."

I gave him my most winsome smile, and said, "You remind me of my grandfather."  I was a little disturbed at how easily the lie came to me; neither of my beloved grandfathers would have stood for Roderick's rude behavior.  "You are gruff and snarly on the outside, but on the inside you are a good man who is standing up for what you know is right.  I enjoy your company...a small reminder of home, I guess."

The look of shock on his face was absolutely delicious, and he snarled, "I'm not your grandfather," in as venomous a tone he could manage.  He still accepted the pie, and I bit back a triumphant grin.   _I'll win you over yet, old man._

Gently, gradually, day by day, I led the conversation towards his youth and connection to Haven.  My efforts finally paid off when he finally mentioned the pilgrimages he had taken.  I didn't have to fake much of my curiosity when I pressed him for more details, and eventually he mentioned the old, forgotten trail he had used long ago.  

As soon as I could, I went to Leliana with the information.  "You will want to look into it," I said.  "But may I suggest keeping this information as secret as possible?  The day may come when we need an escape route that our enemies are not aware of."  Leliana agreed with my reasoning and promised she would send two of her most trusted agents to scout the trail.

That evening, as I made my way out of the tavern after dinner, I was surprised to see Solas fall into step with me on the way to my cabin.  "I must compliment you, Herald, on your masterful handling of Chancellor Roderick."

"I'm certain I don't know what you mean," I said coyly, winking at him.  I hadn't spent as much time with my companions as I would have liked in the past few days.  I had greeted them in passing, but I had been concentrating my efforts on the other inhabitants of Haven.

"I am referring, of course, to how you are turning him from an opponent to an ally," he said with a smirk.  "Your persistence is paying off.  Already, he has softened his criticism.  And your dedication to the people of the Inquisition has not escaped my notice, either."

"I'm just treating people how I'd like to be treated," I said, my cheeks tinging pink.   _Could I talk to him just once without blushing?  Is that too much to ask?_  

"You do not seem to realize how rare and special that is," he said sincerely.  "It gives me great hope for this Inquisition.  I...I have missed your company these past several days.  I know that it is late and you must be tired, but would you care to accompany me on a stroll?"

I smiled and agreed, happily taking the arm he offered.  He had been coming to me in my dreams in his wolf form, teaching me bits of Elvhen and showing me wonders he had found in the Fade.   _He must really like me if he misses me after spending every night with me,_ I thought giddily.  The snow crunched softly beneath our feet as we made our way out of Haven.  For a long while, neither of us spoke, both of us just enjoying the other's company.  We made our way to the edge of one of the many cliffs around Haven.  Finally, Solas pointed to the sky above us.  "You enjoy finding familiar constellations in your world, do you not?"

"I do," I answered.  "My father taught me most of them, and I would find them whenever the sky was clear enough.  I loved the stories that were paired with them, and I loved learning what different cultures had seen in the night sky."

"Would you like to learn some of the constellations of this sky?" he asked.

My stomach flip-flopped and filled with butterflies as I nodded and smiled.  Solas moved to stand behind me, grasping my right hand in his own as he extended our arms towards the sky.  My gaze followed where our fingers pointed as he picked out a group of stars.  "That is Visus," he said.  "The Watchful Eye.  It is the symbol of the Inquisition.  Legend has it that the star that forms the point of the sword did not appear until after Andraste's death.  And this," he said, turning our bodies slightly, "is Solium.  It forms a sun, the symbol of Elgar'nan, head of the Elvhen pantheon.  This one," he said, his voice rumbling pleasantly against my back, "is Fenrir.  It is a wolf, see the head and tail?  It was once associated with Fen'Harel."

"Wow," I whispered.  "They're beautiful.  Don't stop...keep going!"

Laughing softly, he obliged.  We stood there in the snow for hours as he pointed out star after star.  Some constellations were Orlesian, some were from Tevinter, and some were even from the Avvar people.  Most of them, however, were Elvhen.  I felt as if I could have stayed there forever, but my body betrayed me and I was unable to suppress a jaw-cracking yawn from escaping.

"It is late," Solas said reluctantly.  "I have kept you out longer than I intended.  We should return to Haven.  It is important that you rest."

I shared in his reluctance, but I agreed and we made our way back.  That night, when I slipped into the Fade, I sought out that spot on the cliff, filling the sky with the stars I had just learned that evening.  I smiled to myself as I picked out one constellation after another, remembering how pleasant it had been to be pressed back against Solas.  That was how he found me as he entered my dream in his wolf form.  "If it's alright with you, I would like to stay here tonight," I said as he approached.  "I understand if you don't want to remain in such an unremarkable location, please don't feel obligated to linger with me."

"I am happy to remain with you,  _falon_.  May I ask why you have chosen this location?"  He couldn't quite manage to keep the smugness out of his voice.

"I'm just trying to prolong a happy moment," I said.  "Come sit next to me, we can continue my lessons."

When I woke up the next morning, it was with a smile on my face.  I whistled as I made my way to the stables to make sure Basil was ready for the journey to Val Royeaux.  Soon, the entire party was loaded up and ready to depart.  The crowd that gathered to send us off was even larger and louder than last time, but I wasn't uncomfortable because now I knew these people.  They were my friends wishing me well on my journey, and I turned in the saddle to smile and wave at them as we rode out of sight.

"You're in a good mood, boss," Varric remarked.   _Guess I'm not "kid" anymore...probably for the best, since that's supposed to be Cole's nickname._

"There's nothing like the open road to boost one's spirits," I answered with a grin.  "How long to Val Royeaux?"

"Three weeks, if we're lucky," Cassandra answered.

I smiled to myself, looking forward to the stories I had picked out to tell them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue/text from BioWare.
> 
> The pointing out constellations scene is inspired by one of my favorite scenes in "A Beautiful Mind."
> 
> And Chancellor Roderick is a stubborn old geezer, but I'll win him over. :)


	11. No One Mourns the Wicked

The road to Val Royeaux was a pleasant change.  Little villages littered the road, most of them built around inns and markets that catered to travelers.  This meant we could sleep in real beds instead of on the ground in a tent.  Also, instead of constantly fighting, we found ourselves in relative peace.  True, there was still the odd bandit to be dealt with, but for the most part we found ourselves with ample time for conversation.  I insisted that my companions helped me to fill the silence, prying their own stories out of them.  At first, Varric was the only one who responded to my pointed questions, but soon Solas and Cassandra started to warm up and regale the group with stories they knew.  If I was lucky, my companions would share a story about their own lives, although those were few and far between.

For my part, I started out with some Greek mythology.  I described how Gaia came to be out of Chaos, along with Tartarus, Eros, Erebus, and Nyx.  I described how she gave birth to the Titans, Cyclopes, and various other monsters and gods.  I told of the patricide of Cronus and I described some of the more exciting exploits of the pantheon.  Eventually, I told the story of Eos, the goddess of the dawn.  "Eos fell in love with a handsome human prince, Tithonus, and asked Zeus to make him immortal.  He granted her request, but unfortunately she forgot to ask for eternal youth.  After they had spent many happy years together, he began to age.  His once handsome form shriveled and wrinkled; he grew weaker and weaker with each passing day.  Soon, he shriveled up so much that he became a grasshopper.  And so he spent the rest of his days, throughout eternity."

"What a depressing ending," remarked Cassandra.  "Could she not have realized her mistake and asked for eternal youth for her love?"

I laughed and said, "I don't think that's the point of the story.  It's probably supposed to serve as a warning.  Don't try to live forever or cheat death...it won't end well."

"And don't fall in love with a goddess if you're a mere mortal," quipped Varric.  I saw the corners of Solas' mouth tighten out of the corner of my eye.

"In any case, let me switch to a happier tale.  This was a very popular story in my world.  It is called  _The Wizard of Oz,_ and it begins on a small farm in a place called Kansas..."  As we rode along, I told my companions of a world with yellow brick roads, wicked witches, talking scarecrows, tin men, and cowardly lions.  I told them about the Emerald City, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, flying monkeys, and ruby slippers.  I sang about going over the rainbow and described how the wizard was really a fraud behind a curtain.  When I finally wrapped up the tale with Dorothy clicking her heels together and saying, "There's no place like home," my companions were smiling and we were much closer to our destination.

"A good story, although I find it highly unlikely that the Wicked Witch of the West could be defeated by a simple bucked of water," said Varric.  "How could she survive without ever touching water?"

"I'm more bothered by Glinda knowing how to send Dorothy home the entire time and not telling her how to do it," I said, "but I agree.  I'll admit, I only told you that story so that I could tell you another one tomorrow.  Tomorrow, I will tell you the story of the Wicked Witch of the West."

"What do you mean?" asked Cassandra, brows furrowed.

"Well, it's the story of her youth.  How she came to be known as 'wicked.'  You didn't think that was her name, did you?"

"I suppose not," she agreed.

"I look forward to this story," piped up Solas.  "It will be interesting to hear the villain's perspective."

"Well, I hope I can make it live up to the hype," I joked as we approached the village where we would be spending the night.  We split ourselves between two rooms, Cassandra and I taking one, Solas and Varric taking the other.  My belly was full of the dinner we had eaten in the tavern downstairs, the bed was soft and warm, and I was tired from traveling all day.  I quickly fell asleep and met Solas in the Fade.  He took me to a few battlefields and gave me another elvhen lesson, and soon enough it was morning.  After a quick, hearty breakfast, we were on our way.

"Alright," I said, once we were on the road and far enough away from others.  "This story is called  _Wicked_ , and it begins with a celebration after the death of the Wicked Witch of the West..."  I launched into the opening number, "No One Mourns the Wicked."

_No one mourns the wicked!_  
_No one cries: "They won't return!"  
_ _No one lays a lily on their grave._

_The good man scorns the wicked,_  
_Through their lives, our children learn_  
_What we miss when we misbehave._

_And goodness knows, the wicked's lives are lonely._  
_Goodness knows, the wicked die alone._  
_It just shows, when you're wicked, you're left only on your own._

I glanced over at Solas to gauge his reaction.  His face was a carefully blank mask.  I knew that I was touching on one of his deepest fears, dying alone.  I continued the story, singing my way through Elphaba's arrival at Shiz University and contentious beginnings with Galinda.  I described Elphaba's relationship with her sister, Nessarose, and I introduced my companions to Madame Morrible, Boq, and Fiyero.  I explained about the mistreatment of talking, sentient animals in Oz, and I told how Elphaba eventually became friends with Galinda.  When it came time to sing "I'm Not That Girl," I found myself pouring myself into the song far more than I expected.  The lyrics hit a little too close to home, and my heart gave a painful twang as I sang:

_Hands touch, eyes meet_  
_Sudden silence, sudden heat_  
_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_  
_He could be that boy,_  
_But I'm not that girl._

_Don't dream too far_  
_Don't lose sight of who you are_  
_Don't remember that rush of joy_  
_He could be that boy,_  
_I'm not that girl._

_Every so often we long to steal_  
_To the land of what-might-have-been,_  
_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_  
_When reality sets in_

I finished the last few verses, then paused to clear my throat and blink rapidly.  I knew that whatever was happening between Solas and I was almost certainly doomed, and that it would be better if it never truly began, but I couldn't help it.  I wanted a happy ending with him.  Shaking my head, I continued to tell the story.  I kicked myself back into high-gear as I wrapped up the first act with "Defying Gravity."  I paused to take a sip from my water-skin, glancing around the group as I did so.   _Tears glistening in their eyes, check!_  I capped my water-skin, took a deep breath, and continued the story.

I described how the ruby slippers came into being, and how Nessarose turned Boq into the Tin Man as she tried to force him to love her.  I told them how Elphaba went to confront the Wizard, and how he tried to sway her to his side.  

_A man's called a traitor, or liberator_  
A rich man's a thief, or philanthropist.  
_Is one a crusader or ruthless invader?_  
_It's all in which label is able to persist._

_There are precious few at ease_  
_With moral ambiguities,_  
_So we act as though they don't exist._

I noticed I got Solas to grin on that particular verse.  I continued describing how Elphaba and Fiyero eventually got together, knowing their time might be limited, but vowing to cherish every moment.  I told of Madame Morrible's betrayal and Nessarose's death.  When I got to the part where Fiyero allowed himself to be captured so that Elphaba could escape, I stole another glance at Solas.  He looked thoughtful as I sang about no good deed going unpunished.  Eventually, I made it to the end of the story, describing how Elphaba and Glinda reconciled and Elphaba faked her death to escape and start a life with Fiyero.  I slumped a little in the saddle, exhausted by my efforts.

"Which version was true?" asked Cassandra.  "Was she really a wicked witch, or was she just misunderstood?"

"I think both versions are equally true," I said laughing.  "As far as I know, they are both works of fiction.  Although, for all we know, Oz could easily be a real place.  I probably could have done well in Oz," I mused.

My answer earned me some chuckles from the group.  Solas cleared his throat and said, "If Oz is a real place, which version do you think the people there believe?  Do they know Elphaba was fighting for freedom and equality, or do they still think she is a villain?"

I tried to make my voice as kind as possible as I answered, "I think she would have been remembered as a villain.  However, I don't think she would care.  She got to go and live a happy life with her true love.  She left Oz in good hands.  Those were things she valued more than her good name."

He nodded his acceptance of my answer and replied, "I understand.  In any case, I must compliment your storytelling.  This was a remarkable story.  In fact, it was my favorite tale so far." 

Cassandra and Varric were quick to follow with their own compliments, which brought a tinge of pink to my cheeks.  Grinning, I said, "And now, I must ask one of you to entertain us for the rest of the day.  That story really took it out of me."  Varric happily stepped up to the task, regaling us all with a story from his adventures with Hawke.  I relaxed, happy to let his voice wash over me as I let myself get lost in my thoughts.  I mused over the situation with Solas.  I was still debating the merits of pursuing him.  On some days, I would convince myself that no good could come of it and I should drop the matter completely.  On other days, I wanted nothing more than to hear him call me his _vhenan_ and feel his skin on mine.  His constant presence as we traveled was the most exquisite torture.  By the time we made it to the inn, all I wanted to do was be alone so I could gather my thoughts.

I mentioned this idea as we all gathered downstairs for dinner.  "I'm going to take a stroll around the village.  I need to burn off a little excess energy and enjoy some solitude."

"Absolutely not," frowned Cassandra.  "It is far too dangerous for you to go wandering alone."

"I will accompany you," Solas volunteered quickly.  Varric smirked, but said nothing.

"Thank you, but it's not necessary," I said.  The point of this was to get  _away_ from Solas for a few minutes.  "I am perfectly capable of walking around the village by myself.  The odds of an assassin waiting around for me to be alone are very slim."

Cassandra set her mouth in a stubborn line.  "Herald, I'm afraid I must insist.  You are far too important for us to lose.  I do not think you should leave the inn at all, but if you must take a walk, I must insist that you take an escort."

I glanced at Solas.  I couldn't see a way out of this that didn't hurt him in some way, so I agreed.  "Very well.  Let's finish our dinner and then go to the market."

We walked in silence as we made our way down to the market in the golden glow of the evening sun peeking through the clouds.  Solas walked close by my side, so close that every now and then our hands would brush against each other.  Neither of us made any move to grab the other's hand, although each time we made contact caused a pleasant tingling sensation.  I watched as vendors began to shutter their stalls and pack away their wares and the crowds began to slowly thin.  The village was small, and we quickly found ourselves at the open fields that surrounded it.  Solas paused and looked at me questioningly.  I gave him a small smile as I continued to walk straight through the fields.

"Cassandra will probably worry soon," he said as he followed me.

"Let her worry.  I backpacked through Europe last summer all by myself.  I can handle a medieval village," I answered, with just a hint of snark.

We continued walking for a while as the sun sank below the horizon.  The clouds had begun to gather and darken, and a raindrop soon spattered on my nose, yanking me out of my private musings.  "We should turn back," Solas said gently.

"I love walking in the rain," I answered.  "You may turn back if you wish.  I wouldn't force you to stay out in the rain."

He grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.  "I'm sorry," he said kindly.  "I must insist that we turn back.  Cassandra worries too much, it is true, but she is correct that you are far too important to risk.  A storm is coming, and we need to return to the town to find shelter."

I glared up at his frustratingly compassionate expression for a few seconds before I dropped my gaze and sighed in defeat.  "You are right.  I'm sorry, we'll turn back."  We made it back to the market when the steady downpour of rain suddenly became a deluge.  The sky opened up and the rain began pelting down in great, stinging strings.  I yelped as Solas yanked me by the waist under an awning outside a shop.

"Perhaps we will simply wait out the storm here," he said, his arm still wrapped around my waist.

"Yes, that makes sense," I agreed.  "Thank you for accompanying me.  I'm sorry I almost got you drowned."

"I enjoy your company," he said, turning to face me.  "Time spent with you is never a burden."

I felt myself blushing all the way down to my toes.  His arm was still firmly around my waist.  I had the strongest urge to just grab him and kiss him, but I managed to reign myself in.  Instead, I swept my gaze over his face, studying and memorizing his features.  He cleared his throat and stepped back, ending the moment.

"So, you like stories where the 'other side' gets told," I said, trying to fill the incredibly awkward silence.

He smiled and said, "Yes, I do.  I enjoy stories with shades of gray, so to speak.  'Moral ambiguities,' I believe the phrase was."

I returned his smile with one of my own.  "Well, those kinds of stories are pretty popular on my world.  I'll try to think of some more to tell you."

The rain pelted down around us as we huddled under the awning.  I could see the Breach glimmering faintly in the distance.  "So...the Breach and the other rifts are tears in the Veil?" I asked.

"Yes," Solas answered cautiously.

"So...is the Veil something physical?  Is it in the sky?  If you were to fly high enough, would you pop through the other side?  And what is it made of?" I asked.

He pursed his lips as he considered his answer.  "The Veil is not physical...at least, not in the sense that you mean.  It is everywhere, separating the physical world and the Fade.  Think of it as a very strong magical barrier."

"So is it like a dome over Thedas, or does it circle the planet?  Has anyone tried flying as high as they can to see how far it stretches?"

"To my knowledge, it is found all over our world.  No one has flown high enough, or delved deep enough, to escape the Veil.  It permeates everything."

I gazed up at the sky.  The moons were still visible through the downpour.  "What about your moons?  Has anyone ever tried to go there and see if the Veil is present?"

Solas gave me an incredulous stare.  "No.  Have people traveled to your moon?" he asked in wonder.

"Oh, yes.  Several times, in fact.  You know, I used to want to be an astronaut.  We haven't done much beyond landing on the moon and orbiting the planet, but I think that we would have made it to the next planet over within my lifetime."

He looked slightly awestruck.  "Landing on the moon?  Remarkable.  May I ask why you decided not to be one of these astronauts?"

I laughed.  "Mostly because I am pretty bad at math and I didn't want to go through the incredibly rigorous physical training.  Also, I fell in love with anthropology.  There are so many different cultures on Earth, both present and past.  It is so fascinating to me to see how many different beliefs and lifestyles there are to find, yet at the end of the day, there is so much more that we all have in common."

We chatted for a few more minutes as the rain poured down.  Finally, it lightened enough for us to make our way back to the inn.  Cassandra was pacing nervously in front of the fire while Varric sipped on a mug of ale.  "I told you they were just waiting out the storm, Seeker," he said as we came in.

"I should never have allowed you to go wandering around," she snapped at me, relief and anger washing simultaneously over her features.  "There is too much at stake; too much that can go wrong.  From now on, you stick with the group."

I rolled my eyes.  "Cass, you're being ridiculous.  I was perfectly fine, and I would have been fine on my own.  I appreciate your concern, but I am not made of glass, and I will not break easily."

Her face flushed and her jaw tightened as she spun on her heel and stomped up to our shared room.  I sighed and moved to sit near the fire, attempting to get dry and warm.  "I'm never going to be alone again, am I?" I said.

Varric and Solas shared a significant glance.  Varric said, "I'm sure the Seeker will come around.  Meanwhile, we should all get some rest and try to get an early start tomorrow."  He bid us goodnight and made his way up to his room.

Solas hesitated, uncertain whether he should give me space or join me by the fire.  I sighed and dragged another chair next to me.  "Come and join me, Solas.  You are as wet and as cold as I am."

He cautiously sat next to me, not saying a word.  I turned to him and said as kindly as I could, "I enjoy being with you, too, you know.  I just need some time to think."

His face was a carefully neutral mask when he answered, "I understand."

Later that night, as I collapsed into my bed and entered the Fade, he was nowhere to be found.  I concentrated on an isolated beach scene, and spent the rest of the night lost in my thoughts, staring at the ocean.  When I woke up, I was no closer to a decision.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see a lot of parallels between Elphaba/Wicked Witch and Solas/Fen'Harel. In my head, it's the kind of story he would really enjoy. Also, I promise that the slow, slow burn will eventually become something. Someday.
> 
> Wicked lyrics by Stephen Schwartz


	12. Tales of Time Travel

I tried to put some distance between me and Solas as we continued on our journey to Val Royeaux.  I attempted to treat him with a neutral politeness and avoided being alone with him.  He definitely noticed, but even though his eyes were filled with disappointment, he gave me my space.  My dreams were spent in solitude, although I was sure Solas was there in some fashion because I was never again plagued by nightmares.

As for my stories, I found myself telling a lot of romances.  I told  _Casablanca_ with Varric in mind, seeing a bit of his and Bianca's story in Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund.  The bittersweet ending was well received, so I decided to follow it up with _The Notebook_.  That one had tears streaming down everyone's face as I wrapped it up, saying, "And when the nurse came in to check on them the next morning, she found Noah and Allie had both passed peacefully in the night, holding each other's hands."  As Cassandra sniffled and gave a wistful sigh, an idea occurred to me.   _Would talking about time travel tip my hand, or will it help to change the story?_  I decided to risk it before I could overthink it, and started telling them  _The Time Traveler's Wife_. 

I tried to make it seem like I was just telling another romantic story as I described how Henry and Clare's relationship developed.  I didn't focus on the time travel aspect at all, yet the concept grabbed the attention of Solas and Varric.  After I finished my story, my companions spent a long time debating whether or not one could go back in time and alter the future. 

"All I'm saying is, if you go back and change the future, then the future you came from doesn't exist, which means you never came back to change anything," argued Varric.  "It's a paradox."

Solas countered with the idea that alternate time lines could exist and one could move from one to another, provided they had the necessary magic or technology.  "Therefore, it would be possible to alter the outcome of a timeline without causing a paradox," he concluded.

Cassandra rolled her eyes.  She had not been completely satisfied by the ending of the story.  "I think if they had tried harder, they could have prevented Henry from dying," she groused.  I tried to hide my pleased grin.

Solas and Varric debated and argued the topic until we made it to the next inn.  Cassandra groaned and announced that she was going to retire early that evening.  As she made her way upstairs, I leaned in towards the two men and whispered conspirationally, "I have a lot more stories about time travel.  Would you like me to tell them over the next couple days?  I think it might get under Cassandra's skin."

Varric chortled with barely concealed glee while Solas attempted to give me a disapproving look that was completely ruined by the mischievous glint in his eye.  "It's settled then," I declared.  "Tomorrow, I'll start telling you some more time travel stories."

True to my word, when we set off the next day, I started telling my companions  _Back to the Future_.  They were amused by the wacky antics of Marty McFly and Doc Brown, even if they were a little squicked out at the idea of Marty's own mother flirting with him.  They were equally entertained when I told them the plot to  _The Terminator_.  True to form, Varric tried to dissect the ending.  "So let me get this straight...John Connor sent his own father, Kyle Reese, back in time to save his mother, Sarah.  But he couldn't have been conceived in the first place without his father coming back in time, which  _he_ couldn't have done without John being conceived..."

"A paradox, indeed," remarked Solas with a smirk.  

That evening, as we readied ourselves for bed in our shared room, Cassandra tentatively asked me, "Has something happened between you and Solas, Herald?"

I hesitated before I answered, "Not exactly, no.  Why do you ask?"

She returned my hesitation before she cautiously said, "I thought that there was...a closeness between the two of you.  Now, I sense a distance.  I merely wondered if he did something to upset you in some way..."

I cut her off, "No, nothing like that.  Your instincts are good, Seeker.  There was a closeness between us, as you so aptly described it.  I feel...I am very attracted to him, I will admit.  But I don't think acting on that attraction would be wise.  'An emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us,'" I snarked, although it was lost on Cassandra.  Sighing, I continued, "Therefore, I have decided to take a step back from Solas.  It is not his fault, my actions are due to my reasons alone."

To her credit, Cassandra didn't press the issue, although she couldn't quite keep a look of disapproval from passing over her face.  I knew her romantic heart was rooting for a good story, but it wasn't going to come from my life.  Huffing in frustration, I flopped into bed.  Sleep eluded me for almost an hour as I tossed and turned.  When I finally entered the Fade, I relented and called for Mr. Wolf.

He appeared instantly at my side, confirming my belief that he had been silently watching over me for the past few nights.  "Hello, my friend," I greeted him.  "I have missed you these last few evenings."

"I knew that you needed your space," he answered.  "But I must admit that I am glad you called for me to join you again."

"I needed some time to think," I said.

He held my gaze as he asked, "Do you wish to discuss it?"

I hesitated.   _Why yes, I have a massive crush on you, although I have to pretend I don't know it's you, and I have to pretend I don't know who you really are.  We'll probably break each other's hearts.  Oh, and I've been telling you stories and trying to change your fate.  Want to go on a date sometime?_ "No," I answered.  "But thank you for the offer."

He nodded, then offered to show me more wonders in the Fade.  I happily accepted, glad for the distraction.  I spent the rest of the night chasing and playing with bright spirits with him by my side.  It was easier to ignore my feelings for Solas when he was in this form, although they were still very much present.  When morning came, I woke up with a smile on my face.  If Cassandra noticed, she kept it to herself.

That day, as we traveled I told the tale of  _The Time Machine_.  I described the gentle Eloi and the brutish Morlocks, and how the Time Traveler had determined that they had both evolved from the humans of his time.  I noticed Solas pursing his lips as I described how the earth eventually stopped spinning and all life died out before the Time Traveler returned to his own time.  "Is that what you believe will happen to your world?" he asked.  "Do you think all life will simply cease to exist?"

"Yes," I answered.  "If we manage not to kill ourselves through war or stupidity first, someday the sun will go supernova, or a meteor will hit the planet, or something else will kill everything.  It probably won't happen for another few billion years, though, so it's not something we really worry about.  It's not like we'll be around to see it happen.  I wouldn't be surprised if something similar happened to Thedas.  Good thing none of us are immortal, huh?"  I couldn't resist playfully jabbing.

Solas didn't answer me, making a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat.

"In any case, this next story will be the last one to deal with time travel for a while."  I tried not to laugh at Cassandra's sigh of relief.  "It's called  _A Wrinkle in Time_ , and it begins on a dark and stormy night..."  I spun my tale of time, tesseracts, space, and dimensions.  I introduced the characters of Meg, Calvin, and Charles Wallace, along with Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which.  I described the planet of Camazotz where Meg and Charles Wallace's father was being held, as well as the dark power of IT.  I told them of gentle Aunt Beast and how Meg's love for Charles Wallace was enough to save him from IT's control.

"A fitting end to the theme," declared Varric.  Cassandra nodded her agreement

"Well, I did have a bit of an epilogue in mind," I confessed.  "It's a song, not a story."

With my companions' encouragement, I began to sing:

_If I could save time in a bottle_  
_The first thing that I'd like to do_  
_Is to save every day till eternity passes away_  
_Just to spend them with you_

_If I could make days last forever_  
_If words could make wishes come true_  
_I'd save every day like a treasure and then_  
_Again, I would spend them with you_

_But there never seems to be enough time_  
_To do the things you want to do, once you find them_  
_I've looked around enough to know_  
_That you're the one I want to go through time with_

_If I had a box just for wishes_  
_And dreams that had never come true_  
_The box would be empty, except for the memory of how_  
_They were answered by you_

_But there never seems to be enough time_  
_To do the things you want to do, once you find them_  
_I've looked around enough to know_  
_That you're the one I want to go through time with_

"It's a bit of a love song, but I thought it went with the subject," I said when I finished.

"It was a beautiful song," Solas said quietly, causing me to blush and smile.  Varric and Cassandra agreed.  Soon, we were at the next inn.  This journey to Val Royeaux was taking a long time, I thought as I fell asleep that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time in a Bottle lyrics: Jim Croce


	13. Beauty and the Beast

The journey to Val Royeaux continued as day after day passed. Varric had started to spin some of his own tales as we traveled, and I was only too happy to relax and listen as someone else talked for once. Sometimes his stories were works of fiction, sometimes they were merely heavily embellished tales of his time with the Champion of Kirkwall.  Those always managed to make Cassandra scowl, but I loved hearing about the adventures of my favorite characters.  Sometimes, though, it felt a little creepy having my own choices told to me in some sort of bizarre deja vu.  Eventually, I felt the need to break in with my stories again, if only to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"This tale was one of my favorites as a girl," I said. "It is called Beauty and the Beast. Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle..." And so I began spinning a tale of an cursed prince, an enchanted rose, and a beautiful girl who loved to read and dreamed of adventure. My companions' faces relaxed as they enjoyed the charming lyrics and easy humor. Some of the lyrics were especially poignant for me:

_I want adventure in the great wide somewhere,_  
_I want it more than I can tell._  
_And for once, it might be grand_  
_To have someone understand._  
_I want so much more than they've got planned._

I had gotten that adventure I had longed for, only it wasn't quite what I expected. I continued the story, telling how Belle sacrificed her freedom for her father and was then served by entertaining flatware. I described the Beast's atrocious temper and Belle's compassion. When I described how he gave her a magnificent library as a surprise gift, Cassandra sighed in appreciation. "How romantic," she said, smiling wistfully.

"I agree," I said, breaking my narration. "Honestly, I probably would have married him on the spot."

Solas sputtered and choked in surprise while Varric chuckled.

"What?" I said defensively. "If you find a man with that many books who is willing to give them to you in a grand romantic gesture, you snatch him up. He's obviously a keeper. Now, to continue the story..."

I continued describing a romantic evening in a ballroom, the Beast letting Bell go because he loved her, and Gaston leading the townspeople in an attack against the Beast.

_We don't like what we don't understand,_  
_In fact it scares us,_  
_And this monster is mysterious at least._  
  
_Bring your guns, bring your knives,_  
_Save your children and your wives._  
_We'll save our village and our lives._  
_Kill the Beast!_

I glanced over at Solas to gauge his reaction. He looked pensive, but he still seemed to be enjoying the story. I wrapped it up, telling them how Gaston challenged the Beast, eventually plummeting to his death. I told how Belle declared her love for the Beast at the last possible moment, breaking the curse and allowing them to live happily ever after.

When I finished, Varric said, "So...back to what you said earlier...you would marry the first guy to give you a library?"

I groaned.  "Okay...maybe I wouldn't marry  _any_ man who gave me a library, but it would certainly earn him a lot of brownie points."

"Did you leave someone special behind in your world?" Varric asked me kindly, yet cautiously.  Cassandra and Solas whipped their heads around to observe my answer.  If I hadn't been so embarrassed, I would have found it hilarious.

Blushing, I stammered, "N-not really.  Much to my mother's dismay, I was never in a serious relationship.  I went on dates that she or my friends set up for me, but I never really 'clicked' with anyone.  Sure, I had the occasional unattainable crush or two on celebrities, teachers, fictional characters..." I trailed off, my blush deepening.  I cleared my throat and continued, "My father always told her not to worry.  I'm a bit of a Daddy's girl.  He said I reminded him of his sister, my Aunt Catherine.  She was a few years younger than him and she was my mother's best friend in school.  That's actually how my parents met.  Anyway, my Aunt Catherine wasn't in a relationship until she was almost thirty.  My mom would try to set her up with people, but she never really warmed up to anyone.  She became a librarian, and one day she went to a librarian convention in a big city a few hours away.  She met my Uncle Michael there.  Within a few hours of meeting her, he proposed marriage, which is almost unheard of in my world.  She rebuffed him a few times, thinking he was joking, but then she realized he was serious.  She decided she really liked him, so she agreed before the weekend was over.  They got married three weeks later, even though everyone said she was crazy.  Now they have two daughters and have been married for just over ten years, still going strong."  Cassandra gave a romantic sigh, as expected.

I continued, "So whenever my mother starts to get on my case about finding a nice young man and having a bit of fun, my father will tell her to relax and let me find love in my own time.  'There's over seven billion people on the planet, she'll find someone in her own time,' he used to say."

Solas interrupted me in shock.  "SEVEN BILLION?  Did you say seven BILLION?" he asked, blinking rapidly.

I smirked, saying, "That's what happens when people have access to modern medicine and technology, extending lifespans and reducing the infant mortality rate.  Although at the rate we're growing, we'll soon outgrow our planet.  We'll either have to find a new planet to expand to, or take some measures to check the population growth, like limiting the number of children a couple can have."

Varric and Cassandra looked a bit shell-shocked as well.  "Where does everyone live?" Cassandra asked, awe creeping into her voice.

"Well, some people live scattered far and few between in the countryside.  Most people live in cities.  In my country, the largest city has a population of nearly eight and a half million people.  The buildings reach high into the sky to accommodate that many people.  In other countries, there are cities nearly three times as large.  Life can be very cramped and crowded, but most people think it's worth it.  I tend to prefer the more isolated lifestyle found in the rural areas.  That's where I grew up."

"I cannot even imagine..." Solas trailed off, his eyes staring into the distance as he tried to comprehend that many people living in the world.

As we traveled, I described the various wonders that could be found in these cities.  I told my friends about subways and water taxis, high rises and tourist traps. 

By the time we made it to the next inn, all I wanted was a hot meal, a warm bath, and a soft bed. Sleep came to me easily once again, and Solas was already waiting for me in the Fade.

"Hello, Mr. Wolf," I greeted him, stretching out my hand to scratch him under his chin. "Where are we off to today?"

"I thought we would return to Arlathan, there is much more to the city that I did not get a chance to show you," he replied, flicking his tail.

Once again, I found myself in a floating, glittering city. Solas led me to what I assumed was a poetry reading of some kind. A woman was seated on a stage in front of a crowd, reading from a book. I could only understand about half of the words she said, but I found that it did not matter. As she spoke, transparent images formed in the air around her, acting out the words she was reading.

"Cool! Is she doing that, or would that happen for anyone who read from the book?" I asked.

"A little of both," Solas answered, pleased by my curiosity. "The book is enchanted with a base spell that lays the groundwork, but the reader must put forth her own magic and interpretation to form the story in the air. If the reading catches the attention of a helpful spirit, they will help act out the story. This woman is a particularly gifted reader; she was a favorite of Sylaise."

Ah, yes...I could see the faint markings of the vallaslin if I looked closely for them. "What happened to her?" I asked.

His ears drooped slightly as he replied, "She died when Arlathan fell, as did so many others."

"Oh," I said, watching the woman for a few more moments, my fascination turning to somber contemplation. I turned to Solas and said, "Would you mind taking me back to the garden you showed me last time? I really enjoyed that."

He dipped his head in acknowledgement, and led me to the garden as I requested. I gathered the sweet-smelling, otherworldly flowers as he taught me a little more elvhen. I began weaving the flowers together into a wreath as he spoke, a contented smile spreading over my face.  When I finished, I draped it over his neck, grinning at his huff of annoyance.  "There, Mr. Wolf.  Now you are beautiful," I declared mirthfully.

He straightened his shoulders in an attempt to maintain some dignity, but he did not try to remove the flowers.  "I was also hoping to show you a great library," he said.  "I think you would like it."

I giggled like a schoolgirl.  "Why Mr. Wolf, have you been spying on me in the physical world?" I teased, knowing he would not reveal that he had in fact been a part of the earlier conversation.

"I have been observing you, it is true," he replied, choosing his words carefully.  "Does that bother you?"

"Not at all," I answered with a smile.  Then, I remembered what I had said about men who gave me libraries.  "Um...you aren't expecting anything in return for this, are you?" I asked nervously.

Now it was his turn to give me a teasing, wolfish grin.  "Do not worry,  _falon_ , I will not ask for your hand in marriage," he reassured me with an amused glint in his eye.

The scene around us swirled, and I found myself in an open, airy room filled with books.  A few elves moved around the room, fetching and returning books to their proper places.  A bright spirit approached us, asking if we needed assistance finding any knowledge in particular.

"No, thank you," Solas replied.  Then he turned to me and said, "That spirit is Ghil-Dirthalen; a spirit of connection and knowledge."  Suddenly, I realized exactly where we were.  The shattered library looked so different from the crumbling fragment I had seen in the game.  "This library was once called Vir Dirthara."

"Path of truth?" I tried to translate, staring around in awe at the thousands and thousands of books.

He smiled in approval.  "A good attempt.  A closer translation would be 'way of learning.'"

I drifted over to one of the shelves and grabbed a book at random.  I was disappointed when I opened it to find elegant, spidery runes on the pages.  "I can't read it," I said, dejected. 

Solas glanced at the book I was holding.  "It is written in elvhen.  I will start teaching you how to read it from now on during your lessons.  For now, I will read to you, although you may want to choose another book."

"What's wrong with this one?" I asked, turning it over in my hands.

"It is a record of one of the noble houses of the time.  It is a glorified list of ancestors, augmented by exaggerated deeds of greatness."

I wrinkled my nose as I put it back on the shelf.  "Alright, Mr. Wolf.  Why don't you pick out a book?"

He selected a collection of tales of the gods, or "evanuris," as he called them.  Most of the stories were clearly written in praise of the pantheon, portraying them in the most flattering light possible.  But every now and then, Solas would read a story with a touch of wit and pithiness that made me grin with delight.  Invariably, all of those deliciously entertaining stories were about Fen'Harel.  It didn't hurt that Solas had a wonderful reading voice, especially in his wolf form.  When he finished the last story, I sighed and said, "That was wonderful.  Are there any more stories about Fen'Harel?  He's my favorite."

A smug smile spread over his face.  "There are.  However, your request is most unusual.  Most elves take care not to even speak his name aloud unless they must."

I shrugged, saying, "Well, I'm not an elf, and he's not my god.  As far as I'm concerned, he's just a really good character in a great story.  Much better than the stories about Andruil, in my opinion.  How many hunts can you write about, really?"

His nose twitched in amusement as he replied, "You'd be surprised."  His tone became more serious as he continued, "I wonder if you would be so flippant if you knew how much power the evanuris truly held."

I fixed him with a level gaze as I answered, "Not enough power to keep themselves from being locked away."  His jaw clenched, and I tried to smooth things over.  "I'm sorry, Mr. Wolf.  I do not mean to mock your gods"

"They are not my gods," he said tersely, turning his head away.  After a few moments, he softly continued, "I am not offended,  _falon_ , I know you mean well.  Come, let us leave this place.  Morning is upon us, and you will wake up soon."

He was right, and my eyes fluttered open as the great library faded away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beauty and the Beast lyrics: Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
> 
> The Aunt Catherine and Uncle Michael story is based on the true story of people I knew. Names and details have been changed, but the real life couple were married for 60+ years until the husband died. I always thought it was super romantic, so I decided to include it in some way. :)


	14. The Lion and the Mouse

 We finally made it to Val Royeaux.  It was an impressive and imposing sight to behold after the several weeks I had spent in Thedas.  We left our horses in a stable outside the city.  Strains of beautiful music floated down to us as we walked through the gate.  "It is the Chant of LIght," Cassandra explained proudly, catching my curious look.  "It is sung from start to finish, constantly.  It takes nearly two weeks to complete."

"It is beautiful," I said, staring at the statues of Andraste and Mafereth.  There were far more details and nuances than there had been in the game.  A hundred different smells assaulted my nose at once.  Leathers, pastries, sweat, incense, old fish, piss, perfume...I could barely pick one out from the other.  

As we walked into the city, a woman gasped and scurried out of our way.  Varric dryly remarked, "Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are."

"Your skills of observation never fail to impress me, Varric," she replied, rolling her eyes.

Leliana's spy came up to meet us, right on cue.  She told us that the Chantry was waiting for us, but so were the Templars.  "People seem to think the Templars will protect them from the Inquisition.  They're gathering on the other side of the market.  I think that's where the Templars will meet you."

"Only one thing to do then," Cassandra said, striding forward.  She called back over her shoulder to the spy, "Return to Haven.  Someone will need to inform them if we are...delayed."

With that, we strolled into the market at the center of the city.  A woman was speaking to the crowd.  "Revered Mother Hevara," Cassandra whispered in my ear.

"Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me," Hevara said.  "Together we mourn our Divine.  Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery.  You wonder what will become of her murderer, well, wonder no more!  Behold!  The so-called 'Herald of Andraste,' claiming to rise where our beloved fell.  We say this is a false prophet!  The Maker would send no elf in our hour of need!"

I recoiled slightly.  Even though I knew elves were viewed as second-class citizens in Thedas, I wasn't used to being on the receiving end of such treatment.  I tried to maintain my composure.  "I am not the Herald of Andraste, and I have never claimed to be.  The Inquisition is only trying to help; we should be focusing on sealing the Breach instead of squawking like chickens at each other."

"It's true.  The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late," Cassandra broke in.

"It is already too late," refuted Hevara as Templars entered the market.  "The Templars have returned to the Chantry.  They will face this Inquisition and the people will be safe once more."  She gestured for them to arrest us.  I winced in anticipation of the punch I knew was coming.

Sure enough, she was decked from behind by one of the soldiers.  "Still yourself, she is beneath us," said Lord Seeker Lucius, glaring at us.  "Her claim to authority is an insult, much like your own."

Cassandra began, "Lord Seeker Lucius, it is imperative that we speak with..."

He cut her off.  "You will not address me."

"Lord Seeker?" Cassandra asked.  My heart broke a little for her.  I had decided not to reveal the true nature of the Seekers, thinking it would be better for her to find out on her own later.

"Creating a heretical movement...raising up a puppet as Andraste's prophet...you should be ashamed!  You should all be ashamed!  The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages.  You are the ones who have failed.  You who'd leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear.  If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late.  The only destiny here that demands respect is mine!" raved Lucius.

"Ooooh...'Destiny!'" I said sarcastically.  "Well, that's certainly got me quaking in my little boots.  It seems you only came to punch little old women and make pretty speeches.  If that doesn't earn you respect, I don't know what will!"

Solas shot me a look and gave me a slight shake of the head.  He didn't need to say a word, I knew he was telling me to shut the hell up.

"I came to see what frightens old women so, and to laugh," Lucius retorted, anger staining his cheeks red.

One of his soldiers piped up, "But Lord Seeker...what if she really was sent by the Maker?  What if..."

"You are called to a higher purpose.  Do not question," Lucius interrupted.  "I will make the Templar order a power that stands alone against the Void.  We deserve recognition, independence.  You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition, less than nothing.  Templars, Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection.  We march!"  He and his soldiers swept away imperiously.

"Charming fellow, isn't he," remarked Varric, breaking the tension.  I threw back my head and laughed, causing Solas and Cassandra to frown.

"Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?" Cassandra asked incredulously.

"Do you know him very well?" I asked.

"He took over the Seekers of Truth two years ago, after Lord Seeker Lambert's death.  He was always a decent man, never given to ambition and grandstanding.  This is very bizarre," she said, shaking her head.

"What are the odds of getting the Templars to help us with him in charge?" I asked.

"There must be some in the order who see what he's become," she replied with conviction.  "Either way, we must first return to Haven and inform the others."

We turned to leave the market, when Sera's arrow landed at our feet.  My companion's whipped out their weapons, whirling to find the attacker.  I stooped to read the note attached to the arrow.

_People say you're special. I want to help, and I can bring everyone._

_There's a baddie in Val Royeaux. I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks, and 'round the cafe, and maybe you'll meet him first. Bring swords._

_Friends of Red Jenny_

"It's alright, everyone.  It's just a message, not an attack.  A scavenger hunt...sounds fun!" I said.

As we turned to continue trying to leave, a manservant approached us.  "You are the Herald of Andraste, are you not?  I have an invitation for you."   _Ah, Vivienne.  Right on cue._  

Now that the spectacle was over, the crowd began to thin.  We continued making our way out of the market, not wanting to linger.  As we moved, a grubby child approached us.  She couldn't have been more than five years old, her shapeless, colorless garment little more than rags.  She held her little hands out to me in wordless supplication, her eyes as large as saucers in her pinched face.   _I don't remember her being part of the game._ I knelt down, softly asking, "Hello there...what is your name, little one?"

She shook her head and held out her hands.  Her arm was so thin it was a wonder it hadn't snapped.  "Have you eaten today?" I asked.  She shook her head again.

"We'll have to remedy that," I said, holding out my own arms, offering to carry her.

After the smallest hesitation, she nodded her head and stepped forward, looping her own scrawny arms around my neck.  I wrapped my arms around her and stood up.  "Herald," Cassandra began, a warning in her voice.

I cut her off.  "I am buying this poor child some lunch.  That is not up for discussion."  I tried to give my voice as much authority as I could muster.

Cassandra shared a grim glance with Varric.  He tentatively spoke up, "Look, boss...this girl is probably part of a larger pack of beggars.  Once you show them where you keep your coin, they'll swarm you..."

"I don't care," I interrupted.  "Honestly, I'm ashamed of you two.  We are the Inquisition; we are supposed to be this moral, upstanding force in Thedas.  Here we are in the capital of the Chantry, and you are refusing to show mercy to a starving child."  I turned to glare at Solas, who had been watching the scene unfold with a carefully neutral expression.  "Do you have something to say?" I snarled at him.

He raised an eyebrow as he coolly replied, "Any words of caution I might have offered have already been voiced by Varric and Cassandra.  Your intentions are admirable, Herald.  I will do my best to guard you should you come to harm."

I suddenly felt embarrassed by my emotional outburst.  "Oh.  Well...thank you, Solas.  Now, come on, everyone.  We have a child to feed," I said, trying to regain some dignity.

We made our way to a marked stall that sold fried fish.  I ordered five servings, splitting them among the group.  The child in my arms wolfed down half of her portion, then carefully wrapped the other half in the scrap of paper it had been served in.  "Are you saving that for later, or for someone else?" I asked.

"My brother," she answered, finally speaking for the first time, her voice barely above a whisper.  I turned to order another portion of fish.  "Here...give this one to your brother," I said.  "Now, I saw an apple vendor somewhere around here..."

Soon, I bought a basket of brightly colored apples.  Sure enough, a small gaggle of grubby, dirty children was starting to assemble.  Many of them seemed to be elves, although the girl in my arms was human.  Varric and Cassandra had moved their hands to hover over their weapons.  The girl slipped out of my arms and ran over to the largest boy, tugging on his tunic until he stooped low enough for her to whisper in his ear.  I decided to seize the moment, grabbing three apples out of the basket with a grin.  Lazily, I began to toss them into the air, juggling them in a simple pattern.  Some of the children giggled and smiled as they watched me.  I caught the eye of the largest child, who I assumed was the ringleader.  "Think fast," I said, tossing him one of the apples as I stooped to grab another.

That earned me a laugh from some more of the children.  Encouraged, I did it again, tossing another apple to a different child.  Now they were calling out, "Me!  Me!  Toss one to me!"  I obliged again and again, until the basket was empty.  A few disappointed groans rose from the crowd that had started to gather.

"That's all, folks," I said.  "Unless...would you like to see a cartwheel?"  A chorus of affirmation answered me, so I quickly turned a few cartwheels.  Inspired, I flipped over and walked a few feet on my hands.  The children cheered and laughed, and I couldn't help joining them as I righted myself.  I glanced over at my companions.  They were all smiling, and Cassandra and Varric had relaxed slightly.

"How would you like to hear a story?" I asked the children.  A chorus of yeses answered me.  "Very well...Once, there was a mighty lion.  One day, he caught a small mouse and was ready to eat him for a snack.  'Please, don't eat me, Lion!' cried the mouse.  'If you let me go, I promise that one day, I shall return the favor.'  Now, the lion paused and started to laugh.  'What could a little mouse like you ever do for me?' he asked, greatly amused.  'Truly, I do not know,' answered the mouse, 'but I promise that one day, should it be within my power, I will lend you my aid.'

"The lion positively roared with laughter.  He had recently eaten, and the mouse would be less than a mouthful for him, besides, he had not laughed so well in a long time.  'Very well, little mouse,' he chuckled, 'you may go.'  The mouse scurried off, and the lion thought very little of the encounter for the next several months.  But one day, as he was walking about hunting for another meal, he found himself caught in a hunter's trap.

"'Help!' he cried as he struggled in the net that caught him.  No matter how fiercely he roared or struggled, the net grew tighter and tighter around him.  Soon, he could no longer move at all.  But look...here came a mouse creeping towards him!  'I have returned to keep my word, mighty lion,' said the mouse, and he began to gnaw through the ropes.  He chewed and chewed until one by one, the ropes broke free and the lion was able to escape.  He thanked the mouse for his freedom, humbled by the ordeal.  For he would do well to remember, as would we all, that no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

The children cheered as I finished the story, and my companions were still smiling.  I decided to continue taking advantage of the moment, so I raised my voice slightly so it would carry, saying, "The Inquisition is based in Haven, a three-week journey from here.  There is a place to be had by all, young or old.  Please consider coming to join us...there is food and shelter, and we could use all the help we can get."

My companions' eyes had gone wide with shock, but none of them moved to correct or contradict me.  I stood, bid good-bye to the children, and went to join my companions.  As we walked to find the first clue in Sera's scavenger hunt, Varric remarked, "I didn't know you could juggle, Herald.  You are a woman of many talents."

"There is much you don't know about me," I answered with a twinkle in my eye.  

"Indeed, you continue to surprise me," Solas remarked, granting me a small smile.

I laughed.  "I should hope so...you lot have barely known me a month!  What a shallow person I would be if you could all figure me out completely in such a short time.  Come now, let's find these clues for this Red Jenny."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue from BioWare
> 
> The Lion and the Mouse fable - Aesop


	15. Robin Hood

Sera's clues led us to an abandoned courtyard.  By the time we found it, night had fallen.  We dispatched the handful of guards fairly easily, bursting through one of the doors to find a masked noble slinging fireballs around.

"Herald of Andraste?!  How much did you expend to discover me?  It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably!" he preened, reminding me of a peacock.

"I have no idea who you are," I said.  "Do you guys know who this is?" I asked, turning to my companions.  They all shook their heads, which seemed to infuriate the masked noble.

"You don't fool me!" he snapped.  "I'm too important for this to be an accident!  My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere!"

A gratingly familiar voice came from the shadows.  "Just say what!" Sera ordered, brandishing her bow.

"What is the meaning..."   _THWACK!_  An arrow hit him square in the mouth, exploding out of the back of his head.

"Eww!" Sera grimaced.  "Squishy one, but you heard me, right?  'Just say what.'  Rich tits always try for more than they deserve."  She stooped to retrieve her arrow with a wet, sickening  _squick_.  "Blah blah blah!  Obey me!  Arrow in my face!"  She finally seemed to look at me.  "So, you followed the notes well enough.  Glad to see you're...aaaaand, you're an elf.  Well, hope you're not 'too elfy.'"

I tried not to smile too much at Solas' disgusted snort while she continued.  "I mean, it's all good, innit?  The important thing is: you glow?  You're the Herald thingy?"

"Some people believe that I'm the Herald of Andraste," I acknowledged.  "I'm not one of them.  But who are you?  Who is he?" I asked gesturing towards the masked corpse at our feet.  "Why did you help us?  Thanks, by the way," I said with a grin.

"No idea, I don't know this idiot from manners.  My people just said the Inquisition should look at him," she replied.

"Your people?" I prompted.

She smirked at me, but changed the subject.  "Name's Sera.  This is cover.  Get round it.  For the reinforcements," she explained.  "Don't worry.  Someone tipped me their equipment shed.  They've got no breeches!"

Before I had a chance to say anything else, we were ambushed by another group of mercenaries.  True to Sera's word, they were pants-less.  Sera cackled as she fired arrow after arrow, "Butt, butt, butt!"

When the battle was finally over, she gloated, "Friends really came through with that tip!  No breeches!"  She laughed some more.  It was so infectious, I couldn't help but join her.  She turned to give me a measuring look.  "So...Herald of Andraste.  You're a strange one.  I'd like to join."

"I'd love to have you, Sera," I answered.  "You are a fine archer, and you seem to be well-connected.  Also, you have a great sense of humor.  Welcome aboard."

Cassandra stiffened next to me, but said nothing.  Sera seemed to be a bit taken aback with how quickly I had accepted her offer.  "About those connections...It's...Well, it's like this.  I sent you a note to look for hidden stuff by my friends.  The Friends of Red Jenny.  That's me.  Well, I'm one," she amended.  "So's a fence in Montfort, some woman in Kirkwall.  There were three in Starkhaven, brothers or something.  It's just a name, yeah?  It lets little people, "Friends," be part of something while they stick it to nobles they hate.  So here, in your face, I'm Sera.  'The Friends of Red Jenny' are sort of out there.  I used them to help you.  Plus arrows."

"Sounds good to me," I said.  "The more, the merrier.  Oh, by the way?  You are way 'elfier' than I'm ever going to be," I said with a wicked grin.

Poor Solas made a strangled noise while Varric burst into laughter at the grossly offended look on Sera's face.  "You take that back!" she demanded.

I laughed.  "Come back to our inn with us, and I'll tell you the whole story," I promised.

My three companions immediately sobered and glanced at me cautiously.  "Are you sure that is wise, Herald?" Cassandra asked pointedly.

"You should be careful who you trust with your story, remember?" Varric added, as Solas nodded his agreement.

Sera kept her mouth shut for once and watched us all curiously.  "I know," I reassured my companions.  "I don't plan on broadcasting it to everyone we meet, but I trust Sera.  She's good people, and she won't sell me out unless I suddenly decide to act like a dick, am I right?" I said, turning towards her.

She gave me a non-committal shrug, but she agreed to follow us back to the inn.  I made the entire group join us in the room I was sharing with Cassandra while I gave Sera a condensed version of my story.  I was actually shocked by how well she took it, considering how much magic disturbed her.  "So even though these aren't your people and this isn't your world, you're willing to risk your life to save them?" she asked, somewhat impressed.

"It's not my world, but these  _are_ my people," I gently corrected her.

She rewarded me with a cheeky grin.  "You're all right, Herald.  You're secret's safe with me."

I could sense my other companions relax slightly.  I hadn't noticed how tense they were.  "Well, now that that's all settled, let's go to bed.  We have to go to Duke Ghislain's estate tomorrow to meet this Vivienne de Fer," I said.

Solas and Varric left for their room, Sera left for who knows where, and Cassandra and I settled in for the night.  "I hope our new ally can be trusted," she said as she turned over in her bed.  

"Sera's good people," I reassured her.  It was late, and I fell asleep fairly quickly, eager to enter the Fade. 

Solas was there waiting for me, his tail twitching as I approached. "I was wondering if I could show you something this time," I said.

"Of course," he agreed.

I concentrated, and suddenly we were outside of Geoff's house on a summer night at three in the morning. Geoff and I were silently pushing his car out of his driveway, careful not to wake up his sleeping parents.  "We've just snuck out for a joyride...I'm sixteen in this memory.  Geoff spent the entire summer fixing this car up.  He's so good with machines...my dad tried to convince him to go to trade school and become his apprentice someday, but Geoff wanted to get a business degree instead," I explained to Solas as I helped push.

Soon, the black '69 Mustang was far enough from Geoff's house to start.  The rumbling of the engine seemed to make Solas slightly anxious, and he peered up at me warily.  

"Come on in," I called to him as I slid into the passenger seat. "You can sit between us." I held my door open as he cautiously crawled over me and settled himself with some trepidation.

"I promise we are safe," I said as I buckled my seat belt. "Geoff is a very good driver. I think you'll enjoy yourself. Dogs in my world love car rides."

Solas glared at me for the comparison to dogs, but not for long as the car started moving. I could feel him tense beside me as we picked up speed, but the top was down, and the night air swirled around us. Before long, his tongue was lolling out of the side of his mouth and his eyes were half-closed in pleasure. I grinned as we wound along the empty country roads.

Geoff drove faster and faster, testing how fast his precious car could go. We whooped and shouted like the idiot teenagers we were. I unbuckled my seat belt and stood in my seat, as I had in reality. I stretched my arms above my head and yelled, "I'm king of the world!" Geoff laughed and tapped the gas, knocking me back into my seat.

Solas glared at me again and critically remarked, "You should not be so reckless. And Geoff should slow down. These speeds cannot be safe."

"Relax," I said, smirking. "It's a memory. We didn't crash this night...or ever. And we go faster on the highway all the time. This is just a joyride. We were young and bored and dumb.  I'm sure even wolves go through that phase."

He sniffed derisively, but didn't contradict me.  "We both just got our drivers licenses, and we were enjoying our new-found freedom," I explained as the ride continued.  "College was still two years away, and there wasn't much to do in our small town. Sneaking out in the middle of the night added to the thrill."

I turned to gaze fondly at Geoff as he drove.  "He's always been sure and steady, even as a reckless teenager.  He had this quiet confidence that I envied..." I trailed off.  After a few moments of silence, I reached over to touch his shoulder. When he turned to look at me, I said, "I miss you."

Geoff smiled sadly at me and said, "I miss you, too."

My heart twisted and I reminded myself that this was just a dream, and that "Geoff" was really just a spirit imitating him. I tried to relax and enjoy the ride, but a traitorous tear leaked out and traced a path down my cheek. I blinked hard, flicked it away, and said, "My turn."

Geoff rolled his eyes, but pulled over. Solas watched with interest as we switched seats. I turned the car around and started heading back to Geoff's house, reveling in the feel of a steering wheel beneath my hands.

"Oh, yes," I sighed as I pressed the gas pedal to the floorboard. "I have missed this."

Solas cocked his head to stare at me as I drove. He didn't say anything until I had parked the car and Geoff and I began pushing it back into his driveway. "You seem to have a penchant for speed," he remarked.

"It's more about the rush of adrenaline, but yes, speed is fun. Someday, I would like to show you other activities I enjoyed.  I hope you enjoyed your first car ride."

"It was a pleasant and frightening experience," he said, "although, I hope that you have stopped being so reckless with your life."

I rolled my eyes. "It's true, I'm more careful these days than I was, but honestly, that wasn't too dangerous. We were both completely sober and we weren't going that fast. You just aren't familiar with cars.  People use them all the time, every day in my world."

He fixed me with a level glare.  "Oh really?  How reckless do you think you were being when you trusted that girl you just met with your secret?"

"Sera can be trusted, Mr. Wolf," I replied, keeping my voice as neutral as I could.  "I trust her as much as I trusted you when we met.  I'm trusting my instincts.  Besides...it's  _my_ secret to tell,  _my_ life to live, to risk."

We glared at each other for a moment before I relented and changed the subject.  "So...time for my elvhen lesson?" I asked.

I was relieved when he agreed and started teaching me how to read and write the elegant runes of his language.  

The next morning, we all prepared to leave Val Royeaux to journey to Duke Ghislain's estate.    Before we left, I wrapped up some business.  I spoke to Belle, acquiring her as an agent, and bought some souvenirs for some people back in Haven.  As we were leaving, we were approached by Grand Enchanter Fiona.

"If I might have a moment of your time?" she inquired politely.

"Grand Enchanter Fiona?" Cassandra said incredulously.

"Leader of the mage rebellion," Solas added, with a note of admiration.  "Is it not dangerous for you to be here?"

"I heard of this gathering, and I wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste with my own eyes.  If it's help with the Breach you seek, perhaps my people are the wiser option," Fiona said.

I tried to contain my excitement, but I couldn't help myself.  "I'm so excited to meet you!  I mean...I've heard so much about you.  Your life is  _fascinating_ ," I gushed.   _It's Alistair's  mom!  Squeee!_

Cassandra cleared her throat significantly, shooting me a reproving look.  "You were supposed to be at Conclave, and yet somehow you avoided death," she said accusingly.

"As did the Lord Seeker, you'll note," retorted Fiona.  "Both of us sent negotiators in our stead, in case it was a trap.  I won't pretend I'm not glad to live.  I lost many dear friends that day.  It disgusts me to think the Templars will get away with it.  I'm hoping you won't let them."

I finally recovered my wits, and answered, "Those who were responsible will be held accountable for their actions, I promise you.  But why are you now willing to talk to us?  We were turned away at Redcliffe before."

"Because now I have seen what you are.  And I've seen the Chantry for what it is," she replied.  "Consider this an invitation to Redcliffe: come, meet with the mages.  An alliance could help us both, after all.  I hope to see you there.  Au revoir, Herald."  With that, she turned and left.

Sera wrinkled her nose.  "Are you really going to throw in with the mages?"

I looked over at her.  "What else can we do?  We need all the help we can get, and it doesn't look to good with the Templars.  Besides, being a mage doesn't automatically make you a bad person."

She grimaced, but said nothing.  The estate was nearly a half-day's ride away.  I decided to tell the tale of Robin Hood and his band of merry men.  Sera really enjoyed hearing about the adventures of Robin Hood, Little John, Will Scarlet, Friar Tuck, and the lot.  She cackled whenever Robin Hood embarrassed the Sheriff of Nottingham or Prince John and smiled when he robbed the rich to help the poor.  She also appreciated that he was a great archer.

"This Robin Hood is an alright sort," she decreed when I finished.  "Any more stories like that, Herald?"

"I might have one or two up my sleeve," I grinned as we rode on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiona is one of my very favorite characters. Seriously, her story is epic. And I'm so glad that I finally got to the point of picking up more companions. Hopefully that helps pick the pace up a bit.


	16. The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow!

I chewed my lower lip self-consciously as we entered the estate.  We were greeted by wrinkled noses, sneering lips, and mocking laughter as we strode into the hall.  The nobles made no effort to disguise their disgust; in fact, some of them made an effort to make sure we knew we were inferior.  I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and walked as confidently as I could, staring boldly around the room.

"Lady Lavellan of the Inquisition," announced a man reading from a scroll.

One of the nobles managed to snag me in a conversation, saying, "A pleasure, my lady.  We so rarely have a chance to meet anyone new.  It is always the same crowd at these parties.  So you must be a guest of Madame de Fer.  Or are you here for Duke Bastien?"  

"Are you here on business?" interjected his companion.  The pair of them were so blatant in their fishing for information that I couldn't help but smile slightly.  She continued, "I have heard the most curious tales of you.  I cannot imagine half of them are true."

"Oh, every word is true," I grinned.  "In fact, most stories are toned down a bit, so that people might actually believe them."  I gave the pair my cheekiest wink, while Sera snickered behind me.

I moved to extricate myself from the conversation, but before I got the chance, another flashy noble descended the staircase, loudly proclaiming, "The Inquisition?  What a load of pig shit!  Washed-up Sisters and crazed Seekers?  No one can take them seriously."  He was clearly baiting me for a reaction, frustrated when all he got from me was a raised eyebrow.  

"Everyone knows it's just and excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power," he continued.

"Of course.  If by 'grabbing power' you actually mean restoring peace and order to Thedas," I replied.

He scoffed.  "Here comes the outsider, restoring peace with an army!  We know what your 'Inquisition' really is," he said, moving to stand inches away, his face thrust close to mine.  It took every ounce of willpower I had to resist flicking his ear.  "If you were a woman of honor, you'd step outside and answer the charges!" he accused.  

I opened my mouth to answer him, but found that it was unnecessary as he suddenly found himself frozen in place by magic.   _Ah, enter Vivienne!_  The lady sure knew how to make an entrance.  She entered the room looking as regal as any queen, speaking in the smooth, beautiful voice of Indira Varma.  I shushed my inner fangirl.

"My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my home...to my guests," she said coldly.  "You know such rudeness is...intolerable."

"Madame Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon!" the noble panicked.  

"You should," she replied, circling him like the predator she was.  "Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?"  Turning to me, she said, "My lady, you're the wounded party in this unfortunate affair.  What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?"

"I think he learned his lesson," I answered.

Vivienne's mouth twitched ever so slightly as she gently cupped his cheek.  "By the grace of Andraste, you have your life, my dear.  Do be more careful with it."  With a wave of her hand, she released him, and he scurried out of the hall.

Turning back to me, Vivienne said, "I'm delighted you could attend this little gathering.  I've so wanted to meet you."  She led me to a more secluded area of the estate, continuing, "Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court."

"Charmed, Lady Vivienne," I smiled.

"Ah, but I didn't invite you to the chateau for pleasantries," she said.  "With Divine Justinia dead, the Chantry is in shambles.  As the leader of the last loyal mages in Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause."

"The Inquisition will be happy to have you Lady Vivienne," I said with a smile.  "Although..." I hesitated, trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words.

"Yes?" she prompted, her face a mask of regal indifference.

"You are a fine lady, accustomed to high society and all the trappings that come with it.  Will you be all right schlepping through the rain and the mud with us?  Sleeping on the cold, hard ground in a tent, which you share with one or more people?"

Her eyes flashed behind her intricate mask.  "I am the Iron Lady, my dear.  Such trivial things will not break one such as I."  I nodded my acceptance, and she continued.  "Great things are beginning, my dear.  I can promise you that."

"Very well, Lady Vivienne.  Will you be journeying with us on the road as we return to Haven?"

She gave me a polite smile, and said, "Oh, no, my dear.  I have business to finish here before I depart, and I wouldn't want to delay your journey.  I will meet you back in Haven in no time at all, never fear."

With that, my companions and I politely excused ourselves and continued on our journey.  "By the way," I said, once we were out of earshot, "I don't trust Vivienne just yet.  She may yet prove herself, but for now I think she is just as likely to expose the fact that I am from another world for her own gain."

Cassandra, Varric, and Solas all looked relieved at my pronouncement, but Sera cackled and said, "HAH!  Stuffy old broad thinks she's so big and important...and she don't know nothing!"  She gloated for the next hour or two until we made it to the next inn.

That night, I entered the Fade before Solas did.  I looked around at the scenery, realizing that I was at one of Maggie's piano recitals.  She was only about eight or nine, and I was nestled between my parents and brothers in the audience.  I closed my eyes and relaxed as the music washed over me.

"What a talented child," Solas commented in my ear, startling me.  His tail twitched as I jumped, but he didn't comment any further.

"My sister, Maggie.  She's always had a gift with music.  You should hear her on the violin or guitar."

He tilted his head as he listened with me.  "What is the name of the song she's playing?" he asked, curiously.

"This one's _Fur Elise_ , and when she finishes, she's going to play  _Moonlight Sonata_.  They're both by the same composer, Ludwig van Beethoven.  Believe it or not, when she gets older, she plays even more complicated pieces."

We listened in silence until she finished.  I applauded when she stood to take a bow, beaming with pride.  "That was beautiful," Solas said.

"Thanks, Mr. Wolf," I said as the scene dissolved around us.  "Want to teach me some elvhen now?"

He nodded, and we found ourselves back in the library he had shown me before.  He indicated which books he wanted me to select, and we settled down in a quiet corner.  One of the books was a collection of poetry.  I was painfully slow at reading it.  I kept mixing up the runes and pronouncing the words incorrectly, but Solas was patient and gently corrected me.  When I finally finished one of the poems, he read it back to me in his smooth voice.

_Hahren na melana sahlin_  
_emma ir abelas_  
_souver'inan isala hamin_  
_vhenan him dor'felas_  
_in uthenera na revas_  
_vir sulahn'nehn_  
_vir dirthera_  
_vir samahl la numin_  
_vir lath sa'vunin_

"Beautiful," I sighed.  "I feel like I've heard it before, though I can't quite remember where."

"Those are the words that were sung when an ancient elf undertook Uthenera, the long sleep.  The Elvhen did not age physically, but when they felt too weary and sleep for centuries.  Some went on to physically pass away, but many became Dreamers, returning after centuries of slumber to share their wisdom with the People."

"Oh!  That makes sense, I have heard it before.  Leliana sang it to the Hero of Ferelden in the first Dragon Age game.  I didn't recognize the words without the tune."  Suddenly, a new thought occurred to me, causing me to wrinkle my nose.  "Wait...if these elves slept for centuries...did they not have to go to the bathroom?  What about sweat?  Oh, wow...their morning breath must have been  _awful_ when they woke up..."

"They were attended to by servants," Solas cut in, looking mildly uncomfortable.  "Dreamers were able to procure sustenance from the Fade and achieve a sense of balance that helped counter the...less pleasant physical processes."

I squinted at him and pursed my lips dubiously, but I allowed him to select another poem and change the subject.  By the time morning came around, I was no better at reading elvhen, but I did have a new appreciation for the nuances of romantic poetry.

We continued the journey back to Haven.  Sera turned out to be an excellent travelling companion, full of entertaining stories and jokes.  She seemed to rankle Cassandra and Solas, but Varric and I found ourselves encouraging her.  After one particularly side-splitting tale of a snooty noble getting his comeuppance, she turned to me and said, "Hey, Herald!  How 'bout another story from you, yeah?"

I grinned as I replied, "Of course.  This one's about a plucky little red-headed orphan named Annie.  We begin in an orphanage in the middle of the night.  Annie is singing and dreaming about her parents, imagining them, as she cannot remember..."

I filled up the rest of the day's travelling with words about Ms. Hannigan, Daddy Warbucks, and Grace.  I sang about hard-knock lives, New York City, and never being fully dressed without a smile.  I told of the diabolical plot hatched by Rooster, Lily, and Ms. Hannigan.  I described how Annie met with President Roosevelt and inspired him with her song of tomorrow.

_The sun'll come out tomorrow_  
_Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow_  
_There'll be sun!_

_Just thinkin' about tomorrow_  
_Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow_  
_'Til there's none._

_When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely_  
_I just stick out my chin, and grin, and say, oh_

_The sun'll come out tomorrow_  
_So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow_  
_Come what may_

_Tomorrow!  Tomorrow!_  
_I love ya, tomorrow!_  
_You're always a day away._

_Tomorrow!  Tomorrow!_  
_I love ya, tomorrow!_  
_You're always a day away._

I wrapped it up with the happy ending.  "The more stories I hear from your world, the more I understand your optimism," commented Solas.

"What's a president?" asked Sera, curiously.

"In my country, the president was the elected leader of the people.  Every four years, we hold an election and vote for who we think should be in charge.  It's not a perfect system, but I think it's worlds better than this whole feudal monarchy thing going on in Thedas."

Sera vehemently voiced her agreement with me, although my other companions were less than enthusiastic.  Cassandra scoffed at the idea that commoners could manage to function without being guided by nobles.  Varric wondered about how reliable votes could be and possible corruption.  Solas voiced concern for the oppression of minority groups.

Sighing, I said, "Yes, there is corruption and oppression in my world.  It's part of human nature, but we're working on it every day, trying to make it better.  I will say that I would rather follow a leader who has been chosen by the people instead of someone who chanced to be born to a certain set of parents.  We tried your system on Earth for a while, centuries ago.  It didn't work.  And I'd be worried about the effects of inbreeding on your precious nobles, if I were you."

Sera cackled while Varric grinned.  Cassandra grimaced, but said nothing.  Solas' face remained neutral, save for a slight crinkling around his eyes.   _Who knows?  Maybe when he rebuilds his precious Elvhenan, he'll make it a democracy_ , I wryly mused to myself as we arrived at the inn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue from BioWare
> 
> Tomorrow lyrics by Charles Strouse and Martin Charnin


	17. One Ring to Rule Them All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance, this chapter got a bit long, so I tried to condense it. I'm a bit of a Tolkien nerd, and it was a bit painful to try to condense such awesomeness into a single chapter.

A few days later, I found myself brave enough to introduce my companions to the world of Middle Earth.  I had been a bit hesitant to share these favorite stories of mine because there were so many similarities to the world of Thedas, and I wondered how they would react.

"Now I shall tell you a series of tales about grand adventures, brave deeds, great love, and more.  The story begins with a humble hobbit..."

Solas perked up.  He remembered the word from one of our conversations in the Fade.  "What's a hobbit?" asked Cassandra.

Smiling, I answered, "Just listen to the story, and you'll see.  In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.  Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat; it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."

I continued to describe the arrival of Gandalf, drawing laughter as I described how overwhelmed Bilbo was when thirteen dwarves showed up to his home.  Using the tune from the movies, I sang:

_Far over the misty mountains cold_  
_To dungeons deep and caverns old_  
_We must away ere break of day_  
_To seek the pale enchanted gold._  
  
_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_  
_While hammers fell like ringing bells_  
_In places deep, where dark things sleep,_  
_In hollow halls beneath the fells._  
  
_For ancient king and elvish lord_  
_There many a gleaming golden hoard_  
_They shaped and wrought, and light they caught_  
_To hide in gems on hilt of sword._  
  
_On silver necklaces they strung_  
_The flowering stars, on crowns they hung_  
_The dragon-fire, in twisted wire_  
_They meshed the light of moon and sun._  
  
_Far over the misty mountains cold_  
_To dungeons deep and caverns old_  
_We must away, ere break of day,_  
_To claim our long-forgotten gold._  
  
_Goblets they carved there for themselves_  
_And harps of gold; where no man delves_  
_There lay they long, and many a song_  
_Was sung unheard by men or elves._  
  
_The pines were roaring on the height,_  
_The winds were moaning in the night._  
_The fire was red, it flaming spread;_  
_The trees like torches blazed with light._  
  
_The bells were ringing in the dale_  
_And men they looked up with faces pale;_  
_The dragon’s ire more fierce than fire_  
_Laid low their towers and houses frail._  
  
_The mountain smoked beneath the moon;_  
_The dwarves they heard the tramp of doom._  
_They fled their hall to dying fall_  
_Beneath his feet, beneath the moon._  
  
_Far over the misty mountains grim_  
_To dungeons deep and caverns dim_  
_We must away, ere break of day,_  
_To win our harps and gold from him!_

Varric shivered as I finished.  "Are you alright?" I asked, pausing in my storytelling.

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head.  "It's just...that song.  I feel like I should remember it or something, if that makes sense.  Like I heard it before, long ago..."  He shook his head again, trying to clear his thoughts.  "Don't mind me, sorry for interrupting.  Please tell us the rest of the story."

I continued telling them about how Bilbo agreed to be the "burglar" for the dwarves, how they narrowly escaped from trolls, and went to Rivendell for some assistance from Elrond.  "The elves of Middle Earth are different from the elves of Thedas," I explained, covertly watching Solas for a reaction.  "They are taller than humans, for one thing.  They are a race of great nobility and grace, and they are exceptionally long-lived.  Some would even have called them immortal."  As I expected, Solas got extremely excited by this description.  He practically vibrated in his saddle as he began to pepper me with questions.

"What was their magic like?  Did they have magic?  Where did they come from?"

I laughed.  "Wow.  Okay, let's see...magic in Middle Earth was very different from the magic of this world.  It was less...flashy and more an inherent part of things.  Some of the legends of the elves describe how their blades never lost their sharpness, or a single bite of their bread could feed a grown man for a day.  But an outright description of magic or enchantment is very rare in these legends.  Perhaps most elves were just very, very skilled craftsmen and bakers.  Perhaps everyone in that world had access to magic.  The author's descriptions are very flowery and vague on that subject.  As for where the elves came from, the short answer is that they were the first-born of the Children of Ilúvatar.  The creation story of this world is very long and complicated, and I'd rather not try to start telling it just yet."

Solas looked very disappointed, but he agreed to let me finish telling the story I had begun.  Sera snorted, "Wonderful.  A great story ruined by elfiness."

I rolled my eyes and continued describing how the party had been caught by goblins and Bilbo's encounter with Gollum.  While the party was mildly amused by the riddles, they didn't pay too much attention to the ring, thinking it to merely be a convenient magic trinket.  I told how the party had been saved by eagles and rested at the house of Beorn, the skin-changer who could become a bear.  I told of the encounters with giant-spiders and Wood-elves, and how the party finally made it to Lake-Town.  By the time I started describing how Bilbo narrowly escaped from Smaug's cave and the subsequent destruction of Lake-Town, my companions were hanging on my every word.

They cheered as I described how Bard slew Smaug, but their mood quickly darkened when I described Thorin's selfish actions.  "What an arse," declared Sera, the others nodding fervently in agreement.

"Don't worry," I reassured them.  "It gets better, I promise."  I quickly described the events of the Battle of Five Armies.  Despite his recent actions, my companions were sobered by Thorin's death, although their mood was lightened by my description of Bilbo's return to the Shire.

That evening, Solas cornered me after dinner.  "Would you please tell me more of the history of Middle Earth?  Particularly that of the elves?  I'm sorry, I know you need your rest, and it is already late, but..." he trailed off, pleading at me with his eyes.

I smiled at him, pleased with how much he had been drawn to the story.  "Of course,  _falon_.  I don't mind at all.  Although," I paused, glancing around the other patrons in the room, "perhaps this conversation should be had somewhere more private, like one of our rooms."

Solas agreed, and soon we found ourselves in the room he was sharing with Varric.  Varric raised an eyebrow as we entered.  He was already in bed, writing by the light of a candle on his nightstand.  "What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm going to tell Solas some more of Middle Earth's history.  We couldn't exactly talk downstairs, but if we're going to disturb you, we can go somewhere else."

"No, no," said Varric, putting his writing aside.  "I'd like to hear this too."

I grinned and settled myself into a cross-legged position at the foot of Solas' bed.  "Well, the first thing you should understand is that Tolkien, the author, intended for these stories to be a sort of English mythology.  In other words, even though they are completely made up, he intended for the stories to take place in the very distant past of my world.  He borrowed a lot of elements from various pre-existing mythologies and he also made some stuff up himself.  He created a lot of the languages in the stories and did an incredible amount of world-building.  A lot of fantasy in my world is influenced by these stories in some way...including the Dragon Age games."  I paused, letting them absorb the information.

Continuing, I said, "The mythology of Middle Earth begins with Eru, which means 'the one,' also known as Ilúvatar, or the 'father of all.'  He is the 'Lord for Always, who dwells beyond the world; who made it and is not of it nor in it, but loves it.'  His first creations were the Ainur, which were eternal spirits that were the offspring of his thought."  For the next few hours, I spoke of the Ainur and their Music, Ilúvatar's Vision of the World, and the rebellion of Melkor.  I told how the Ainur became the Valar and the Maiar, of the cycle of creation and destruction that passed between them and Melkor.  Solas hung onto every word, barely daring to ask me questions for clarification.

After a while, Varric yawned and said, "I've got to get some sleep, or I'll be falling out of my saddle tomorrow."

I agreed, standing with a yawn and a stretch.  Solas jumped to his feet to escort me to the room I was sharing with Sera and Cassandra.  "Will you continue to tell me the history of Middle Earth tomorrow night?" he asked hopefully as we lingered by the door.

I blushed slightly while I considered my answer.   _It wouldn't hurt too much.  He's so interested in this story, and isn't that your goal?  You're going to have to spend a lot of time with him anyway, and there's no harm in being friends..._  "Of course," I answered with a smile.  "And perhaps tomorrow, we should come up with different room arrangements.  If Varric sleeps with Cassandra and Sera, we won't be keeping anyone awake."

Now it was his turn to blush.  "Are you sure that's wise?" he said, watching me carefully.

I tried to shrug as nonchalantly as I could.  "Why not?  We already ask the inns for two rooms with five beds between them.  We'd just be shuffling around who's in which bed."

He hesitated, trying to choose his words carefully.  "But what of your reputation?" he finally said.

I laughed quietly.  "Sometimes I forget how backwards this world can be.  Don't worry about my 'reputation.'  If people want to assume I'm sleeping with you, that's their problem.  I'm sure you'll be a perfect gentleman.  Goodnight, Solas."  With that, I opened my door and slipped into my bed.

The next day, I told my companions  _The Fellowship of the Ring_.  I began with the forging of the One Ring by Sauron and told of the convoluted journey it had taken until it fell into the hands of Sméagol, who would become Gollum, eventually passing onto Bilbo Baggins.  I then began telling my companions about Frodo, his nephew, and how the ring was passed on to him.  I told of Nazgûl and Tom Bombadil.  I described how the Fellowship of the Ring came together and began the long, arduous journey to Mordor.  I told how Gandalf fell in the mines of Moria to a Balrog.  I told of how they met Galadriel and Celeborn in Lothlórien, a space out of time.  I told of how Boromir succumbed to the ring at Amon Hen, and the Fellowship was dissolved.

"I like these hobbit things," declared Sera as I finished that day's portion of the story.

I smiled.  "I do too.  I always identified with hobbits, myself.  Good, simple people who appreciate a good meal and good company.  I wasn't beautiful and elegant, or brave and strong, or proud, or wise...but I always loved a good conversation with an old friend.  And I always did love fireworks."

"But you are beautiful, and brave, and wise," Solas said quietly.  Cassandra, Varric, and Sera all nodded their heads in agreement, causing me to turn a lovely shade of red all the way down to my toes.

"Well...thanks," I managed to squeak awkwardly.  "I think you guys are pretty great too."

Cassandra wasn't too pleased with the new sleeping arrangements I suggested, but I barreled over her protestations with a wave of undeniable logic.  Mainly, that I was a grown woman and she wasn't the boss of me, so there!

That night, Solas and I spent many hours sitting on our beds, facing each other as I told him about the awakening of the elves and the tragic tale of the Silmarils.  I focused heavily on the story of Beren and Lúthien; the human man and the elf woman who had fallen in love with one another.  I had briefly mentioned this story earlier that day, when Aragorn told it to Frodo, but now I fleshed it out and spared no detail.  Finally, I told Solas how Lúthien gave up her immortality to live a life with Beren and to share his fate.

I paused in my telling of the story, gazing at Solas.  He quietly and contemplatively returned my stare.  Finally, he spoke.  "I have missed this...time alone with you," he finally said.  

"Me too," I quietly replied.  "Well, it's getting late.  Let's go to sleep."

The next two days passed in a similar fashion.  In the day time, I told first  _The Two Towers_ and then  _The Return of the King_.  I wrapped it up with the song "Into the West," from the movies:

_Lay down_  
_Your sweet and weary head_  
_Night is falling_  
_You’ve come to journey's end_  
_Sleep now_  
_And dream of the ones who came before_  
_They are calling_  
_From across the distant shore_  
  
_Why do you weep?_  
_What are these tears upon your face?_  
_Soon you will see_  
_All of your fears will pass away_  
_Safe in my arms_  
_You're only sleeping_  
  
_What can you see_  
_On the horizon?_  
_Why do the white gulls call?_  
_Across the sea_  
_A pale moon rises_  
_The ships have come to carry you home_  
  
_And all will turn_  
_To silver glass_  
_A light on the water_  
_All souls pass_  
  
_Hope fades_  
_Into the world of night_  
_Through shadows falling_  
_Out of memory and time_  
_Don't say: We have come now to the end_  
_White shores are calling_  
_You and I will meet again_  
  
_And you'll be here in my arms_  
_Just sleeping_  
_What can you see_  
_On the horizon?_  
_Why do the white gulls call?_  
_Across the sea_  
_A pale moon rises_  
_The ships have come to carry you home_  
  
_And all will turn_  
_To silver glass_  
_A light on the water_  
_Grey ships pass_  
_Into the West_

My companions seemed to greatly enjoy the stories, although Sera didn't care for the Ents, claiming they were too stuck up and too slow.  At any rate, the ending seemed to be satisfactory.  In the evening, Solas and I would stay up for hours as I basically told him the plot of  _The Silmarillion._ On the final evening, he asked, "If I understand correctly, the destruction of the One Ring caused magic to leave the world?"

"Well, I don't know if it caused  _all_ the magic to leave the world, but it did remove the elves' ability to withstand the effects of time.  They all had to leave for the Undying Lands or face death and mortality themselves.  Perhaps it was their leaving that caused magic to fade away, perhaps it was the destruction of the ring.  Perhaps the magic had been fading away anyway."

He pursed his lips and tilted his head in thought.  "I'm sorry.  It's just that there are so many similarities to what happened to the ancient elves in this world.  You say it might be because the 'authors' of our story were influenced by Tolkien, but I wonder..." he trailed off, lost in thought.

"What if Thedas was the Undying Lands?" I said.  "Or at least, what if it was one of them.  Obviously, there aren't any hobbits running around, and the dwarves of this world cannot do any magic.  What if 'sailing into the west' is just a flowery, poetic way of saying the elves found a new world to live in?"

"The idea is fascinating, though unlikely," he admitted.  "If it were true, anyone who could have verified it would be long dead.  At any rate, the languages do not match, nor do the descriptions of the magical abilities of the elves.  No," he sighed with disappointment, "I am fairly certain that there is no direct connection between Middle Earth and Thedas."

"Well, there's some kind of connection between Thedas and my world, at least," I said.  "All I have to do is find it and figure out how to get home.  After, of course, I save the world and close a giant hole in the sky.  Simple, right?"

He gave me a sad smile.  "I have every confidence that you will seal the Breach," he said.  "But what will you do if you cannot return to your world?"

"I've actually given this some thought," I said, giving him a sad smile of my own.  "I'll politely excuse myself from the Inquisition, and naturally, they will let me go without a fuss.  Then I'll buy a boat, pick a direction, and sail as far as I can.  Hopefully, I'll hit a patch of land no one's discovered yet and live out the rest of my days in relative peace.  Maybe I'll take a friend or two along so I don't get lonely."

Solas chuckled at my answer.  "There are worse fates than living in peace with friends.  It is late; we should get some rest.  Good night, Amy."

"Sweet dreams, Solas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Silmarillion - JRR Tolkien  
> Into the West lyrics - Fran Walsh, Howard Shore, Annie Lennox


	18. The Tale of Ellana Lavellan

Our journey back to Haven was largely uneventful.  I swapped dirty songs and rhymes with Sera; she was particularly impressed by "Susie had a Steamboat" and "There once was a man from Nantucket."  I was already regretting teaching her "The Song That Never Ends," which my companions berated me for loudly and often.

Surprisingly, our new sleeping arrangements were maintained as we continued to travel.  I suspected that Cassandra had overcome her fear for my reputation and was instead trying her hand a match-making.  That woman was going to get her happy romantic story one way or another.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that Solas and I did nothing but talk in the evenings.  He was exceedingly careful to give me my space, deliberately avoiding any physical contact.   _He treats me like a spooked horse_ , I wryly thought more than once.  In a sense, it was working.  I was slowly relaxing in his company and enjoying our conversations.  Even though we both knew that there was an intense attraction between us, nothing but the most innocent and platonic friendship was offered.  It was exactly what I needed.

Finally, after being away for over a month, we returned to Haven.  We were greeted by a cheering crowd full of familiar faces, along with a few new ones I didn't recognize.  I smiled and greeted my friends, so glad to be back.  I gave the children a few toys I had purchased in Val Royeaux, laughing as they squealed with glee.  I spotted the scowling face of Chancellor Roderick in the midst of the crowd.  I made my way over to him and gave him a big bear hug.

"It's so good to see you again!" I said as cheerfully as I could.

He jerked away, but his scowl became a little less severe.  "Here, I got you this illuminated copy of the Chant of Light," I said, handing him the gift I had carefully selected for him.

"I already have a copy of the Chant of Light," he grumbled, although he accepted my gift and eyed it appreciatively.

"I would have brought you some of the famous frilly cakes,"I lowered my voice conspiratorially, "but Solas ate them all!"  I was rewarded by the sound of one bald elf sputtering with embarrassment.  Laughing, I winked and said, "Besides, they probably wouldn't have kept for the long journey."  Finally, FINALLY, my efforts paid off and the corner of Chancellor Roderick's mouth twitched upward just the slightest bit.

Before I could bask for too long in the glow of my success, Leliana appeared at my side.  "Herald, welcome back!  I am glad to see you are well.  We have much to discuss, would you mind accompanying me to the War Room?"

I bid farewell to the crowd, then turned to follow Leliana.  Solas, Cassandra, and Varric trailed behind me.  Sera had disappeared somewhere, which I figured was just as well.  Once we were in the War Room, Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana discussed strategy and tactics while we planned our next moves.  Cullen was pushing for an alliance with the Templars, which I understood.  "Look," I said, sighing.  "Some of the Templars might be convinced to join us, and I would welcome them into our ranks with open arms.  But I am not about to abandon the mages.  They may have gone about rebellion in a less than ideal way, but I cannot fault them for their reasons.  I will be going to recruit the mages, and any Templars who have a problem with that can remain out of the Inquisition.  I would appreciate it, though," I said, looking at Cullen, "if you would take a small party of your own and try to recruit them."

He nodded his acceptance of my plan, and we moved on.  One of Leliana's people had seen a Grey Warden in the Hinterlands, and she thought we should recruit him.   _Blackwall,_ I thought.  "Of course, we should go to recruit him right away.  I'm very fond of the Grey Wardens," I said.

"There is a matter I would like to discuss," I continued.  "I would like to hire some tutors to come to Haven and teach the children who are here.  Hopefully, we will have more children soon, and I would like for them to be educated.  Later, when we have time, I would like to build a school.  In fact, eventually, I would like for the Inquisition to build several schools throughout the land.  I realize that this will take years and years to implement, but I would like to start laying the groundwork now.  A properly educated populace would benefit everyone."

Josephine protested about the lack of resources, but Leliana managed to convince her that we had enough to hire a handful of tutors.  "Thank you," I said.  "Was there anything else?"

"Yes.  A group of our soldiers has been captured and is being held hostage in the Fallow Mire," said Leliana.  "Their captor is the son of an Avvar chieftain, and he wishes to face you in battle before he will release them."

"He...wants to fight me?  Why?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Josephine sighed and answered my question, even though it had been directed at Leliana.  "He thinks that defeating the Herald of Andraste will bring him power and prestige among his people."

I blinked, then said, "Alright then, if it's a fight he wants, it's a fight he'll get.  We'll swing through the Hinterlands, grab the Warden, and then continue on down to the Fallow Mire to save our soldiers.  Is there anything else?"

Leliana hesitated, glancing around the small crowd in the room.  "There is something else, Herald.  We made contact with Clan Lavellan.  Perhaps...perhaps it would be best to receive this news in private," she said, looking at the others significantly. 

They all took the hint, and filed out of the room.  When we were alone, Leliana took a deep breath and said, "My agents made contact with the clan.  They are in the midst of some conflict with the humans in the area, but they still received my people.  It seems your name was once Ellana Lavellan."  She paused, searching my face for some sort of recognition.  

When she found none, she continued.  "Ordinarily, the Dalish would be reluctant to speak so openly with outsiders, but it seems that many members of the clan are...upset with their Keeper.  From what my agents gathered, Ellana was an orphan.  Her mother died in childbirth while she was a young girl; her father passed away right before she received her vallaslin.  She has no surviving siblings.  Her father was a master craftsman and he taught her his craft.  She was very skilled at making weapons, particularly bows.  She was well-liked within the clan.  A few years ago, she caught the attention of the First."

Leliana paused again, searching for the right words.  "Dalish Keepers are not typically permitted to marry," she finally said, "although they may form romantic relationships.  Deshanna, the Keeper of your clan, was an unusual case.  Her sister and brother-in-law died many years ago, leaving her to raise her nephew as her own.  The boy had magical abilities and became her First.  When his eye fell on you...I mean, Ellana, she rejected his advances.  He...forced her."

"You mean he raped her," I stated, refusing her attempts at sugar-coating.

Leliana released a shaky breath I hadn't realized she was holding.  "Repeatedly," she confirmed.

"What happened next?" I asked, idly tracing the scars that were hidden beneath my leather armor.   _The poor girl_.

"Ordinarily, the boy would have been punished.  He might have been executed or at the very least, exiled from the clan and branded with a mark that let other clans know he was a rapist.  But since he was the First, and the Keeper had raised him as her own son..." Leliana trailed off.

"He got away with it," I said flatly, feeling a righteous anger coiling within my gut.

"The rest of the clan was pretty upset by the situation.  There were talks of rebellion and some of the hunters were thinking of taking matters into their own hands.  When Keeper Deshanna heard of the Conclave and sent Ellana to spy on it, many believed it was to defuse the tension in the clan.  Some thought it was a kindness towards Ellana, so that she did not have to face her rapist every single day."

She grasped my hands, staring kindly into my eyes.  "If there is any scrap of a silver lining to this horrible situation, it is that Clan Lavellan will not try to seek you out.  They were not surprised when my agents told them you wished to remain here."

"A small consolation indeed," I said, though I knew she was right.

I sat with her silently for a few moments while she let me absorb the information.  Finally, I stood and hugged her.  She returned my embrace without hesitation.  "Thank you for telling me, Leliana.  I swear, by everything I am, I will find a way to get Ellana back in her body."

Leliana pursed her lips.  "Is that really the wisest course of action?  You have proven to be a very charismatic leader, and..."

"It's the right thing to do," I interrupted her, daring her to contradict me.

She nodded.  "I understand.  My agents will search for any more information they can find.  In any case, you need to get cleaned up and ready for tonight.  There is a small celebration planned for your return to Haven.  It will be in the tavern at dinner time."  With that, she squeezed my shoulder and left me to my thoughts.

I lingered for only a moment, leaving the War Room and making my way out of the Chantry, intending to walk around the town and finish making my rounds.  As I walked out the door, a young man called out to me, "Excuse me!  I've got a message for the Inquisition, but I'm having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me."

 _Krem!_ I squeed internally.  "Who are you, soldier?" I asked as brusquely as I could.

"Cremisius Aclassi, with the Bull's Chargers Mercenary Company.  We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra.  We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast.  My company commander, Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge.  If you'd like to see what the Bull's Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work."

I hoped I was suppressing my grin as I asked him a few token questions about Bull and the Chargers.  "We will consider your offer," I said, "although it may be several weeks before I make it to the Storm Coast.  I have a pressing matter of some soldiers to rescue down in the Fallow Mire."

Krem nodded.  "That works.  We're the best you'll find.  When you're ready, come up to the Storm Coast and see us in action, you'll see."

I thanked him once again for his offer, then started to walk around Haven.  Harritt proudly presented me with the compound bow he had made from my rough sketches.  I gladly accepted it and fired a few practice rounds into a target, earning a round of cheers from the small crowd of onlookers.  "What masterful craftsmanship," I complimented him.

"I've made a half-dozen more so far," he said.  "The archers really like them.  They say they can fire for longer periods of time with the lighter draw."

"Wonderful," I grinned.  "Keep up the good work."

I made my way to Adan's cabin, bringing him the supplies and recipes I had acquired in Val Royeaux.  He gruffly thanked me, and then said, "At least you managed not to get yourself killed.  I wouldn't want to have to bring you back from the dead... _again_."  I laughed, knowing it was his way of showing me he cared.  Minaeve was there as well, so I gave her the few animal samples I had collected on the way.

"It's not much..." I said.

"I'll get right on it," she replied.  "I already came up with some improvements from the last samples you brought from the Hinterlands."

The rest of the afternoon continued in a similar manner.  I walked around, greeting those I knew and meeting those I did not.  Finally, it was time for me to make my way to the tavern.  I quickly ducked into my cabin to wash up and change into fresh clothes before walking over to the Singing Maiden.

When I entered, the entire building erupted into cheers.  Everyone was there, save for the soldiers who were keeping watch.  A mug of ale was forced into my hand and hands clapped on my shoulders.  I blushed at the attention, pleased and embarrassed.  I was ushered to a table, a heaping plate of food placed in front of me.  Music floated over the crowd as everyone started to eat.

"We have a bard now!" I exclaimed, craning my neck to get a glimpse.  Sure enough, there was Maryden, strumming away.

I ate and ate until I was sure I would burst.  I managed to drink the ale without grimacing too much, feeling a pleasant warmth spreading throughout my body.  People started pushing the tables towards the walls, clearing out a large space for dancing.  At first, I remained seated, tapping my feet in time to the music.  Soon, I was tugged to my feet by a laughing horse-master Dennet.

He ignored my protestations that I did not know the steps, and soon I found myself twirling and stumbling and laughing as I passed from partner to partner.  The ale helped me relax, and the steps were simple enough that I could learn them after a few tries.  It was much easier than the elvhen dancing I had experienced in the Fade.  

Everyone seemed to want a turn dancing with the Herald of Andraste.  My efforts to sit down were in vain, but for some reason, I didn't mind all that much.  I spotted Leliana and Josephine giggling as they tried to do formal Orlesian dances to the spirited folk music.  Varric was dancing admirably for someone who had consumed so much ale, and Sera was twirling around with mirthful abandon.  Then I saw Solas leaning against the wall, watching me dance with a peaceful smile on his face.  The tips of his ears tinged pink as I made eye contact and caught him staring.

I made my way over to him with a smile.  "Come dance with me," I said, holding out my hand.

He shook his head, raising his own hands in protest.  "I do not know the steps," he said.

"Neither do I," I replied grabbing his arm and tugging him towards the dance floor.  "But I still want to dance with you."

He protested a bit more, although he did not resist my pulling and soon we found ourselves in the middle of the crowd.  Our arms twined around each other's waists, and we twirled around in time to the music.  We switched partners occasionally, but we always came back to each other.  Soon, Solas was laughing and relaxing and enjoying himself, much to my delight.  The exertion of dancing caused the pinkness in the tips of his ears to spread pleasantly throughout the rest of his face.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cassandra whispering to Maryden.  Abruptly, the music switched from an upbeat, cheerful jig to a slow, romantic tune.   _That interfering woman; another attempt at match-maker, no doubt._ Before I could react, Solas smoothly pulled me flush against his chest, wrapping one arm behind me and clasping my hand with the other.  His grip was firm and steady as he lead me in the dance.  I relaxed and let my feet follow where he lead.

I was overwhelmed by a flood of sensations.  Our bodies were pressed close together, and I could tell that beneath the hobo apostate robes, Solas was hiding some well-toned muscles.  His pleasantly earthy scent flooded my nostrils, and I found myself gazing into his soulful blue eyes.  I lost my breath and felt a shiver pass through my body as we moved in lazy circles.  The crowd and the music faded away, until there was nothing in the world but me and him, locked together in a simple dance.  For a moment, I felt like we were both completely vulnerable, wearing our pain and desire openly on our faces.

When the song ended and we stopped moving, everything came flooding back at once.  I was dimly aware of some whistles and cheers from the crowd.  Solas stepped back with a carefully controlled smile, his polite mask slipping back into place.  He bowed, and then kissed the back of my hand and thanked me for the dance.  The faster music started up again, and I was whisked off to dance with another partner.  When I managed to turn my head to search for him, Solas was gone.   _It's for the best_ , I told myself, although I had a strong urge to chase after him.

 _I need to distract myself_ , I thought.  My eye fell on Chancellor Roderick, hovering at the edge of the crowd.  He saw my predatory grin a moment too late.  "Chancellor Roderick!  Come join me for this dance!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from Bioware
> 
> Blackwall...coming soon, to a story near you! :)


	19. East of the Sun, West of the Moon

We lingered in Haven for nearly a week before we left for the Hinterlands again, gathering supplies and resting our mounts.  The day before we were set to leave, Vivienne arrived.  I told her to rest and settle into Haven, and we would take her with us when we went to the Storm Coast.

"As you wish, my dear," she said airily, but I could tell she was relieved to rest after her long journey.

Once again, a cheering crowd gathered to see us depart.   _I could get used to this kind of treatment._ My four companions and I traveled in pleasant silence for a while, until Sera started making some fart noises with her mouth, giving us all a good laugh.

"Enjoying the Inquisition so far, Buttercup?" Varric asked Sera.

"Oh sure, right?  Happy as a pig in clover," she answered.

"Shit," Varric said.

"What?"

"The phrase is commonly 'happy as a pig in shit,'" he explained.

Sera wrinkled her nose.  "Really?  Eugh.  Nature's rubbish."

Varric threw back his head and laughed.  "No argument there," he agreed.

We all rode on for a few more moments.  "Alright, why 'Buttercup?'" Sera finally asked.

"You seem the type.  Or not exactly the type.  I forget how these things are supposed to work sometimes," he replied.

Sera eyed him suspiciously.  "You don't forget anything," she accused.

"And that's why you're Buttercup," he answered smugly.

Sera rolled her eyes in irritation, but I could see the corner of her mouth quirk upwards slightly.  She nudged her mount ahead to go bother Solas.  The two of them had taken to bickering lately, and no one could quite get him to throw his hands up in frustration like Sera.

Ever since the celebration and dancing, Solas had been studiously avoiding me.  He had come to me in the Fade most nights in his wolf form, but even then he had been slightly aloof and distant.  That evening, when we made camp, he placed his pack in the tent Varric had already chosen.  Cassandra noticed and frowned slightly, but said nothing.

Bright and early the next day, we made our way to the area where the Grey Warden had last been sighted.  As we approached, we could hear a strong voice call out, "They will make this a fight, not us!  Line there...and there!  No gaps!"

A burly man with the most amazing beard I had ever seen was walking up and down a line of recruits, giving orders and instructions.  "Remember how to carry your shields!  You're not hiding, you're holding.  Otherwise, it's useless!"

Clearing my throat to announce our presence, I said, "Blackwall?  Warden Blackwall?"

Whirling towards me, he said, "You're not...How do you know my name?  Who sent..."  _Thwack!_  He was interrupted by an arrow, instinctively raising his shield to block it.

A group of bandits charged into the clearing, and Blackwall said, "That's it.  Help or get out.  We're dealing with these idiots first!"  Turning to the men behind him, he said, "Conscripts!  Here they come!"  With a primal yell, he led them into battle.  

A quick and bloody skirmish ensued.  When the dust settled, Blackwall dismissed his recruits, telling them to recover what had been stolen and return to their families.  He turned back to me and eyed me warily.  "You're no farmer.  Why do you know my name?  Who are you?"

I gave him my most disarming smile.  "I know your name because I'm an agent of the Inquisition," I replied.  "I'm investigating whether the disappearance of the Wardens has anything to do with the murder of the Divine."   _Although it turns out that they have EVERYTHING to do with her murder_ , I thought wryly.

"Maker's balls, the Wardens and the Divine?" he said, pacing back and forth.  "That can't...no, you're asking, so you don't really know."  He took a deep breath, then calmly continued, "First off, I didn't know they disappeared, but we do that, right?  No more Blight, job done, Wardens are the first thing forgotten.  But one thing I'll tell you: no Warden killed the Divine.  Our purpose isn't political."

I held up my hands.  "I'm not accusing the Wardens.  Not yet.  I just need information.  I've only found you.  Where are the rest?"

He shrugged.  "I haven't seen any Wardens for months.  I travel alone, recruiting.  Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead, and no need to conscript because there's no Blight coming.  Treaties give the Wardens the right to take what we need.  These idiots forced this fight, so I 'conscripted' their victims.  They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand.  Next time, they won't need me.  Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are."

I gave him a tight-lipped smile.  "Well, this has been inspiring, Warden Blackwall, but it didn't really help me at all.  Good day to you."  With that, I turned smartly on my heel and strode away.

I made it a dozen paces before he called after me.  "Inquisition...agent, did you say?  Hold a moment."

I turned back towards him.  "Yes?" 

"The Divine is dead, the sky is torn.  Events like these, thinking we're absent is almost as bad as thinking we're involved."  I remained silent, waiting for him to continue.  "If you're trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden.  Maybe you need me."

I smiled warmly.  "Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition accepts your offer."

His chest puffed out slightly.  "Good to hear.  We both need to know what's going on, and perhaps I've been keeping to myself for too long.  This Warden walks with the Inquisition."

"Excellent," I said.  "And before we go much further, there are a few things you should know.  First, I am not just an agent of the Inquisition.  Some believe me to be the Herald of Andraste, although I make no such claim."  He sucked in a breath and his eyes widened slightly, but he otherwise gave no reaction to this news.  I continued, "Also, and this is the really important bit, I'm actually from another world."  Now his eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw dropped.

"Another world?" he repeated dazedly.

"Yes, another world.  A world without magic, or elves, or dragons.  I don't know how I got here or in this body, but I'm here now, and this world needs saving.  Apparently, this," I said, waving my green glowing hand around, "means I'm the only one who can save it.  So here we are."

He looked to Cassandra.  "Is she touched?" he asked, tapping his temple.

It was Sera who leapt to my defense.  "She's not crazy.  It's true, what she says."

Solas added, "She walked physically in the Fade.  Who can say what magic brought her here?"

Cassandra said, "I believe the Maker sent her to us in our hour of need."

While I rolled my eyes, Varric chimed in with, "It sounds crazy, but the best stories usually are."

Blackwall wrinkled his forehead in silence as he absorbed this new development.  Finally, he spoke.  "Let's say I believe you.  I take it this information hasn't been spread around too much, since this is the first I've heard of it."

I nodded.  "Just the people you see here and my three advisers back in Haven.  I want you to be part of my inner circle, one of the people I trust with my life.  Are you still interested?"

He looked at me for a long moment.  "Aye," he finally answered.  "I'll fight by your side, my lady Herald, if you'll have me."

I extended my hand to him, and as he clasped it in a firm grip, I said, "My name is Amy, although in this world I go by Ellana Lavellan."

And so Blackwall joined our little group.  We made our way south, stopping at nightfall to make camp.  I missed the comforts of an inn, but it was very pleasant to gather around a crackling campfire and eat roasted meat with my companions. 

"What's tonight's story?" asked Sera around a mouthful of nug.

"Tonight, I will tell you the tale of _East of the Sun, West of the Moon_ , " I began.  "Once, a great white bear approached a poor peasant and asked him for his youngest and prettiest daughter.  In return, the bear would make the peasant very rich.  Well, the peasant had many children, so it was a small matter to give the bear one of his daughters.  The poor girl cried and cried, but the bargain had been struck, and off she went with the bear.

"To her great surprise, he took her to a grand and opulent palace.  That night, he put out all the lights.  By the faint light of the moon, she could see him change his form from that of a bear to that of a man, but it was too dark for her to make out his features.  'There is but one rule as long as you live here,' he said as he crawled into bed with her.  'You may never light any flame during the night or gaze upon my face while I am in this form.'  The girl agreed, for what else was she to do?

"Some months passed, and the girl began to miss her family.  She begged to be allowed to visit them, but the bear warned her, 'Your sisters will surely twist your heart and steal your happiness.  You should remain here with me.'  But the girl persisted, and at last the bear relented, permitting her to return to her former home for an afternoon.

"Sure enough, her sisters were jealous of her fine gown and many jewels, of the fine carriage and many servants she had arrived with.  They began to tease her, saying how awful it must be to lie with a bear night after night.  'But I do not lie with a bear, for he turns into a man every night,' she corrected them innocently.

"'Is he handsome?' her sisters inquired.  'Truly, I do not know,' she answered, 'for I have never seen his face.'

"Now her sisters began to tease her in earnest.  'You must be lying with a troll each night!  That is the only reason he will not show you his face.'  Now the girl was troubled, but when she returned to her husband that evening, she said nothing of what her sisters had told her.

"For many nights, she lied awake next to her husband as he slept.  She ran her fingers lightly over his face, trying to discern his features.  She tried to move him into the moonbeams, but when she did, a shadow would pass over the moon and plunge the world into darkness.  Finally, one night, she snuck out of bed to light a small candle.  She was surprised to find not an ugly troll, but the most handsome prince she had ever seen.  She gasped at his beauty and could not help but lean over to give him a kiss.  Alas, when she did so, three drops of tallow fell on his shirt and woke him from his slumber.

"When he saw what she had done, he cried out in despair.  'If only you had been able to wait for one more night!' he cried.  'If you had gone for a year without seeing my face, I would have been free of my curse.  Now I must go to my wicked stepmother and marry her hideous daughter in her castle east of the sun and west of the moon.'

"The girl began to cry, so he comforted her and held her until she fell asleep.  When she awoke in the morning, she was shocked to find the palace and all her finery had disappeared in the night.  She sat and wept for a day and a night, until she had no tears left.  Then, she straightened her shoulders and began to search for her beloved.  She wandered to the edge of the kingdom, where she came across an old woman at the base of a mountain, playing with a golden apple.

"'Pardon me, grandmother,' she asked, 'but can you tell me how to get to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon?'

"'I do not know child,' said the old woman, 'but I will lend you my horse.  He will carry you to my neighbor, perhaps she will know.'  With that, she gave the girl her horse and the golden apple as well.  The girl rode the horse for a day and a night, until he brought her to the neighbor.  She was another old woman dwelling at the base of a mountain, carding wool with a golden carding comb.

"'Pardon me, grandmother,' asked the girl, 'but can you tell me how to get to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon?'

"'I do not know child,' said the old woman, 'but I will lend you my horse.  He will carry you to my neighbor, perhaps she will know.'  With that, she gave the girl her horse and the golden carding comb as well.  The girl rode the horse for three days and three nights, until he brought her to the neighbor.  She was another old woman dwelling at the base of a mountain, spinning thread on a golden spinning wheel.

"'Pardon me, grandmother,' asked the girl, 'but can you tell me how to get to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon?'

"'I do not know child,' said the old woman, 'but I will lend you my horse.  He will carry you to my neighbor, the East Wind.  Perhaps he will know.'  With that, she gave the girl her horse and the golden spinning wheel as well.  The girl rode the horse for seven days and seven nights, until he brought her to the East Wind.

"Alas, the East Wind did not know where the castle was, but he carried her to his brother, the West Wind.  The West Wind did not know where the castle was, but he carried her to his brother, the South Wind.  The South Wind did not know where the castle was, but he carried her to his brother, the North Wind, who was the oldest and the strongest of all four brothers.

"'Ah, yes, I know the castle you speak of,' he said.  'Once, when I was very young, I blew an aspen leaf there.  It was so far away that I had to rest for a day and a night after, but if you really wish to go, I will take you there.'

"And so the girl traveled to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon.  When she arrived, there were many guests and servants rushing about in preparation for a grand wedding feast.  The girl found the bride-to-be, a hideous troll princess.  She plucked the golden apple from her pocket and began to play with it.  The troll princess saw it and decided she simply must have the apple.  She asked the girl what she would have for it, and the girl answered, 'All I desire is an evening in the prince's chambers.'

"The troll princess readily agreed, for she had a deceitful plan.  Before the prince retired for the evening, she gave him a sleeping potion.  When the girl was admitted to his chambers, she shook him and shouted for him to wake up, but he slumbered on.  In the morning, she was escorted away without having spoken with him.  Again, she sought out the troll princess.  This time, she offered her golden carding comb for another evening spent in the prince's chambers.  Again, the troll princess agreed, and again the prince was given a sleeping potion.  This time, the girl left behind a note warning him not to eat or drink anything given to him by the troll princess.

"For a third time, the girl offered the troll princess her golden spinning wheel for an evening spent in the prince's chambers.  This time, he had only pretended to drink the sleeping potion, and so he was awake when the girl came to him that evening.  They fell into each other's arms, rejoicing.  Together, they came up with a plan.

"The next day, the prince declared he would only marry the woman who could scrub the tallow from his soiled shirt.  The troll princess and her mother could not do it, nor could any other woman in attendance.  Finally, the peasant's daughter came forth and dipped the shirt once beneath the water.  When she lifted it, it was so clean and white that it outshone the sun.  When the troll princess and her mother saw this, they were so filled with rage that they burst.  The prince married his true bride and they made their home in the castle east of the sun and west of the moon.  They ruled together for many long years and founded a noble dynasty, living happily ever after."

My companions smiled contentedly at the happy ending.  "Does she tell stories like this all the time?" Blackwall asked.

"Nearly every night," Cassandra answered with a smile.  "Sometimes they don't make very much sense, but they are always enjoyable.  Sometimes she sings, too."

"With a beautiful voice," chimed in Varric.

"Perhaps tomorrow night I will sing for you," I laughed.  "But for now, I'm fairly tired.  I think I'll go to bed soon.  I have the morning watch."  And with that, I bid my companions good night and slipped into my tent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue from BioWare
> 
> East of the Sun, West of the Moon = traditional Norse fairy tale
> 
> This is my very favorite fairy tale of all time, so I had to include it and type the whole thing out. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.


	20. The Worms Crawl In, The Worms Crawl Out

We traveled without much incident; our group of six seemed to be large enough that most people gave us wide berth.  I could hear Sera interrogating Solas as we rode.  "You can make magic anywhere, Solas?  Ever piss it by accident?"

"No.  Wait...no."  I couldn't suppress a snicker at his reply.

Sera was flabbergasted.  "What?!  How would you not remember something like that?"

"We were all young once," he replied calmly.  Sera shivered and nudged her mount to ride next to Blackwall.  Before long, I could hear her regaling him with bawdy tavern tales.  The sun was warm on our faces, and a gentle breeze tickled the back of my neck.  We had been following the river for the better part of a day when I heard a tell-tale rushing sound ahead.  Feeling a sudden rush of excitement, I casually volunteered to ride at the front and scout ahead.  I was happy to discover a waterfall with a deep pool that had formed at the base.  By the time my companions caught up to me, I had stripped off my armor and was poised at the edge.  I turned and gave them a cheeky grin and mock salute before I ran to the edge and launched myself into the air.  I could hear Cassandra's panicked cry of "Herald!" as I splashed into the pool below.

When I bobbed to the surface, I could see five panicked faces peeking over the edge of the waterfall.  "Come on in, the water's fine!" I called up.

Sera and Varric grinned and hurried to join me.  Cassandra, Blackwall, and Solas merely glared at me.  "That was unnecessarily dangerous," scolded Solas while Blackwall nodded in agreement.

Cassandra opened her mouth to add to his lecture, but she was interrupted as Sera and Varric flung themselves off the waterfall with joyful whoops and landed with loud splashes beside me.   _I knew I could count on my fellow rogues!_

"Oh, come on, Blackwall, I know you've got some fun in there under all that armor," I cajoled.

Sera piped up, "Yeah, come on you lot, it's fun!"

Blackwall hesitated, a mischievous twinkle beginning to appear in his eye.  "Do I have to make it an order?" I asked.

He finally cracked a grin and began stripping off his armor.  Within minutes he cannon-balled right off the waterfall.  Sera, Varric, and I laughed and splashed and swam.

"If you're quite finished wasting time..." began Cassandra.

"Sorry, can't hear you over the fun we're having!" Sera called back.

Cassandra got her own gleam in her eye.  She leaned over to Solas and whispered in his ear.  He smirked and nodded and began unhooking his staff.

"Uh oh," said Varric, and we all began to frantically swim for shore.  We weren't fast enough, and Solas began to cast ice rune after ice rune.  The temperature of the water plummeted and a thin layer of ice began to form over the top.

Varric and Blackwall managed to extricate themselves and flop onto the shore, but Sera and I were frozen in place.  "You b-b-bald-headed shite, let us g-g-go!" she chattered.

"Perhaps we should leave them there, to teach them a lesson," said Cassandra, although now her grin was matching the gleam in her eyes.

I tried to chip at the ice around my waist, but my efforts were in vain.  Sighing, I said, "Alright, Solas, let us go."

He smirked.  "I don't think so,  _da'len_.  Not until you promise to stop taking such risks with your life."

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms in front of  my chest.  "First of all, I'm not a child, so don't call me one.  I'm old enough to drink, fuck, vote, and die for my country, treat me like an adult.  Secondly, I will die of hypothermia first.  Death before dishonor!" I shouted, sticking my tongue out for good measure.

Varric shifted nervously.  "Her lips are turning blue, Chuckles."

Sera yelled, "I don't want to die of hypo-whatsit.  Let me go!"  Turning to me, she said, "Just tell him what he wants to hear.  I'm freezing!"

Blackwall said, "An oath given under duress is no true oath."

Solas scowled at me, but I just stared back, stubborn as a mule.  Finally, he rolled his eyes and conceded the battle of wills, waving his hand almost carelessly, causing the ice to melt.

Sera and I scrambled to the shore, huddling and shivering for a few moments until the hot summer sun warmed us up.  Reluctantly, Varric, Blackwall, Sera, and I gathered our armor and weapons from the top of the waterfall.  We traveled in awkward silence for the rest of the afternoon.  Solas was refusing to even look in my direction.

That evening, a muffled shout came from the men's tent.  Cassandra and I jumped up to investigate, but Sera waved for us to settle down.  "I put lizards in droopy-ears' sleeping roll.  Serves him right, the wanker."

I laughed.  "Well done," I congratulated her.  When I finally fell asleep that night, Solas met me in the Fade with a disgruntled glare.  

"I have already spoken to you about the risks you take with your life.  You are the only hope we have to seal the Breach.  Would you risk the fate of the world for a few moments of fun?"

I groaned.  "Oh, come on.  Jumping off a waterfall is the least dangerous thing I've done all week.  If I don't blow off a little steam every now and then, I'll go crazy.  I used to do stuff like that all the time at home."

He stared at me before replying.  "I just don't want you to get hurt," he finally said.

I ruffled his fur, which caused him to growl softly in annoyance.  "I don't want to get hurt either, Mr. Wolf."  I sat next to him and flung my arm around his shoulders.  We stayed that way in silence for quite some time.

"What would happen, if I fail to seal the Breach?" I asked?

"The Veil would eventually collapse, and the Fade would spill into the physical world," he replied.

"Why is that such a bad thing?" I asked.  "I mean, the Fade is a pretty awesome place.  Sure, there's bad stuff, but it's not like the physical world of Thedas is any prize either."

He considered his words carefully when he answered.  "For one thing, the Fade and the spirits within it are shaped by the thoughts and intentions of the people who dwell in the physical world.  You are the very rare exception; your dreams are largely pleasant and you do not inherently fear the Fade.  Spirits who suddenly find themselves thrust into the physical world are extra vulnerable to corruption.  It doesn't help that most people are extremely prejudiced against them.  Everyone would suddenly have access to magic, the ability to shape their reality.  Mages would become exponentially more powerful.  Kingdoms would collapse and it would be every man for himself.  Chaos would reign and the world would burn."

I nodded.  "The way you describe it, it sounds like the Veil is a dam that holds back the Fade, and if it were to be completely removed the world would be flooded with Fade, so to speak."

"A crude way of putting it, but essentially, yes."

"Well, what if there was a way to let the Fade trickle through slowly?  Like turning on a faucet or slowly draining a reservoir.  Spirits and people could gradually adjust; no need for chaos.  According to every legend I've read or heard about this world, the Veil didn't always exist, which means the world was able to exist that way once before."

He glanced at me sharply.  "The Breach must be sealed," he warned.

"Don't worry," I reassured him.  "I'm still going to seal the Breach.  I was just...wondering.  I like the Fade.  It would be nice if it was there when I was awake, too."  Yes, I was blatantly pandering to him.  It appeared to be working.

"If you knew how special and rare you are,  _falon,_ you would be more careful with your life," he said.

I rolled my eyes.  "I am careful.  But I won't stop living for fear of death.  Honestly, between you and Solas and Cassandra, it's a miracle I'm allowed to venture outside at all."

The next morning, as we were packing up our camp, I made a point to approach Solas.  " _I am sorry if I have offended you, my friend.  I appreciate your efforts and your protection,"_ I said in my best elvhen.

" _There is nothing to apologize for,"_ he answered, his face softening.  " _I apologize for treating you like a child.  I will not do it again."_

I smiled.  "Don't make promises you can't keep," I teased lightly.

"Eurgh!  Elves being elfy...who could have seen that one coming," Sera groused.

Once we were on the road, Solas nudged his mount so that he rode next to Sera.  "Have you ever had any interest in learning magic, Sera?  While it has not manifested naturally, there are ways to determine whether arcane gifts lie dormant within you."

"What?  Don't make me think about that.  I have to sleep at night!" she exclaimed.

"Sleeping would give you the chance to explore the Fade.  I could introduce you to spirits."

She balked at that.  "Right, you're messing with me on purpose!"

"Why would I do that?" he asked innocently, his eyes gleaming.  "It's not as though I know  _who_ filled my bedroll with lizards."

Sera threw her head back and laughed.  "Heh.  Fair point.  That was pretty good."  With that, she moved so that she was riding near Blackwall once more.

I moved Basil so I could take her place by Solas' side.  "Did you mean that, or were you just messing with Sera?" I asked.

"Mean what?" he asked, distractedly.

"Can you see if I have dormant magic?  Introduce me to spirits?"

Now I had his attention.  His head whipped towards me and he looked at me shrewdly.  "I could try," he said cautiously, "although there would be a slight risk to your life.  I would prefer that we put off any such inquiry until the Breach has been sealed."

I agreed, thrumming with excitement.  What if I could do magic?  That would be amazing!  I spent the next few days of our journey fantasizing about the kind of magic I might do.  As we traveled, the land began to change.  Gloomy weather began to settle over us, filling our days with mist and fog, eventually turning into a persistent rain.

I took advantage of the gloomy atmosphere.  I told my companions some spooky tales, like  _Dracula_ and  _Frankenstein._  There weren't any vampires in Thedas; the closest thing they had were hunger demons.  Solas and Blackwall seemed amused by all the rules vampires seemed to be bound by.  "Seems like they would be rather easy to dispatch," said Blackwall.  

The tale of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster drew more sympathy than fear from most of the group, Sera excluded.  She declared the whole thing to be "creepy" and "unnatural."

On one particularly spooky night, I sang _The Hearse Song_ to my friends.  I made my voice as thin and creepy as I could manage, then began:

_Don't ever laugh when a hearse goes by,_   
_For you may be the next to die._   
_They wrap you up in a big white sheet_   
_From your head down to your feet._

_They put you in a big black box_   
_And cover you up with dirt and rocks,_   
_And all goes well for about a week,_   
_And then your coffin begins to leak._

_And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,_   
_The worms play pinochle on your snout._   
_They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,_   
_They eat the jelly between your toes._

_A big green worm with rolling eyes,_   
_Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes,_   
_Your stomach turns a slimy green,_   
_And pus pours out like whipping cream._

_You spread it on a slice of bread,_   
_And that's what you eat when you're dead!_

_And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in,_   
_The ones that crawl in are lean and thin._   
_The ones that crawl out are fat and stout._   
_Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out._

_Your brain comes tumbling down your snout._

_And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,_   
_They crawl all over your dirty snout._   
_Your chest caves in and your eyes pop out_   
_And your brain turns to sauerkraut._

_They invite their friends, and their friends too._   
_They all come down to chew on you._   
_And this is what it is to die,_   
_I hope you had a nice good-bye!_

_Did you ever think as a hearse goes by_   
_That you may be the next to die?_   
_Your eyes fall out and your teeth decay,_   
_And that is the end of a perfect day._

"Well, I won't be eating any more dinner tonight," said Cassandra with a look of disgust.

"What's pinochle?" asked Varric.

"Oh...it's a card game on Earth," I explained.  "Played with a special deck of cards."

"That...was disgusting," said Sera

"It was a children's rhyme on Earth," I said with a wicked grin.  "Don't tell me a bunch of big strong warriors like yourselves can't handle it."

"Oh, we can handle it," said Blackwall.  "It's just...why?"

I cackled with malicious glee.  "Well, you lot better get some sleep.  We reach the Fallow Mire tomorrow.  I'll take the first watch.  Pleasant dreams!"  I chortled as I hummed the tune to myself, basking in the chorus of groans from my companions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue by BioWare
> 
> The Hearse Song - Unknown original author, I used the Harley Poe version. Pleasant memories from my childhood. :)


	21. Bluebeard

We found Scout Harding waiting for us, looking as wet and miserable as we felt.  She informed us of the situation with the missing soldiers, and I barely suppressed the urge to squeeze her adorable cheeks.

We began the long trek down the marked path, one of the few pieces of solid ground in the swamp.  "Who even lives out here?" I wondered aloud as we slogged through the muck.

A group of bloated corpses had risen from the water and staggered towards us.  "Just to be clear, what are the rules for zombies in this world?" I asked as I fired my arrows into the shambling horde.

"Rules?  Zombies?" asked Cassandra as she swung her sword.

"Like if they bite you, do you turn into one?  Do you need to decapitate them or burn them to kill them?" I clarified as I continued to fire.

"You will not turn into an animated corpse if one of them bites you," Solas answered.  "As for killing them, decapitation is not necessary, but they do take a bit more damage than the living before they go down."  _How does he manage to look so elegant and cool in the middle of battle?_

Eventually, the last of the corpses fell and we continued on our merry way.    We came to a beacon, which Solas moved to light with veilfire.  Naturally, this attracted a group of demons.

"Of course this world has demons, but no angels," I groused.  Being cold and wet had put me in a foul mood.

"What's an angel?" Sera asked, firing arrows by my side.

"Beings of spirit and light and energy.  Wings and halos."  I fired an arrow of my own.   "They serve God and sometimes pass along his messages.  Teachings are a bit vague," I admitted.  "Demons in my world are thought to be fallen angels who rebelled against God.  Of course, most people don't think either of them exist."

"Well, demons exist here, that's for sure," grunted Varric as he put a bolt through one.

Finally, we all stood panting in the pale light of the veilfire, the demons defeated.  "This should allow our soldiers to move through this area safely," said Blackwall.

"My mother told me everyone has a guardian angel watching over them," I said.  Throwing my head back, I shouted to the sky, "By the way, if you're real, you're doing a really shitty job!"  Sera and Blackwall snorted.

Sighing, I said, "Come on.  The faster we rescue these soldiers, the faster we can get out of this infernal rain."

"As I recall, you enjoy walking in the rain," Solas smirked.

I shot him a glare, but his face was the picture of innocence.  "I do enjoy walking in the rain," I admitted.  "I'm a bit less fond of fighting and sleeping in it, though.  And this rain is just so damn cold!"

We lit a couple more beacons, fighting off the demons that sprang up when we did so.  Soon, we came to a rift.  A burly Avvar was observing the rift from a distance.  He continued to observe as we hacked our way through the demons that came pouring out of it.  _Don't bother helping us or anything_ , I thought bitterly as I raised my hand to seal the rift.  No matter how many rifts I sealed, it still hurt to use the anchor.

"So you're the Herald of Andraste.  My kin want you dead, lowlander, but it's not my job.  No fears from me," he said.

"I thought the Avvar wanted to fight me," I replied.

"Our chieftain's son wants to fight you.  I'm called in when the dead pile up.  Rites to the gods, mending for the bleeding, a dagger for the dying.  That's what I do.  I don't pick up a blade for a whelp's trophy hunt."

"So...what are you doing out here?" I asked.

"Trying to figure out this hole in the world.  Never seen anything like its like.  They spit out angry spirits.  What the sky's trying to tell us, I don't know."

"They're caused by the Breach in the sky.  It was some kind of magic gone wrong," I answered.

He scoffed.  "I know that, lowlander.  I'm talking about the Lady of the Skies.  Do you not know her?  Can't you see the warnings she writes through the bird flocks in the air?"

"Interesting how widely Ferelden beliefs diverge," remarked Solas.

"Call me Ferelden again, elf, and see how far you get!" snapped the Sky Watcher.

Solas bowed his head submissively and stepped back.  "The other Avvar kidnapped an Inquisition patrol.  Are they alright?" I asked.

"A few were injured in the skirmish, but they were alive, last I saw.  Someone's trained them well.  They killed more of us than I thought they would," he replied.

I smiled.  "I'll pass your compliments along to Cullen.  Are they still being held in that castle?" I asked, pointing in the general direction.

He nodded in response.  "Well, good-bye then," I said, turning to leave.

"Watch the water," he said cryptically as we walked away.

We continued our approach, fighting our way through undead, demons, and the occasional Avvar warriors.  Finally, we made it to the dilapidated castle at the end of the path.  A crowd of undead and Avvar warriors greeted us.  We cleared a path to the gate, sealing the undead outside the castle and opening a path to continue inward.  At last, we reached some kind of main hall.  Perhaps it had been grand once, but now it was half-collapsed and in ruins. 

"Herald of Andraste!  Face me!  I am the Hand of Korth himself!" bellowed a huge man wearing horns on his head.

"Who's Korth?" I asked, confused.

"You will meet the Mountain Father soon enough, when you fall to me in battle!"  With a roar, he raised a giant hammer and began to charge straight at me.

Panicking, I grabbed an arrow and fired at his head.  To my surprise, it lodged firmly in his eye.  He stumbled to a stop, clasping a disbelieving hand over the shaft protruding from his eye.  Slowly, he toppled over.  His companions stood still in shock for a moment, but they quickly recovered and attacked our little group.  After a brief and bloody skirmish, we emerged victorious.

"Well...that was easier than I thought it would be," I said.  "Come on, let's go find those soldiers."

They were locked in a small room off to the side.  The soldiers were all exceptionally grateful and slightly awed that the "Herald of Andraste" herself had rescued them.  I accepted their thanks as graciously as I could, although being cold, wet, and exhausted made that a bit difficult.  Solas quietly started tending to the wounded.

Eventually, all the soldiers had filed out and started making their way back to Haven.  As we began to leave the castle, we ran into the Watcher of the Skies again.

"Your god looks after you, Herald," he greeted me with a hint of amusement.

"Agree to disagree," I answered with amusement of my own.

He looked behind me.  "There lies the brat.  His father, chief of our holding, would duel me for the loss, if he cared enough."

"The Inquisition has a purpose your chief lacks," I said evenly. 

"Is this why the Lady of the Skies sent me here?" he mused.  "To help heal the wounds in her skin?  Aye, I'll join you.  Let me make peace with my kin, and I'll find where you set your flag."

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Amund," he answered.

"I am pleased to have you join us, Amund."

As we left the castle, I turned to my companions and said, "Let's stay in one of these abandoned cabins.  A roof and four walls will be nice, and it will be warmer than the tents."

They readily agreed with my suggestion.  We made our way to one of the cabins and started getting set up inside.  I managed not to cry with relief, but only just.  My spirits were lifted even further as we found ourselves sitting around a crackling fireplace later that evening.  I stripped off my armor and laid it out to dry, then filled my stomach with roasted nug.

"How 'bout a story?" Sera called out from across the room. 

"Very well," I said.  "How about the tale of Bluebeard?  Bluebeard was a wealthy lord with many fine holdings and treasures, and of course, a blue beard.  He had been married several times, but each time his wife disappeared shortly after the wedding in mysterious circumstances.  Most women were wary of becoming his wife, but his fortune was so vast that he was always able to find an aristocrat willing to give away a daughter for the promise of a high bride price.

"Bluebeard brought his newest wife to home to his castle.  It was filled with the finest tapestries and ornate furniture.  She was given an elaborate wardrobe and case upon case of fine gems.  Bluebeard told his pretty young wife that she may go anywhere in the castle, except for one room.  He gave her the keys to the castle, and for a time she was quite happy with her new fine trappings.

"But she could not get the forbidden room out of her mind.  She would crouch by the keyhole, trying in vain to peek inside.  One day, Bluebeard announced that he would be going on a long journey and leaving his young wife alone in the castle.  As soon as he was out of sight, she opened the door to the forbidden room.  She screamed in terror when she saw what was within.

"The room contained all the corpses of Bluebeard's previous wives.  Each had been brutally murdered.  The floor was covered with blood.  Indeed, when the young wife screamed, she accidentally dropped the key to the forbidden room, and it was stained with the blood.  She quickly gathered her wits, and grabbed the key and locked the room once more.  But she found that no matter how hard she tried, she could not scrub the blood from the key.

"The young wife sent a message to her brothers, telling them what she had seen, and waited for her husband to return.  When Bluebeard returned, he demanded the keys to the castle.  He inspected them one by one, and when he found the key covered in blood, he flew into a rage.  He declared that he would kill his disobedient wife, and that she would join his other wives in the forbidden room.

"The young wife agreed that she deserved no less than death, but she pleaded with Bluebeard to give her but an hour to pray and prepare her soul.  He granted her request, and the young wife went to pray loudly in the tallest tower of the castle.  In the distance, she could see her brothers riding to meet her.  After an hour had passed, Bluebeard pounded on the door, saying that his wife had had plenty of time to prepare her soul.

"She merely raised her voice and prayed all the louder, alerting her brothers to her location.  They arrived just in time, and slew the villainous Bluebeard.  The young wife now found herself to be a very wealthy widow.  She used her wealth to raise her family to prominence, and when she next married, it was for love.  She and her new husband lived happily together until the end of their days."

"Do you always tell such creepy stories?" asked Blackwall.

Laughing, I answered, "No.  Not usually.  But this place...the rain, the gloom, it practically begs for creepy, scary stories."

Varric chuckled and clapped me on the back.  "A storyteller after my own heart."

I stood, stretching and yawning as I twisted this way and that, releasing a chorus of crackles and pops from my spine.  "Well, I'm calling it a night.  Wake me when it's my watch."

With that, I flopped onto my bedroll and snuggled in.  My companions followed suit, except for Varric, who was taking the first watch.  Somehow, Solas' bedroll had ended up next to mine, with Sera's on my other side.  He fell asleep almost immediately.  Even though I was exhausted, I took advantage of the rare opportunity to stare at him for as long as I wanted.  Then sleep claimed me, and I went to join him in the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from BioWare
> 
> Bluebeard = traditional French folktale


	22. Meeting Iron Bull

We returned to Haven shortly thereafter, and I took a few days to take care of some business.  I spoke to my advisers and made my rounds with the soldiers and civilians.  As soon as possible, I prepared to leave for the Storm Coast.  I decided to take Sera, Blackwall, and Vivienne with me.  Naturally, Solas, Cassandra, and Varric protested at being left behind, but I cut them off, saying, "I don't want to hear it.  You guys have been traipsing around with me since the beginning.  Now, it should take us a week to get there and another week to get back, plus another day or two to get the coast in order.  I want you to use those two weeks to rest and relax...as much as one can relax in Haven.  I'll have a perfectly capable mage, rogue, and warrior; don't worry, I'll be fine."

They grumbled, but accepted my decision.  Privately, I thought that I could use a break myself, but I knew that wasn't going to happen.  The least I could do was make sure my friends got a reprieve every now and then.  When it was time, our little party of four made our way out of Haven, sent off by a crowd of well-wishers.  I did my best to ignore the tug on my heart as I rode past Solas.  I wasn't overly fond of the idea of leaving him behind for two weeks, but I reminded myself that I'd still get to see him in the Fade.

Within an hour of being on the road, I was seriously regretting my choice in party members.  Vivienne made snide comments designed to needle Sera and Blackwall.  They, in turn, amped each other up and retaliated in kind.  At first, I tried my hand at peacekeeping, trying to mitigate the verbal sparring and soothe wounded egos.  Eventually, I gave up, riding in silence while the barbed words flew around me.  I tried to concentrate on my plans for upcoming events, but I kept getting distracted by the arguing and sniping.  As the sun began it's afternoon descent, I found my thoughts interrupted by Sera and Vivienne bickering with one another.

Sera said, "I've heard things about you, Vivvy."

Vivienne archly replied, "It is properly Madame Vivienne, official mage to the Imperial Court."

Sera snorted derisively, "Yes, that’s what I heard. Not the title, the snotty bit."

"How ever shall I recover from your condemnation?" Vivienne bit back.

Sera groaned and said, "You’re still doing it. Can you even shut it off?"

"For you, my dear? No."

"AAAARGH!" I screamed in frustration.  "THAT'S IT!  From now on, we ride in silence!  No more talking, not one word, unless someone is attacking us!"

"But-" protested Sera.

"No buts!" I snapped.  "From now on, the rule is, 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.'  Is that clear?"

The three of them nodded silently.  "Good," I said.

We rode on, stewing in silent misery.  I bitterly wished for Varric's stories or Solas' fascinating bits of history.  I even missed Cassandra's silent disapproval; I knew that it largely came from a place of concern and she meant well.  I knew that beneath Vivienne's Ice Queen exterior, there was a good woman who had struggled and clawed her way to the top.  I also understood just how much her personality rankled Sera and Blackwall.  Finally, the sun started to dip below the horizon and I announced that we were stopping for the night.  My companions silently set up our tents and got a fire going.  We sat around it eating our dinner in silence.  I tersely assigned the watches, taking the first one for myself.

When my two hours were up, I ducked into the tent I was sharing with Vivienne, shaking her awake to take her turn.  That night, I called for Solas as soon as I entered the Fade.  "Mr. Wolf!  Where are you?"

He appeared at my side.  "I am here, Amy.  Are you alright?" he asked with concern as he saw my face.

Sighing, I sank down to sit next to him, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his neck.  "I've made a huge mistake!" I moaned.  "Those three are impossible!  Nothing but constant bickering and sniping for hours!  How do they not run out of insults?  And I can't even distract them with stories or songs because I don't trust Vivienne!"

I could feel his body vibrating.  Pulling back, I saw that he was shaking with silent laughter.  "Hey!  It's not funny," I said with a pout.  That only made him start laughing out loud.

His amusement was infectious, and soon I was laughing too.  "I can't wait to see what pranks Sera's going to pull in retaliation," I said.  "Vivienne is just asking for it at this point."

We laughed together for a little while longer, and then he rose to his feet.  "Come,  _falon_.  I have an idea."  The Fade swirled around us until we found ourselves in a tavern.  A bard was playing in the corner, his clear voice cutting through the noise of the tavern's patrons.

"These are songs that would be familiar in Thedas," Solas explained.  "They are not 'too elfy' for Sera, although they might be a bit low-brow for Vivienne's tastes."

"You're a genius!" I exclaimed.  Impulsively, I leaned down and planted a kiss on his forehead.  "Thank you, Mr. Wolf.  This is exactly what I needed."

He ducked his head.  "It is nothing," he said.

"It's wonderful," I corrected him firmly.  "Let's go sit by the bard."  And so we spent the next few hours listening to tavern songs.

The next morning, we packed up the camp quietly and efficiently.  As we rode out, I turned to look at my companions with a smile.  "I do hope today is more pleasant than yesterday," I said lightly.

"Sure would be nice if we could have a song or a story," said Sera, shooting a barbed glare at Vivienne.

"Don't look at me, my dear.  I am not a minstrel," Vivienne replied icily.

I cleared my throat before Sera could retaliate and say something that gave away my secret.  "Perhaps I can sing a song," I said, causing Sera and Blackwall to look at me in surprise.  I began to sing the tavern songs I had learned during the night.  Sera and Blackwall quickly joined in for some of them; apparently, they were a bit bawdy and quite popular.  Too our great surprise, Vivienne joined in for one of the randier verses.

Sera's jaw dropped in shock, but Blackwall and I kept singing.  When we finished, I said, "Why Madame Vivienne, I had no idea you had such a fine voice."

"I am a woman of many talents," she replied primly.  Then she cracked a small smile and said, "You have a fine voice, yourself, my dear."

Emboldened by my success, I sang a few more songs as we rode.  Sera began entertaining us with tales of her best pranks.  Blackwall shared some of his stories of his experiences as a recruiter for the Gray Wardens.  Even Vivienne joined in with stories about the antics of Orlesian nobles during her time at court.  

We traveled like that for the rest of the week.  A tentative truce had sprung up between my companions.  True, barbed banter still flew between them, but so did smiles and laughter.  Each night, Solas showed me stories and songs from Thedas to share with my companions.  I grew bold and threw in some of Aesop's fables, which they found very entertaining.  We encountered the stray occasional group of bandits, mages, and templars, but nothing we weren't able to handle.  Finally, we made it to the Storm Coast.  Scout Harding was there to greet us and fill us in.  She pointed us in the direction of the Bull's Chargers.

As we approached, I could hear the sounds of a skirmish.  Sure enough, at the base of the hill we were standing on, the mercenaries were fighting a group of Venatori.  Motioning to my companions, I hurried to help the Chargers.  The Venatori were stronger than the enemies we had met on the road, but we were able to make quick work of them.  The battle finally subsided, and I was able to take a closer look at the mercenaries I was about to welcome into the Inquisition.

My jaw dropped as I took my first real look at the Iron Bull, the first Qunari I had encountered.  He was massive.  The game simply hadn't prepared me for how  _big_ he was.  It probably didn't help that I was a short, slender elf.

"Chargers!  Stand down!" Bull shouted.  "Krem!  How'd we do?"   _Ah, Freddie Prinze Jr._

"Five or six wounded, chief.  No dead," he answered.

Bull nodded approvingly.  "That's what I like to hear.  Let the throatcutters finish up, then break out the casks." 

He turned his attention towards me.  "So, you're with the Inquisition, huh?  Glad you could make it.  Have a seat, drinks are coming."

I gave him a grin and said, "Iron Bull, I presume."

"Yeah, the horns usually give it away."  He moved to sit down, and I followed.  "I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi, my lieutenant."

"Good to see you again," Krem said to me before turning back to Iron Bull.  "Throatcutters are done, chief."

"Already?  Have them check again.  I don't want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away.  No offense, Krem."

"None taken.  Least a bastard knows who his mother was.  Puts him one up on you Qunari, right?"

I tried and failed to hide my snicker.  Iron Bull turned back to me, "So...you've seen us fight.  We're expensive, but we're worth it...and I'm sure the Inquisition can afford us."

He quickly assured me that Josephine would take care of the actual payment.  After a little more bravado and chit chat, he said, "And there's one other thing.  Might be useful, might piss you off.  Ever hear of the Ben-Hassrath?"

I played dumb and acted like I had never heard of them in my life.  Bull gave me a quick explanation, telling me that the Ben-Hassrath were concerned about the Breach and wanted to have one of their own working to help us close it.  He divulged that he was sent to get close to the Inquisition's hierarchy and send back regular reports.

"Hmmm," I mused.  "Interesting that you revealed yourself to me upfront.  I like your style, that's for sure.  What exactly would be in these reports you send home?"

"Enough to keep my superiors happy.  Nothing that'll compromise your operations.  The Qunari want to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damn world from falling apart.  You let me send word of what you're doing, it'll put some minds at ease.  That's good for everyone."

I nodded.  "I agree.  A Qunari invasion on top of everything else is the last thing we need right now.  And you would definitely be useful, both in a fight and for information."  Peering up at him, I said, "Very well, Iron Bull.  The Inquisition will accept your offer, with two conditions."

I paused until he nodded for me to continue.  "First, all of your reports will be shared with our spymaster, Leliana.  Second, you will not try to convert any of my people to the Qun.  You may, of course, freely answer all questions that you may be asked, but you may not seek out and actively pursue potential converts.  Do you find these terms acceptable?"

He laughed loudly and agreed.  I smiled up at him and said, "All right.  You're in."

"Excellent," he grinned.  "Krem!  Tell the men to finish drinking on the road.  The Chargers just got hired!"

"What about the casks, chief?  We just opened them up.  With axes," groaned Krem.

"Find some way to seal them.  You're Tevinter, right?  Try blood magic."

"Actually, I was hoping to take care of some business in the area," I said.  "Your men can finish their drinking, but I was hoping you would accompany us.  There are some rifts to seal, red lyrium to destroy, people to assist, nothing too complicated."

Iron Bull agreed, and we left the Chargers to their revelry on the beach.  After a quick round of introductions, we made our way towards a rift spewing demons.  While my companions dispatched the demons, I stepped forward to seal the rift.  I could feel Vivienne and Bull watching me closely as I raised the Anchor and sealed it with a loud pop.  It was the first time they had seen me do so.  "Everyone alright?" I asked, turning back to them.  

It turned out that everyone was alright.  Bull started striking up conversations with the other members of the group, trying to size them up.

"You know, Viv, you're not bad with that staff," he said.

"You will address me as Enchanter Vivienne, Court Mage to the Empire of Orlais, or Madame de Fer.  Not 'Viv,'" she corrected him sharply.

"Oh.  Right, ma'am.  Sorry, ma'am," he said nervously.  Sera and I caught each other's eye, snickering quietly.  Neither of us cared to be at the receiving end of Vivienne's snobbery, but it was amusing to see how uncomfortable the giant, intimidating warrior suddenly was. 

"Hmm.  Yes, 'ma'am' works as well," Vivienne purred with a gleam in her eye.

That night, when I met Solas in the Fade, I happily filled him in on our new companion.  "He's absolutely huge, a force of nature on the battlefield, really.  He's a Qunari, but he's very intelligent, one of their spies.  He just came right out and told me he was a spy, can you believe that?  Very shrewd move on his part."

Solas twitched his tail with irritation.  "I suppose the Inquisition cannot be picky about their allies," he groused, "but I do not care for the idea of you entering into any kind of relationship with the Qunari."

I ruffled his fur affectionately.  "Don't worry, Mr. Wolf.  I will keep an eye on him.  I am not trusting him with my story, and I certainly won't be converting to the Qun.  He seems to truly care for his band of mercenaries, and they are some of the best fighters I've ever seen.  They seem to respect him and care for him too, which is a good indication of his ability to lead.  I think he's a good person, overall."

Giving me a dubious look, Solas quickly changed the subject and showed me some more songs and stories.  Just before it was time for me to wake up, he gave me a final warning.  "Amy, just remember that as a Qunari, Iron Bull's first loyalty will always lie with the Qun.  Should they order him to betray you, he will do so without a second thought.  Do not turn your back on him."

Sighing, I replied, "I know,  _falon_.  At any rate, he and his men are mercenaries.  I'm not going to completely trust soldiers who fight for the highest bidder.  Don't worry, I'll be careful."

He opened his mouth to say something else, but before he could I was shaken awake by Vivienne.  We spent the next couple of days getting the Storm Coast in order, falling into an easy rhythm and coordination.  Iron Bull continued to ask prodding questions, learning everything he could about the group.  I knew he was picking up more information from our faces and body language than our actual words.  It didn't take him too long to hone in on the fact that I was hiding something.

He continued to ask me questions about my background and life with my clan.  He was interested in my unique bow, noting that he'd never seen a Dalish with my shooting style.  "Come across many Dalish, did you?" Sera snapped, coming to my defense.

I slipped on my most disarming smile.  "She has a point, Bull.  You are the first Qunari I've ever seen, perhaps you merely never encountered my clan.  Dalish tend to be pretty reclusive."

Iron Bull conceded the point, but he continued to question me about my presence at Conclave, how I had acquired the Mark, and how I had been trained, among other things.  "Perhaps you could give Cassandra some tips on interrogation," I finally quipped with a barb in my voice, trying to indicate that I was not interested in answering his questions.

Fortunately, he stopped questioning me, but I knew that he had merely switched to less overt tactics.  I would have to be careful about what I said around him.  I could feel him studying me as we traveled.  He knew I had a secret, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

At one point, we came across a massive dragon fighting a giant.  "Okay, that's badass!" Bull shouted with excitement.

"Wow.  We can watch, yeah?" Sera said.

I said nothing.  I couldn't manage to form any words.  I nodded mutely as we edged as close as we could.  The dragon was magnificent.  She hurled bolts of electricity at the giant, only to be met with a flying boulder in retaliation.  I had never seen anything so powerful and deadly in my life.  All too soon, the battle was over, and the dragon flew away.

"Let's move before that giant notices us," I finally managed to say reluctantly.

That night, I shared the experience with Solas in the Fade.  "It was so cool!" I exclaimed as the scene replayed itself around us.  "I mean, look at the size of her!  She's massive!  How do they even manage to get off the ground?"

He smiled at my enthusiasm.  "Dragons are magical creatures.  I'm sure that has something to do with it," he answered.

I flopped down onto the ground to continue admiring the dragon in my dream.  "Seeing a dragon, a real live dragon...it almost makes being trapped in this world worth it," I sighed.

He frowned, but said nothing as he laid down to join me as I replayed the scene yet again.   _Almost worth it,_ I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue from BioWare
> 
> Ugh, this chapter...so much has been going on this week, and I kept writing and deleting and writing and deleting. I was never happy with it, and I'm still not happy with it, but I figured I would just post it to get it over with and move on.
> 
> So, yeah, there you go.


	23. No Shit, Sherlock

The journey back to Haven was fairly uneventful.  Vivienne bossed Bull around dreadfully, and it was amusing to see him jump to obey.  At one point she even had him drawing water for a bath from a nearby stream.  It was admirable, really.

When we finally made it back to Haven, I was immediately snagged by my advisors and dragged off to the war room.  "There's been a bit of a complication," Leliana said.  "The party of soldiers and ambassadors Cullen sent to the Templars have returned, reporting a partial success."

"Well the success part sounds good...what's the partial bit about?" I asked.

Cullen spoke up, "The Templars are willing to join the Inquisition on the condition that we do not ally with the mages in any way.  They are refusing to budge on the issue, although a handful of them might be persuaded otherwise."

I pursed my lips in frustration.  I had really been hoping I would be able to have both the mages and the Templars, but in reality I knew it wouldn't have been so easy.  "Very well...we approach the mages.  Send a message to let the Templars know that if they should change their minds, we will accept them with no questions asked."

Cassandra and Cullen didn't care for my decision, but they didn't object out loud.  After I wrapped up a few more small matters, I said, "Tomorrow, Solas, Varric, Cassandra, and I will ride out for Redcliffe at first light.  Please see that the Iron Bull and his Chargers get settled in properly.  Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to the tavern for a hot meal and then I'm catching whatever sleep I can."

I quickly made my way to the tavern, smiling at the cheers that greeted me when I walked through the door.  I happily took an empty seat and accepted the plate of food that was offered to me.  I ate quickly as I chatted with the other patrons, politely excusing myself when I was finished.  "I'm sorry, I'm riding out again very early in the morning.  Please excuse my rudeness, but I really must get some sleep," I said as I backed out the door.

Since I was walking backwards, I didn't see Solas trying to enter the tavern.  We both gave a loud _oomph_ as we smacked into each other.  "I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," I said.

"Not to worry," he replied, looking cool as a cucumber.  "I was actually looking for you, Herald."

I frowned slightly at his use of the title, then flashed him a smile and said, "Of course.  What can I do for you Solas?  Did you enjoy your vacation?"

Now he was returning my smile.  "It was nice to be able to read and explore the Fade at my leisure, but I am very glad to see you return.  Cassandra just informed me that we will be leaving for Redcliffe tomorrow morning."

"At the ass crack of dawn," I confirmed, "so we'd better get some rest."

His smile broadened at my choice of words.  "Indeed.  In any case, I wanted to welcome you back and to tell you that I greatly appreciate your choosing to ally with the mages."

"Well, thank you, Solas.  Your good opinion means a lot to me.  Walk with me to my cabin?"

He hesitated only slightly before inclining his head in agreement.  He held out his arm, which I gladly took with my own.  "Have you gotten a chance to meet the Iron Bull?" I asked as we walked.

"I have not," he answered.  "I will admit, I am wary of the Qunari.  I am not sure it is wise to form an alliance with them."

"It's less of an alliance and more of an agreement to share information," I replied.  "Plus, we get a warrior and a band of mercenaries.  He is an absolute tank on the battlefield."

Solas' lips thinned, but he didn't say anything else on the matter.  "How was the Storm Coast?" he asked as we approached my cabin.

"A very stormy coast," I laughed.  "I wanted to swim in the ocean, but I was advised against it.  Apparently, the undertow is incredibly lethal.  It's a shame; I love swimming in the ocean back home.  I had to settle for getting my feet wet."

Solas shook his head with a smile.  "I am glad you remained on shore.  Did you encounter many enemies?"

"Not too many, and the ones we came across we handled easily.  But I'll tell you this: I'm never traveling with Vivienne, Sera, and Blackwall all together ever again.  Ever.  The bickering..." I shuddered.  "It was awful."

That made him throw his head back and laugh.  "I can imagine," he sympathized.  "I will try to make tomorrow's journey more pleasant.  I will refrain from arguing with Cassandra and Varric as much as possible."

I squeezed his arm in gratitude.  "Thank you.  Now, I'm going to bed, and I think you should too."

He caught me as I turned to go.  "You should take a rest sometime," he said softly.  "A real rest, like the one you insisted we take."

I gave him a wry smile.  "You and I both know that's not possible right now.  Everything that happens around here seems to need my attention, my personal touch.  And I'm happy to help in any way that I can.  Don't worry, I'm not in any danger of burning out just yet."  I gently extricated myself from his grasp.  "Sweet dreams, Solas," I said as I entered my cabin.

The next morning, I was awakened by a soldier rapping on my door.  It was still dark outside, and I grumbled as I threw on my armor and grabbed my pack.  There wasn't much of a crowd to see us off due to the early hour.

"Shall we depart?" Cassandra asked while Varric stifled a yawn.

"Let's get this show on the road!" I said with forced cheerfulness.  "What I wouldn't give for a pot of coffee right now," I sighed, fighting back yawns of my own.

We rode in comfortable silence for the first few hours while we all woke up.  When we stopped to rest the horses and have some lunch, Varric said, "Hey, boss, how about a story?  It's been a while since we heard one."

"I've been saving this one for you, Varric," I said with a grin.  "I've read parts of _Hard in Hightown_ , and figured you'd like to hear about the most famous fictional detective from my world.  His name is Sherlock Holmes, and he lives at 221B Baker Street."  I spent the next few hours describing the adventures of Sherlock and Dr. Watson, telling the stories of _A Study in Scarlet_ and _The Sign of the Four_.

Varric approved of my choice of stories; at one point, he rummaged around in his saddle bags to grab a quill, ink, and paper to scribble down some of the details.  "Some of this has got to go in my next book!" he exclaimed happily.

I laughed.  "You wouldn't believe how many characters have been inspired or influenced by Sherlock Holmes in my world.  What's one more?  And I have plenty of detective stories to tell...I've not even touched Hercule Poirot or Miss Marple.  And just wait until I tell you about Harry Dresden...he's a wizard _and_ a private investigator.  The magic in that world is a bit different."

"The stories are entertaining, but I find it hard to believe that one man can have such mental acuity," Solas said.

"Yes, his knowledge is a bit...convenient," agreed Cassandra.

Varric and I exchanged exasperated looks as I continued my story.  Finally, we made it to our camp for the night.  Between the roads remaining clear and our early departure, we were able to camp only a short distance from Redcliffe.  I told my companions _The Hound of the Baskervilles_ while we ate dinner.  When I finished, Varric, Solas, and I went to our tents to sleep as Cassandra took the first watch.  I had been given the last watch.  I fell exhausted into my bedroll, sleep claiming me quickly.

All too soon, I found myself being shaken awake by Solas.  While I blinked the sleep from my eyes, he held a finger to his lips and motioned for me to follow him.  "Follow me," he whispered.  "There's something you might want to see.  But you have to be very, very quiet."

I nodded my understanding, and he led me down a path through the mountain.  Suddenly, I knew where we were and what he was about to show me.  My heart thundered in anticipation as we drew near to the opening on the other side.  Solas silently motioned for me to hide behind an outcrop in the rock.  I followed his silent instruction, cautiously sticking my head out to take a peek.

There was the Fereldan Frostback, stretching her wings in the faint early morning light.  I watched her in silent awe for a long time while the sky slowly lightened.  Her dragonlings swarmed around her as she lazily yawned before taking off in a leisurely flight.  My breath caught in my throat as I craned my neck trying to catch a better look.  I didn't even notice I was leaning out into the open as I angled for a better view until I heard Solas hiss a warning.

The dragon had spotted us, and was diving towards us, belching a fireball as she did.  I scrambled to get back into the tunnel, but I wasn't fast enough.  Solas flung up a barrier around us just in time, but the impact from the fireball still knocked us off our feet.  We sprang back up and ran for the camp as fast as we could, the dragon's screeching ringing in our ears.

When we were sure we were safe and she wasn't following us, I burst into hysterical laughter.  "That was amazing!" I exclaimed, a broad, dopey grin splitting my face.  "Thank you, Solas.  She was beautiful!"

He was not as enthralled as I was, scowling as he brushed the dirt from his robes.  "We almost died, " he said, glaring at me.

"Yes," I said, still grinning like a fool, "but you saved our lives.  From a dragon, Solas, a _dragon_.  I mean...wow."

He rolled his eyes, but he lost his scowl and even looked vaguely pleased with himself.  The sun was starting to peek over the horizon by now.  Varric and Cassandra stumbled blearily out of their tents, looking around for the source of the screeching.  Cassandra was not happy when she learned of how close we had come to being engulfed in flame.

"We discussed this!" she scowled at Solas.  "I thought we were in agreement."

"Don't get mad at him," I interjected.  "We would have been perfectly safe if I had followed his instructions.  It was my fault, really."

"Amy, she's right, " Solas said bitterly.  "I should never have put you in such danger.  I'm sorry.  It won't happen again."

Cassandra sniffed, looking slightly mollified while Solas turned on his heel and began packing up.  Sighing, the rest of us joined him, eating a quick breakfast before we made our way to Redcliffe.

As we approached, we could see a rift at the entrance to the town.  "I want a constant watch on that damned thing!  Sound the alarm at the first sign of demons!" shouted a soldier.

Before she could finish her command, the rift crackled and demons poured forth.  My companions and I quickly dismounted, readying our weapons for a fight.  Time seemed to warp around us as we fought, flowing faster then slower then faster again.  Finally, the field was cleared enough for me to seal the rift.

"Anyone else notice the wonky time-altering stuff, or was that just me?" I asked as we strode through the gates.

"We don't know what these rifts can do.  Perhaps they can also affect time," Cassandra answered.

"We're going to have to look into this later," I said.

One of Leliana's agents came up to us as we approached.  "We've spread word the Inquisition was coming, but you should know that no one here was expecting us," he said.

"Not even Grand Enchanter Fiona?" I asked, knowing what his reply would be.

"If she was, she hasn't told anyone.  We've arranged use of the tavern for the negotiations," he replied.

At that moment, an elf mage hurried up to join us.  "Agents of the Inquisition, my apologies!  Magister Alexius is in charge now, but hasn't yet arrived.  He's expected shortly.  You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime." 

I exchanged significant glances with my party, then nodded to the elf to lead us.  As we followed him, Solas remarked, "The Veil is weaker here than in Haven, and not merely weakened but altered in a way I have not seen."

"It must have something to do with the odd behavior of that rift outside of town," I said.

"We should talk to the Grand Enchanter," Cassandra said.  "Perhaps she will have some answers."

"Answers to questions like who is this Magister Alexius and how did he come to be in charge?" I said.

We followed the elf to the tavern in the middle of the village.  A sign marked it as The Gull and Lantern.  Fiona was inside, and she greeted us politely if a bit distantly, asking us what brought us to Redcliffe.

"We're here because of your invitation back in Val Royeaux," I answered, knowing that she would not remember.

"You must be mistaken.  I haven't been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave," she replied, genuinely confused.

"It was either you, or your identical twin sister," I said with a cheeky grin, trying to lighten the mood a little.  "If it wasn't you, who was it?"

"I...I don't know.  Now that you say it, I feel strange...  Whoever...or whatever brought you here, the situation has changed."

She hesitantly explained how the mages had entered into an alliance with the Tevinter Imperium.

"Andraste's ass...  I'm trying to think of a single worse thing you could have done.  And I've got nothing," Varric said in disbelief. 

"I understand that you are afraid, but you deserve better than slavery to Tevinter," Solas said gently.

"As one indentured to a Magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you," Fiona said crisply, with an air of finality. 

"You made a huge mistake," I said, "but don't worry, we'll help you fix it and find a way out.  It's kind of our thing."

Before I could say more, the door to the tavern clanged open, and Alexius strode in confidently, his son Felix trailing behind him.  "Welcome, my friends," he purred.  "I apologize for not greeting you earlier."

"Agents of the Inquisition, allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius," said Fiona.

"The Southern mages are under my command," he said, swinging to face us and cast a scrutinizing eye over me.  "And you are the survivor, yes?  The one from the Fade?  Interesting."

"Your hood is _interesting_ ," I snickered.  "What's up with these pointy flappy bits by your ears?  Are you trying to look like an elf?  Should I be flattered or offended?"  I spoke with a bravado I didn't quite feel, my stomach flopping nervously as I tried to throw him off.

He only scowled at my words, snapping, "You are here to negotiate, are you not?  Let us sit while we come to terms."

He led us to a table, calling out, "Felix, would you send for a scribe, please?  Pardon my manners.  My son Felix, friends."  Turning his attention back to me, he continued, "I am not surprised you're here.  Containing the Breach is not a feat that many could even attempt.  There is no telling how many mages would be needed for such an endeavor.  Ambitious, indeed."

"Go big or go home, I always say," I quipped.  "Does that mean you'll lend your mages to our cause?"

"There will have to be..." Alexius began before he got distracted.  Felix was stumbling and weaving towards us.  I rose up to catch him as he fell.  "Felix!" Alexius cried in concern.

"My lady, I'm so sorry.  Please forgive me," Felix apologized as he slipped a note into my palm.

"Are you alright?" Alexius asked gently, rushing to his son's side.

"I'm fine, Father," Felix reassured him.

"Come, I'll get your powders.  Please excuse me, friends.  We will have to continue this another time.  Fiona, I require your assistance back at the castle," said Alexius, his voice taking on an imperious tone again as he strode quickly from the room.

As soon as they left, I read the note that had been slipped into my hand.  "Come to the Chantry, you are in danger," I read aloud. 

"It could be a trap," Cassandra said suspiciously.

"It could be," I agreed, "but we need to figure out what's going on here.  We'll just have to be extra careful."

Before we left, a man standing in a corner of the tavern caught my eye.  He had the seal of a Tranquil stamped on his forehead.  "Hello," I greeted him.  "What's your name?"

"I am Clemence.  Magister Alexius only wants mages in Redcliffe.  He does not approve of me," the man said detachedly.  "Many villagers have already left to escape his ire."

"What does he have against you?" I asked.  "Surely you've not hurt him in any way."

"He does not like to be reminded of what mages can become," he replied.  "He says all Tranquil must leave Redcliffe, but who would take us in?"

"The Inquisition has room for everyone," I said firmly.  "You would be welcomed there."

"I am an alchemist.  Perhaps my skill can be of use to the Inquisition."  He paused, glancing around the room before continuing, "My magic was insufficient to protect me from demons.  My magic is gone now, along with my dreams and desires."

"I know, Clemence," I said sadly.  "What was done to you is wrong.  But can you fill me in a little?  What's going on in Redcliffe?  When did Tevinter get here?"

He clinically gave us the details.  When he had finished, I thanked him and turned to leave.  He called out, "One moment...I would like to thank you.  While one lives, it is good to believe there is still a use for one's talents."

I smiled and clasped his shoulder.  "No one is ever useless, Clemence.  Every person has worth.  The Inquisition will be lucky to have you.  Please go to Haven and report to Adan.  He will be happy to have an assistant."

With that, we made our way to the Chantry.  I heard grunting and shouting within as we approached.  We rushed to fling open the doors, only to find Dorian finishing off a group of demons that were coming out of a rift.  Straightening, he said, "Good!  You're finally here!  Now help me close this, would you?"

I quickly obliged, extending my hand and pulling the rift shut with a satisfying _pop_.  Turning to face me, Dorian said, "Fascinating!  How does that work exactly?  You don't even know, do you?  You just wiggle your fingers and, _boom!_   Rift closes."

"We all have our gifts," I said with a grin.  "Who are you?"

"Ah.  Getting ahead of myself again, I see.  Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathous.  How do you do?"  He was every bit as glorious as he was in the game, not a hair out of place even though he had just finished battling demons.  The glare from his flashy buckles was nearly blinding.

"Another Tevinter," Cassandra grumbled.  "Be cautious with this one."

"Suspicious friends you have here," Dorian said with a tinge of nervousness, but mostly humor.  "Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable - as I'm sure you can imagine."

"Will Felix be joining us?" I asked.

"I'm sure he's on his way," Dorian replied.  "He was to give you the note, then meet us here after ditching his father."

"He's ill, isn't he?  Something serious?" I asked sympathetically.

"He's had some lingering illness for months.  Felix is an only child, and Alexius is being a mother hen, most likely," he answered.

"So shall I call you Magister Pavus?  Dorian?  Magister Dorian?" I said, teasingly.

Heaving a dramatic sigh, he said, "Alright.  Let's say this once.  I'm a mage from Tevinter, but not a member of the Magisterium.  I know Southerners use the terms interchangeably, but that only makes you sound like barbarians.  And please, call me Dorian."

I nodded my understanding, then said, "So tell me, Dorian, why should I trust someone who is willing to betray his mentor?"

"Alexius _was_ my mentor.  Meaning he's not any longer, not for some time.  Look, you must know there's danger.  That should be obvious even without the note.  Let's start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of the rebel mages right out from under you.  As if by magic, yes?  Which is exactly right.  To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself."

"Lovely," I said.  "So you're telling me I have to go up against a mage powerful enough to distort time?"

"That is fascinating, if true," Solas said, "and almost certainly dangerous."

"The rift you closed here?  You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down.  Soon, there will be more like it, and they will appear further and further away from Redcliffe.  The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it's unraveling the world," Dorian stated with conviction.

"So how do we stop him, if he can control time?" I asked.

"I helped develop this magic.  When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory.  Alexius could never get it to work.  What I don't understand is why he's doing it?  Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?"

"He didn't do it for them," said Felix, walking up to join us.  He explained how his father had joined the Venatori, and how his actions were all for the purpose of getting to me.

"To me, or to this?" I asked holding up my glowing left hand.  "Not that it really matters at this point.  So do either of you have any suggestions for how to stop him?"

Dorian answered, "You know you're his target.  Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage.  I can't stay in Redcliffe.  Alexius doesn't know I'm here, and I want to keep it that way for now.  I'll be in touch.  Oh, and Felix?  Try not to get yourself killed," he said as he left.

"There are worse things than dying, Dorian," Felix answered, nodding to us as he left as well.

"Well," I said to my companions as we stood alone in the Chantry.  "Alexius and Dorian both claim they will be in touch.  I think we should make our way back to Haven as soon as possible and let everyone know what's going on.  It looks like we might need some backup on this one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue from BioWare
> 
> Sherlock Holmes is a character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


	24. If I Could Turn Back Time

My advisors and inner circle gathered around the War Table with me.  I had made sure everyone was at this meeting.  Cullen was arguing that an outright attack on Redcliffe Castle wouldn't work.  "We don't have the manpower to take the castle!  Either we find another way in, or give up this nonsense and go get the Templars!" he declared.  Sera nodded fervently in agreement.

"I'm not giving up on people who have been coerced into slavery," I said firmly.  "The Templars know they can join us at any time, if they would stop being so stubborn.  We can figure this out."

Cassandra nodded grimly.  "Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister.  This cannot be allowed to stand."

Josephine broke in, "The letter from Alexius asked for the Herald of Andraste by name.  It's an obvious trap."

I cleared my throat.  "By name?" I asked, giving her a significant look.

She caught my unspoken question and clarified, "He requested that 'Lady Lavellan' come to meet with him."  Iron Bull's eyes narrowed at our exchange, but he said nothing.

"Well, if he asked for me by name, how can I refuse?" I remarked dryly. 

"A Tevinter Magister controls Redcliffe, invites us to the castle to talk, and some of us want to do nothing," said Leliana, shooting a barbed glance in Cullen's direction.

"Not this again," groaned Josephine.  Her sentiments were echoed by the group.

"Redcliffe Castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden.  It has repelled thousands of assaults," Cullen said doggedly, for what felt like the twentieth time that evening.  He stared at me evenly as he continued, "If you go in there, you'll die.  And we'll lose the only means we have of closing these rifts.  I won't allow it."

"Your concern is noted and appreciated," I said gently.  "But we have to find a way to save the mages."

"We don't necessarily need a direct assault," Bull cut in.  "There might be a way to infiltrate the castle."

"Sewers?  Drainage pipes?  Vines near windows?" suggested Sera.

"There's nothing I know of that would work," replied Cullen.

"Wait!" exclaimed Leliana.  "There is a secret passage into the castle.  An escape route for the family.  It's too narrow for our troops, but we could send agents through."

I pumped my fist in the air.  "That's what I'm talking about!"

Cullen interjected, "It's too risky.  Those agents will be discovered well before they reach the Magister."

"I can distract him," I said.  "It's perfect.  He invited me, so I'll be able to waltz right in under their noses.  While he's focused on me, the agents can slip in and get close enough to do their job."

Cullen pursed his lips in disapproval.  "It's a gamble, but it might work," he said, grudgingly.  "I still don't like the idea of using you as bait."

The door banged open as Dorian strode into the room dramatically.  "Fortunately, you'll have help," he declared.  "Your spies will never get past Alexius' magic without my help.  So if you're going after him, I'm coming along."

Cullen looked at me helplessly.  "We can still go after the Templars," he said, pleading with his eyes.

"No," I said firmly, trying to keep my voice kind.  "The plan is solid.  We leave tomorrow at dawn.  Bull, Dorian, and Solas will accompany me.  The rest of you stay at Haven."

Two days later, I found myself strolling through the front door of Redcliffe Castle with Bull and Solas.  I ignored the knot of guilt roiling in my stomach.  As horrible as the events at Redcliffe were, they were necessary to drive the future actions of the Inquisition.  Plus, it would give me an opportunity to speak freely with Solas for once.  Still, I was not looking forward to causing my friends to be tortured.  _It won't really count, you're going to erase it all_ , I told myself unconvincingly.

We approached a few guards in the front hall.  "Announce us," I said imperiously, hoping my nerves weren't showing.

"The invitation was for Lady Lavellan only.  These others will have to remain here," protested the steward as he approached.

"Where I go, they go," I replied evenly as I stared him down.

He quickly gave in and led us to Alexius.  He sat on a throne in front of a fireplace, looking for all the world like a cat that had gotten the cream.  Fiona stood off to the side, looking worried and determined.

Alexius rose to greet us.  "My friend!  It's so good to see you again.  And your...associates, of course," he said, flicking his gaze over Bull and Solas dismissively.  "I'm sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties."

"Are we mages to have no voice in deciding our fate?" spat Fiona, able to keep silent no longer.

"Fiona, you would not have turned your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives," Alexius patronized her.

"If she wants a say, she gets a say," I challenged him.  "She can be a guest of the Inquisition if that's what it takes."

"Thank you," Fiona said, surprise coloring her response.

Alexius gave us a small, smug smile and returned to his throne.  "The Inquisition needs mages to close the Breach, and I have them.  So, what shall you offer in exchange?"

I gave him a smile of my own.  "In exchange, I offer the mages their freedom and the opportunity to serve in the Inquisition as equals.  I offer protection from slavery and Tevinter.  Do you find my offer acceptable?"

Alexius barked a laugh.  "You are bold, I'll grant you that.  How do you imagine you'll manage such a feat?"

Felix, who had been standing quietly at his father's side, spoke softly.  "She knows everything, Father."

"Felix, what have you done?" Alexius asked sharply. 

They argued back and forth as Felix tried to make his father see reason.  Alexius was having none of it.  He began to rave about how I was a mistake traipsing around with a stolen mark I couldn't possibly understand.  "Father, listen to yourself.  Do you know what you sound like?" Felix cried in frustration.

"He sounds exactly like the sort of villainous cliché everyone expects us to be," said Dorian, calmly strolling into the room from wherever he had been hiding.

Surprise flickered across Alexius' face, and his eyes narrowed.  "Dorian.  I gave you a chance to be a part of this.  You turned me down.  The Elder One has power you would not believe.  He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes."

I yawned dramatically.  "Blah blah blah.  We get it.  You have a boner for this Elder One, who's supposed to be so powerful, but couldn't manage to deal with one bumbling, clumsy, _mistake_ of an elf."

"Soon, the Elder One will become a god," Alexius growled.

I rolled my eyes.  "No, he'll just become very powerful.  That doesn't make him a god, you idiot."

"He will make the world bow to mages once more.  We will rule from the Boeric Ocean to the Frozen Seas," Alexius continued with a hiss.

"You can't involve my people in this!" cried Fiona.

"Alexius, this is exactly what you and I talked about _never_ wanting to happen!  Why would you support this?" said Dorian, trying to reason with his former mentor.

"Stop it, Father.  Give up the Venatori.  Let the Southern mages seal the Breach, and let's go home," Felix added softly.

"No!  It's the only way, Felix.  He can save you!  There _is_ a way, the Elder One promised!  If I can undo the mistake at the Temple..."

"I'm going to die.  You need to accept that," Felix replied calmly.

Alexius shook his head.  "Seize them, Venatori!  The Elder One demands this woman's life!" he cried.

Wet, sickening thumps filled the room as a dozen throats were cut at once.  Leliana's agents had successfully crept into the room while we had distracted everyone.  "Your men are dead Alexius," I declared as I strode forward, trying to make sure there was distance between me and my party.

"You...are a mistake!  You should never have existed!" snarled Alexius as he whipped out an amulet that began to levitate and glow.

"No!" cried Dorian, knocking it aside with a spell of his own.  A swirling green whirlpool opened in the air beside me.  The last thing I saw before it sucked me in was the look of panic on Solas' face.

Dorian and I tumbled through the vortex, emerging into a flooded dungeon with a splash.  Our arrival surprised the guards.  We used the surprise to our advantage, quickly taking them out.  "At least our weapons came through with us," I said lightly as we finished our skirmish.

"Displacement?  Interesting!" mused Dorian.  "It's probably not what Alexius intended.  The rift must have moved us...to what?  The closest confluence of arcane energy?"

"We're in the dungeon," I supplied helpfully.

"Let's see.  If we're still in the castle, it isn't...Oh!  Of course!  It's not simply where, it's when!  Alexius used the amulet as a focus!  It moved us through time!" he exclaimed.

"Now we get to figure out how far, and in which direction," I said.  "But first, Dorian, there's something I need to tell you."  I quickly filled him in on my situation.

He laughed wryly.  "A week ago, I wouldn't have believed you.  But if time travel is possible, why not other worlds?  I wish we had time to discuss it more, the very idea is fascinating."

"Not many people know, and I'd like to keep it that way," I said.  "Only my advisors and inner circle know, and I haven't told Vivienne or Iron Bull.  I don't trust them enough yet."

"Yet you are trusting me," Dorian said softly.  "I'm honored and flattered."

"You're a good man, Dorian.  I can tell," I said with a smile.  "But let's get moving and find a way out of here."

We moved steadily through the dungeon, picking off the occasional guard we came across.  Dorian made snarky comments about Alexius' decorating, but I could see his hands tightening around his staff in fear as we moved.  Finally, I heard a familiar voice call out, "Is someone there?"

I rushed to Solas' cell.  "I'm here," I said softly.  He turned and jumped in surprise at the sound of my voice.  He looked terrible.  The red lyrium had corrupted him, as evidenced by the red glow he seemed to be emanating.

"You're alive!" he said, his corrupted voice full of wonder and disbelief.  "I saw you die!"

"The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time," Dorian explained while I moved to pick the lock on the cell.  "We just got here, so to speak."

"Can you reverse the process?" Solas asked as I swung the door open, his eyes sparking with hope.  "You could return and obviate the events of the last year.  It may not be too late!"

"That's the plan," I said.  "I'm glad you understand.  Saves me the trouble of trying to convince you."

"You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes.  You would be wrong," he said ruefully.  "But you know nothing of this world.  It is far worse than you understand.  Alexius served a master; the Elder One.  He reigns now, unchallenged.  His minions assassinated Empress Celene and used the chaos to invade the South.  This Elder One commands an army of demons.  After you stop Alexius you must be prepared."

"We'll fix this and make things right, with your help," I assured him.

"If there is any hope, any way to save you, my life is yours.  This world is an abomination, it must never come to pass."

I tried to smile bravely as I gathered my courage.  _It's now or never,_ I told myself, _you won't get such an opportunity again_.

" _Try not to react to my words,_ " I said gently in elvhen, flicking my eyes towards Dorian.  Solas nodded his understanding, so I continued.  " _I love you.  I am madly, deeply in love with you, and I have been for a while.  I tried not to fall in love with you because I didn't want to get attached to this world, but I couldn't help it.  And I'm a coward.  I'm a coward, because I won't tell you how I feel.  Unless I'm about to erase the moment from existence, apparently."_

He blinked at my confession, struggling to keep his expression neutral.  His throat bobbed as he swallowed repeatedly before he answered me.  " _It appears that I am a coward as well_ ," he finally said.  " _I, too, fell in love with you despite my best intentions.  When I saw you die..._ " he paused as he fought to regain control of his emotions.  " _I had a long time to dwell on my regrets in that cell,"_ he finally said.  " _Not telling you how I felt was one of the greatest regrets of my life, and I have done many, many things that I regret._ "

Now it was my turn to breathe deeply and attempt to mask my emotions.  To his credit, Dorian seemed to sense the gravity of the moment and was looking away, trying to give us some semblance of privacy.  Clearing my throat, I said, " _I know something of your regrets.  I have another confession to make...I know who you are.  I know you're Fen'Harel.  I know you're Mr. Wolf.  I know what you want to do.  I've known since the beginning._ "

Solas' jaw dropped in shock.  The tears he had been holding back started to stream down his face, all semblance of control now gone.  " _You knew?_ " he stammered.

" _I know, and I love you,_ " I said, stepping forward, raising my hand to cup his cheek.

For half a second, he leaned into my touch.  Then he jerked back, shaking his head.  " _You shouldn't touch me.  You could get contaminated,_ " he said brokenly as his tears continued to flow.

I felt wetness trickling down my own cheeks, and I realized that I had started to cry as well.  "I hate to interrupt this...moment you two are having," said Dorian, "but we really must keep moving."

I sniffled and nodded, swallowing back the sob that threatened to break free.  "I agree.  We can walk and talk.  Let's go see if we can find Bull," I said as I turned to move.

" _If you knew, why didn't you say something?  Do something?  Kill me on sight?"_ asked Solas as we walked.

" _I'm trying to convince you there is a better way_ ," I answered.  " _Be honest.  If I succeed and return to the moment I disappeared and tell you what I know and how I feel, what would you do?_ "

He shook his head.  " _I would not have listened.  I might even have killed you if I thought you were enough of a threat, although that is not likely.  I probably would have left the Inquisition and put as much distance between us as possible._ "

I walked in silence for a while, considering his response.  We found Bull and freed him from his cell.  It took a minute to convince him that he wasn't going insane, but he readily joined us.

" _What if I just told you how I feel?"_ I asked Solas suddenly.  " _Would you have turned me down?_ "

" _I would like to think I would have been strong enough to resist you,_ " he replied, the ghost of a smile passing over his face.  " _But in truth, I think that you would have been able to convince me otherwise.  I already struggled to control my emotions around you._ "

" _I might try to court you, then, when we get back,_ " I smiled. 

He smiled back at me, despite the pain he was clearly in.  " _I hope you are successful._ "

"You know, it's pretty rude to speak in a language you know we can't understand," grumbled Dorian.  Bull rumbled his agreement of the sentiment.

I ignored them and continued speaking in elvhen.  " _Was it working even a little bit?  Were my stories at least making you consider finding another way?_ "

Solas frowned in consideration.  " _Sometimes, I would find myself dreaming of...possibilities,"_ he admitted carefully.  " _I always looked forward to your stories and songs.  I enjoyed the glimpses into other worlds they provided.  They might not have changed my mind, but they helped me.  Please do not stop if you get back._ "

I blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over.  " _I won't stop, my love.  I will not give up on you, I promise._ "

We reached Fiona's cell.  She was shocked to see us alive, but she was able to give us the date.  "Harvestmere, 9:42 Dragon," she managed to rasp.  She also told us to find Leliana, who was being held somewhere else in the castle.  I thanked her, and promised to set everything right.

"We need to find that amulet," said Dorian.

"And pray that it works correctly and doesn't turn us into a greasy spot on the wall," I said.

We fought our way through the dungeons until we reached the torture chambers.  "Cozy," I said, looking at the various racks, cages, and torture implements in disgust.

Then we heard a gut-wrenching scream.  We ran towards the door.  I couldn't pick the lock in time, so Bull shoved me out of the way and smashed it down.

"You will break!" said a guard, brandishing a dagger over the broken, battered husk that Leliana had become.

"I will die first!" she hissed defiantly.  She spotted us bursting into the room.  "Or you will," she cried as the guard turned, distracted.  She used her legs to strangle her tormentor.  "You're alive!" she exclaimed in surprise as I hurried to free her from her shackles.

"I am," I replied.  "It's alright.  You're safe now."

"Forget 'safe.'  If you came back from the dead, you need to do better than 'safe,'" she replied.  "You need to end this.  Do you have weapons?"

"Yes," I answered. 

"Good," she said, moving forward.  "The Magister's probably in his chambers."

"You...aren't curious how we got here?" I asked.

"No," she replied curtly, picking up a bow of her own.

"Alright then," I said.  "Let's go kill a Magister and go back in time so we can erase this timeline from existence.  Chop chop, everyone."

Leliana leveled a dead-eyed stare at me and Dorian.  "And mages always wonder why people fear them," she bitterly quipped.  "No one should have this power."

"It's dangerous and unpredictable," Dorian tried to explain.  "Before the Breach, nothing we did..."

"Enough!" snapped Leliana.  "This is all pretend to you, some future you hope will never exist.  I suffered.  The whole world suffered.  It was _real_."

"I'm sorry for your suffering," I said quietly.  "I will not let your pain and sacrifice be in vain, I promise."

She snorted in disgust and lead our group towards Alexius' chambers.  "What happened while we were away?" Dorian asked as we moved.

"Stop talking," snapped Leliana.

"I'm just asking for information," Dorian protested.

"No.  You're just talking to fill silence.  Nothing happened that you want to hear," she retorted.

"Actually," I interjected, "specific information would be nice.  Information like when exactly was the Empress assassinated?  Who did it?  What has the Elder One been searching for?  What's going on with the Templars and mages?  The more I know," I explained, "the more I can tell _you_ when I go back to the past."

Her glare softened slightly and she pragmatically began giving me the information I had requested.  We made our way through the castle, killing guards and even sealing a rift or two as we went.  Occasionally, I would interrupt to ask for clarification, or she would make me repeat something back to her to make sure I remembered what she had said.

Eventually, we found ourselves emerging into a courtyard.  "The Breach... it's everywhere!" I exclaimed.

"The Elder One and his Venatori are the ones who opened it," confirmed Leliana as we fought through yet another wave of demons.

"This is madness.  Alexius can't have wanted this," Dorian said, clearly sickened by what he saw.

"He made his bed, now he gets to lie in it," I said without a trace of sympathy.

At long last, we came to an ornate, heavy door.  "Let me guess...we have to find a bunch of little pieces and put them together to make a key," I grumbled.

"How did Alexius even get this here?" Dorian asked in awe.

"What's with Thedas and this obsession with breaking up keys?" I muttered as we killed and searched a group of Venatory for fragments.  "It's the tiniest increase in security, but a huge increase in inconvenience for actually using the door.  I just don't get it!"

Finally, _finally_ , we found the last piece and opened the door.  Alexius stood inside, gazing morosely into the fire.  "It's over, Alexius," I said as we approached.

"So it is," he agreed.  "I knew you would appear again.  Not that it would be now, but I knew that I hadn't destroyed you.  My final failure."

"Was it worth it?  Everything you did to the world?  To yourself?" demanded Dorian.

"It doesn't matter now.  All we can do is wait for the end," Alexius answered sadly.

"Right.  That's not happening, I can tell you.  You are going to give us that amulet, and we are going to go back and fix this.  The only choice you have is whether you hand it to us willingly or whether we pry it off your corpse," I said, stepping forward.  "What will it be, Lexy?"

Leliana moved as quickly and deadly as a snake, yanking Felix to his feet and holding a dagger to his throat.  "Felix!" cried Alexius.

"That's Felix?!  Maker's breath, Alexius, what have you done?" cried Dorian.  I winced in sympathy, knowing it could not be easy to see a dear friend become something little better than an animated corpse.

"He would have died, Dorian!  I saved him!  Please, don't hurt my son!  I'll do anything you ask, give you whatever you want."

"I want the world back," Leliana said as she dragged the dagger across Felix's throat.  He fell in a spray of black blood while Alexius' screams echoed through the empty room.

"NOOOO!!!" he howled, flinging magic at us in a desperate attack.  His anger and distraction should have made him easy to beat, but my companions were sick and weary.  The battle stretched on, far longer than it should have, until at last Alexius was defeated. 

Gasping and wheezing for breath, I knelt with Dorian over Alexius' body.  "He wanted to die, didn't he?" Dorian mused sadly.  "All those lies he told himself, the justifications...  He lost Felix long ago, and didn't even notice.  Oh, Alexius..."

I gripped his shoulder.  "I know you cared for him," I said gently.

"Once, he was a man to whom I compared all others.  Sad, isn't it?  This is the same amulet he used before.  I think it's the same one we used in Minrathous.  That's a relief.  Give me an hour to work out the spell he used, and I should be able to reopen the rift."

"An hour?" snarled Leliana.  "That's impossible!  You must go now!"

The ground shook and stones tumbled from the ceiling.  "The Elder One," Leliana whispered. 

"Alright Dorian, get to work on that amulet.  Leliana, Bull, Solas..." I hesitated, unable to say the words.

"We'll hold them off as long as we can," rumbled Bull, heading towards the door.

I nodded my gratitude, not trusting myself to speak.  Solas gave me a lingering look before turning to join him.

"Cast your spell," said Leliana as she wielded her bow.  "You have as much time as I have arrows."  She began to recite parts of the Chant of Light, firing arrow after arrow.  I watched my friends fall one by one, unable to do anything but watch from Dorian's side.  The last thing I saw, before we were sucked through the swirling vortex, was their broken, twisted corpses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue from BioWare
> 
> Hurray! Progress in the relationship! Of course, it's progress that never happened from Solas' point of view, but still...:)


	25. What a Wonderful World

Dorian and I crashed back into the hall, barely a moment after we had left.  "You'll have to do better than that," Dorian said smugly, striding confidently towards Alexius.

I did not look nearly as confident; I was splattered with blood and grime with fresh tear tracks streaking down my cheeks.  I heard Solas make a small noise of concern in his throat at the sight of me.  Alexius fell to his knees in front of me, and I tried to keep my voice from shaking as I said, "Put aside all claim to Redcliffe, and we let you live."

"You won.  There is no point extending this charade," Alexius said, defeated.  He looked towards his son, sorrow etched on his features.  "Felix..."

"It's going to be alright, Father," Felix said gently.

"You'll die," protested Alexius.

"Everyone dies," Felix answered.

"Have you considered joining the Gray Wardens?" I asked.  It wasn't exactly ideal, considering what the Gray Wardens were up to, but if he was just going to die anyway, I figured it was worth a shot.

"He might not survive the joining," protested Alexius.  "Besides, the Wardens are nowhere to be found."

Felix shook his head.  "I have accepted my fate.  I am at peace."  Soldiers stepped forward to lead them away before I could press the issue.

"Well, I'm glad that's over with," Dorian said brightly, although his face betrayed his sorrow.

Solas rushed to my side to see if I was alright, but before he could ask me any questions, we were interrupted by a group of soldiers marching in.  "Or not," said Dorian as King Alistair strode into the room.

"Grand Enchanter, imagine how surprised I was to learn you'd given Redcliffe Castle away to a Tevinter Magister," he said.

"King Alistair," Fiona said in a trembling voice as she approached him hesitantly.

"Especially since I'm fairly sure Redcliffe belongs to Arl Teagan," he continued.

"Your majesty, we never intended..." Fiona tried to explain, wringing her hands.

Alistair cut her off.  "I know what you intended.  I wanted to help you, but you've made it impossible."

I decided to cut in.  "King Alistair, I don't believe we've been properly introduced.  I am Ellana Lavellan, of the Inquisition."

He glanced over at me, his courtly reflexes taking over.  "A pleasure, my lady."

I quickly continued, praying he would let me finish.  "The mages were coerced into slavery by a powerful Magister who was able to manipulate time itself.  I realize that you have the security of your kingdom and subjects to consider, but I have a proposal that I hope will be amenable to all parties."

"I'm listening," Alistair said, quirking an eyebrow.  Fiona turned towards me, curious to hear what I would say.

"I propose that the mages join the Inquisition as allies.  We need assistance to seal the Breach, and they need to atone for their mistakes.  Helping us willingly would be a good first step."

King Alistair turned towards Fiona.  "I highly recommend you accept this generous offer.  It is far better than what you would get from me."  His voice was hard and angry, and she seemed to wilt under his glare.

"It is indeed a generous offer," she said, "but will the rest of the Inquisition honor it?"

"The Breach threatens all of Thedas.  We cannot afford to be divided now.  We can't fight it without you.  Any chance of success requires your full support," I replied.

"We accept, it would be madness not to," Fiona said.  "I will gather my people and ready them for the journey to Haven.  The Breach will be closed.  You will not regret giving us this chance."

Alistair nodded brusquely and turned to go.  "A moment, your Majesty," I called out.  "I was hoping to discuss a few more things with you, if you have the time."

He inclined his head towards me.  "I have a moment to spare, my lady.  You are the one they call the Herald of Andraste, are you not?"

"They call me that, your Majesty, but I have never made that claim," I deferred.  "I wanted to ask you about Lyna Mahariel, the Hero of Ferelden."

"Ah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly in a most un-kingly manner.  "Yes.  She is...away, at the moment.  Do you know her?" he asked, clearly uncomfortable.

I smiled, trying to put him at ease.  "Not personally, no.  Her story is well known among the Dalish," I hedged, fairly sure I wasn't lying.  "I was wondering if you were ever planning on marrying her."

"Oh," he said, reddening.  "Well, you see...I'm not sure if that...what I mean to say, is...you see, the people would not be very accepting of an elf as their queen."

"Probably as accepting as they are of a Dalish 'Herald of Andraste,' I'd imagine," I said wryly.  "I know there are politics to consider, but...well, you've been king for ten years now.  Surely your rule is stable enough...and I know you are well-loved by the people..." I trailed off.

He hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.  "I'm sorry, but you simply don't understand the situation.  In any case, Lyna is not here at the moment.  Perhaps, if she is successful, it could be considered, but for now..." he sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, your Majesty.  I did not mean to cause you distress.  Please forgive my presumption.  You have been very good to the Dalish, and for that I am grateful."

Alistair grumbled and rubbed his hands over his face.  "It's alright.  If there's nothing else?" he asked. 

I hesitated, glancing at Fiona.  _It's not my secret to tell_.When I shook my head, he turned to leave.  Pausing, he called over his shoulder, "Good luck sealing the Breach.  Maker willing, you will be successful."

When he was gone, I turned to Fiona and said, "Prepare your people and journey to Haven as soon as possible."

Fiona dipped her head in acknowledgement, "Thank you, Herald.  We will go to Haven as quickly as possible."

She left the room with an escort of soldiers.  I turned to my companions, exhausted.  "Shall we return to camp?" I asked.

Bull nodded and Solas moved to grip my elbow and support me.  I was perfectly capable of walking unaided, but I leaned into him anyway.  When we emerged from the castle, I blinked in surprise to see that it was still early afternoon.  Technically, we had only been in the castle for less than an hour.  Sighing in resignation, I said, "I suppose we could make our way around the village first and see who needs help."

We slowly circled through the village, lending our aid where it was needed.  I agreed to place flowers on a dead wife's grave, convinced a healer to aid the refugees, and promised to return Lord Woolsley to his owner.  I also bought a handful of supplies from local merchants and helped mend a broken fence.  The sun was beginning to sink below the horizon when we finally made our way out of the village.

I sank wearily to the ground as Dorian cast a fire for us to huddle around when we reached our camp.  I was glad we had left the campsite standing and didn't have to worry about setting up our tents.  "So what exactly happened to you two?" Bull asked.

I let Dorian tell the tale, resting my chin on my knees and staring into the flames, trying to forget the sight of my friends lying dead on the ground.  Dorian embellished a bit here and there, but otherwise told the events we had experienced in remarkable detail.  Solas and Bull asked questions for clarification occasionally, but otherwise listened silently with rapt expressions.  I was particularly glad that Dorian neglected to mention the conversation I had had in elvhen with Solas.

"...and then we jumped through the portal back to this time, and you know the rest," Dorian concluded.

"I'm glad I died fighting, at least," Bull said.  "Better than becoming a red statue in a cell."

"It was awful," I whispered, breaking my silence at last.  "Watching all of you die, even if we were about to prevent it from ever happening...I'll never forget that sight."  I looked up to see the three of them regarding me with worry and sympathy.  I cleared my throat and gave them my best reassuring smile.  "But all that matters is that you are both alive now.  Leliana too."

Solas hummed in concern.  "In any case, you should get some rest.  This day has been much longer for you than the rest of us," he said gently.

I nodded.  "Wake me when it's time for my watch," I said, moving towards the tent I was sharing with Solas.  I stripped off my armor and collapsed into my bedroll.  I thought I would have trouble falling asleep, but I was so exhausted that before I knew it I was in the Fade.  I let out a low moan of despair as I realized I was in the dungeon at Redcliffe once more.

I tried to run, but it felt like my body was underwater.  "Is someone there?" called Solas' disembodied voice.  I fought and struggled to get to his cell.  When I finally made it, he looked up at me with the same hope and disbelief he had before.

"It's alright, I'm here," I said as I moved to pick his lock.  "I'm not dead, and I'm going to save you.  Don't worry."  The door sprang open.

"Quick!  We have to run," I said, grabbing his arm.  He refused to run with me, forcing me to sling him over my back in a fireman's carry.  "Hurry, hurry...before they find us," I muttered frantically, trying to find my way out of the dungeon, which had suddenly become a labyrinth of twisting tunnels.

" _Vhenan,_ " Solas croaked, "put me down."  Suddenly, he grew too heavy for me to take another step.  I slumped him to the ground as gently as I could.

I gasped in shock when I saw him.  Arrows protruded from his chest and abdomen, his right arm had been completely severed, and his head lolled to the side at an unnatural angle.  "Solas!  No!  Please don't die, not again!" I blubbered as I clutched at his unresponsive form.  "SOLAS!" I screamed.

I jerked awake, my scream echoing in my ears.  I buried my head in my hands and began to sob hysterically.  Solas burst into the tent and strode quickly to my side.  Before I knew it, he was kneeling beside me and scooping me up effortlessly.  His arms curled around me and he rocked me slightly as he murmured soothing words of comfort.  I turned to wrap my arms around his neck as my body was wracked by sobs.

"I saw you die again!" I managed to choke out as I clung to him desperately.  "It was awful.  I couldn't save you."

"Hush, now.  You are safe.  It was only a dream.  I am here," he soothed.  He held me until I calmed down and pulled back to look at him with a sniffle.

"I'm sorry...I'm so embarrassed," I said, suddenly aware of how close we were.  I moved to pull away, but his arms tightened around me, keeping me in place.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," he said gently.  "By all accounts, you witnessed a terrible future and saw many traumatic things.  Anyone would have nightmares."

"Everyone died... _you_ died, for me," I said.  "What if Dorian's spell hadn't worked?  You would have been dead for nothing."

"But it did work," he answered simply.  "It worked, and we are all alive.  The mages are our allies, and soon we will seal the Breach.  You will have saved everyone."

"I know, I know," I said, relaxing into his embrace.  "I just...I don't want anyone to die for me.  Especially not my friends."

He continued to hold me, one of his hands tracing large, lazy circles on my back in a very soothing manner.  I shifted, turning my head to look at him.  "Thank you, for...this," I said awkwardly.

He smiled and said, "It is no trouble at all.  I'm going to go wake the Iron Bull to take over the rest of my watch, and then I'll be back to stay with you."

"Actually," I said, straightening up, "I don't feel like going to sleep right now.  I can finish your watch and then take my own."

I stood and moved to leave the tent, but Solas caught my elbow and gently stopped me.  "You need to rest," he said, concerned.  "I can cast a spell that will keep the nightmares at bay."

I shook my head.  "I'll be fine, Solas.  I've had bad dreams before.  I just need to process everything.  I might as well do that by the fire as long as I'm awake."

"Then I will join you," he said in a tone that brooked no argument.

We settled ourselves down by the fire, and I stared up at the Breach.  "It had spread so large and so far in that future," I mused.  "It's good to see it's still small enough to be contained."

We sat in silence for a moment, listening to the peaceful night sounds and gazing at the sky.  "You said that world was an abomination, and that it should never come to exist," I whispered.  "And you were right.  I know Thedas has its faults, but...it's a beautiful, wonderful little world.  I'm glad that it is still safe, at least for now."

Solas brooded silently over my words, gazing into the fire.  I leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder.  Softly, I began to sing:

_I see trees of green, red roses too,_   
_I see them bloom for me and you,_   
_And I think to myself_   
_"What a wonderful world."_

_I see skies of blue and clouds of white,_   
_The bright blessed day and the dark sacred night,_   
_And I think to myself_   
_"What a wonderful world."_

_The colors of the rainbow,_   
_So pretty in the sky,_   
_Are also on the faces_   
_Of people going by._

_I see friends shaking hands,_   
_Saying, "How do you do?"_   
_They're really saying_   
_"I love you."_

_I hear babies cry, I watch them grow._   
_They'll learn much more than I'll ever know,_   
_And I think to myself_   
_"What a wonderful world."_

When I finished singing, I glanced over at Solas.  His hands were fisted in his tunic and his jaw was clenched.  Impulsively, I reached out to clasp his hand with my own.  He instantly schooled his face into a neutral expression and released his grip on his tunic, although he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Another beautiful song," he remarked.  "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"Anytime, Solas," I replied.  I felt completely relaxed and safe by his side as we kept watch together into the night.  At some point, I must have fallen asleep, because the next morning I found myself tucked into my bedroll with Solas snoring lightly by my side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from BioWare
> 
> "What a Wonderful World" by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss, sung by Louis Armstrong
> 
> I hope everyone had a lovely Mardi Gras! :)


	26. Sealing the Breach

My advisers were busy debating the merits of my decision to recruit the mages.  "It's not a matter for debate.  There will be abominations among the mages, and we must be prepared!" argued Cullen.

"If we rescind the offer of an alliance, it makes the Inquisition appear incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst," countered Josephine.

Cullen shook his head and turned to glare at me.  "What were you thinking, turning mages loose with no oversight?  The Veil is torn open!"

"What was I thinking?" I said quietly, my voice laced with venom.  "I was thinking that people do not deserve to be imprisoned for being born a certain way, something they have no control over.  I was thinking people who have not yet committed a crime do not deserve to be treated as criminals.  I was _thinking_ that no one deserves to be a slave.  But please, do explain how my _thinking_ was wrong."  Solas nodded silently in agreement, his mouth a tight, thin line.

Cullen didn't reply, choosing to scowl down at his feet instead.  "We need help to seal the Breach," I continued, the anger leaving my voice.  "The mages will provide that help.  They are doing so willingly, and we would all do well to remember that."

"I know we need them for the Breach, but they could do as much damage as the demons themselves!" Cullen protested.

"Yeah.  What he said," agreed Sera, while Iron Bull grunted his assent.

"And one of your soldiers could snap under pressure and kill his comrades, but we don't treat them any differently," I argued.

He scoffed and turned to Cassandra, "Why aren't you more upset by this?"

She replied, "While I may not completely agree with the decision, I support it.  The sole point of the Herald's mission was to gain the mages' aid, and that was accomplished."

"The voice of pragmatism speaks!  And here I was just starting to enjoy the circular arguments," drawled Dorian. 

"Closing the Breach is all that matters," I said definitively.  "We are still waiting on the mages to arrive from the Hinterlands.  I'm going to take a small party back there to take care of some business.  Cassandra, Sera, Varric, and Solas will join me.  Dorian and Vivienne, you will stay here to assess the mages as they arrive.  I want them organized according to skill and specialization.  Blackwall and Bull, you will assist Cullen in making sure the troops are ready in case this Elder One decides to try and stop us from sealing the Breach.  Calibrate the trebuchets and reinforce the walls."

"Excellent!  I've been wanting to see the Breach up close," Dorian quipped. 

"We should also look into this 'Dark Future' you saw.  The assassination of Empress Celene?  A demon army?" added Leliana.  At her words, Varric shot me a shrewd, calculating look, but said nothing.

"Sounds like something a Tevinter cult might do.  Orlais falls, the Imperium rises, chaos for everyone!" Dorian said.

"One battle at a time," Cullen broke in.  "It's going to take time to organize our troops and the mage recruits.  We should focus on sealing the Breach first."

"Well said, Commander," I smiled at him.  "Alright, everyone, get some rest.  We'll leave tomorrow, although perhaps not as early as last time."

The group dispersed and filed out of the War Room.  I hurried to catch up to Dorian.  "I'm very glad you're staying with us," I said. 

"Don't mention it," he said airily.  "The South is so charming and rustic, I adore it to little pieces."

I laughed.  "I feel the same.  Even though I haven't known you for very long, you have proven to be a very useful ally, and quite the talented mage.  There's no one I'd rather be stranded in time with, future or present."

He laughed with me.  "True!  But let's not get 'stranded' again anytime soon, yes?"

We strolled and chatted together for a while, getting to know one another.  We made our way to his cabin, where I told him about Earth and he told me about life in Tevinter.  He was fascinated by the technologies I described, and I made him tell me about Tevinter politics.

After a couple of hours, I thanked him for the stimulating conversation and left his cabin.  I started to make my way to the tavern to grab some dinner, only to be intercepted by a scowling Solas.

"Solas," I said in surprise.  "I was just on my way to get dinner.  Would you care to join me?"

"Of course, Herald," he said with a dip of his head, scowl still firmly in place.

"I hope you don't mind me dragging you out again without giving you a chance to rest," I said.

"Not at all," he replied tersely.  _Who pissed in his Cheerios_? I wondered.  "You are certain you experienced time travel?  Could it have been an illusion?  A trick of the Fade?" he asked suddenly.

"I'm certain it wasn't the Fade," I replied.  "Dorian is certain it was time travel as well."  We reached the tavern, and he held to door open for me as we entered.

"Oh, well if _Dorian_ thinks it was time travel, then it must be," he said sarcastically.

_He's jealous_ , I realized.  I tried to hide my smirk as we took a seat at one of the tables.  I briefly considered putting him out of his misery, but decided against it.  Dorian's secret was his own, and he would reveal it when the time was right.  "Will you be staying after we seal the Breach," I asked innocently, pretending I hadn't noticed anything was amiss.  "I know when we first met, you said you would stay until it was sealed.  Have you changed your mind?"

"I might stay a while longer," he conceded.  "The Inquisition is shaping into quite the influential organization under your leadership.  It will be interesting to see what changes you inflict on the world."

I chuckled, "I'm not exactly the leader.  They only listen to me because of this," I said, holding up the Anchor.  "I just happen to be the lucky idiot who carries it."

"Self depreciation is unnecessary; you have shown great strength of character and compassion over these last months.  Your decisions and actions have helped many people in need.  Your words carry weight, and where you lead, they will follow," he said, the scowl finally disappearing from his face.

"Well, in any case, I'm glad you're going to stick around.  I would miss you terribly," I grinned.

His sour mood abated, we chatted pleasantly over dinner.  He insisted on escorting me to my cabin, and I didn't protest.  He glared briefly in the direction of Dorian's cabin as we walked, but otherwise remained pleasant and cordial.  He wished me goodnight as he left me at my door, and I smiled to myself as I entered my cabin. 

Our journey to the Hinterlands was largely uneventful.  We passed the first groups of mages that were making their way towards Haven.  I took the time to stop and greet them; thanking them for their service.  Sera grumbled about how I was making us move slower, but I placated her with a few bawdy jokes and songs.

We made our way to Senna's grave to place flowers.  I also cleaned off some moss that had begun to creep over her gravestone and tidied up the grave a bit.  I then stood in front of the grave, taking a moment of silence to pay my respects to the dead.  When I turned to leave, Solas came up to my side.  "This was very...generous of you.  You far exceeded the widower's request, and even that was not required of you."

"Just trying to put a little more kindness into the world," I said lightly as we mounted our horses and prepared to find Lord Woolsley.  "Besides, I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.  Faithfully tending his wife's grave year after year?  Hits me right here," I said, tapping my heart.

We returned Lord Woolsley to his owner without much fuss and spoke with Senna's husband.  Then, I meandered through the village once more, speaking to the locals and mages who were still around.  Eventually, I lead us to the hut that I knew held a terrible truth.  As we stared at the skulls in grim horror, Solas said, "So each ocularum is made from the skull of a Tranquil."

"Every skull was...?  No, done thinking about it.  Done," said Sera.

I nodded, "I mean, I knew they had to come from somewhere, obviously skulls don't just materialize out of nothing, but this..."

Sera shivered in disgust, and Varric said "Poor bastards."

"I had wondered what had become of them," Solas said sadly.  "What a tragic waste."

"I wonder what the Venatori want with those shards we've been collecting," I mused.  "And what's so special about Tranquil skulls?"

Cassandra said, "We will send someone to give them a proper funeral."

I nodded and led us out of the hut.  "Let's go make a camp, it's getting late," I said.

As we were leaving the village, we crossed paths with the local storyteller.  She told us of a spirit of valor in Lake Luthias that would grant a favor if offered a gift of blood lotus.  I thanked her for the tale as we left.

That night, I said  "You know, this reminds me of another story about gifts from a lake."  I began to tell them the legends of King Arthur Pendragon and his knights of the round table.  I told of Merlin, Guinevere, Lancelot, Morgan de Fay, and Mordred.  I described Camelot, Excalibur, and the Lady of the Lake.  Cassandra seemed very interested in the tales of chivalry and courtly love, while Solas was fascinated by Merlin and his peculiar magic.  Sera and Varric enjoyed the more adventurous parts of the story, like Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.  Soon, it had grown late and I had to stop talking so we could get some rest.  I promised to tell them more Arthurian legends as we traveled the next day.

The next morning, we made our way to the lake and placed an offering of blood lotus in the provided bowl.  There was a shimmer of light, and the lotus was exchanged for a sword.  "Just like Excalibur!" breathed Cassandra.

"Yes...just like Excalibur," Varric commented, shooting me another calculating look.

I smiled and handed the sword to Cassandra.  "I think you should use this, Cassandra.  It is a higher quality than the one you are currently using."

"Thank you, Herald," she said, turning it this way and that, testing the balance and weight. 

"Think nothing of it," I said.  "I just want to make sure we've all got the best equipment available."

We took a couple of days to wander through the Hinterlands, finding missing people, killing bears, and other general peace-keeping duties.  After a few days, I determined that enough mages must have made it to Haven by now for us to attempt to seal the Breach, so I lead us back.

I was pleased to see that my instructions had been followed.  The strongest mages had been gathered and organized into a group that would accompany me to the Temple of Sacred Ashes.  Haven's defenses had been strengthened, and it was determined that we would attempt to seal the Breach the following day.

That night, I found that I couldn't sleep.  I was too nervous and anxious, pacing back and forth in my cabin.  I knew I was supposed to be able to seal the Breach, but the last time I had interacted with the thing, I had  been knocked unconscious for three days.  But more importantly, the attack on Haven would happen tomorrow night.  It was the first _big_ thing I was going to try to change, and I wasn't sure if I would succeed.  The price for failure would be too high.

I tossed and turned in my bed until the pink light of dawn filtered through my window.  Sighing, I gave up and made my way to the tavern for breakfast.  Once again, I was intercepted by Solas.

"How did you sleep?" he inquired with concern.

Groaning, I said, "I didn't.  I'm a bundle of nerves.  It will be a miracle if I'm able to keep any food down."

Solas frowned, but said nothing.  I felt a warm pulsing wave of energy wash over me, instantly soothing and calming me.  "Wow, thanks," I said, surprised.

"You should have come to me last night," he chastised gently.  "I could have helped you rest."

"Good to know for the future," I said as we walked into the tavern.  I choked down a few bites of bland oatmeal and grimaced as I downed a cup of strong tea that Flissa swore would boost my energy.  I had barely finished when Cassandra found me and dragged me out to lead the group that would be marching to the Temple of Sacred Ashes.  Josephine was waiting to spruce me up, claiming I must look as impressive as possible.

When she was finished with me, she made me go stand in front of the mages and soldiers and thrust my glowing green fist into the air.  I didn't particularly mind the theater, I understood its necessity and it helped distract me from my anxiety about the whole thing.

All too quickly, I found myself standing under the Breach, Solas commanding the mages to let their power flow to me so that I could draw upon it.  I tried not to stumble under the tidal wave of magic as I raised my hand towards the Breach.  I focused as hard as I could, but I felt like I would be torn apart between the power coming from the mages and the power emanating from the Breach.  Miraculously, I remained intact, and with one final _push_ I managed to wrangle control over the magic and shove it towards the Breach.

There was a blinding flash of light and a shock wave that knocked me flat on my back.  I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my blurred vision.  Cassandra's face swam into view, followed by Solas'.  After checking me over for injury, they helped me to my feet.  "You did it," Cassandra said proudly as the mages and soldiers erupted into cheers.

"I did it," I echoed disbelievingly as I raised my hand victoriously for the cheering crowd.  I smiled, reveling in the success of the moment, even though I knew what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from BioWare


	27. The Course of True Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of this chapter is from Solas' POV

Haven was one big celebration.  Everyone was singing, dancing, and drinking.  I joined in for a while, but soon found myself taking a break and removing myself from the festivities.  Cassandra found me and approached, saying, "Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm.  The Breach is sealed.  We've reports of lingering rifts, and many questions remain, but this was a victory.  Word of your heroism has spread."

"My so-called 'heroism' wouldn't have been possible without everyone's efforts.  Especially yours, Cassandra.  You should get as much credit as me, if not more."

She smiled lightly at my words.  "You're right.  This was a victory of alliance.  One of the few in recent memory.  With the Breach closed, that alliance will need new focus."

Right on cue, a warning cry was heard in the distance.  Flickering lights could be seen moving steadily towards Haven.  "Forces approaching!  To arms!" cried Cullen.

"What the...?  We must get to the gates!" Cassandra said, dragging me along.

I hurried to follow her.  Cullen was giving a report on the situation, "One watch guard reporting.  It's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain."

"Under what banner?" asked Josephine.

"None," he grimly replied.

"None?" gasped Josephine.  By now, my companions had all rushed to meet us at the gate.

The gates shuddered and light flared through them.  "I can't come in unless you open!" called a dearly familiar voice.

I jumped forward to yank the gates open just in time to see Cole finish off a group of Templars.  "I'm Cole.  I came to warn you.  To help.  People are coming to hurt you.  You probably already..." he broke off and turned to stare at me in amazement.  "You know.  You already know."

 _Please do not say anything else, Cole.  I'll explain it all later when we're safe, I promise,_ I thought as hard as I could.  He nodded and then turned towards Cullen.  "The Templars are coming to kill you."

"Templars?" Cullen exploded.  "Is this the Order's response to our talks with the mages?  Attacking blindly?"

"The Red Templars went to the Elder One.  You know him?  He knows you.  You took his mages.  There," he said, pointing.

Cullen peered at the mountaintop where Samson and Corypheus had appeared.  "I know that man...but this Elder One..."

"He's very angry that you took his mages," Cole said.  "He's coming for _you_ ," he said, pointing at me.  "The Elder One doesn't care about the village, he only wants the Herald.  He wants to kill you.  No one else matters, but he'll crush them, kill them anyway.  I don't like him," Cole declared.

"Enough chit-chat," I said brusquely.  "Leliana, Josephine, gather the civilians and start evacuating them using the secret path.  Chancellor Roderick will be able to help you guide people.  Don't let them waste any time packing; take only the bare essentials.  Cullen, get your soldiers and the mages ready for battle.  Fire the trebuchets at the tops of the mountain, hopefully we'll be able to cause an avalanche and wipe out the army."

"Like Mulan," declared Cassandra. 

I nodded and continued, "Once all the civilians are out, I want the soldiers and mages to start following them.  The important thing is to keep as many of us alive as possible; let's not be too proud to retreat.  Bull, Sera, and Vivienne, you will stay with me and assist the soldiers.  The rest of you help Leliana and Josephine with the civilians."

Half a dozen mouths opened to protest my plan.  I cut them off.  "No arguing!  We don't have time.  Let's move, people!"

Everyone began to snap into action, following my orders.  Cullen began to bark commands and encouragement to his soldiers, Josephine began to order people to leave their possessions behind and follow her in an orderly fashion.  My companions began to move to where I had told them, except for Solas.

He moved forward to grasp my elbow.  "I should stay with you," he argued.  "I am more familiar with this magic than Vivienne.  I'm also a better healer."

"That's why I need you with the civilians," I countered.  "We are about to send them out into a blizzard, and we have no time to gather blankets or extra clothes.  Healers will be necessary to help keep them alive."

He opened his mouth to argue, but before he could get a word out, I grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him down for a kiss, causing him to stiffen in surprise.   _What the hell,_ _I might as well change this if I'm changing everything else_ , I thought.  It was not nearly as romantic as I'd hoped.  Our mouths were just mashed together awkwardly, and after a few moments, I let him go, flushed with embarrassment.  _If I'm lucky, Corypheus will kill me and I won't have to explain this,_ I thought as I turned to leave.

He blinked at me in shock as I began to walk away to join the soldiers.  I had barely taken a step when I felt him grab me and whirl me back around to face him.  This time, it was him pulling me in for a kiss.  This one was much better.  Solas' lips moved against mine with a frantic urgency, his tongue pressing, begging for entrance.  I gladly parted my lips as he bent me backwards, his knee pressing between my legs.  His arms snaked around me, holding me firmly against him while I raised my own arms to entwine around his shoulders.  Time seemed to slow down and the rest of the world faded away; nothing remaining but our two bodies melding together.

When we finally broke apart, panting, I said, "Go with the civilians.  No arguing."

He nodded, dazed.  I was vaguely aware of a few catcalls and whistles from those who had observed our impromptu make-out session, but I turned my attention to the approaching army.  Some small groups of Templars had made it to Haven ahead of the others, but our soldiers were holding them off well enough.  In the distance, I could hear one of the trebuchets fire, then the other.  They both struck their marks, triggering a massive avalanche that wiped a giant chunk of the Templar army.

The soldiers erupted into cheers at our success, and Cullen approached me, saying, "Perhaps we won't have to evacuate after all."

I shook my head.  "Stick to the plan.  I want every single Templar defeated; only then will it be safe enough to return to Haven."

Cullen nodded.  Some straggling groups of Templars were still making their way to Haven, though our soldiers were dealing with them easily.  The reinforced walls and defenses gave us a superior position, for now.  More lights were coming into view; the rest of the Templar army was approaching.

"Fire the trebuchets again," I ordered.  Cullen gave the command to his soldiers, and soon the trebuchets were reloaded and firing at the mountain.  A few weak clouds of snow poofed up where they hit, but no avalanche.

"We're going to have to come up with another plan," Cullen said grimly.

As soon as he finished talking, a bone-chilling screech filled the night.  Corypheus' dragon swooped towards us, belching a fireball at one of the trebuchets, instantly rendering it into so many matchsticks.  "Retreat!" he roared.  "Back to the gates!"

We hustled back as fast as we could.  Haven was completely clear of civilians by that point.  I was incredibly grateful I had ordered an evacuation, as half the buildings were on fire and collapsing quickly.  We quickly realized that the Chantry was the only building with any chance of standing for long, so we dashed inside to regroup.  "Take the soldiers and follow the civilians," I ordered Cullen.  "The dragon has made it possible for the rest of the Templars to follow us.  I'll try to distract the Elder One.  I have a feeling he'll care more about this Mark than you.  I'll buy you as much time as I can, you must move quickly.  I'm going to have to bury Haven in snow to kill this thing.  Send up a signal when you are clear."

Cullen frowned.  "Herald, there are no tactics to make this survivable.  I cannot ask you to make this sacrifice."

I shook my head.  "I would gladly give my life to save the rest of you.  It is my choice to make.  We don't have time for you to argue with me.  Take the soldiers and go; I need you to protect the civilians."

He hesitated.  "Perhaps you will surprise it...find a way."

I smiled.  "Perhaps," I answered.  Then, I said, "Sera, Bull, Vivienne, come with me.  We're going to turn that trebuchet around and load it up.  When I tell you to retreat, you will obey without question, is that clear?"

When they had all nodded silently, I lead them out of the Chantry.  By now, the surviving Red Templars had made their way to us, making us fight our way towards the remaining trebuchet.  "We need to get it turned around as quickly as possible!" I shouted.

My companions and I took turns approaching the wheel that controlled the turntable while we battled against the Templars.  Just as we had almost gotten it in place, a giant monstrosity of red lyrium crashed towards us.  We abandoned the trebuchet completely to defeat him.  For a moment, I thought we were going to be defeated, but eventually Bull got close enough to land a killing blow.   _Great, we used up all our healing potions on that thing._

Panting with exertion, I managed to get the trebuchet into position.  "Time for you guys to retreat," I said.  An angry screech filled the night once more.  "Move!" I shouted as the dragon dove towards us.

A fireball knocked me off my feet.  By the time I regained my footing, my companions were gone.  I could just make out the back of Sera as she dashed into the Chantry after the others.  _At least they're safe,_ I reassured myself.  I turned my attention towards Corypheus as he approached me menacingly through the flames.

The dragon landed right next to me, causing the ground to shake so hard that I almost fell again.  The screech was much more deafening and intimidating from a few feet away.

"Enough!" barked Corypheus.  He raised his arms, releasing a wave of magic that yanked me around to face him.  "Pretender.  You toy with forces beyond your ken.  No more," he declared.

"I'm not afraid of you, you walking piece of rock candy!" I spat defiantly.

"Words mortals often hurl at the darkness.  Once they were mine.  They are always lies," he responded, unfazed.  "Know me.  Know what you have pretended to be.  Exalt the Elder One.  The _will_ that is Corypheus.  You will kneel."

"Um, I'm gonna go with 'No' on that one," I answered.  "I bow to no one."

"You will resist," he said.  "You will always resist.  It matters not."  He lifted the orb to his side.  _Alright, here's my shot..._ "I am here for the Anchor," Corypheus continued, causing the orb to glow.  "The process of removing it begins now."

As his hand shot towards me and jerked my left hand forward, I concentrated with all of my might on the connection between us.  I tugged back against the pull I felt emanating from him as hard as I could.  "It is your fault, 'Herald,'" Corypheus grunted in exertion.  "You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose."

I jerked and tugged on the connection with every ounce of energy I possessed, to no avail.  _Come to me, orb!  Come here!_   I thought as hard as I could.  "I do not know how you survived," continued Corypheus, "but what marks you as 'touched,' what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens."

He jerked hard on the connection, causing the Anchor to flare painfully.  I was knocked to my knees by the force; an involuntary moan of pain escaping my lips.  "And you used the Anchor to undo my work?" Corypheus sneered.  "The gall!"  _Alright, forget the orb...try opening a rift in his head._

I forced myself to look up at him.  "Could you _be_ any more cliché?" I asked sarcastically, channeling my inner Chandler Bing.  "I mean...the disfigurement, the dragon, the fucking monologue...do we need to get you a little sign to hang around your neck saying 'I'm a villain?'"  I held my hand out towards him, trying to manipulate the Anchor and open a rift as hard as I could.  Somehow, he was preventing me, blocking my efforts.  _Motherfucker_.

He scowled and marched over to where I lay on the ground, grabbing my left hand and jerking me to my feet.  "I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the Empire _in person_.  I found only chaos and corruption.  Dead whispers.  For a thousand years I was confused.  No more.  I have gathered the _will_ to return under no name but my own.  To champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world.  Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and _it was empty_!"

I opened my mouth to spout off another snarky response, but before I could draw breath Corypheus flung me against the trebuchet.  I cried out in pain as I felt my ribs break.  "The Anchor is permanent," he said as he approached me, "You have spoiled it with your stumbling.  So be it.  I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation - and _god_ \- it requires."

Finally, _finally_ , I saw Cullen's signal.  I grinned despite my pain, which seemed to really piss Corypheus off.  "And you.  I will not suffer even an unknowing rival.  You must die," he declared.

"Well, aren't you just a chatty Cathy?" I said, thrusting my chin out defiantly.  "That monologue just cost you big time," I shouted as I leapt to kick the release on the trebuchet.  Corypheus watched, stunned, as I triggered another avalanche.  "Smell ya later!" I called over my shoulder as I dove for the hidden mine shaft.  I could barely see Corypheus and his dragon escape before I crashed painfully through the rotten wood.  I landed with a sickening thud, my world exploding into white hot pain before mercifully fading into blackness.

_____________________________________

Solas stepped off the path to observe the crowd of people fleeing from Haven.  He watched to ensure there were no stragglers, but his thoughts were preoccupied by Amy.  His concern had begun as pragmatism, with a little guilt thrown in, he thought.  He had been mainly concerned with his mark as he had kept her alive in those early days, and perhaps a little curious as to how she had survived walking physically in the Fade.  She had merely been a vessel; a nameless Dalish maiden.

Then she had awoken and he had learned her story.  At first, he had entertained several theories about her.  Perhaps she was crazy, perhaps she was possessed, perhaps she was lying...  Eventually, he had come to accept that as strange as it may be, she was truly from another world.  If his curiosity had been piqued before, now it raged like a bonfire.  At first he had studied her like any other marvel.  He ran test after test with his magic, observed her movements and listened closely to her words.  He had even tried to learn more about her by observing her dreams in the Fade.

To his great surprise, she had been able to sense him, causing him to panic and assume the form of a wolf to prevent any recognition.  He had used that form again the first night she had tripped the wards he had set around the camp, and after that it just seemed natural to continue.  At first, the double-relationship had seemed like a good idea.  Amy told Mr. Wolf things she might never have revealed to Solas.  Now, he was beginning to regret the complications that were arising from his duplicity, but he had no idea how to reveal himself without breaking her trust.  With each passing day and each night spent as a wolf in the Fade, he found himself more entangled in his deception.  _Just one more secret identity_ , he thought wryly.

The more time he had spent with Amy, the more her beautiful spirit had shown through.  She was vivacious and witty, stubborn and gracious, caring and strong.  Her stories and songs were entrancing, and when she shared them he could forget this broken world for a short while.  She pulled him into wonderful and bewitching worlds; it was as if she was the Fade made flesh, and he could feel himself being drawn to her despite his best intentions.  He watched her push herself to the brink of exhaustion while helping others, saving a world that was not her own.  He observed as she inspired loyalty and trust, turning enemies into allies and allies into friends.  No one was too small or unimportant for her attention; she was as likely to engage a group of children in a snowball battle as she was to entertain a group of nobles over dinner.

He knew that it would be unwise to grow attached to her, and he could feel her pulling away whenever they grew too close.  He tried to follow her example, sternly reminding himself that loving her would only cause them both pain, but he was unable to resist for too long.  He had so many dark secrets, so many crushing regrets; he was not worthy of someone so bright and full of light and hope.  _You will only corrupt her, hurt her...you break everything you touch.  End it now_ , he told himself firmly, as he had a dozen times before. But then they had kissed...creators, that kiss...his fingers traced lightly over his lips where the taste of her still lingered.  _She kissed you first_ , whispered a smug, self-satisfied voice in his head, and he smiled in spite of himself.

Solas was jolted out of his reverie by Cassandra as she approached.  Her mouth was set in a hard, angry line, unspilled tears glittering in her eyes.  "Seeker?  What is the matter?" he asked her, concerned.

"Don't you realize what she's done?  What she plans to do?" she answered, clenching her jaw.  "Look at who she took with her; Iron Bull, Sera, Madame de Fer.  People who would not hesitate to leave her behind if she were to order them to do so.  She plans to sacrifice herself in some stupid, noble gesture."

Solas felt as though he had been struck by lightning.  "No," he breathed, even as he realized Cassandra was right.  _That is why she kissed you, you idiot!_ he raged internally.  _She thought she was going to die_.  "I'm going back," he said, turning to run against the flow of the crowd, ignoring Cassandra's shouts as he went.

He made it to the back of the group when he saw Cullen grimly speaking to Vivienne.  His heart nearly stopped beating as he saw Cullen nod somberly then fire a flaming arrow.  "Where is she?" Solas shouted.  "What are you doing?" he demanded angrily.

The crash of an avalanche precluded any response he might have been given.  He froze, his breath catching in his throat as he realized where that avalanche had been.  "No.  Nonono..."

Cullen's shoulders were stooped in sorrow.  "We need to keep moving," he said gently.  "Her sacrifice must not be in vain.  We need to get these people to safety.  There is a suitable place for us to set up a temporary camp not too far from here."

Solas stared at the commander in mute fury.  He knew Cullen's words were true, but they did nothing for the hollow emptiness that filled his heart.  Whirling on his heel, Solas stalked after the crowd of refugees.  Tears blurred his vision, threatening to spill over.  He didn't notice the spirit of Compassion approach until he spoke.

"Gone.  Dead.  The only bright light in this broken abomination of a world, and I left her to die alone.  My fault, all my fault...  But it's not your fault.  And she's not dead, although she is in a lot of pain, and she might not last much longer."

Solas jerked to a stop.  "You are certain?" he gasped, barely daring to hope.

Cole nodded.  "Amy is alive, but she does not have much time.  She is hurt, it all hurts, everything, so much pain..."

"Can you take me to her?" Solas interrupted him.

Cole nodded again.  "We must hurry then," Solas said, running to alert Cullen.

Cullen frowned and looked at Solas sympathetically when he heard his hurried explanation.  "Solas, it was not possible for her to have escaped the avalanche," he said gently.  "You must accept that she is gone.  This...thing is telling you what you want to hear.  It is likely a trap."

Solas gnashed his teeth in frustration.  "We don't have time for this," he spat.  "I'm going back for her.  Will you send some healers with me or not?"

Sighing, Cullen shook his head.  "We need every healer we have.  We cannot afford to send any after a hopeless cause.  Please, Solas, you need to accept that she is gone."

"Will you at least leave some signal fires for us to follow?" Solas pleaded, desperation coloring his voice.

Cullen nodded.  "I can do that.  Solas, I...I hope you find some answers.  And...I'm sorry."

Solas barely heard the commander's last words, as he had already turned back towards Haven.  Cole reappeared by his side.  "This way," said Cole, easily moving through the blizzard.  Cole lead Solas to a hidden tunnel of an abandoned mine.  "She is in here, but there are angry, dangerous spirits in there with her.  They will try to hurt us."

Solas nodded, grasping his staff.  There would be no time to be gentle with the spirits, unfortunately.  He and Cole made quick work of the demons they came across, finally making their way to Amy.  Solas gasped as he saw her.  Her femur was poking through her skin and her shoulder was clearly dislocated.  A quick burst of exploratory magic revealed cracked ribs, internal bleeding, and a fractured ankle; but she was also _alive_.  Her skin was pale, almost blue from the cold.  The cold had likely been what saved her life.

Grimly, Solas set to work.  He had Cole brace Amy as he set her leg and shoulder into place, then directed him to start a fire.  While Cole went off to gather some of the collapsed beams into a pile, Solas began to pour healing magic into Amy.  He could sense her bones knitting together and the worst of the bleeding stop.  Amy gasped as her eyes flew open.  She moaned in pain, and Solas tried to soothe her with his magic as best he could.  Despite his efforts, tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

"It hurts...It hurts...Oh my God, it hurts!" she whimpered.  "I want to go home, I don't want to play anymore, I'm done, I'm done, I want my Mom..." she began to babble.

"I'm sorry," Solas said, fishing a healing potion out of his pouch.  He managed to tip most of it down her throat.  "It will all be better soon," he murmured, downing a lyrium potion himself to replenish his depleted mana.

By the time Cole had a decent fire going, Solas had given Amy two more healing potions and depleted his mana yet again, but she was completely healed, save for a few bruises and a lingering stiffness in her newly mended bones.  He moved her to the fire, wrapping an arm around her as he huddled close to her side.  Cole silently sat on the other side of her, and the three of them huddled together while Amy slowly warmed up.

"Did they get out alright?" she finally asked.  "Did Corypheus or his army go after them?"

"They are safe," Cole answered her.  "You saved them.  You changed their fate.  Kept Corypheus from hurting them."

"Good," she whispered, her shivers slowly subsiding.

"What happened?" Solas asked, a pit of dread forming in his stomach at the mention of Corypheus.  First the Conclave, and now this...his plan to unlock his orb was having disastrous consequences.

Amy briefly described her interaction with Corypheus and subsequent landing in the mine shaft.  "...And then you saved my life, again," she said, turning to him with shining eyes.  Somehow, her hand had found his, fingers twining together as she gave it a gentle squeeze.

He almost kissed her again, right then and there, despite her still healing injuries and the fact that Cole was still pressed up against her other side.  For one blind, impulsive moment, he considered it.  Then, hating himself as he did so, he disentangled their hands and shifted slightly away from her.

"I must apologize for the kiss.  It was impulsive and ill-considered.  I should not have encouraged it."  _End it now, nip it in the bud before it goes too far_.

To his great surprise, Amy smiled up at him.  "You say that now, but you were the one who started using tongue," she teased him impishly.

Flustered, Solas found himself denying her accusation.  "I did no such thing!" he blustered, remembering all too well the feeling of her tongue against his own.

Amy quirked an eyebrow at him, and Cole helpfully supplied, "He did, both of you remember.  Heat, sparks, blood pumping, skin tingling, the promise of something more..."

"Thank you, Cole," Amy said firmly, cutting him off.  "In any case, Solas, there is no need to apologize for the kiss.  I quite enjoyed it, impulsive though it may have been.  You're a good kisser."

"I...thank you," he replied, blushing.  "It has been a long time.  I am not certain this is the best idea, it could lead to trouble."

Amy shrugged.  "'The course of true love never did run smooth,'" she said, obviously quoting a phrase she knew.  "I'm tired of fighting my feelings for you.  With every day that passes, it is less and less likely that I will find a way home.  I nearly died today, I've seen you die in another timeline.  This is my life now, I might as well enjoy it.  Who knows what tomorrow brings?  I understand if you don't feel the same way," she hurried to add, "but I needed to let you know."

Solas sat there, stunned by her frankness and use of the word 'love.'  He managed to stammer, "I...maybe.  Yes.  If I could take a little time to think.  There are...considerations."  _This is NOT ending it, you selfish, indulgent fool._

"Take all the time you need," Amy grinned.

"She plans to win you over," Cole chirped, a smile of his own on his face.  "She will charm you with stories and songs, little gestures of kindness and..."

"Thank you," Solas interrupted as Amy's face flushed even redder than his own.  He stood and gingerly helped Amy rise to her feet.  "We should try to catch up to the others.  They will want to know you're alive," he said, relishing in the feeling of her hand clasped in his.  _You are in trouble_ , he thought as he lead the three of them out into the cold, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue from BioWare
> 
> A quote from William Shakespeare
> 
> Yay! They finally kiss! XD
> 
> Also, this was one of the first chapters I ever wrote for this story. By the time I reached this point in the story, it had changed enough that I had to completely rewrite it. I think after I'm done, I might share the "deleted scenes" from the story. We'll see.


	28. I Hope You Dance

Solas and Cole and I made our way through the snow.  It was frigid and miserable, but Solas cast the occasional warming spell, so it was bearable.  The trail left by the refugees was easy enough to follow with guttering signal fires lighting the way.  Finally, we stumbled upon the edge of the make-shift camp.

"There!  It's them!" cried Cullen as he caught sight of us.

"Thank the Maker!" Cassandra said, relieved.

Before we knew it, we were surrounded by a crowd of worried, thankful people.  Solas and Cole somehow managed to melt away and I found myself being hugged and pawed at by dozens of people.  I tried to smile and greet the faces I knew; Iron Bull, Varric, Chancellor Roderick, Josephine, Vivienne.  Sera apologized for leaving me behind, Blackwall clapped me on the back, and Dorian crushed me to his chest in a bear hug.  Voices began to clamor, asking what had happened, how I had survived and escaped.  I tried my best to answer, but my voice barely carried over the din.

"Enough!  The Herald must rest," declared Leliana firmly as she grasped my arm and steered me rather forcefully towards one of the tents.  "Let the healers take a look at her," she announced, depositing me on a cot.  She listened to a brief summary of my experiences, promising to leave the more detailed account for when I had rested.

I managed to thank her before I sank down in exhaustion.  Except for the time I had spent unconscious in the mine shaft, I hadn't slept in nearly forty-eight hours.  Sealing the Breach, fighting Corypheus, healing from major injuries, and wandering through the snow had left me bone-tired, and my body was practically screaming for rest.  I quickly fell into a dreamless, restful sleep.

Sometime later, I found myself being roused from my much-needed rest by the sound of bickering.  I kept my eyes shut, hoping I would be able to go back to sleep.

"What would you have me tell them?  This isn't what we asked them to do?" came Cullen's voice.

"We cannot simply ignore this!  We must find a way!" retorted Cassandra.

"And who put you in charge?" Cullen snarled.  "We need a consensus, or we have nothing!"

"Please, we must use reason!" interjected Josephine.  "Without the infrastructure of the Inquisition, we're hobbled!"

"That can't come from nowhere!" countered Cullen.

"She didn't say it could," said Leliana, jumping to Josephine's defense.

"Enough!  This is getting us nowhere!" cried Cassandra in frustration.

Groaning, I gave up and opened my eyes.  Blinking to clear my vision, I turned my head to find Mother Giselle sitting patiently by my side.  "Shhh, you need rest," she soothed.

"Yeah, well that's not happening," I answered, jerking my head in the direction of my quarreling advisers.  "How long have they been like this?" I asked.

"A few hours," she answered with a small smile.  "They have that luxury, thanks to you.  The enemy could not follow, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame.  Infighting may threaten as much as this Corypheus."

"Great," I said, moving to stand.  "Time to go break up the squabbling match."

Mother Giselle gently placed a hand on my shoulder, keeping me on the cot.  "Another heated voice won't help.  Not even yours.  Perhaps especially yours," she added with a wry smile.  "Our leaders struggle because of what we witnessed.  We saw our defender stand...and fall.  And now, we have seen her _return_.   The more the enemy is beyond us, the more miraculous your actions appear.  And the more our trials seem ordained."

I sat up to face her fully as she continued.  "That is hard to accept, no?  What 'we' have been called to endure?  What 'we,' perhaps, must come to believe?"

"Mother Giselle, I get what you're trying to say, but I'm sorry to tell you that I don't believe in the Maker, or Andraste.  I'm not her Herald, I don't 'speak' to either of them.  I'm just an elf who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Corypheus is a real, physical threat.  Now, if your Maker comes and deals with this threat, I'll be your most devout convert.  Until then, we need more than faith alone."

I stood and started to make my way towards my advisers, knowing that Mother Giselle would be following behind me.  I listened as she began the familiar song, singing about the coming dawn.  I was not prepared for the wave of emotion that washed over me as the entire camp joined in.  Everyone gathered to sing, some kneeling and bowing to _me_.  I felt a lump rise in my throat as they finished the song, overwhelmed by the sincerity of the moment.

"An army needs more than an enemy.  It needs a cause," Mother Giselle said quietly before she moved away.

"A word?"  The request was familiar; although the voice making it was unexpected.  Varric stood before me, his arms crossed over his chest.

I nodded meekly and followed him to a secluded area.  When we were far enough away to not be overheard, he turned to me and said flatly, "You knew."

I gave him my best puzzled expression.  "I knew?  What did I know?"

"Everything," he continued.  "You knew about the time travel.  You knew about the sword in the lake.  You knew about Haven.  Don't deny it.  I'm a storyteller too, I know a thing or two about catering to your audience and picking the perfect story.  And that business with Chancellor Roderick...if we hadn't known about that path..." he shuddered.  Then he squared his shoulders and said, "How much more do you know?  What happens next?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose.  "Shit," I said.  Sighing in resignation, I answered, "I've played the game through to its conclusion several times.  I know a lot.  We were supposed to be caught with our pants down in Haven.  Almost everyone was supposed to die.  It's the first big thing I've changed.  I'm afraid to do too much, in case it means we can't defeat Corypheus in the end."

"So we're successful, then," he said, hopefully.

"In a manner of speaking," I said.  "There's a lot of pain and loss along the way, but I'm trying not to let that happen."

"Tell me," he demanded.

I bit my lip, "I...I can't tell you _everything_.  There are some secrets that will come out that should be allowed to happen in their own time.  But...there are some things I can tell you.  I plan on changing them, anyway, so hopefully they never happen."  I quickly summarized the events at the Winter Palace and Adamant, swearing that I wouldn't bring Hawke anywhere near the place as his jaw tightened.  I told him about Bianca and her involvement with the red lyrium.  I told him about the Temple of Mythal and the final battle.

"Well...shit," he said when I finished.  "What you're trying to do...it's..."

"Astronomical.  Crazy.  Hopeless," I supplied helpfully.

"Yeah," he said, exhaling forcefully.  "How do I always get mixed up in this stuff?" he muttered.

"You can't tell anyone," I said.  "I mean, _anyone_.  Cole probably already knows, with his whole mind-reading thing, but no one else can know.  It would ruin everything.  Thank God you're a dwarf, so no plucking it from your mind in the Fade."

Varric shook his head.  "Don't worry.  I won't tell anyone.  It's just a lot to take in."

"By the way, you realize I will be running to you to bitch and moan about this stuff now, right?" I said, trying to lighten the mood.  "I mean, you've practically volunteered.  That's what you get for being so nosey and observant."

He chuckled darkly.  "I don't mind.  No one should carry that burden alone.  Speaking of which, what's going on between you and Chuckles?"

I stared at my feet.  "I told him how I feel, he asked for time to make a decision, I'm giving it to him.  Not much more to tell at the moment."

He rolled his eyes.  "What, you haven't seen how it goes already?"

_If he only knew_.  "I know that he gets together with Ellana, if she pursues him," I answered evasively.  "I'm not too sure about Amy, though."

He gave me an awkward pat on the back, trying to be reassuring.  "I'm sure he'll come around," he said.  "He'd be an idiot not to."

"Thanks, Varric," I smiled.  "For...well, for everything.  Your discretion, your trust, your kindness.  I'm lucky to be your friend."

He waved my words aside with a smile and we started making our way back to the camp.  I spotted Solas pacing as we approached, clearly waiting for our return.  "Ah, Herald...might I have a word?" he said as he saw Varric and I walking towards him.

"Of course," I agreed, ignoring Varric's nudge to my ribs.

Solas lead me right back to the secluded area I had just left.  I couldn't quite suppress my grin as Solas began to speak.  "The humans have not raised one of our people so high for ages beyond counting," he said.

"Mother Giselle's faith is hard won, _lethallin_ , worthy of pride...save one detail."  He took a deep breath, steadying himself before going on.  "The threat Corypheus wields?  The orb he carried?  It is ours."

"Ours meaning the elves?" I asked.

"Er, yes," he said, flushing lightly at his slip of the tongue.  "Corypheus used the orb to open the Breach.  Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave.  We must find out how he survived...and we must prepare for their reaction, when they learn the orb is of our...my people."

"What is it exactly?  And how do you know about it?" I inquired, curious how much he would reveal.

"Such things were foci, said to channel power from our gods.  Some were dedicated to specific members of the pantheon.  All that remains are references in ruins, and faint visions of memory in the Fade, echoes of a dead empire."

"Whose is it?" I interrupted.  I knew I was treading on thin ice with the question, but I didn't care.

"I beg your pardon?" Solas stalled, his forehead furrowing.

"If these things were dedicated to specific elvhen gods, whose is this one?  And shouldn't there be at least eight more?  Why don't we seek them out, if for no other reason than to make sure Corypheus can't get his hands on them?"

He looked rather flustered as he tried to come up with an answer.  "I...I don't know," he managed to say.  "I didn't see the orb myself," he clarified, beginning to slide his unflappable mask back into place, "so I really couldn't say which god it belonged to.  Also, I have no idea where the other foci would be hidden.  How Corypheus found this one is a mystery," he lied.  "But however he came to it, the orb _is_ elvhen, and with it, he threatens the heart of human faith."

"From what I've seen of Thedas, they're going to find a way to blame the elves anyway," I replied.  I knew he wasn't going to just tell me everything, but still...I felt a wave of disappointment.

Solas smiled slightly, and said, "I suspect you are correct.  It is unfortunate, but we must be above suspicion to be seen as valued allies.  Faith in you is shaping this moment, but it needs room to grow.  By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it.  Changed _you_."  He hesitated slightly before continuing.  "There is a place to the north that waits for a force to hold it.  The Inquisition can build and grow there...it is called Skyhold."

"How do you know about this place, and why are you just telling me about it now?" I asked.  I was beginning to enjoy giving him a hard time, but I was trying not to push him too far.

"I have seen it in the Fade," he answered evasively.  "It is an ancient ruin that was originally elvhen, although it has been used by humans as well.  I did not share it at first because I did not trust the Inquisition with something so precious, although that has changed," he said, gazing at me fondly.

"Oh," I blushed.  "Well, we should let the others know as soon as possible.  We can't stay here for much longer.  Was that...Is there anything else you wished to discuss?" I hinted.  _Something like US?_

"Not at the moment," he said, turning a bit pink himself.  "You are right, we should tell the others about Skyhold.  Come," he said, holding out his arm to escort me.  I slipped my arm through his, enjoying the physical contact.

Relief flooded through my advisers as we told them that there was a huge, hidden, empty fortress just waiting to be taken.  Word quickly spread through the camp, and soon everyone was bustling with hope and renewed purpose.  Tents were pulled down, pack animals were loaded up, and soon we were making our way over the snowy mountains.

I walked at the front of the crowd, seemingly scouting the way.  In reality, Solas was at my side whispering instructions and guiding me along paths only he could see or remember.  I tried not to let my exhaustion show as I gasped in the thin mountain air.

"Panting.  Wheezing.  The mountains remind her of home, but they are so different.  Her mountains are old, so very old they are wearing down instead of growing.  Gentle slopes instead of steep.  No permanent layer of snow.  These mountains are too young, too high, the air too thin."

"Hello, Cole," I greeted him, once I had recovered from my shock at his sudden appearance.

"Hello," he answered.  "I like your mountains better too," he admitted.  "I like how they feel when you remember them.  The feeling of home.  The familiar winding roads, the forest where you hunt with your father, the house nestled on the eastern side, morning light streaming into your bedroom...you miss it very much," he concluded.

"Yes," I said, tears springing to my eyes.  "Very much."

"But you are happy here," he said, puzzled.  "If you were to return home, you would miss this place too.  No matter where you go, you are sad."  He frowned at that particular revelation.

"Oh, Cole," I said as we continued to climb, "not all sadness is bad.  Yes, I miss my home and my loved ones, but I also have happy memories.  Can you see those?"

When he nodded, I went on, "Pain is part of life, part of what makes us human.  Ideally, there is more joy and love than there is pain and sorrow, but it's all necessary.  It helps us grow and learn and develop."

"You have to make the most of the cards you've been dealt," Cole said, plucking the thought from my head.  "But you don't have any cards," he said, puzzled.

"I think the Herald means that she has chosen to make the best of her situation," interrupted Solas.  He had been quietly listening to our exchange with a pensive look on his face.

"Precisely," I smiled.  "I'm here now, whether I like it or not.  I could either sit around feeling sorry for myself or I could try to make a difference.  I might as well do good and find happiness where I can."

Cole beamed at me.  "I like you, Amy.  You help people."

"Well, I like you too, Cole," I laughed.

"Will you sing me the song you have in your head?" he asked.  "It's very pretty."  He gasped, "Oh!  It reminds you of me!"  His face split into a wide grin.

I flushed and glanced around nervously.  "Perhaps when we aren't in danger of being overheard," I said.

His face fell, and I groaned, helpless to resist his puppy-dog eyes.  "Solas," I said, "call for the others to rest.  Cole and I will scout ahead, far enough so that we won't be overheard."

"He wants to hear it, too," Cole said.

I looked over at Solas, who was busy turning pink.  "I will admit I am rather curious," he admitted.

"Very well.  You can scout ahead with us," I grinned.

Soon, Solas, Cole, and I found ourselves sufficiently far away, and I stopped walking and began to sing:

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder._  
_You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger._  
 _May you never take one single breath for granted._  
 _God forbid love ever leave you empty handed._  
 _I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean._  
 _Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens._  
 _Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,_  
 _And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,_

_I hope you dance, I hope you dance._

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance._  
_Never settle for the path of least resistance._  
 _Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking._  
 _Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making._  
 _Don't let some hellbent heart leave you bitter._  
 _When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider._  
 _Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,_  
 _And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,_

_I hope you dance, I hope you dance._

At this point, Cole began to sing along with me.  His voice was high, boyish, and clear.  He sang the words that harmonized with mine, clearly plucking them from my head.

_(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)_

I faltered, but managed to continue singing the song with him.

_I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)  
I hope you dance (Where those years have gone?)_

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean._  
_Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens._  
 _Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,_  
 _And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

_Dance_

_I hope you dance, I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)  
I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder?)_

"You have a lovely voice, Cole," I said when I finished.  "Can you hear any song I think of?"

He nodded.  "Each word reminds you of home, a knife to your heart.  But sometimes they make you happy, too.  You choose each song, each story, with such care, trying to help your friends.  I like hearing them."

"I concur," smiled Solas.  "That was a particularly lovely song.  Come, we are close.  Once we reach this summit, you will be able to see Skyhold," he promised.

The idea of seeing Skyhold in person spurred me forward with a renewed energy.  I quickly climbed to the top of the mountain, gasping in awe when I saw it.  The fortress seemed to spring from the mountain itself, extending its long bridge in welcome.  "Wow," I said, turning to see Solas beaming at me with pride. 

"It's amazing," I whispered, filled with wonder.  I pulled him in for a hug, flinging my arms around his neck.  "Thank you."

When I pulled away, he was smiling.  "It was my pleasure," he assured me.  "Come, we should return to the others.  If we hurry, we can be there by nightfall."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from BioWare
> 
> "I Hope You Dance" lyrics by Tia Sillers and Mark Sanders, sung by Lee Ann Womack
> 
> Finally made it to Skyhold after 28 chapters! It keeps growing...0_o


	29. Skyhold

We quickly settled into Skyhold.  The stone proved to be structurally sound, and the wooden or thatched parts were easily replaced or repaired.  After a few days of thorough cleaning, most of it was habitable.  People began claiming rooms and areas for their own.  Josephine managed to have most of our supply routes moved over almost seamlessly.  Within two weeks, it was hard to believe that we hadn't been operating out of Skyhold the entire time.  Everyone was hustling and bustling about with purpose, a new tavern had been constructed, routines had been established, and everyone had recovered from our chaotic journey.

Every day, more and more new faces arrived.  Word of our miraculous escape had spread, and Skyhold was becoming a pilgrimage site of sorts.  Many people came to see what the fuss was about, leaving once their curiosity was satisfied.  Even more came to stay, and despite my best efforts, I was no longer able to meet every person in the Inquisition.  I still took time every day to participate in the menial tasks around Skyhold, washing dishes, scrubbing floors, and helping with the laundry.  I enjoyed the opportunity to chat with the servants, and the tasks added some sense of normalcy to my day.

One day, as I was sweeping an area of the courtyard, Cassandra waved me over to join her in conversation.  I listened as she tried to "convince" me to be the Inquisitor, leading me up some stairs to a small platform, where Leliana waited with a sword.  Leliana held it out to me, a smile on her face, while Cassandra stated, "The Inquisition requires a leader; the one who has already been leading it."

A small crowd had started to gather.  "Cassandra, I'm touched.  I don't know what to say."

"Say you will not make me regret this," she smiled.  "This was meant to be.  Without you, there would be no Inquisition.  What it means for the future, how you lead us, that is entirely up to you."

I smiled as I took the sword from Leliana.  The crowd was continuing to grow, and I searched it for the familiar faces of my companions.  Bull was easy enough to spot as he towered over the crowd, and I soon picked out Dorian, Varric, Blackwall, Vivienne, and Sera.  I couldn't see Cole, although I suspected he was present and merely keeping out of sight.  Finally, I found Solas, hovering on the edge of the crowd, observing the events taking place.

"We will follow wherever you lead us," Cassandra said quietly.  She raised her voice, her question carrying out over the crowd, "Have our people been told?"

Josephine called back up to us, "They have, and soon, the world."

"Commander, will they follow?" cried Cassandra.

He turned to the crowd, shouting, "Inquisition, will you follow?"

The crowd erupted into cheers, fists pumping victoriously in the air.  "Will you fight?" cried Cullen, answered by more shouts of approval.  "Will we triumph?" he roared, whipping the crowd into a frenzy.

Whirling back towards me, he lifted his sword and shouted, "Your leader!  Your Herald!  Your Inquisitor!"

Smiling, I decided to add some words of my own.  "Brothers and sisters, together we will usher in a new age of liberty and equality for every man, woman, and child in Thedas.  We will bring Corypheus to his knees, and we will change the world.  Together, anything is possible.  Together, we are...the INQUISITION!"  With that, I hoisted the ornate sword over my head as triumphantly as I could.

The crowd erupted in cheers, although the few nobles present had uneasy looks on their faces as they joined in.  Sera was whooping and cheering gleefully at my words, and Solas was studying me carefully.  Leliana leaned in and whispered in my ear, "We should gather in the War Room.  There is much to discuss."  I nodded, waved to the crowd once more, then turned to follow her.

Once my advisers and inner circle had all been gathered, I got down to business.  "We don't know much about Corypheus, except that he wanted the Anchor and he has this orb in his possession that gives him great power," I said.  "According to Solas, there were more of these orbs long ago, and they were powerful foci.  I think we should see if any of the rest of them survive.  It would help if we knew how Corypheus got his hands on this one.  Has Alexius been cooperative?  Perhaps he could tell us."

Sera balked.  "Why would you talk to that arsehole?  Just lop his head off and be done with it."

I shook my head, "No.  He is far more useful alive.  It doesn't excuse his actions, but there isn't much a parent wouldn't do to save their child.  If he is able to help us, let him.  He might be able to atone for the pain he caused."

"I do not think the Inquisition should be wasting their resources on something so unlikely to yield results," Solas said.  "The memories in the Fade are very old and probably inaccurate.  Our limited time and energy would be better expended elsewhere."

"It won't be a main focus," I agreed, "especially since we have some actual insight into Corypheus' future plans thanks to the whole time-travel thing.  But it cannot be completely ignored.  Leliana, put out some feelers.  Solas, Dorian, Vivienne; are there any divination spells or something that could help?"

"I will ask my contacts in Tevinter," promised Dorian, while Vivienne agreed to reach out to a few powerful mages she knew as well.

"There is still the matter of the assassination of Empress Celene," Leliana said.

"Imagine the chaos her death would cause," shuddered Josephine.  "With his army..."

"An army he'll bolster with a massive force of demons, or so the future tells us," added Cullen.

"Corypheus could conquer the entire south of Thedas, god or no god," Josephine finished.

Leliana sighed.  "I'd feel better if we knew more about what we were dealing with."

Varric cleared his throat.  "I know someone who can help with that," he said, giving me a significant glance.  "Everyone acting all inspirational jogged my memory, so I sent a message to an old friend.  She's crossed paths with Corypheus before, and may know more about what he's doing.  She can help."

I smiled warmly at him.  I had wondered if he would still bring Hawke into this mess after what I had told him, despite my promises to keep her safe.  "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Varric.  Please introduce us and let her know she is welcome."

"It might take her a while to get here," Varric said, "and even then, it would be best to keep the meeting private.  Don't want to cause a fuss."

Cassandra's face darkened in anger.  I started talking before she could say something inflammatory.  "Very well.  Cassandra, Blackwall, Cole, Solas, and I will be leaving as soon as we can for the Exalted Plains.  We'll swing through the Emerald Graves on the way back.  Varric, you will stay here and wait to greet your friend.  Dorian and Vivienne, you will look into these foci.  Bull, I have some tasks for you and the Chargers I'd like you to look into.  Sera..."

"I'm coming with you, yeah?" she asked, eyes pleading.  "Don't make me stay behind with nothing to do.  Who knows what trouble I'll get into," she hinted.

"Very well, Sera.  You'll accompany us.  Now, on to other matters...I would like to start a school at Skyhold for all children within the Inquisition.  And I mean ALL children, regardless of race, station, or gender.  The funds for the instructors' salaries and supplies will come out of the Inquisition's coffers.  Our early goals should be literacy and a basic grasp of arithmetic, but I also want there to be a focus on philosophy, history, and science.  Once the students have a grasp of how to read and write in Common, I want them to become fluent in another language.  Fortunately, we have people who speak Antivan, Elvhen, Tevene, Nevarran, Qunlat, and Orlesian in this very room."

There was some uncomfortable shifting among my companions, none of them willing to make eye contact with me.  "Oh, for the love of...I'm not asking you to teach the classes yourselves.  I just want you to make some materials or recommend some books for learning the languages.  We should also look into finding some stuff in Ander and Rivaini as well.  So in your spare time, start writing down useful phrases in your native language and Common.  Give those materials to Leliana, who can pass them on to the instructors.  Can you all agree to that?"

They all nodded in agreement, only grumbling slightly.  I took it as a victory.  Leliana's eyes were sparkling as she turned the idea over in her mind.  "Any child who shows promise with languages could be recruited as a spy," she grinned.  "This idea could be quite beneficial, Inquisitor."

"Also, equal access to education means a world with more equality and better standards of living," I added.  "For now, we can only take care of the children within the Inquisition, but hopefully we can expand in a few years."  A few additional details were discussed, such as bringing an arcanist to the Inquisition and various plans for improvements to Skyhold.  It was decided that we would depart for the Exalted Plains in a few weeks while supplies were gathered.

I fell into something of a routine during those weeks.  I would rise at dawn in my _ridiculously_ large bed, wash and dress, and make my way down to the tavern for breakfast.  I would make my way down to the training yard to observe and occasionally train with the soldiers.  I would then spend the remaining time before lunch completing various tasks around Skyhold and chatting with members of the Inquisition.  For lunch, I would go to the War Room and listen to various reports, munching on the sandwiches Josephine always had brought to us.  Then I would spend time with my companions if I could find them.

Sometimes I sparred with Cassandra or watched Blackwall carve.  Other times, I joined Sera in a prank or chatted with Cole about his efforts to help people.  I choked down a few drinks with Bull and sat through some etiquette lessons with Vivienne.  Varric was always ready with a story, and Dorian provided me with juicy gossip while he helped me find several interesting books.  My favorite, naturally, was watching Solas as he covered the blank walls of the rotunda with beautiful paintings.  I would lie quietly on the couch with one of my books, sometimes reading, sometimes watching him make smooth, sure strokes with a paintbrush.  We spoke very little, as I was trying not to pressure him into a decision, but we were both content.

In the evenings, I would eat dinner in the tavern, possibly join in a dance or two, then help wash the dishes.  I would slowly wander back to my room, stopping to chat with various people along the way.  When I finally made it back to my room, I would step out onto the balcony and gaze up at the stars.  I would enjoy the brief moment of solitude before I went to bed and began the whole process once more.

In the weeks before we left, Bull, Dorian, Cullen, and I formed a bit of a chess club.  It began when I approached Cullen, only to find him and Dorian in the middle of a game. 

"Gloat all you like, I have this one," Cullen said confidently.

"Are you _sassing_ me, Commander?  I didn't know you had it in you," drawled Dorian.

"Why do I even...Inquisitor!" Cullen jumped to his feet, startled by my presence.

I waved for him to sit back down.  "Leaving, are you?  Does this mean I win?" teased Dorian.

"Please don't stop on my account," I said, sitting down to watch the end of the game.

"You need to come to terms with my inevitable victory, you'll feel much better," Dorian said, moving another piece.

"Really?" smirked Cullen, moving a piece of his own.  "Because I just won, and I feel fine!"

"Don't get smug.  There'll be no living with you," Dorian said as he sauntered off.

I took Dorian's seat and played a few matches against Cullen.  I knew the basics of chess, how the pieces moved and that capturing the king was the goal, but I had almost no strategy.  Cullen quickly and thoroughly defeated me every time, but we managed to have a pleasant conversation.  I promised to return the next day.

When I approached Cullen again, he was once more in the middle of a match with Dorian.  I tried to study their moves as best I could, and this time, when they finished, Dorian stayed to chat.  He watched Cullen beat me in a handful of moves, and shook his head.  " _Kaffas_!  You are terrible, Inquisitor.  Here," he said, reversing the pieces several moves, "you should have done _this_."

Cullen frowned, and made a countermove, but Dorian slid the bishop across the board and triumphantly declared, "Checkmate!"

"You mean I was that close, and I lost?" I grumbled. 

"Chess is all about military strategy," said Cullen, trying to console me.  "You have had almost no military training."

Dorian shook his head.  "It's a logic exercise," he argued.

"Hmmm," I murmured while they argued and bantered.  I remembered that Iron Bull was proficient at chess, and I made it a point to seek him out before the next day's match, inviting him to join us on the condition that he gave me some help learning the game.

For the next several days, the four of us would meet and play chess for an hour or so in the afternoon.  I tried to learn the finer points of the game, but I was distracted by the conversations with my companions.  Bull and Dorian tended to squabble, although they both teased Cullen mercilessly.  I tended to stay quiet, enjoying their company.

One afternoon, Dorian and I were leaving the informal gathering, and I was beaming from ear to ear.  I had finally won my first game.  Cullen had been a gracious loser while Bull and Dorian had clapped me on the back and congratulated me on my long overdue victory.  Bull had stayed behind to play one more match against Cullen, and Dorian had suggested a celebratory drink in the tavern.

We were laughing and chatting as we strolled arm in arm when we were interrupted by a frowning Solas.  "Inquisitor," he said stiffly, "may I have a word?"

Dorian smirked as he noticed Solas' discomfort.  He released my arm from his, only to grasp my hand and raise it to his lips.  Giving me a roguish wink as he kissed my hand, he said, "It seems your charming company is in high demand.  We'll have those drinks another time."

I giggled and blushed in spite of myself, and Solas' frown deepened into a full-blown scowl.  Dorian swaggered off and I cleared my throat, saying, "Of course, Solas.  What did you want to talk about?"

He glared daggers at the retreating figure of Dorian, but his voice remained calm as he said, "There are several matters I wish to discuss, actually.  Your interest in the elvhen foci, for one.  And there have been some...concerns voiced about Cole's presence here."

"Oh?" I said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Vivienne and Cassandra in particular have raised objections.  Sera has complained too, but she is less...influential," he elaborated.

"Well, they are going to have to get used to it.  Cole will be staying with us for as long as he pleases," I said firmly.  "I'll speak with them, don't worry."

"Thank you, Amy," he said as we made our way towards his rotunda.  "I'm sure he will appreciate being able to help."  We walked in silence for a moment, his face once more a careful, neutral mask.

"So...you wanted to talk about the foci?" I prompted.

"Yes," he said, his ears turning the lightest shade of pink.  "It is not safe for us to discuss them so publicly.  I was wondering if I might see you later this evening..."

CRASH!  Solas had moved to hold the door open for me, and I had stepped through just in time for a bucket full of honey to tip over onto my head.  I heard muffled cursing coming from the third floor of the rotunda, and I glanced up in time to see Sera's head duck behind the railing.

Several people rushed forward to help me; someone shoved a towel at me and I used it to mop the worst of the honey from my face.  The situation began to sink in, and I threw my head back and laughed as I imagined what I must look like.  "Sera!" I called, watching her peer cautiously over the railing.  "You're going to help out with the laundry tomorrow.  They're going to have a lot of extra work due to you."

My laughter had prompted ripples of mirth to carry through the rotunda.  Sera grinned at me, shouting, "Sorry!  It wasn't meant for you, if it means anything."

I nodded and waved, turning to Solas.  "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to go change.  Perhaps we can finish this conversation another time.  Later this evening, I believe you said?"

"Of course, Inquisitor," he said, inclining his head.  I saw him shoot a frown at Sera as I left, but I didn't stay to see if he would confront her.

With that, I made my way to my chambers.  Cursing softly, I jogged up the stairs and fumbled towards the wash basin.  The honey would take forever to wash out of my hair, and I grumbled as I peeled off my sticky tunic.  I bent over the wash basin, preparing to dunk my head when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye as something shifted on my bed.

Whirling around, I reached for the dagger on my hip, only to see the Iron Bull sitting seductively.  My hand paused on its journey, hovering over my dagger as my brain tried to process what it was seeing.

He raised a placating hand to me, saying, "So, listen, I've caught the hints.  I get what you're saying.  You want to _ride the bull_.”

_What the actual fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue by BioWare
> 
> And what exactly IS Bull doing in Amy's chambers? 0_o


	30. Mess With The Bull, Get The Horns

My brain seemed to stop working for a moment, as I gaped at the Iron Bull.  As he started to advance towards me, my thoughts raced.  Had I said something, done something to lead him on?  What could I have possibly done to make him think I wanted... _this!_  

"Can't say I blame you," he smirked.  "But I'm not sure you know what you're asking.  Not sure if you're ready for it."  _Was it the chess matches?  Surely not..._

He was still advancing towards me, slowly and purposefully.  I began to back away, until I felt the wall press up behind me and block my retreat.  Bull leaned over me and gave me a seductive grin.  I gulped nervously, suddenly very aware that my chest was covered by nothing but a breast-band and honey.  I glanced nervously around the room, anything to avoid eye-contact.  _Wait a minute...I didn't leave those papers there..._  I glanced around the room some more, this time with purpose, and sure enough, I noticed a few more things that were ever so slightly out of place.  _Bull, you sonofabitch, you think you can rifle through my things and then seduce me as a distraction?  It is ON, big guy!_

I chewed my lower lip nervously, shyly meeting his gaze.  "Your offer is very kind, Bull, and I want to accept, but first, I must ask my Keeper's permission."

A puzzled look passed over his face.  "You need to ask your Keeper for permission to..."

"To get married, yes," I hastily finished for him.  "You are a good man, Bull.  You have earned the loyalty of your Chargers, you are a very skilled warrior, and you are very pleasing to look at.  I would be honored to have you as my husband."

"Wait a minute..." he began to say, a note of panic rising in his voice.

"Keeper Deshanna might have some reservations, of course.  You are a Qunari after all.  But I am certain she could be swayed.  I'm sure Josephine will insist on some kind of shem ceremony, which will probably have to wait until Corypheus is defeated.  But my Keeper will be satisfied with our bonding as soon as we say the words and plant a tree, which can happen as soon as she gives permission.  I admit that I was hoping for more of a courtship, and I am not in love with you, but I'm sure that love will come in time.  And then there's the matter of children...

"Children?!" he balked, backing away from me.  I hastily closed the distance between us. 

"Honestly, I don't know if Qunari and elves are able to have children.  Even if they are, would I be able to survive the birth?  Hmmm...perhaps we can adopt.  I didn't think the Qunari took wives or had families."  He continued to back away, and I continued to pursue him earnestly.

"We don't," he babbled, as his eye widened, clearly panicked now.

"Oh, Bull!  You're offering to give up the Qun for me?  That's...that's incredibly romantic," I gasped, clasping my hands to my chest while I plastered the gooiest, mushiest love-struck expression I could on my face.  "Perhaps love will grow between us faster than I thought," I cooed, fluttering my eyelashes.

"Um...heh...you see...There seems to be some misunderstanding," he stammered.  "I'm not...proposing to you."

By now, his back was against the wall, and I was the one blocking his escape.  I decided to go full crazy girlfriend on him.  "What?" I cried, glaring at him.  "You're changing your mind?  Why?  What did I do?  Is it something I said?  Is it because I can't bear your children?  Why don't you want me?  Why am I not good enough?" I wailed.

"No, no," he hurried to appease me.  "It's not you, it's me.  I wasn't proposing marriage, I was just proposing...a one night of fun kind of thing.  Nothing serious."

"How dare you?!" I shrieked.  "What kind of woman do you think I am?  Some casual dalliance that you can cast to the side when you've had your fun?  I don't think so, asshole.  I've never been so insulted in my life!  You'll regret this, Iron Bull, mark my words!  I am the INQUISITOR!"

"Oh, boy...Um, boss, here's the thing..." he began nervously.

I couldn't stop myself from cracking a mischievous grin.  His eye narrowed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  "You're messing with me," he growled.

I burst into laughter.  "Oh, Bull, you should have seen your face!" I gasped.  "I really had you going!"

He groaned and buried his face in his palms.  "I can't believe I fell for that!" he said, starting to chuckle.

"You deserved it," I chortled.  "Trying to distract me from your spying by seducing me?  What were you thinking?"

He shrugged, not at all ashamed for being called out on what he had been doing.  "I figured it was worth a shot.  It's kind of my go to, in these situations."

"You're shitting me.  That's actually worked for you in the past?" I asked incredulously.

"You have no idea," Bull replied.  "This is actually one of the few times it's failed me."

"Someday, you'll have to share those stories with me," I chortled.  "I can't believe you thought that would work on me."

I cocked my head, suddenly curious.  "I haven't lead you on at all, have I?  I mean, surely you've noticed that I'm...well, I like Solas," I blurted, blushing slightly.

Bull shrugged again.  "I know.  I just thought he had rejected you, so I figured I'd give the seduction a shot."

Pursing my lips, I said, "He didn't reject me.  He said he just needs time to think about it."

Bull rolled his eye.  "Right.  I've heard that one before.  Let me tell you, it's bullshit.  There's nothing to 'think' about.  He either wants to be with you or he doesn't.  Want me to knock some sense into him, boss?"

I snorted.  "I must decline your generous offer.  He can take all the time he needs.  So, did you at least find anything interesting?" I asked, changing the subject.

He shook his head.  "Nothing I didn't already know.  Whatever your secrets are, they're well guarded."

"What secrets?" I blinked up at him innocently.

He quirked an eyebrow, and replied, "I know you're hiding something.  It's obvious.  You don't speak or move like a Dalish elf, although you look like one.  If you've shared your secrets with anyone, they've been loyal and tight-lipped.  It's my job to uncover secrets, nothing personal."

I glared up at him.  "And I have a right to keep my personal life private.  Just because you were upfront about being a spy doesn't mean I'm going to give you unrestricted access.  I like you, Bull, I really do.  But I am telling you to _drop it_.  You will give Leliana a full report of your actions.  And I mean a _full_ report, am I clear?"

He nodded his head.  "Of course, Inquisitor.  Now, I believe you need to clean up.  I'll see myself out."  And with that, he was lumbering away down the stairs.

I grumbled to myself as I made my way back towards the wash basin.  I didn't believe for a second that he was going to let the matter drop, but there was little I could do about it at the moment.  I scrubbed and scrubbed at my face, shoulders, and hair.  After three rounds of soaping, scrubbing, and rinsing, I had managed to rid myself of the worst of the honey.  At least my hair was pleasantly soft and sweet- smelling when I was done.  I quickly threw on some fresh clothes and made my way downstairs.

By now, the sun had set.  I hurried down to the tavern to grab some dinner.  I found Leliana and brought her up to speed.  Bull had taken my instructions seriously.  She could barely contain her mirth as she confirmed the details he had given her.  She seemed to think the whole affair was a marvelous joke, at my expense, of course.

Leliana declared that she would be posting a guard at my door from now on to prevent a repeat occurrence.  I mentally cursed Bull for one more sliver of privacy slipping away.  Eventually, Leliana thanked me and bid me good-night.

"Don't be too hard on Bull," I said as I left.  "Poor guy didn't even find anything good."  She agreed, and I made my way back to my room, hoping that I hadn't missed Solas. 

While I had been at dinner, someone had started a fire in the fireplace and taken away my soiled clothes.  I grabbed a book and settled into the large, comfy chair Josephine had ordered from Orlais.  I figured I might as well be occupied while I waited.  But the book was less than captivating, the fire was warm, my belly was full, and it had been a long day.  Before long, I found myself wandering in the Fade.

I immediately recognized my grandmother's kitchen, and the heavenly aroma of her cooking.  "Would you like to lick the spoon, nugget?" she asked as she slid a tray of chocolate chip cookies into the oven.  "They'll be done in a few minutes...why, nugget, what's wrong?"

I had flung myself across the kitchen and wrapped her in a bear hug.  "Oh, Grandma...I've missed you so much!" I sobbed.  She had passed away when I was twelve, and I didn't want to let her go.

"It's alright, Amy," she soothed me, patting my back.  She pulled back and grinned at me.  "I'll bet some cookies will dry those tears right up!"

I laughed through my tears.  "I'm sure they will, Grandma.  Now, didn't I hear you mention a spoon?"

Soon, we were munching on warm, gooey cookies together while I poured out all my troubles to her.  She listened to me agonize over literally having the weight of the world on my shoulders, how I doubted and fretted over every decision, and how I missed home.  She nodded and murmured sympathy in all the right places, offering me encouragement and support.

"And then there's Solas," I said.  "He's...It's...complicated."  I gestured vaguely, causing my grandmother to frown.

A throat cleared behind me.  "I hope I'm not intruding," came a familiar voice.  I whirled around to find Solas standing there in his elf form.

"Solas," I said, gaping dumbly at him.  "What are you doing here?  In my dream?  I didn't summon you, did I?  Or are you even Solas?" I said, my eyes narrowing.  "You could be a demon pretending to look like him.  Which is kind of dumb, if you are, because all I have to do is talk to Solas when I wake up, and I'll figure it out."

He smiled indulgently.  "It's me, Amy.  You may confirm this in the waking world, if you wish.  You didn't summon me, I came to your room to speak with you, but I found you already asleep.  I took the liberty of moving you to your bed.  Rather than wake you, I decided to join you in the Fade and converse with you here," he replied.

"Oh," I said awkwardly.  "I'm sorry about that.  It's been a long day."

My grandmother coughed deliberately.  "Where are my manners?  Solas, this is my grandmother.  Or...the memory of her, or something.  Grandma, this is Solas."

"The complicated Solas," she said, giving him a measuring look before granting him a stiff nod of approval.  "Sit down, young man.  I'll fix you something to eat.  You're nothing but skin and bones!"

"That is not necessary, but thank you," he said, to no avail.  She was already bustling off to the stove.

"It's useless to resist," I grinned.  "Stronger men than you have tried and failed.  When Grandma decides to feed you, you eat."

"Very well," he smiled, taking a seat.  "It appears that the spirits are very eager to assist you in forming your dream.  Your mastery of the Fade is astonishing and impressive.  Not many are able to shape it to their will as easily."

I shifted uncomfortably, frowning at the reminder that the woman puttering around the kitchen wasn't _really_ my grandmother.  "So, you wanted to talk?" I asked, grabbing another cookie.

"Yes.  About the foci.  I do not believe it is wise to search them out," he said, selecting a cookie for himself.

"Care to elaborate?" I prodded.

Sighing, he answered, "On the chance that any remain in existence and can be found, they are far too dangerous.  The power they contain would kill any who wield them.  I do not know how Corypheus is able to use the orb and live," he admitted.

"Fine, we won't use them ourselves.  But if they can be destroyed, why shouldn't we seek them out to prevent Corypheus or anyone else from using them?  If they are too dangerous to use, shouldn't they be destroyed?" I asked.

"Do you really believe you will be able to destroy them without opposition?  Would Leliana, Cassandra, or Cullen stand by while you tossed aside such a powerful weapon?  My word alone would not persuade them of the dangers.  The risk is simply too great," he declared adamantly.

"So you're not worried that Corypheus might find them?  We already know he is capable of using them.  If he tore open the breach with one, what would he be capable of with more?"

"I do not think Corypheus will be able to find the other foci," he replied carefully.  "In fact, it is possible that your efforts to uncover them would allow him to learn of their existence.  I do not believe Corypheus understands the nature of the power he wields, so he would not think to look for more."

I mulled his words over in my mind.  In many ways, he was right.  I was playing with fire by tampering with such a potential game-changer, but I couldn't completely abandon the idea.  Especially when he was so insistent that I give it up.  He might be genuinely worried about the risks involved, or he might have an ulterior motive.

"I will leave the matter be, _for now_ ," I finally said.  "You are clearly the one who knows the most about these foci, even if you're not willing to share the information.  I trust your judgment, but there might come a time when I decide we need to revisit the idea.  If that time comes, I will expect your complete cooperation, is that clear?"

He dipped his head, conceding the issue.  "Thank you, Amy.  Your wisdom continues to impress me."

"So...while we're here, I was wondering about something you mentioned a while ago, when you were teasing Sera.  You said something about some elves having latent magic?"

"Ah, yes.  Elves are more predisposed to magic than the other races, and some of them have latent abilities that can be brought to the surface with proper training."

"You know these proper training methods, I presume?" I grinned.  When he nodded, I asked, "Would you be willing to show me?"

"Certainly," he replied.  "In fact, given your mastery of the Fade, I am surprised that you are not already a very powerful mage.  Your will is very strong."

"That sounds like a polite way of saying I'm stubborn and bull-headed," I joked.

He cracked a smile.  "Speaking of bulls, I heard the most _interesting_ rumor on my way to speak with you."

Groaning, I buried my head in my hands.  "Does the entire Inquisition know yet?" I asked.

Solas' smile grew wider.  "Probably only the people in Skyhold.  I imagine it will take a couple of days at least for the story to reach the people in the field.  What happened, exactly?"

I gave him a brief, sanitized version of events, leaving out the part where Bull offered to "knock some sense" into Solas.  "I should thank Sera, really.  If she hadn't pulled that prank, I wouldn't have gone back to my room until after dinner, and Bull probably would have covered his tracks well enough that I wouldn't have noticed."

"I believe the bucket was meant for me," Solas said.  "I'm sorry you took it in my stead.  I am not surprised the Iron Bull was spying on you, and I still don't think it is wise to have a Qunari spy in our ranks, but I think you handled the situation well."

My grandmother made her way back to us with plates full of cornbread, okra, and fried chicken.  She brought us a pitcher of lemonade, saying, "Eat!  Put some meat on your bones."

I happily helped myself, digging in to the food with relish.  I closed my eyes and moaned with pleasure at the taste of the cornbread.  "I miss Earth food so much," I admitted, washing the bite down with the lemonade.  "It's nice to taste it in the Fade, but it never really satisfies me.  Still, it's better than nothing."

Solas was picking at his food with small, cautious bites.  He seemed to find it palatable, as he began to take larger bites.  "I would imagine there are many things you miss," he sympathized.  "You have accepted the mantle of leadership with remarkable grace.  Providing an education for the children of the Inquisition was particularly inspired.  I have no doubt that you will change the world."  He paused, gazing steadily into my eyes.

"You change _everything_ ," he said with sincerity, a melancholy look passing over his face.

I reached out and grabbed his hand.  He didn't pull away.  I wanted to kiss him, but I restrained myself.  _Don't push him, don't rush it_.  Slowly, he moved his other hand to gently cup the side of my face.  The Fade swirled around us, and suddenly we were in an open field of flowers.  I leaned into his touch, my eyelashes fluttering shut.  He brought his forehead to rest against mine, our noses touching, our breaths mingling.

My stomach fluttered in anticipation as he brought his hand under my chin and gently tilted it upwards.  His lips were about to brush against mine when he was jerked away.  I found myself grasping empty air.  _He must have woken up_ , I thought glumly, cursing my rotten luck.  I sat down in the field of flowers, hoping he would return.  I waited until the sun peeked into my room and roused me from the Fade.

Sighing, I rose and began to get ready for the day.  There was much to do before we left for the Exalted Plains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from BioWare


	31. On the Road Again

That morning, I passed by the rotunda to check on Solas on my way to breakfast. 

"Are you alright?  You left very abruptly," I asked, concerned.

"I am unharmed, save for some mild annoyance," he replied stiffly, his polite yet distant mask slipping into place once more.  "It seems that Sera was determined to empty the contents of a bucket on me one way or another.  This one happened to be filled with ice water."

I pinched the bridge of my nose.  "I'm sorry.  I'll talk to her about the pranks."  _And maybe strangle her for the worst timing ever_.

"Do not trouble yourself.  Nothing lost but some dignity and a moment of sleep.  A simple spell had me dry again, and I was able to complete my rest."

"You went back to sleep?" I asked, slightly wounded that he hadn't come to find me again in the Fade.

"Besides," he continued, ignoring my question and seemingly oblivious to my pain, "I think she does these things for attention.  I would rather not give her the satisfaction."

I raised my eyebrow.  "Alright then.  If that's what you want."  A long, awkward silence stretched between us.  Solas was staring determinedly at his research notes.

"Will that be all, Inquisitor?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.

I rolled my eyes.  I was getting a bit tired of his indecision.  _Don't rush, don't push,_ I silently repeated to myself.  "Actually, I was wondering when would be a good time for me to meet with you for magic lessons," I said out loud.

"Ah.  Perhaps we should begin tomorrow evening, when we are traveling and away from the prying eyes of Skyhold."

"I'll hold you to it," I said brusquely as I turned to leave. 

"I'm sorry," he blurted as I was halfway through the door.  "Things have always been...easier for me, in the Fade."

I nodded curtly at his words.  I didn't want to be so short with him, but my pride was wounded and my feelings were hurt.  I was tired of being the patient one while he dithered over our relationship, enticing and rejecting me with the same breath.  I shut the door behind me, perhaps a bit more harshly than necessary, then made my way to the tavern, grumbling to myself about brooding elves and their commitment issues.  When I entered the tavern, Krem caught my eye and waved me over to join the Chargers.  I cautiously made my way over, not quite sure what to expect.

Fortunately, Krem just wanted to slap me on the back and congratulate me on pulling one over on the Iron Bull.  Apparently, I had just missed Chancellor Roderick's attempt to defend my honor.  "He had the boss backed into a corner, poking his bony old finger in his chest, and..." Krem dissolved into laughter.

"Poor boss didn't know what to do!  He kept trying to leave, but he couldn't get past the old man!  Oh, the tongue lashing!" laughed Dalish.

"Skinner had to rescue him," added Rocky with a grin.

"Poor Bull," I chuckled as I imagined the humorous scene.  "But that seems like a bit of an over-reaction on Chancellor Roderick's part."

"The story keeps growing with each retelling," Krem explained, his tone turning more serious.  "The last I heard, the chief was tearing apart your room and tried to...force you when he was caught.  You barely escaped with your life."  He was still grinning, but it didn't quite reach his worry-lined eyes.

"That's not what happened at all," I groaned, massaging my temples.  It was too damn early for this sort of nonsense.  "I mean, yes, Bull was snooping around my room, and yes he tried to seduce me so I wouldn't notice, and yes I teased him a bit, but nothing happened except for a little awkward embarrassment!  I've got to go do some damage control...Where is Bull, anyway?" I asked, grabbing some rolls from the table and stuffing them in my pockets.

"He said something about helping Cullen train the soldiers," answered Krem.  "Couldn't get out of here fast enough."

I hurried to the training grounds, easily spotting Iron Bull from a distance.  He was sparring with two of Cullen's men, and barely breaking a sweat.  I leaned up against the wall, watching as I waited for him to finish.  He moved with surprising speed and agility for his size, and he quickly defeated his two opponents.  "May I have a moment?" I asked, allowing my voice to carry slightly.

Bull nodded warily.  "Of course, Inquisitor.  What can I do for you?"

"I need your advice on a few issues," I said as loudly as I dared.  I wanted my words to carry to as many witnesses as possible, but still sound natural enough to be believed.  "I was on my way to inspect the repairs being done to the battlements.  Would you accompany me?"

He relaxed slightly.  He still eyed me warily, but now his gaze was also curious and tinged with respect.  "Of course, boss."

I munched on my bread as we strolled side by side.  Nearly every eye was upon us; some of the servants were not even trying to hide their curious stares.  "Smile, Bull," I teased with a grin of my own.  "People might start to think there are troubles between us.  I heard you had words with Chancellor Roderick this morning."

He laughed.  "More like he had words with me.  I couldn't get a word in edgewise."  Bull kept his smile on his face, but his tone turned serious.  "You have a gift for inspiring loyalty.  From what I've heard, Chancellor Roderick was once one of your most vocal opponents.  Now he is leaping to your defense, going toe to toe with a Qunari.  And he's not alone.  I've never had so many soldiers volunteer to spar with me.  Usually they try to avoid it if they can, but it seems they all want the chance to 'defend your honor.'"

"Give it some time, and the whole thing will be nothing but a good joke.  At your expense, of course," I added with a grin.  "As soon as they see that I am not bearing a grudge, most of them will quickly forgive you.  The rumors should die down on their own."

"Thanks," he said as we climbed the steps to the battlements.  "You know, you really have a knack for this thing.  Manipulating public perception, showing different faces to different people, keeping secrets...you'd make a good Ben-Hassrath."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I grinned.  "Although I don't think I would do very well under the Qun.  I'm too headstrong and I chafe under authority.  Actually, I'm surprised you do so well.  From what I've heard, most Qunari don't have much of a sense of humor."

Bull roared with laughter at my observation.  "That's actually a common misconception.  Most southerners only ever see the soldiers, and it's true that they can be a bit stuffy.  But most Qunari are just normal people.  There are bakers, weavers, and blacksmiths, same as here.  The humor is different, certainly, but it does exist."

I peppered him with questions about the Qun; and he answered them as well as he was able.  I tried to refrain from overt criticism, but I wasn't very successful. 

"While there are many aspects of the Qun I admire, such as developing technology so as not to be so dependent on magic, there are just too many things I cannot condone.  Your treatment of mages, for one thing.  Being born a certain way, through no fault of your own, means your tongue is cut out, mouth sewn shut, blinders over your eyes, and being put on a leash for the rest of your life?  Even the Chantry is not so cruel.  Slaves in Tevinter have it better."

Bull shrugged awkwardly.  "Magic is just another weapon or tool, under the Qun."

I shook my head.  "I agree that magic is just another tool, but _mages_ , the people wielding the magic, should not be reduced to _things_.  And that's not the only problem I have with the Qun.  Children being assigned to roles they must fill for the rest of their lives, with no chance to try something else or change their mind.  Or people being hunted down and killed if they decide it's not for them and they want to leave.  Or the idea that with enough order, chaos can be eliminated.  That chaos _should_ be eliminated.  The world needs a little shaking up every now and then.  In fact, the Qunari could do with a good shake themselves."

Bull offered a few defenses, but ultimately politely agreed to disagree with me.  We made a show of inspecting the battlements, and I made sure to smile and laugh and clap him on the back a few times.  "Well, I think they got the message," I finally said.  "I think you shouldn't have too much trouble.  At least, about this."

"Hey, how did Solas take it when he heard?" Bull asked casually.  Too casually.

"He seemed pretty amused.  He was more concerned about the spying and warned me that having a Qunari spy walking around was dangerous.  Nothing I haven't heard before."

I bid Bull good-bye and made my way towards Vivienne's balcony.  She had promised to show me how to properly use a fan in various social situations today.  By the end of the morning, I knew how to turn down an unwanted suitor, insult a rival, laugh at a joke, and politely excuse myself from a conversation with just a flick of my wrist.

"Very good, darling.  At this rate, you could be ready to be presented to society by next season.  Mind your posture," she corrected, and I straightened up in my chair.

"Are you alright, Vivienne?  You seem a bit distracted this morning," I asked.

She airily waved her hand.  "It is nothing, my dear.  A personal matter of no consequence."

"Anything I can help with before we leave for the Exalted Plains tomorrow?"

She hesitated before replying, "It is a rather delicate situation.  There is an alchemical formula that I must complete, but I have been unable to obtain a critical ingredient: the heart of a snowy wyvern.  I had arranged to obtain one, but I have not heard from the chevaliers who are working with me.  I fear they might have been killed in the civil war, although I hope they were merely detained."

"Where might I find this wyvern?" I asked.

"One has been sighted in the northern area of the Exalted Plains.  I must warn you, snowy wyverns are quite rare and exceedingly dangerous.  Their venom is the most potent of any wyvern.  But I must have its heart, or the potion will not work."

"Vivienne, of course I will help you.  May I ask what this potion is, and who is it for?"

She hesitated again, carefully choosing her words.  "It is a remedy.  A desperately needed remedy."

"It's for your love, isn't it?  Duke Bastien?" I asked softly.

Her mouth tightened at the corners, and her eyes glistened, but otherwise she maintained her composure.  "Very astute, Inquisitor," she finally said in clipped tones.

"He is still in Val Royeaux, isn't he?" I asked.  "Perhaps you should wait for us there.  It will be closer to the Plains, and you can spend time with him while you wait."  I reached out to gently clasp one of her hands.  "Vivienne...if you need this potion as urgently as you claim, you should not waste a moment with your love."

She blinked rapidly, then brought her other hand up to pat my cheek.  "You are a treasure, my dear.  I will eagerly await your success at my estate."

I smiled and dipped into a curtsy, just like she had taught me, and took my leave.   I spent the rest of the day preparing for our departure.  At the War Table meeting, Leliana informed me that Clan Lavellan was being harassed by particularly well-trained, well-armed bandits.  She offered to send in some skirmishers to distract the bandits long enough for the clan to retreat.

"Sounds like a solid plan," I agreed.

"There is also the matter of the mounts you will be riding on your journey," interjected Josephine.  "A clan of Dalish has gifted us with a red hart.  Horsemaster Dennet has acquired a few more; we now have a small herd," she smiled.  "Since you will be journeying into areas of particular significance to the Dalish, it might be wise to show them how much you appreciate their gift."

I nodded.  "We'll take the harts, then.  It shouldn't be too much trouble."  I was a little disappointed to be leaving Basil behind, but I figured the poor horse needed a rest.  "Will that be all?"

After a few last minute pieces of strategic and diplomatic advice concerning the War of the Lions, the meeting was adjourned.  I spent the rest of the day wrapping up various odds and ends, packing supplies for the journey, and cheerfully enduring a farewell celebration in the tavern over dinner.  I excused myself as soon as I could without being rude, making my way to my room to indulge in one final warm bath before we left.  It  would probably be months before I got to bathe in warm water again.

That night, Solas entered my dreams as Mr. Wolf.  We fell back into the safe, familiar practice of lessons in elvhen language and history.  I threw myself into the lessons, completely avoiding any personal subjects or casual conversation.  If he noticed my avoidance, he said nothing, patiently correcting my pronunciation and spelling.  I finally relented just before dawn, turning to stroke his fur.  "Thank you, _falon_.  It always means so much to me to spend time with you."

He dipped his head.  "It was my pleasure, Amy, as always."

I continued to stroke his fur as I sat with him in silence.  By the time the rising sun pulled me from the Fade, I had forgiven him for his brooding elf ways.  I reluctantly left my comfy bed, knowing that the next time I slept it would be on the hard ground.  When I joined my companions in the stables, I found them in various states of apprehension and discomfort.

It turned out that the harts were slightly more temperamental than the horses.  Solas, of course, had mounted his with no difficulty whatsoever.  Cassandra had managed to mount hers, but she looked very nervous as her hart pawed at the ground and tossed its head.  Sera and Blackwall were circling round and round, shying away with each snort or stamping hoof.  Cole was talking to his hart, whispering in its ear with a smile.

As I watched, Cole's hart bowed its head and stood perfectly still while he moved to swing himself into the saddle.  "He knows we're friends," Cole explained with a grin.  "He's happy to let me ride him.  I can talk to yours, if you'd like," he said, turning with wide eyes to Sera and Blackwall.

"No way, creepy," huffed Sera as she made another failed approach.  "You stay far away, you hear?"

Blackwall said nothing, finally screwing up his courage enough to swing into the saddle.  His hart snorted and bucked lightly, but Blackwall managed to stay seated.  Sera muttered colorful curses under her breath as she finally crammed her foot in a stirrup and went to swing herself onto her mount.  The hart was slightly taller than the horses we had been riding, and Sera couldn't quite manage to get the necessary momentum, falling just short of the saddle with each attempt.  She gave up and tried to remove her foot from the stirrup, only to find it was stuck.

I moved to help her as she tugged frantically on her trapped foot.  Just as I reached out my hand to the stirrup, I felt the faintest brush of magic.  I would have thought I imagined it if Sera's foot hadn't suddenly slipped free, causing her to tumble forcefully backwards with an undignified squawk.  I spun around to find Solas sitting with a smug look on his face.  He quickly replaced it with a mask of indifference as he caught my narrowing eyes.

I helped Sera to her feet while the stable-hands scurried to bring us some stools.  Soon, we were all mounted and on our way.

After a few moments of riding in silence, Cole started to sing softly:

_On the road again  
Just can't wait to get on the road again_

I started in my saddle, shocked to hear out loud the song that had been looping through my head.  I quickly relaxed and joined in with a smile:  
  
_The life I love is making music with my friends  
And I can't wait to get on the road again_  
  
_On the road again_  
_Going places that I've never been_  
 _Seeing things that I may never see again_  
 _And I can't wait to get on the road again_

My companions began to relax in their saddles and smile amongst themselves as Cole and I continued to sing together.  
  
_On the road again_  
_Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway_  
 _We're the best of friends_  
 _Insisting that the world keep turning our way_

_And our way_  
_Is on the road again_  
 _Just can't wait to get on the road again_  
 _The life I love is making music with my friends_  
 _And I can't wait to get on the road again_

_On the road again_  
_Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway_  
 _We're the best of friends_  
 _Insisting that the world keep turning our way_  
 _And our way_  
 _Is on the road again_  
 _Just can't wait to get on the road again_  
 _The life I love is making music with my friends_

_And I can't wait to get on the road again  
And I can't wait to get on the road again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue by BioWare
> 
> "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson
> 
> I'm bumping up Vivienne's story a bit. That way, she can be brought into the loop sooner rather than later. :)


	32. No Day But Today

The journey to the Exalted Plains was not quite as comfortable as the journey to Val Royeaux had been.  We were no longer travelling on a main road dotted with villages and towns.  Every few days we would find ourselves near an inn, but the majority of our nights were spent outside camped by the roadside.

I was definitely taking advantage of Cole's ability to hear my thoughts and sing with me.  On the first day of our journey, I performed _The Phantom of the Opera_ for my companions as we rode.  Cole helped out whenever there was a duet, although there were still a few portions of the play where there were more than two parts being sung at a time.  The group seemed to enjoy the bittersweet tale of Christine, Erik, and Raoul.  I sang of angels of music, masquerades, prima donnas, and chandeliers.  Some of the notes were a bit out of my range, but my companions didn't seem to mind when I changed octaves here and there.

When I finished, Cole turned to me with a surprised look on his face.  "You don't like the ending!" he exclaimed with wide eyes.  "Why would you tell a story if you hate the ending?" he asked, innocently curious.

"The story is still beautiful, Cole, even if it makes me a bit sad.  I think Christine should have chosen the Phantom instead of Raoul, but I still like the story.  I like the characters, I like the songs, and I even like how sad it makes me.  It's...complicated," I finished lamely.

Blackwall snorted.  "Why would she have chosen the Phantom?  What could he have offered her?  A lifetime of darkness and shame?  No, she made the right choice.  The Phantom didn't deserve her."

"Erik was a genius," I retorted.  "He was an architect, a composer, an artist...Raoul only had money and a title and a pretty face.  He didn't even remember or recognize Christine until she was a star.  It's not the choice I would have made."

"But the Phantom was a murderer," protested Cassandra.  "And he was far too old for her."

"Everyone here is a murderer," I countered.  "Well, we've all killed people, at least.  Are you saying none of us deserve happiness?  And as long as both people are adults, age isn't anything but a number," I continued, deliberately avoided looking at Solas.  "The Phantom just wanted love and acceptance.  After a lifetime of abuse, rejection, and persecution, is it any wonder he snapped?"

Cassandra grumbled at my response, but Cole smiled dreamily.  "You give him a happier ending, in your mind.  Sometimes, Christine stays.  Sometimes, he finds someone else to love.  I like those endings better, too."

I returned his smile.  "Thank you for helping me tell the story, Cole.  You made it much easier."

Sera shuddered.  "I don't like it.  It's pulling the words from your mind.  Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not really," I shrugged.  "I like singing with Cole.  I can't exactly sing with myself, and it's not like anyone else knows the words.  The songs aren't really _private_ thoughts or anything I would mind sharing with the group.  But if it bothers you, we'll stop."

Cole pivoted in his saddle to stare at Sera.  "She tried.  The cookies were good until the hate made it bitter in your mouth."

Sera glared at him.  "Not there, creepy.  Go rooting in that part of me and I'll stripe you up, you hear?"

Cole blanched and looked away, shrinking back from the strength of her glare.  "Everyone heard.  You're scary in another place."

Sera turned to me.  "I've changed my mind.  Let it root around in your head for whatever songs it wants, just keep it out of _mine_."

"Perhaps it is time to stop for the night," Solas interjected smoothly, breaking his silent observation of our interactions.  Blackwall and Cassandra agreed, so we brought our mounts to a halt.  We would be sleeping three to a tent, with Solas, Blackwall, and Cole in one tent and Sera, Cassandra, and me in another.  In no time at all, we had a fire going and were sitting around happily munching on the food we had brought from Skyhold.

We divided up the watches, although Cole offered to keep watch for the entire night, as he didn't need to sleep.  Sera, Blackwall, and Cassandra were vehemently opposed to this proposal, clearly not trusting him.  As it was, Solas got the first watch of the night, while I got the second.

I stayed up with him during his watch, as I had many times before.  "So...how about that magic lesson?" I prodded.

Solas nodded and procured a candle from his pack.  He handed it to me, instructing me to concentrate on lighting the wick.  "Picture a single tongue of flame in your mind, and then focus as hard as you can on transferring that flame from your mind to the candle."

"That's it?  I don't need to say some words or wave my hands or have a staff?"

Solas quirked an eyebrow.  "Are you going to question every instruction I give you?  Focus on the flame."

Rolling my eyes, I did as he asked, focusing with all of my might.  I thought of nothing but the candle and the flame, staring until my eyes watered with the strain.  Nothing happened, and eventually, Solas told me to relax and take a break.

"This time," he instructed, "try sensing the Fade beyond the Veil.  Feel the energy there, and pull a thread of it towards you, guiding it towards the candle.  Remember to keep the image of the candle and flame in your mind."

"What does the Fade feel like?  Or the Veil, for that matter?" I asked, choosing to ignore the slight frown on his face.  "Should I try to open a rift or something?"

"No," he chuckled, in spite of himself.  "Just try to reach _beyond_ yourself, see if you can feel the available power."

I managed not to grumble out loud about his vague instructions as I attempted to follow them.  I tried and tried to no avail.  Solas remained patient and professional, though I was sure he was disappointed.  Eventually, his watch was over, and mine began.  Yawning and stretching, I stood to twist from side to side, releasing a chorus of crackles from my back.

"So...what's the verdict?" I asked, striving to sound nonchalant.  "Was this a waste of time?  Do I have potential?  Should I keep trying?

"I did not expect you to tap into your latent abilities after a single evening.  That would have been quite the feat," Solas replied smoothly.  "If you are willing, you can repeat the practice each evening for an hour or so.  Perhaps you will be successful by the time we reach the Plains, perhaps not."

"What, all by myself?  How will I know if I'm doing it correctly or not?" I asked.

He smirked.  "I imagine igniting the candle with your mind would be a sufficient answer to your question.  But I will be nearby to provide the necessary guidance should the need arise."

"I guess..." I replied dubiously.  "Are you _sure_ I'm not supposed to be using a staff?"

Solas pursed his lips in frustration.  "If all magic required a staff, don't you think the Chantry would simply have them all destroyed?  A staff can be used to focus magic, but it is not necessary.  If you are capable of magic, you will be able to light the candle with just the power of your will.  Just keep practicing."

With that, he abruptly left and made his way to his tent.  Sighing, I resigned myself to my watch.  I twirled the candle idly between my fingers as I stared into the campfire.

"You are hurt," Cole said, so close to my ear that I nearly jumped out of my skin.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he apologized as he sat near me.

"You are hurt," he repeated.  "He pulls away, rejecting, distancing.  You are trying to be patient, but it's hard."

"Yes," I answered.  "I know I shouldn't push him, but I can't help it.  And who knows what will happen..." I trailed off.  "Is everyone asleep?" I asked quietly.

Cole paused and tilted his head.  "Yes.  You don't have to worry about being overheard."

Sighing, I asked, "What happens if I manage to save Wisdom?  I might be changing too much.  In the game, that's the tipping point for the relationship.  That's when he allows himself to love me...her...whatever.  The point is, how I deal with Wisdom's death is what tips him over the edge.  If she lives, does that mean he never returns my love?"

"But he does love you, Amy," Cole said in surprise.  "And saving Wisdom will make him very happy."

"Do you know if we will be too late?" I asked.

"Wisdom has not been bound yet.  You are not too late.  Not yet," he replied.

I rubbed my hand over my eyes.  "Am I doing the right thing, Cole?  Am I screwing everything up?"

"No," Cole reassured me.  "You are helping them.  All of them.  Their pain is less sharp, their lives are brighter.  Especially Solas."

"What about you?" I asked, curious.  "Can you see what will happen to you?  In my head, I mean."

He cocked his head, considering my question.  "Yes...no.  Sort of.  I can't see everything you think.  Some of it is fuzzy, some of it is too bright.  Sometimes I see something, but I can't understand it.  I can see that I will have to make a big decision.  I don't know what it is, though.  Will you tell me?"

I smiled and shook my head.  "I don't think so.  You will recognize it when it comes, but the journey is as important as the destination in this case.  I don't want to alter your path too much."

"You are worried," he noted.  "You worry about the Iron Bull.  You worry about Vivienne.  You worry about me.  You worry about all of us."

"I care about all of you," I said.  "You are my friends, and I feel responsible for what happens to you."

Cole smiled at me.  "I am glad we are friends, Amy."

"Me, too," I replied.  We spent the rest of my watch staring into the fire in companionable silence.  When it was finally time for me to go and rouse Blackwall, I thanked Cole for keeping me company.  That night, as I fell asleep, I tried to focus on how it felt to slip into the Fade.  I tried to sense the Veil, but I couldn't feel anything.  I tried not to be too disappointed.

The next day, I decided to tell my friends the story of _Rent_.  Before I began, I tried to explain a few things to help them understand the story.  Heroin was a bit tricky to explain, as intravenous drugs were virtually unknown in Thedas, but my companions seemed to grasp the basic concept.  AIDS was a bit tougher to describe.  They understood a sexually transmitted disease easily enough, but immune systems, T-cells, and viruses were a bit beyond them.

Hoping they would be able to understand, I began to tell the story of Roger, Mark, Maureen, Joanne, Angel, Collins, Mimi, and Benny.

_525,600 minutes_   
_525,600 moments so dear_   
_525,600 minutes_   
_How do you measure, measure a year?_

_In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee?_  
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?  
_In 525,600 minutes?_   
_How do you measure a year in the life?_

My companions seemed fascinated by the bohemian lifestyles of the characters.  Sera particularly enjoyed the character of Mimi and her number _Out Tonight_.  Cole helped me out with the duets when necessary once more.  When I got to the part where Mimi's advances were being rejected by Roger, I sang,

_The heart may freeze, or it can burn,_  
_The pain will ease, if I can learn_  
 _There is no future, there is no past._  
 _I live this moment as my last._

_There's only us, there's only this._  
_Forget regret, or life is yours to miss._  
 _No other road, no other way,_  
 _No day but today._

Before I could switch back to Roger's part, Cole swiveled in his saddle and stared at Solas.  "That part was for you," he said simply.

I wasn't sure who blushed more, me or Solas.  "Cole, that was a private thought.  I wish you hadn't shared it," I chastised gently.

"But he was wondering!  He thought so, but wasn't sure..."Cole tried to explain.

"Cole!" said Solas sharply.  He was now definitely blushing more than I was.  Cassandra and Blackwall were grinning at the exchange, and Sera was outright laughing.

"Moving on," I said loudly, not caring to have the moment play out in front of an audience.  "Cole, I'm going to need your help soon."  I cleared my throat and continued to sing.  I told of couples coming together, parting, and reuniting once more.  I sang of love, loyalty, friendship, and death.  By the time I finished the musical, the embarrassing incident seemed to have been forgotten, although Solas was riding a little stiffly in his saddle. 

I turned my attention to the others.  Sera was teasing Blackwall.  "So, do all Gray Wardens have beards?"

"Just me," he replied, completely serious.  "I stole all the beards, and all the power stored within.  There can only be one."

Sera cackled in delight.  "I knew it!" she crowed.  Her teasing and bantering seemed to lighten the mood, and we all rode together in relaxed ease until it was time to stop for the evening.  That night, I did not have a watch, so after dinner I retired to my tent to practice with the candle while my companions slept.

I spent a futile, frustrating hour trying to light the damn thing with nothing to show for it.  I muttered some nasty things about vague, broody elves under my breath as I fell asleep that night.

Solas was waiting for me in the Fade as himself, to my pleasant surprise.  "You're back," I said, grinning from ear to ear.

He shifted nervously.  "I'm back," he replied cautiously.

"I want to show you something," I said, concentrating.  When the Fade stopped swirling around us, we were on top of the Eiffel Tower in the late afternoon light.

Solas looked around with great interest at the city spread out around us.  "This is Paris," I explained.  "I came here last summer.  I worked through college, saving up my money.  I was supposed to buy a nice, used car with that money, but at the last minute I changed my mind and bought a plane ticket instead.  I spent the summer backpacking through Europe until the money ran out.  This was one of the places I visited."

"It's beautiful," Solas observed.  "And you were very brave to travel by yourself."

I laughed.  "My parents were not too happy.  My mother was terrified for my safety, and my dad thought I should have been more practical with my money.  But I wanted to experience other cultures for myself instead of just studying them in books.  I was 21 and I had a passport, so there wasn't much they could do.  So I continued to make do with my bike when I came home, as I didn't have any money for a car.  In a way, this trip to Europe might be what caused me to end up in Thedas," I smiled.

Solas laughed with me.  "I suppose we should all be grateful for your wanderlust," he chuckled.  "Who knows what would have become of Thedas if you hadn't arrived?"

"I'm sure this world would have survived one way or another.  Someone would bear the Anchor.  Someone would be the Inquisitor.  There would be less stories, though," I smirked.

"I am certain no one would have performed as admirably as you," Solas said softly.  "How did your practice with the candle go?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Still no luck," I answered.  "I'll keep trying, though.  So...you like painting, right?  Want to see the Louvre?"

I spent the rest of the night dragging him through the expansive museum.  He was utterly fascinated, stopping frequently to marvel at the various works of art.  We spoke very little, and then only to comment on our surroundings.  Still, I was content to spend time with him; happy that he wasn't pulling away from me.  Morning came all too quickly, and soon it was time for both of us to wake up.

"Come back tomorrow night," I said, just before the light of dawn pulled me from the Fade.  "I have more to show you."

"As you wish," he answered with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue by BioWare
> 
> Phantom of the Opera - play by Andrew Lloyd Webber, book by Gaston Leroux
> 
> Rent lyrics - Jonathan Larson


	33. Clan of the Cave Bear

"I've got it!" I declared.  "Troubadour.  Your name will be Troubadour," I said, stroking the neck of my hart.

A collective groan rose from my companions.  I had been debating and rejecting names for the better part of the morning.  "No, wait, it makes sense!  Listen, he sings," I said, nudging him into a trot.  The newly-named Troubadour trumpeted loudly in demonstration.  "And the name is kind of fancy, but not _too_ fancy, it's perfect!"

"It's too long," argued Sera.

"He can be 'T' for short," I replied.

"At least it's better than 'Herald Junior,'" grumbled Cassandra.

"I still like 'Pointy' better," argued Sera.

"Name your own hart 'Pointy,'" I suggested.

"Why do you have to name every creature that makes its way to the stables?" asked Blackwall.  "They aren't exactly pets."

I ignored them.  "What do you say, boy?  Are you a Troubadour?"  He gave his head a proud toss and snorted.  "I do believe that's a yes!"

"He likes it," Cole smiled.

"Hah!  See?  I _told_ you!" I smirked triumphantly.

Sera rolled her eyes.  "Whatever," she said dismissively.  After a few moments of silence, she turned her attention to Cassandra.  "Hey, what was she like?  The Divine, I mean.  Was she as pretty as her plates?"

Cassandra furrowed her brow in confusion at the abrupt change in conversation.  "Pretty as her what?"

"Her plates with her portrait on them," clarified Sera.  "They sold them down the shops in Val Royeaux.  You'd see them on walls a lot.  Cost a bundle, and you couldn't even eat off them.  Well, part of them.  The yellowy-brown paint's poisonous.  Had to keep your mash off her eyes."

Cassandra was turning a peculiar shade of red.  "They put Most Holy's portrait on...plates?" she sputtered.  She began to shake her head and mutter to herself, cursing under her breath about Orlesians and their strange customs.

When she finally stopped muttering, Sera piped up again, "You good yet, Cassandra?  Can you tell me what she was like?"

"Who?" Cassandra asked, distracted.  "Oh, the Divine?  Yes, I'm sorry.  I'm not used to such...unorthodox displays of faith.  Most Holy was a visionary.  I served as her Right Hand, and would have done so as long as she needed me."

Sera's face fell in disappointment.  "But you didn't _know_ her," she concluded.

Cassandra furrowed her brow.  "I just said, I served as her Right Hand."

"Fine, whatever," Sera said dismissively, waving her hand.  "I'll ask Leliana.  You can tell there was something with _those_ two.  Family pain, there."

Cassandra opened her mouth to argue, but a strange, sad look came over her face and she seemed to think better of it.  After a moment of contemplation, she said, "I...You are right, Sera.  I did not know Justinia at all."

"Shame, right?  She was pretty," Sera cackled, seemingly oblivious to the gravity of the moment.

I cleared my throat.  "Well, now that Troubadour has a name, how about a story?" I said brightly, trying to alleviate Cassandra's discomfort.

After my companions readily agreed, I began, "This story is called _Clan of the Cave Bear,_ and it takes place almost thirty thousand years ago on my world.  Around that time, there were two main species of humans: the Neanderthals and the Cro-Magnons."  I launched into a brief explanation of evolutionary theory and a short description of the last Ice Age before I continued.

I told my companions the story of Ayla, the injured orphan Cro-Magnon girl who was taken in by the clan of Neanderthals.  I told them how she had been adopted by Iza, the medicine woman, and her brother Creb, the clan's shaman.  I described how she was trained as a medicine woman, how she was antagonized and abused by Broud, the son of the clan's leader.  I told of the birth of her son and how she was eventually cast out of the clan, leaving to seek out people like her and forced to leave her son behind.

Solas was fascinated by the idea of ancestral memories, while Cole was delighted by the idea of people being able to communicate with their hands by using sign language.  Cassandra liked the idea of matrilineal lines of descent, but she disapproved of the idea that the women of the clan were expected to submit for sex whenever any male told them to.

"And how dumb are they to not realize that sex is how women get knocked up?" Sera snorted.  "That totem shite...how stupid can you get?"

"Actually, it's pretty easy to miss the connection, since pregnancy doesn't occur every time.  Reproduction is a relatively complex process, and there are a lot of myths and old wives tales floating around.  Thedas isn't exactly a bastion of medical knowledge, you know," I said, cutting my eyes at her.

"Well...anyway...that one arsehole just says she's dead, and that's it?  The entire clan doesn't look at her or listen to her?  She just gives up and leaves?  She doesn't take her son?  That's rubbish," Sera declared.

I nodded.  "I never liked that part either.  But her journey is not over yet; that was just the plot of the first book, and there are five more to go."

Sera huffed, but seemed appeased for the moment.  Blackwall spoke up then, asking, "How old was Ayla, exactly?  You said only a few years had gone by, but she seemed...older."

"She was eleven when she had her son, and fourteen when she left the clan," I answered.  "I would imagine that childhoods were not very long back then, and people would mature very quickly.  That seems to be the way it goes when life is hard."

"Wait...are you saying people in your world actually believe this happened?" Cassandra asked incredulously.

"Not exactly," I replied.  "I mean, Ayla and her family almost certainly didn't exist.  But those two species of people existed, and their lives were probably spent as nomadic hunter-gatherers, and..."

"I mean," she interrupted, "do people really believe that people came from animals?  And that they came from creatures so small they cannot be seen?  Without any guidance from the Maker, or whatever you call him in your world?  The whole idea seems absurd."

"Well," I replied carefully, "as I have said, many people believe in different things.  I would say most people in my world believe in a single god, much like your Maker.  There are arguments as to how to worship that single god, but for the most part people agree that he is all-knowing, all-powerful, and eternal.  There are also many people who don't believe there ever was a god; that life and the universe are happy accidents that came to be through natural processes.  And then there are people like me, who don't know for sure one way or the other.

"But believing in a god doesn't mean that you can't believe in evolution.  Some people think they are mutually exclusive, but others believe that he guides the process, or at least got it started."

Cassandra shook her head.  "I cannot believe that everything is an accident.  That there is no purpose, that everything is just up to chance."

"And that's fine," I reassured her.  "I have just as much trouble with faith.  If I cannot see or observe something for myself, I have a hard time believing in it.  I can see fossils and cave paintings and artifacts; I've never seen a god."  _Well, any REAL god_ , I silently amended, glancing at Solas.  He was following the conversation with great interest.

"I believe that the Maker sent you," Cassandra said firmly, "even if you do not."

"Well, now would be a _great_ time for him to get off his butt and help us, if that's the case," I said drily, ignoring her grimace at my casual blasphemy.

"What happened to the Neanderthals?" Solas asked.

I smiled.  "Eventually, they died out and the Cro-Magnons developed into what we know as modern humans.  No one knows for sure why the Cro-Magnons survived and the Neanderthals didn't.  Was it disease?  Famine?  Interbreeding?  Good, old-fashioned competition for resources?  My favorite theory is that the Cro-Magnons were the only ones who were able to domesticate wolves, which gave them a huge advantage over the Neanderthals."

Solas cocked his head and the ghost of a smile briefly flickered over his face.  "Fascinating.  You know, wolves are loyal, intelligent creatures; unjustly maligned..."

"Yep," I smirked, interrupting him.  "The wolves were attracted to the trash that accumulated in the early Cro-Magnon settlements, as eating the garbage was easier than hunting.  A few generations later, and you have the earliest dogs, man's best friend."  Solas' smile turned to a scowl so quickly, I barely managed not to laugh. 

Soon it was time to make camp, and I volunteered for the first watch.  When my companions had gone to bed, I fetched the candle and tried to light it with my mind.  I still couldn't sense the Fade.  After another frustrating hour of absolutely no success, I glanced guiltily at the tent Solas was sharing with Cole and Blackwall.

Trying not to be overheard, I whispered, "Light!" and pointed at the candle.  Nothing.  "Let there be light!" I tried again.  " _Incendio_!  _Flickum bicum_!"  Still nothing.  " _Abracadabra!  Hocus Pocus!  Bibbidi bobbidi boo!"_   Even more nothing.  _Oh well, it was worth a try._

"I thought I was clear in my instructions," came a disapproving voice from over my shoulder.

"Eeeep!" I squawked as I fell over, flushing with embarrassment.  "You do that on purpose," I accused Solas as I stood, dusting myself off.

He quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing.  "What are you doing up?" I asked, curiously.  "You don't have a watch tonight."

Solas frowned.  "It appears that my sleeping roll has been dusted with powdered rashvine.  I found myself pulled from the Fade by a rather unpleasant tingling sensation.  Then I heard your...creative attempts to light the candle."

Sighing, I said, "I'm sorry.  I just thought I'd try something else.  I wasn't making any progress."

"What were those spells you were using?" he asked, curious.

"Oh, just some magic words from other stories.  I'm sure I'll get around to telling them someday.  I thought I'd see if they worked in Thedas."

Solas chuckled.  "That would have been fascinating, indeed.  Your curiosity is admirable, but I gave you those instructions for a reason," he chastised me gently.  "Your conscious connection to the Fade needs to be strengthened; the only way to do so is through focus and strong will.  I believe you are capable of honing your skills, but only if you listen to my instructions."

I sat back down near the fire and patted the spot next to me, smiling when he joined me.  "I'll have a word with Sera about the pranks," I said.

Solas shook his head.  "I would rather not give her the satisfaction.  As I said before, I believe she only does such things for attention."

I shrugged.  "It's up to you, then.  I won't step in unless it disrupts the group."  I picked absently at a stray thread on my tunic.  "Will you be visiting me tonight?" I asked, striving to keep my voice casual.

"If that is what you want," Solas replied, his voice equally casual.

"I do," I hurried to say.  "I do want it.  Very much."  _Awkward, much?_   "I was planning on showing you Rome, it's another city.  I think you'll like it, it's pretty old."

"I look forward to it," he smiled.

That night, I showed him the Colosseum, Trevi Fountian, some catacombs, and even took a brief detour into Vatican City to gaze at the _Pieta_ and Sistine Chapel ceiling.  As we strolled through, I gave a brief overview of the history of the city, the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, the various sackings and lootings, and the Renaissance.  I told him the legend of Romulus and Remus, which he seemed to enjoy, even though I informed him that it directly contradicted the archaeological evidence found beneath the city.  We walked and ate gelato, keeping the conversation to art, history, and legend. 

The next few days passed much the same.  I finished telling my companions the saga of Ayla, how she met her mate, Jondalar, and eventually had their daughter, Jonayla.  I told of the variety of people she met on her journey and the discoveries she made.  My companions were willing to suspend the disbelief that one woman would be the first to invent, accomplish, and discover so many things.  Each evening, I would spend time trying to light the candle before meeting Solas in the Fade. 

Perhaps I wasn't "playing fair," but I took him to as many romantic and beautiful places as I could.  I showed him beautiful works of art and breathtaking views; I took him to classical concerts and strolled through beautiful gardens.  He was always very careful to maintain some distance between us, avoiding almost all physical contact.  Our conversations never turned to our romantic feelings, staying on safe topics like culture, philosophy, and history.

Solas was particularly curious about evolutionary theory; gently prodding my thoughts on the matter.  I shared what bits I remembered from my biology classes, eventually growing bold enough to share my own personal theory about Thedas.

"I think," I began, "as long as this isn't just some dream I'm having while lying in a coma, that there are two main explanations for Thedas.  The first is that it sprang into being when someone on my world imagined it, because _magic_ , " I said, vaguely gesturing with my hands.  "The second possibility is that humans somehow wandered from my world to this one, or at least wandered from another world.  I mean, they only popped up around three thousand years ago, and no one seems to know exactly where they came from.  In every text I've come across, it seems like they weren't here, and then they suddenly were."

Solas nodded.  "That does seem to be the case, from what I have seen in the Fade."

"Right.  As far as I can tell, the elves were here first, then the dwarves, then humans, and finally, the Qunari.  I don't know anything about the elves or dwarves; maybe they were originally from another world too, maybe they are native species that evolved, or maybe they were created by some divine being.  But we do know that there is at least one connection between Thedas and my world, and I'm probably not the only one to ever cross it.  And it would explain why no one here has ever come across an 'almost human' fossil."

Solas smiled.  "A fascinating theory.  I wonder if we'll ever know."

"You know, there are stories in my world of people disappearing under mysterious circumstances, never to be seen or heard from again.  There are always logical reasons that could explain these disappearances, but I wonder if some of them might be because the people managed to wander into another world," I said excitedly.  "Like the lost colony of Roanoke.  Or any of the dozens of missing airplanes or ships.  Maybe places like Atlantis did exist!"

Solas indulgently listened to me chatter excitedly as I listed the various possibilities popping into my head.  His hands were clasped behind his back as we strolled through the Fade while mine were waving wildly as I punctuated each idea with a gesture.  Somehow, his placidity managed to balance and compliment my enthusiasm.  It was very pleasant to be by his side and converse with him, even if I wanted something _more_.  Our friendship was growing and deepening, even as love flickered beneath the surface.  I would have to be content with that for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue by BioWare
> 
> Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
> 
> Sorry for the delay, this week everything seemed to happen at once, so hobbies got pushed to the wayside.
> 
> I'm hoping this chapter doesn't come across too heavy-handed. I just think these subjects would be fascinating to Solas and he would want to know more about them. Also, the next chapter probably won't be up until after Easter. :(


	34. The Sandlot

"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!" I jeered as Sera wound up for another pitch.

Cassandra gritted her teeth and tightened her grip on the large branch that was serving as a bat.  Sera threw the vaguely round rock we were using as a ball.  Cassandra swung and missed by a foot.

"Strike one," called Solas from his position behind home plate.

Cassandra scowled.  "I know I missed," she said peevishly, squaring off for another attempt as Solas tossed the ball back to Sera.  "There is no need to rub it in."

"Oh really?" countered Blackwall from third base.  "Because I seem to remember a certain Seeker having a lot to say about Gray Wardens when it was my turn to bat.  You can dish it out, but you can't take it," he grinned.

"I can take it," growled Cassandra, the branch-bat _whiffing_ as she missed Sera's pitch.

"Strike two," said Solas calmly.

"Do you ever take off your armor and talk to it?" Cole asked suddenly from second base.

"No," Cassandra answered tersely, clenching her jaw as she prepared for the final pitch.

"It might say something nice," he continued dreamily.

 _Crack!_   The bat connected with the rock, sending it flying over Cole's head, well into where the outfield would be.  "Cole!  Get the ball!" I cried as Cassandra ran towards me.  He dashed off to get it, but not soon enough.  She had already rounded first base and was quickly approaching second.

"Throw it to Blackwall!" yelled Sera.  Cole complied, but the throw fell a bit short, giving Cassandra enough time to round third base.  Blackwall had scooped up the ball and was throwing it to Solas.  Cassandra gave a primal yell as she dove for the home plate.  Solas had managed to catch the ball, somehow looking as elegant and composed as ever.  He saw Cassandra skidding towards him, and deftly stepped out of her path.  She barreled into the plate with a smug grin.

"Solas!  Are you freaking kidding me?  You had her!" I shouted, with Sera and Blackwall yelling similar, more colorful sentiments.

"I do not believe it is prudent to risk a serious injury over a game," he replied stiffly.

"Ha!  I have a run!" laughed Cassandra as she rose to her feet, dusting herself off.  "That means I am tied with Blackwall and beating Solas and Cole.  One more turn, and I will be tied with you and Sera."

"Actually," I said reluctantly, "everyone's had three turns at bat now.  It's as good a place to stop as any.  We need to get started on dinner."

My companions agreed.  I had spent the day telling them about _The Sandlot_ , and they had enjoyed the light-hearted story about Scotty Smalls and his friends getting into mischief and growing up.  I had explained the rules of baseball to their great interest, and one thing had lead to another, and before I knew it, I was in the middle of an impromptu baseball game in Thedas.

I told my friends how my brothers had played in Little League for a couple of years when they were younger.  "Justin went through a bit of a baseball phase," I explained.  "He was certain that he was going to grow up and be a professional ball player for a while there.  _The Sandlot_ was one of his favorite movies.  He must have made us watch it a hundred times."

"Feeling closer and further away all at once.  The game was a little sliver of home, but so much was missing.  The smells, the sounds, the taste of food so bad it's good.  One more thing to miss," Cole murmured. 

"Thank you, Cole," I smiled grasping his hand.  "But I would rather not dwell on sadness tonight.  How about helping me lighten the mood a bit?"

He nodded, and soon we were performing Abbot and Costello's "Who's on First?"  We quickly had the group rolling with laughter.  When we finished, Cole said, "I don't understand...why was there so much confusion?  Couldn't they have made a list and figured it out?"

"Oh, Cole," I laughed.  "That's not the point.  The confusion makes it funny.  It's supposed to make people laugh."

"So they were confused on purpose, but it was to make other people happy?  I...I think I understand," he said dubiously.

"Varric will be able to explain humor to you when we return to Skyhold.  Well," I said with a stretch and a yawn, "I think I'll turn in for the night.  Wake me when it's time for my watch."  With that, I made my way to the tent.  After some failed attempts to light the candle, I joined Solas in the Fade. 

That night, I took him to the Trinity College Library in Dublin.  "This is the largest library I've ever been in," I explained.  "There are bigger ones in my world, but I've never seen them."

Just as we were admiring the Book of Kells together, a piercing scream shattered the illusion.

" _Help!  Solas, help me!  They're taking me!  Solas, help!_ " cried a woman in elvhen.

I glimpsed the look of panic on his face as he whirled and disappeared from my dream.  I sat in stunned silence for a moment as the Fade dissolved into wisps of gray mist.  That had to be Wisdom.  I could only hope that we weren't too late and that we would get to her in time.  Shaking my head, I pulled myself from the Fade and quickly stepped out of my tent.

Solas was emerging from his own tent, his face lined with worry.  "Are you alright?" I asked quietly.  Cassandra was keeping watch, and had risen to her feet at our sudden appearance.

Solas shook his head.  "That was one of my oldest friends; captured by mages, forced into slavery."

"Can we help rescue her?" I asked.

Cassandra had made her way towards us at this point.  "What's this?  A woman has been captured?"

Solas grimaced.  "My friend is a spirit of wisdom.  It was likely trapped within a summoning circle.  Unlike the spirits clamoring to enter our world through the rifts, it was dwelling quite happily in the Fade.  It was summoned against its will, and wants my help to gain its freedom and return to the Fade."

Cassandra's face had darkened as Solas explained the situation.  "I'm not sure this is wise," she said.  "How can we know if this spirit can be trusted?  It could be summoning you now that it has crossed over in order to possess your body.  We must be cautious."

Solas' eyes flashed with anger as he curtly replied, "My friend is an explorer, seeking lost wisdom and reflecting it.  It has no desire to cross into our world.  It would happily discuss philosophy with you, but it had no wish to come here physically."

Cassandra glared back at him.  "Alright.  Suppose this spirit really just wants to return to the Fade.  That still leaves the matter of who summoned it and why.   That sounds like Tevinter magic.  Are we about to run into a group of Venatori?  Why would someone summon a spirit of wisdom?  Are they seeking knowledge of some forbidden arcane magic?  I would advise caution," she reiterated.

Solas frowned in consideration.  "I do not know why my friend has been summoned.  It knows a great deal of lore and history, but a mage could learn that simply by speaking to it in the Fade.  It is possible that they seek information it does not wish to give and intend to torture it."

"Of course we will help rescue your friend," I broke in, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder.  "Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"It," corrected Solas.  "Spirits tend not to have genders."

I frowned.  "Is your friend a person or not?  I'm not sure I'm comfortable calling a person 'it.'  Besides, the voice I heard in the Fade sounded pretty female to me.  But anyway," I said, as he opened his mouth to debate with me, "do you know where your friend is or not?"

He nodded.  "I got a general idea.  It is three days ride from here, two if we push our mounts to their limit."

"Perhaps we'd better start packing up camp then," suggested Blackwall as he emerged from his tent.  "I only caught the last half of the conversation, but it seems to me that we have no time to lose."

"I don't need to sleep," Cole piped up helpfully, startling the rest of us.  I didn't know how long he had been silently listening.  "I can ride ahead."

"Thank you, Cole, but I think it will be best if we stick together," I replied.

"Are we really going to bust our arses to save a demon?" demanded Sera as she popped out of our tent where she had clearly been eavesdropping.  "Isn't one creepy thing enough?"

"Yes," I replied evenly.  "Because a friend of one of us is a friend of all of us.  We have each other's backs.  That's how this works.  Now, Blackwall's right.  We should pack up and go as far as we can.  The sun will be up soon, we should be on the road by first light."

We rode quickly in grim silence, for the most part.  Sera groused and complained occasionally, but otherwise complied.  When we finally made camp late in the evening, I volunteered to take the first watch.  I was too tired and worried to practice with the candle; all of my energy was spent just staying awake.  Despite my efforts, I must have nodded off, as I soon found myself in the Fade.

It took me a few moments, but I managed to rouse myself and drag myself back to the waking world.  Groggily, I noticed I was leaning against someone's shoulder.  "Shh, it's alright.  I will keep watch while you rest," murmured Cole.

"No, I have to...it's my job," I sleepily protested.

"You are tired.  Everyone is tired.  Let me help," he said simply.

He was right.  I _was_ tired.  "We can't let the others know," I said, leaning back down on his shoulder.  "They wouldn't like it."

"I will wake you when your watch is over," he said, softly stroking my hair as my eyelids drooped closed once more.

"You're a lifesaver," I managed to mumble before I slipped back into the Fade.

This time, I decided to seek out Solas.  It was slightly different from drawing him into my dream.  I just tried to focus on him as I strode through the Fade.  Soon, I found myself in the middle of an ancient grove.  I could see him pacing back and forth frantically, Wisdom's cries for help echoing all around us.

"Solas?" I said gently as I approached.

The screams died away and he paused in his pacing.  "Are you letting me sleep through my watch?" he frowned.

"No.  I'm sleeping through mine.  Cole is watching over us," I answered.

"Ah," he said with a small smile, though his forehead remained lined with worry.  "I am sorry.  This is where my friend and I would meet.  I am trying to see if I can find any clue..."  He trailed off, his voice thick with unshed tears.

Impulsively, I crossed over to him and gathered him into a hug.  "It will be alright," I promised as he stiffened in my arms.  "We will save her."

Hesitantly, he began to relax and return my embrace.  " _Ma serannas_ ," he whispered.  "Thank you for understanding.  Most people...Not many would risk their lives to help a spirit."

"I'm not most people," I replied, reluctant to break the hug.

He chuckled.  "No.  You most certainly are not," he said fervently as he continued to cling to me.  We stood there together for a few moments before he gently pulled away.  "Thank you," he said again, lightly cupping my cheek for a brief moment.

"I'm happy to help," I answered.  "Besides, I'm sure you would do the same for me if the roles were reversed."

"I certainly like to think so," he answered softly.  Clearing his throat, he said, "I'm impressed that you were able to find me.  Your manipulation of the Fade is astounding, especially considering the fact that you are not a mage.  Do you think the Anchor is allowing you to do so?" he asked hesitantly.

I stared down at my left palm.  In the Fade, it was smooth and clear and free of the Anchor.  "I don't know," I answered.  "My world doesn't have a Fade, so there's really no point of comparison."  _It makes sense though.  Solas is a Fade expert, and it is his magic._

"Tell me about Wisdom," I said, changing the subject.  "What would the two of you talk about?"

We sat down in the grove together while he told me about his friend.  After a brief interruption when Cole shook me awake at the end of my watch, I quickly rejoined Solas once I made my way to my bedroll.  Time passed all too quickly, and before I knew it Sera was gently shaking me awake as the sun peeked over the horizon once more.

By mid-afternoon, we had made it to the edge of the Exalted Plains.  Scout Harding quickly filled us in on the fighting and the lay of the land.  She warned us about the Freemen of the Dales and the undead and told us to keep an eye out for the Dalish clan that was in the area.  I thanked her for her efforts and commended her for a job well done before swinging right back up into the saddle.  We rode until it was too dark to continue.

That night, I had the last watch.  I poked the fire while gazing at the slowly lightening sky.  I prayed we wouldn't be too late.  _Maybe if Wisdom lives, Solas won't think this world is quite so terrible_ , I mused.

My thoughts were interrupted as Cole suddenly cried out in the night.  "Wisdom is hurting!  More than before, quickly, before we're too late!"

I jumped up, cursing softly.  Solas was already stumbling into the camp.  "Cole, stay with the others.  Solas and I will go ahead.  Catch up with us once you've packed up," I instructed as I swung onto Troubadour's back.  He huffed in annoyance at the sudden departure.

Solas and I rode in swift silence, neither of us daring to speak.  By mid-morning, we had nearly made it to the place Solas claimed his friend had been taken.  I could hear a woman's voice screaming in elvhen beyond the next hill.

" _Stop!  Please!  Don't make me do this!  I'm begging you, please let me go!_ " cried the voice as we approached, slowing our mounts.

Solas' eyes flashed with anger as he swung down to the ground, striding forward.  I hurried to follow him.

" _Ahhhh!  Don't hurt me!  I don't want to hurt anyone!  Please, please, stop!  Let me go!_ "

As we crested the hill, an unsettling scene came into view.  A ghostly looking woman with green light emanating from her eyes was kneeling in the middle of the summoning circle, arms stretched out by her sides, clearly struggling against her magical bindings.  A group of nervous mages huddled around the outside of the circle.  "Are you sure it's a demon?" I heard one ask.

"Of course it is," replied their leader gruffly.  "Don't let its tricks fool you.  It might look like a woman, but it will reveal its true form soon enough."  _He really does have a punchable face_ , I thought, hurrying to keep up with Solas.

The group of mages noticed our approach.  "Demon!  Defend us!" cried the leader, forcing the spirit to her feet.

"Woah!  We're not here to hurt you!" I puffed as I grabbed Solas' arm and yanked him to a stop.

He turned to glare at me.  " _I entirely intend to hurt them,_ " he harshly replied in elvhen.

I tightened my grip on his arm.  " _Pull yourself together.  Do NOT lose your head.  Her well-being depends on it_ ," I whispered quickly.  Clearing my throat, I turned to the mages.  "We are not bandits.  We are with the Inquisition.  I am the Inquisitor.  What is going on here?"

Solas jerked his arm from my grasp, but remained by my side.  "Clearly, they have pulled a peaceful, gentle spirit from the Fade and attempted to force it to act against its nature.  If they go on for much longer, the spirit will be corrupted."

"I...I...I understand how it might be confusing to someone who has not studied demons, but I would be happy to explain..."

"Word of advice?" I interrupted as Solas swelled with rage.  "I'd hold off on explaining how demons work to my friend here.  He's forgotten more about them than you'll ever know."

The mage balked at my words.  "Listen to me!  I was one of the foremost experts in the Kirkwall Circle..."

"Shut up," clipped Solas.  "You summoned the spirit to protect you from the bandits.  You bound it to obedience and commanded it to _kill_.  Killing goes against its nature.  You are about to turn it into a very powerful pride demon.  Once that happens, I doubt your summoning circle will be enough to hold it."

"I suggest turning the spirit over to us," I said.

"What?  Keeping the demon bound is the only thing keeping it from killing us!" protested the mage leader.  "How will we defend ourselves against the bandits?"

I pasted my most winning smile on my face.  "Please trust us.  We know what we are doing," I said as I began to move calmly and slowly towards the kneeling spirit.  The rest of the mages made no moves to stop me.

As I came nearer, I could see dark black clouds swirling within her.  We really had made it just in time.  Kneeling next to her, I quietly said, " _I am going to release your bindings.  I'm a friend of Solas._ "

She nodded.  Solas had already moved to the first pillar, obliterating it with a burst of magic.  Wisdom hissed.  " _Please hurry,_ " she whispered.

I could see the rest of our companions cresting over the top of the hill.  "Break the bindings!" I called out to them, and they moved to help Solas.

We made short work of the rest of the pillars, and Wisdom collapsed to the ground.  Solas rushed over to make sure she was alright.  When he was satisfied, he whirled towards the mages.  They had huddled together to watch as we destroyed their summoning circle, and now they cowered as he stalked towards them.

"You kidnapped and tortured my friend," Solas declared coldly.  I could feel the magic crackling in the air around him.

"We didn't know it was just a spirit!  The book said it could help us!" sputtered the mage leader.

"Solas!" I called sharply.  I didn't know if he would be angry enough to kill them, but I didn't want to risk it.  He glared at my interruption.  " _Vengeance is not yours to take,_ " I said gently in elvhen, inclining my head towards Wisdom.  He at least had the grace to look abashed at my words.

I moved to her side.  " _You are the one they hurt.  What would you have done to them?_ ” I asked quietly.

Wisdom peered up at me.  I was pretty sure she was "reading" me like Cole did.  My suspicions were confirmed when she echoed my thoughts back to me.  " _'An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind_.'  _I like that_ ," she replied.

" _They are not my words, but I like them too_ ," I smiled.

Wisdom nodded.  " _Please show the mages mercy.  They acted out of ignorance and fear, not malice.  Enough blood has been shed here,"_ she said, turning her gaze to Solas.

He nodded, relaxing ever so slightly.  " _Ma nuvenin_ ," he said.  He turned back to the mages.  "My friend has asked that you be shown mercy.  Consider yourselves fortunate."

"There is a camp of Inquisition scouts here," I said, quickly sketching a map in the dirt.  "They will be able to guide you to a safer location.  I suggest you start traveling there _immediately_."  The mages nodded and scurried over the hill as fast as their legs could carry them.

"So...what happens now?" asked Blackwall.  "Will the spirit be joining us?"

"Well, that's just what we need.  Another creepy thing," groaned Sera.

I turned to Wisdom.  "Is that what you want?"

"My friend should return to the Fade," interrupted Solas.  "Lingering in the waking world increases the risk of corruption."

"I will stay," Wisdom declared in Common.  I had wondered if she was able to speak the language.  "I cannot return to the Fade yet," she said, waving her hand to dismiss Solas' protests.  "I am far too weak.  I will remain with you until I gather my strength.  Besides," she said, turning to stare at me appraisingly, "I am curious about the company you keep these days, my friend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue by BioWare
> 
> So Wisdom is here! I'm really looking forward to playing around with this character. We get such a brief glimpse of her in the game, and I wish we could have seen more of her relationship with Solas.


	35. Speaking with Wisdom

We quickly set up a camp in the area.  I had decided that we all needed a break after the ordeal of rescuing Wisdom and informed my companions that we would be taking the rest of the afternoon off.  They wouldn't admit it, but they were relieved and grateful for the respite.

I declared that I would be taking a much-needed bath... _alone_.  Cassandra protested, but I reminded her that I would be right next to the camp and that Cole would be able to hear if I needed help.  She wasn't happy, but she agreed.

I gathered up the necessary supplies and made my way down to the nearby river.  There was a conveniently located large rock to hide behind, and I hastily peeled off my leather armor and linen undergarments.  I grimaced as I pulled my hair from its stiff braid.  It had been several days since I had had time to wash myself, and I was starting to smell a little ripe.

I shivered as I sank into the cool water.  Even though it was a bit cold for my tastes, it definitely beat the damp washcloth routine I had been using for the last couple of weeks.  I grabbed the hunk of soap I had brought with me and scrubbed, rinsed, and scrubbed again until I felt the grime and the dust of the journey wash away.  I turned my attention to my dirty clothes, scrubbing them as best I could before wringing them out to dry.

Finally, I climbed out of the river and slipped into a clean tunic and pair of pants.  I climbed up on the rock, spreading out my damp clothes to dry in the afternoon sun.  I began to work my comb through my wet hair, lazily picking out the knots and tangles.  As I combed, I idly turned my gaze back to camp.

Cassandra and Blackwall were busy cleaning their armor and weapons, while Sera busied herself making arrows.  The three of them were chatting as they worked, smiling and laughing together.  Solas was a short distance away, gathering some plants.  Wisdom and Cole were huddled together.  They weren't saying a word, but I was certain they were having a conversation in their thoughts.  Everyone seemed to be happy and relaxed.  I smiled and stretched out on my sun-warmed rock, spreading my hair out to dry.

The rustling of the wind and the faint chirping of birds quickly lulled me into a light, dreamless sleep.  It was a rare moment of peace.  When I finally woke, the sun was much lower in the sky, and Solas was sitting quietly by my side.

He smiled when he noticed my eyes open.  "Thank you for saving my friend," he said.  "I shudder to think what would have happened if we hadn't arrived when we did."

I smiled sleepily.  "But we did get here in time.  Don't dwell on the 'what ifs.'  She is safe."

Solas nodded.  "Safe for now.  But my friend must return to the Fade as soon as possible.  It is not like Cole, coming to this world willingly and fashioning a body for itself.  My friend is vulnerable to corruption, and our companions are uncomfortable to say the least."

I sat up and glanced over at the spirit in question.  She and Cole were still huddled together, watching me and Solas with rapt attention.  "She may stay for as long as she likes; she will always be welcome.  And she may leave when she likes; the choice is hers," I answered lightly.

Solas frowned and huffed lightly, but he didn't argue with me.  I moved over a few inches until I could lean my head on his shoulder.  To my great relief, he didn't stiffen or try to put any distance between us.  His arm snaked around my waist, anchoring me to his side.  I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes.  "We did it," I murmured.  "We saved a life.  I'm going to count today as a win."

He chuckled at my words.  "I believe you are more than entitled to do so."

"So what's next?" I mused, half to myself.  "I'm pretty sure we're near where Scout Harding said the Dalish clan was.  We should go see them tomorrow."

Solas frowned.  "Is that truly necessary?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and tilted my head to stare at him.  "We aren't going to ignore them just because they annoy you," I said with a touch of amusement.

"I know," he grumbled.  "My experiences with the Dalish have been...less than pleasant.  They are woefully, stubbornly ignorant.  They remember fragments of fragments...but that is more than most, I suppose."

"Well, ignorant or not, we're going to see if they might support us or need any assistance."  I nuzzled my head back onto his shoulder.  "Just try not to be too...antagonistic."

"'Antagonistic?'" he repeated, echoing my earlier amusement.

"You know...don't go in there telling them how they are wrong about everything or you think halla are stupid or something.  And _definitely_ don't tell them they aren't 'real' elves.  I'm going to have my hands full with Sera as it is."

His arm tightened around me.  "I will do my best not to cause you any additional problems," he promised.

"Is it just me, or are the days getting shorter?" I asked, changing the subject.

Solas began to trace small circles on my hip.  "You are correct.  Summer is ending, autumn is almost here."

I frowned.  "Do I need to worry about stocking Skyhold for winter?  Will we have enough to eat?  How bad does the weather get in Thedas?"

"Don't worry," he soothed.  "I'm sure Josephine has it well in hand.  She would have mentioned something if there was a problem.  But more importantly," he continued, "you should rest for one afternoon.  You cannot continue on like this.  You will exhaust yourself."

"I am resting," I countered.  "I took a nap and everything."

He shook his head, pulling back slightly to stare sternly into my eyes.  "That is not what I meant, and you know it," he reprimanded gently.

"Alright, you win," I grinned.  "No more Inquisitor stuff for today.  What do you propose we talk about?"

He brushed a stray strand of hair away from my cheek, his hand lingering a little longer than necessary.  "Amy...I was..."  He hesitated, clearly trying to choose his words carefully.

"Amy, might I have a word?"

I jumped slightly as Wisdom suddenly appeared behind us.  "What the...a little warning next time would be nice!" I groused.

Wisdom blinked.  "My apologies.  I will try to make more noise the next time I approach.  Are you willing to speak with me?"

"Yes, yes," I agreed, patting the ground next to me.  "Please join us."

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with you _alone_ ," she said, giving Solas a significant look.

"Ah...of course," Solas said, gracefully rising to his feet.

As he made his way back to camp, Wisdom remarked, "He is worried.  'What could I possibly have to say that he cannot be present for?' he wonders."

"I'll admit that I am curious," I said cautiously.

Her probing gaze seemed to pierce my very soul.  "It is an interesting group you surround yourself with," she said.  "Outlaws, murderers, liars, and zealots."

"That's only part of who they are," I retorted, feeling very defensive of my friends suddenly.  "There is goodness and loyalty in them too.  Far more light than darkness.  Humans are not as...pure as spirits, certainly.  I would argue that it is a strength, not a weakness.  Learning and changing from your mistakes and all that."

Wisdom smiled.  "I agree," she said simply.  I suddenly got the impression that I had passed some sort of test.  "I am more interested in what sort of person _you_ are," she continued.  "I have seen flashes of your intent, and Cole has informed me of the situation, but I want to speak with you myself."

"Well...what would you like to know?"

"Why are you lying to most of your companions?  Specifically, why are you lying to Solas?" she asked, her voice as hard as steel.

"It's for the best," I protested.  "If they knew that I know...well, let's just say that it probably wouldn't go very well.   They would blame me for everyone I failed to save, or maybe ask me to change too much.  And Solas...well..." I squirmed uncomfortably under her penetrating gaze.

"The changes you have made have succeeded so far," she countered.  "You managed to save Haven.  You managed to save me.  I would have been corrupted into a pride demon and died if you hadn't interfered.  I, for one, am very grateful for your knowledge and interference.  Perhaps your friends would be as well.  But more importantly, Cole tells me that you are in love with Solas, and he is in love with you.  My own observations confirm this.  I ask you again, why are you lying to _him_?"

I flushed.  "Well...he's technically lying to me too.  I mean, do you know what he plans to do?"

Wisdom nodded.  "I have advised him against it.  I do not wish to see what will become of my friend if he continues on this path.  He will truly become the monster he already believes himself to be.  Now, I do not claim to know much about love; it seldom has anything to do with wisdom.  But I do know this: lying to the one you love rarely ends well."

"I'm trying to save him," I protested.  "Him and everyone else.  He told me himself, in the alternate timeline, if he knew that I knew...he would leave, or even try to kill me."

Wisdom shook her head.  "I have known Solas for a long time, longer than you can possibly comprehend.  I can tell you that he will not harm the one he loves."

I blushed and grinned at her words.  "A long time, huh?  How long have you known him, exactly?  What was he like when he was younger?" I asked, eagerly curious.

Wisdom frowned slightly at my obvious changing of the subject, but she indulged my question.  "I have known him since we were both very young.  I was still a juvenile spirit of Pride," she said with a smile.  "He was cocky and brash, as most young people are.  He was drawn to spirits of Pride, Desire, Glory, and Fortune.   He spent a great deal of time in our company.  In those days, the Elvhen chose their own names when they came of age.  He named himself 'Pride,' which was incredibly arrogant of him.  He was of relatively low birth, and his choice painted a bit of a target on his back.  But he was skilled enough to earn the respect and interest of some very powerful people."

Her smile grew wistful.  "In time, I matured into a spirit of Wisdom, and for a while we drifted apart.  I tried to encourage him to grow and mature with me, but he was not ready.  He rejected my advice and began to avoid my company.  Many centuries passed before he would return to me."

"I think I would have liked to have met him when he was young," I said with a grin.  "Did he have hair?"

Wisdom shook her head.  "He had long auburn hair that he liked to style in dreadlocks, but I don't think you would have liked him then.  He could be quite unbearably arrogant and pompous.  In his youth, Solas only cared about his own selfish desires.  He wanted to make a name for himself, and he was always spoiling for a fight or planning how to humiliate his rivals.  It took him a long time to grow up," she smiled.

 "But one day, my old friend sought me out once more.  He was older, sadder, more sensible.  It pained me to see him like this.  I had been asked to join the court of Dirthamen, who was surrounding himself with spirits of Knowledge, Cunning, and Wisdom.  Solas came to beg me to reject Dirthamen's offer, and I agreed.  He had suddenly noticed the suffering and injustice that surrounded the Evanuris, and he wanted to do something."

"The Veil," I whispered.

Wisdom shook her head.  "That would not come for some time.  Solas tried many times to stop the Evanuris and help the slaves.  Each attempt ended in failure, and with each failure, more people were hurt and killed.  Creating the Veil was a final, desperate solution.  He knew it would have drastic effects, but he didn't know how much would change.  He came to see me when he first woke a year ago..."  Wisdom trailed off, lost in her own thoughts.

She shook her head.  "I warned him not to give his orb to Corypheus.  I advised him to be patient, to find another way to regain his power.  He did not listen.  It reminded me of his younger years, his hot-blooded impatience.  He was...devastated.  Certain that he had sacrificed his home and his people for nothing, for worse than nothing.  For a sad perversion of what had once been.  As soon as I felt the Breach rip through the Fade, I knew what he had done."

Her gaze fell on my left hand.  I smiled wryly.  "This was an accident," I said, holding it up.  "He didn't mean for the Anchor to come to me."

She smiled.  "An accident or fate?"

I groaned.  "Not you too."

Wisdom chuckled.  "How it happened does not matter.  What matters is that you are using the power to help others."

I nodded.  "Something good has to come from this shitstorm.  Did you know it is slowly killing me?" I asked lightly.

Her expression was inscrutable.  "I did," she replied evenly.  "Cole informed me.  He said that in this...game from your world, the situation is resolved by removing your hand."

I grimaced.  "I'm not exactly looking forward to that, for some reason."

Wisdom continued to stare at me.  "Are you going to tell Solas the truth?"

I shook my head.  "No.  At least, not yet.  I need to save him, and this is the only way I can think of.  Maybe someday, if I succeed, I will tell him and hope he can understand.  Are...are you going to tell him?  That I know who he is and what he plans to do?"

Wisdom sighed and shook her head.  "I will not.  I owe you my life, and you have a good heart.  I think that you should tell him the truth, sooner rather than later, but I will leave it up to you."  She paused, weighing her next words carefully. 

"Please do not break his heart," she finally said, a note of pleading in her voice.  "For all his mistakes, Solas is one of my oldest and dearest friends.  I would save him what pain I could.  It would be kinder," she added, "to avoid starting a relationship at all.  With all these lies, one or both of you is bound to be hurt."

I nodded.  "I know.  I know it in my head, your words make sense, but...I love him," I said simply.  "I have to try."

Wisdom shoulders stooped in resignation.  "I supposed as much.  As I said, affairs of the heart seldom have much to do with wisdom."  She rose to her feet.  "Come, we should rejoin the others," she said.  "The meal is ready and they are waiting for you before they begin.  And poor Solas is quite worried about whether or not I have revealed anything to you."  She shook her head again.  "Too many lies," she said.  I gathered up my nearly-dry clothes and followed her back to the others.

That night, as we ate dinner, I told tales of wisdom from my world.  I spoke of King Solomon, Socrates, Athena, and Odin sacrificing his eye.  When the evening came to an end, I volunteered to take the first watch.  I was not surprised when Solas joined me.

"What did you and my friend speak about?" he asked, far too casually.

"Many things," I replied with a grin.  "Mostly about you.  I learned you used to have long auburn hair, for one thing.  And you were a bit vain about it, from what I heard.  And you do not take Wisdom's advice as much as you should."

He laughed.  "Ah, I see.  And were there any other...revelations I should know about?"

I shrugged.  "She was interested in the Anchor and what I plan to do with the power.  I kind of felt like she was testing me.  I hope I passed," I joked.

Solas smiled.  "I am sure you did.  My friend seemed to enjoy your company."  He searched my face for a long moment, trying to figure out how much I knew. 

Smiling, I reached over to clasp his hand.  "And I enjoyed hers.  She cares about you very much.  I think she wants to make sure you are happy.  We have that in common, at least."

Satisfied that his secret was still safe, Solas squeezed my hand in return.  "I am very fortunate indeed to have such friends," he replied.  "I do not know why, for I do not deserve them."

I shook my head.  "Nope.  Not doing that mopey, self-depreciating crap tonight.  Today was a good day.  No raining on my parade," I said sternly.

He laughed.  " _Ir abelas_.  I will try to refrain."

I pulled him over until he was by my side once more, wrapping his arm firmly around my side.  "Tell me a story," I demanded.  "A happy story."

"As you wish," he replied, lightly brushing his lips against my temple.  "Once, in my travels in the Fade, I saw a young Qunari, working in a kitchen, baking bread as she was ordered every morning..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming next chapter...major relationship development! I would have put it in this chapter, but it was starting to get a bit long.


	36. Wise Men Say

The next morning, we made our way to the Dalish camp.  Wisdom declared that it would not be prudent for her to be seen with our party.  "The Dalish do not care for spirits of any kind," she declared.  "I will hide myself from view and remain a short distance away."  Solas balked at the idea, but Cole promised to listen for her should she need anything.

When we arrived, Keeper Hawen greeted me warily but remained polite.  I offered our aid, and he rattled off a list of problems to be solved.  The human armies were disrupting their way of life, they desperately needed supplies, the sacred grounds of Var Bellanaris were infested with spirits, and to top it all off, his First was missing.  Most of the elves were reluctant to speak with us, but a few of them were desperate enough to seek our aid.  I promised to look for a missing brother and a golden halla, turning to leave and fulfill my promises.

As we were departing, a young man ran up to us.  "You are the one they call the Herald of Andraste.  I've heard so much about you and your Inquisition.  There is talk even among the Dalish."  His eyes were wide and full of admiration.

I smiled.  "Talk?  What do they say, exactly?"

"Well, the clans are worried about what this might mean for us.  The Dalish, that is.  No matter what they say, your Inquisition is the only thing trying to help the world.  I wish I could be a part of that," he said wistfully.

Blackwall nodded approvingly.  "Good lad.  The world doesn't change without people to change it."

The young man's head and shoulders drooped.  "It won't happen.  Keeper Hawen won't allow it.  He doesn't trust anything to do with the Chantry or Andraste."

"What's your name?" I asked gently.

"Loranil," he answered.

"Well, Loranil, I could try to convince your Keeper that we are here to help."

"You could try," he answered, unconvinced.

I gave him a wink.  "I think I will.  I'm very persuasive.  We'll see you again soon, Loranil."  With that, we continued to leave the Dalish camp.

We spent the next several days getting the Exalted Plains in order.  We found ourselves battling the undead, Venatori, wolves, and the Freemen of the Dales.  There were also several rifts to seal along the way.  It was hard work, but nothing we couldn't handle. 

Having Wisdom in our party certainly changed the dynamic a bit.  She would ride with Cole or Solas, usually silent, although she would occasionally engage in the group's conversation.  Cassandra and Blackwall were wary, but polite enough.  Sera, on the other hand, vacillated between completely ignoring Wisdom's presence and hurling rude insults in her direction.  Unlike Cole, Wisdom quickly took the hint and did her best to avoid upsetting Sera.

Fighting was a bit different, too.  Wisdom would hang back and linger with our mounts, not willing to engage in the battle.  Usually, she would be able to hide or disappear well enough that our enemies would leave her alone, but sometimes she would be spotted and we would be forced to protect her.  I gained a deeper appreciation for Cassandra's insistence that I learn how to fight and kill when I first arrived; protecting a bystander did put a bit of a strain on the group.

As we travelled, I shared with my companions _The Chronicles of Prydain._   I told my companions about Taran, the Assistant Pig-Keeper in charge of Hen Wen, the oracular pig.  I described the great adventures he had with the beautiful Princess Eilonwy, the witty Fflewddur Fflam, loyal Gurgi, noble Gwydion, and brave Doli.  I told of the Horned King, the Black Cauldron, giant mountain cats, and magical baubles.  I told of love, courage, and self-sacrifice.  My companions seemed to appreciate the stories.

By the time I finished all five books in the series, we had found the corpse of the missing brother and the golden halla, sending the information along with several supplies back to the Dalish camp via Inquisition scouts.  We had also largely cleared up the southern portion of the Plains, sealing rifts and flushing out enemies.  I decided that we would return to the camp ourselves the following day to formally recruit Loranil.

We set up camp for the evening.  Dinner was largely uneventful, full of pleasant conversation and laughter.  Solas had the first watch of the evening, while I had the night off.  He was engaged in a deep conversation with Wisdom and Cole, so I decided to give them some privacy and go to bed.  I knew he would find me in the Fade when his watch was over.

I quickly slipped into the Fade and found myself alone on a beach at sunset, the tranquil sounds of the ocean filling my ears and the smell of salt heavy in the air.  I smiled and settled down on the warm sand while I waited for Solas to join me.  I idly traced patterns in the sand, humming to myself.

Soon, I began to sing quietly:

_Wise men say only fools rush in,  
but I can't help falling in love with you._

_Shall I stay?  Would it be a sin?  
If I can't help falling in love with you?_

_Like a river flows surely to the sea,  
Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be._

_Take my hand, take my whole life too.  
For I can't help falling in love with you._

The last note seemed to linger in the Fade.  I grimly mulled the last verse over in my mind as I waited.  _He's probably literally going to take my hand when this is all over...will I lose my life as well?_   My contemplations were interrupted when Solas gently cleared his throat to signal his arrival.

I smiled as I stood to greet him, wondering if he had heard anything.  If he did, he didn't mention it as he returned my smile.  I spent the rest of the evening showing him everything I loved about the beach.  We strolled on the sand, swam in the ocean, explored tidal pools, and even built a sandcastle together.  The sunset stretched impossibly on, never quite sinking below the horizon.  I explained how I used to vacation at a beach like this with my family when I was younger, although it had never been so empty.  Solas seemed to enjoy the beautiful serenity of the ocean, and we were both reluctant to leave when morning came.

We made our way back to the Dalish camp, where we were surprised to find Keeper Hawen greeting us much more warmly than he had before.  " _Anderan atish'an_ , friends.  Thank you for your kindness and assistance.  Come!  Stay with us this night.  Share in our food and shelter."

My eyebrows rose in surprise.  It was still mid-morning, and I didn't trust my abilities to keep my companions from insulting the clan for that long.  "Oh, no, Keeper.  That isn't necessary," I began to protest.

He cut me off.  "It is necessary.  You have greatly helped us, and we are grateful.  We wish to express our gratitude.  I insist."

I hesitated.  I didn't want to insult him _now_ , after all we had done.  "Well, if you insist..." I replied, grinning.

And so, that evening my companions and I found ourselves seated before a roaring bonfire with plates of roasted meat and cups of sweet wine made from an unknown fruit in our hands.  Children scampered to and fro throughout the camp, sweethearts cuddled together, hunters bragged about their prowess, and old women gossiped loudly.  I felt myself relax as I enjoyed the friendly, intimate atmosphere.

I leaned over to Cole.  "How's Wisdom doing?" I whispered.

He smiled.  "She is watching from afar.  She is happy we have found this moment of peace, although she is worried about Solas."

I nodded.  As the evening progressed, the elves began to sing and dance and tell stories.  Cassandra, Blackwall, and Cole were fascinated, but Sera and Solas were less than impressed.  Sera grumbled something derogatory about "elfy elves and their stupid elfiness," but she stopped when I shot her a glare.  Someone pressed more food and wine into her hands, and she seemed to be slightly mollified.

Naturally, some of the stories that were told that evening were about Fen'Harel; most of them were not flattering.  I glanced occasionally at Solas out of the corner of my eye to make sure he was alright.  His face was a carefully crafted mask of boredom and aloofness.  If he was irritated or hurt by the stories, I couldn't tell.  I moved to sit next to him, gently squeezing his shoulder.  He turned to give me a small smile before letting his distant mask settle into place once more.

For my part, I nodded and clapped along with the crowd.  I soon found myself surrounded by curious elves who wanted to see the Anchor for themselves.  I happily obliged, smiling and chatting with them as my hand was inspected and poked and prodded.  To my great amusement, Blackwall's beard was also an object of curiosity, and he found himself surrounded by a gaggle of amazed children.  To his credit, he endured the curious tugs and pulls with impressive patience.

At one point in the evening, a shriveled old woman came to inspect the Anchor, introducing herself as Mari.  She asked what clan I was from, nodding approvingly when I told her I was from Clan Lavellan.  "And what does your husband think of you traipsing over half of Thedas, far from your clan?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't have a husband," I corrected her.

"No?" she said with a predatory glint in her eye.  Suddenly, she was dragging a strapping young man towards me.

"This is my grandson, Gawen.  He is the finest hunter in the clan.  Gawen, tell the Inquisitor the story of how you killed a bear all by yourself with a single shot," she commanded.

Gawen complied with a roguish wink, "I once killed a bear all by myself with a single shot."

I laughed at his joke as Mari cuffed the back of his head, scolding him for his insolence.  Gawen asked to see the Anchor for himself, and I help out my hand to comply, as I had with dozens of other elves that evening.  His fingers gently massaged my palm and he glanced up at me through seductively lowered lids with a broad, confident smile.

_Oh._ Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, I jerked my hand back as I averted my gaze, my face growing uncomfortably warm.  Before I knew what was happening, Solas' arm was wrapped possessively around my side, and he glared fiercely at Gawen.

Gawen just laughed and shrugged before turning to melt back into the crowd.  Mari scowled at Solas, who returned an impressive scowl of his own.

I rose to my feet.  "I think I feel like taking a stroll on this fine evening," I announced, eager to remove myself from the awkward situation.

Cassandra opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say a word, Solas said, "I will accompany you."  He stood and held out his arm in invitation.

I smiled as I accepted his offer.  I could feel dozens of curious eyes on our retreating backs as we quickly made our way to the edge of the camp.  Once we were away from the flickering light of the bonfire, Solas began to gently lead us towards the ancient baths we had discovered and cleaned out a few days earlier.  The evening was cool, but not unpleasantly so.  The sky was clear and full of stars, and the moons provided plenty of light to see by.

"How are you doing?" I asked.  "With the Dalish, I mean."

Solas grimaced.  "They remain ignorant about their history and unwilling to entertain the idea that they could possibly be wrong.  They are very welcoming and generous, with the food and supplies _we_ provided, of course.  I suppose it's a small miracle that they are speaking to outsiders at all, though it probably helps that they think you are a fellow Dalish.  And some of them are very bold."  He scowled darkly.

I laughed.  "Yes, I noticed.  It's almost comforting, in a way, to know that meddling, matchmaking grandmothers are a constant in every world."

Solas cracked a smile.  "Indeed.  _Ir abelas_ , I should not be so critical of the Dalish.  I did promise, after all."

I pressed closer to his side as we continued to walk.  "It's alright.  They certainly have their flaws, like every other group of people.  But I do wish we could spend more time with them.  I would love to study their culture.  We don't have very many nomadic cultures left on Earth."

By now we had reached the ancient baths, and for a moment, we simply stopped to admire the crumbling architecture and gaze at the stars.  Solas looked particularly pensive, and I could tell he was taking the time to carefully choose his words.

"What were you like before the Anchor?" he finally asked, turning to face me.  "Has it affected you?  Changed you in any way?"  My heart fluttered as I recognized the conversation.  _This could be it_ , I thought hopefully.

"Are...are you serious?" I grinned, pointing to my ears.  "Quite a bit has changed, if you ask me."

"No, that's not...has it affected your mind, your morals, your...spirit?"

I tilted my head, considering my answer.  "It's hard to say," I answered slowly.  "There are some physical changes that I assume are part of being an elf...I hear more, smell more, see more...my night vision is way better than it ever was on Earth.  I feel more balanced and coordinated.  There are other changes too, but they might not be due to the Anchor.  I'm...harder.  Less patient, more outspoken.  But that could be because I'm the Inquisitor or because I'm in a strange world.  I'm more impulsive _and_ more cautious, if that makes sense.  I've killed people, which is something I never, ever thought I'd do.  I'm bolder and...smoother.  I'm still pretty awkward, but I've gotten a lot better with my words.   I'm much more confident than I ever was on Earth, but...I do not think it's because of the Anchor."

"Ah," he said, mulling over my words.

"Why do you ask?" I said lightly, trying to hide the nervous tremors in my voice.

"You show a wisdom I have not seen since...since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade," he answered.  I did not fail to notice his near slip.  "You are not what I expected," he finished.

"You didn't expect someone from another world to be trapped in someone else's body?" I said with mock seriousness.  "Why ever not?"

He chuckled.  "Point taken.  Even so, you have shown subtlety in your actions, a wisdom that goes against everything I expected.  Most people act with so little understanding of the world.  You are not even of this world, and yet you are doing everything you can to save it."

"So...what does all this mean?" I asked, moving closer to him.  We were standing so close to each other we were almost touching.

"It means...I have not forgotten the kiss," he murmured, gently lifting my chin.  For half a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, but then he shook his head and moved to turn away.

"Oh, no you don't," I said, grabbing his elbow to keep him facing me.  "I've had just about enough of these 'almost kisses.'  Look, I love you, and you love me.  Don't bother denying it; Wisdom and Cole have confirmed it, even if I didn't already see it with my own two eyes."

"I'm not denying it," he replied.

"Then stop pushing me away," I said urgently.

He shook his head.  "It's complicated..." he started to explain.

"No, it isn't," I argued, cutting him off.  "Unless you're already married or related to me or something, which I'm pretty sure is not the case.

He smiled in spite of himself.  "I am not," he replied, amused.

"I love you, and you love me," I repeated, staring into his eyes.  "We love each other.  Everything else is just details we can work out later."

He quirked an eyebrow in amusement.  "Details?"

"Details," I said firmly.  "I know we're from two different worlds, there's something of an age difference, and I'm the freaking Inquisitor, but none of that matters.  They're just details."

He dropped his gaze.  "It would be kinder in the long run..." he murmured, partly to himself, partly to me.

"I get it," I interrupted.  "You're a dark, broody elf with a big, bad secret and a mysterious past.   _I don't care_.  Now shut up and kiss me already."

Suddenly I found myself being pushed up against a crumbling wall, the air whooshing from my lungs in a surprised grunt.  Solas' hands were on my hips, firmly anchoring me in place as he descended on me, claiming my mouth with his own.  His tongue pressed for entrance, and I gladly parted my lips to give him access.  He kissed me with a hard and hungry fervor, which I desperately tried to return as we both gave in to several weeks worth of pent up emotions.

My hands began to move of their own accord, eagerly exploring the broad expanse of his back.  His hands left my hips and began to roam over my body, grazing over my stomach, my breasts, my ass.  I vaguely wondered why we had so many clothes on, all those pesky layers getting in the way.  Even through our clothes, I could feel his erection pressing against my belly.  My lungs burned as he seemed to pull the very breath from my body.  Heat pooled in my stomach and quickly spread through the rest of my body.  My legs turned to jelly, and I was certain I would have collapsed if Solas hadn't been pinning me up against the wall with his body.

When he finally broke the kiss, we remained immobilized for a moment, panting in silence.  Our lips were swollen and our skin was flushed.  Solas leaned his forehead against mine, whispering, " _Ar lath ma, vhenan_."

I beamed and whispered back, "I love you, too."  _YES!!! Victory!  Success!_ I shouted internally.  I reached up and pulled him back for another kiss; soft and gentle and tender this time.  I twined a hand through the cord that suspended his wolf jawbone, anchoring him in place.  I reveled in the taste of him and the delightful sensation of his tongue dancing across my own.

Eventually, I released him and reluctantly pulled away.  His eyes shone with love and desire as he moved in for another kiss.  I held up a hand to stop him, briefly questioning my own sanity.

"Wait.  I'm sorry, I...I need to hear you say it," I said apologetically.

"Say what?" he asked confused.

I bit my tender lower lip nervously.  "Are we in a relationship?" I blurted anxiously.  "I mean, are we more than friends?  Whatever the Thedas equivalent of boyfriend/girlfriend is?"

He smiled and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to my lips.  "Yes," he murmured as he began to trail kisses down my neck.  I sighed with pleasure and arched my head back to give him as much access as possible.  He kissed down to my collar bone, then seemed to change his mind and switch direction.  He began to move upwards, kissing along my jaw before moving to my ear.  I gasped in surprise at the intense jolt of pleasure that went straight to my core.  _Note to self: elf ears are super sensitive and incredibly fun_.

Solas smirked at my reaction, looking far too pleased with himself before he reluctantly pulled away.

"We should return.  I'm sure your presence is missed, and I wouldn't want to undo all of our hard work to win over the Dalish by insulting them now."

I groaned in disappointment.  I knew he was right, but I desperately wanted to linger in this rare moment of privacy.  "Are you sure we can't stay here for a little longer?" I pleaded as he laced his fingers through mine and began to lead me away.

He merely smiled at me.  "Come, _vhenan_.  We shouldn't keep our friends waiting."

I felt like I was floating on the walk back, grinning idiotically from ear to ear.  In that moment, I didn't have a worry in the world.  Corypheus could have appeared right in front of me, and I wouldn't have cared.  Solas gripped my hand firmly in his own, our fingers twining together.  _He loves me!_ I thought giddily.  He didn't let go of my hand, even once we returned to the Dalish camp.

We made our way back to our companions, and I blushed happily as I watched them react to our silent declaration.  Cassandra's eyes twinkled in amusement as Sera rolled her eyes and tossed a coin to Blackwall.  "You were right," she said as he laughed and stuffed the coin in his pouch.  "They got together." 

"You were betting on my love life?" I asked, mildly amused.

"You two have been making cow eyes at each other for ages.  I just figured neither of you would make a move tonight," grumbled Sera.

Blackwall winked at me.  "Never bet against the lady getting what she wants," he smirked.

Cole was smiling broadly as we sat down together.  "Two hearts beating as one.  Lips meeting, tongues dancing, hands touching.  I am his and he is mine, and now everyone knows.  So happy, I might burst."

"Um, thanks Cole.  Maybe keep those kinds of thoughts private in the future," I mumbled, turning an even deeper shade of red while my companions laughed.

Solas smiled and pulled me in for another kiss, right in front of everyone.  There were some good natured cheers and ribald remarks from the Dalish, but Sera groaned and said, "Ugh!  Don't go parading that mushy shite in front of the rest of us!  Keep it in your pants or go find a tree to bang in or something elfy like that."

I felt Solas smile against my mouth as his eyes lit up with mischief.  He dipped me backwards and deepened the kiss.  Sera made gagging and retching noises, which caused me to dissolve into a fit of giggles, effectively ending the display.  Cassandra muttered something about propriety as I sat back up, although her heart wasn't in it and she was smiling happily at us.

By now, it was quite late.  We were led to an area where we were invited to spread our bedrolls, sleeping under the open sky for once.  Solas placed his bedroll next to mine, causing Sera to warn us to remember that there were other people around, and she didn't want to wake up to us banging our bits together, thank you very much.  Solas ignored her, pulling me close to his chest.  We fell asleep happily tangled in each other's arms, eager to meet in the Fade and continue where we had left off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue by BioWare
> 
> The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander
> 
> "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore, and George David Weiss, originally sung by Elvis Presley
> 
> So...it finally happened! Yay! I'll admit I had a really hard time writing the romantic bits. I figure there will be a few more happy, fluffy chapters for Amy and Solas before I throw a few potholes their way. :)


	37. I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> Second half of this chapter is Solas POV

The next morning, we thanked the Dalish for their hospitality, promising to keep an eye out for the missing First and send word back if we found anything.  Keeper Hawen agreed to allow Loranil to join the Inquisition, so I arranged for some scouts to escort him to Skyhold.  He also advised us on the locations of some runes in the Plains.  With that, we said our good-byes and left to reconvene with Wisdom, who had been waiting for us shortly away from camp.

She smiled serenely at me and Solas, but said nothing as she joined Cole on his hart.  We quickly made our way north, the land growing slightly damper and marshier as we rode.  The ride was uncomfortable and difficult, but I was too busy staring after Solas to notice.  I could barely believe last night had happened.  I was just wondering if I had imagined the whole thing when he turned and met my stare with a longing gaze of his own, causing us both to turn a warm shade of pink.

Sera made retching noises as she rode behind us.  "You two are disgusting," she declared, causing Blackwall to chuckle loudly.

Cole turned in his saddle with a puzzled look on his face.  "Why do you say that if you don't think it's true?" he asked, perturbed.

He opened his mouth to continue, but Wisdom laid a hand on his arm, stopping him with a shake of her head.  "What did I say about digging around in my thoughts?" growled Sera.

Cole's mouth snapped shut and he spun forward again.  Sera grumbled loudly about nosey, creepy things and stupid, mushy elves for the next several minutes.  Fortunately, the uneasy stalemate between Celene and Gaspard's forces continued to hold, and we only encountered the occasional wild animal or undead.  By early afternoon, we had made our way to Ghilan'nain's grove.

Inquisition soldiers had just finished clearing out the entrance.  Naturally, there was a nest of gurguts waiting for us just inside.  With the aid of the Inquisition soldiers, we were able to clear them out fairly quickly.

Now that the grove was accessible and clear, we decided to set up a semi-permanent camp and poke around and explore a bit.  Mist swirled around our feet while crumbling arches soared over our heads. 

"I wonder how long it's been since anyone's been here," I said out loud as we spread out to explore.  I wandered over to one of the giant halla statues, craning my neck to get a better look.  Wisdom made her way to my side, speaking low so that only I could hear her.

"I am very glad you and my friend have found some measure of happiness," she said kindly.  "Have you reconsidered my advice on being honest with him?"

I shook my head slightly and answered quietly.  "Not yet.  It's not the right time."

She nodded serenely.  "I suspected as much," she replied without judgment.  "But I am curious...what will the right time look like?"

Her question caught me slightly off guard.  "I don't really know...I mean, I will tell him someday, for sure.  Just not now.  I need more time," I finished lamely.

Wisdom gave me a wan smile.  "Then I will continue to hope that your plan works," she said, abruptly turning away.  She moved to rejoin Cole, who was smiling at two birds twittering from a nest they had built in the ruins.

I glanced over at Solas.  He had been watching my interaction with the spirit intensely, but he jerked his gaze away when my eyes met his.  I knelt down, pretending to be utterly fascinated by some of the broken jars that littered the ground while I mulled over Wisdom's question.  When would I tell Solas the truth?  He certainly wasn't being honest with me yet.

_He's going to leave you,_ whispered a treacherous voice in my heart.  _No matter what you do, it is only delaying the inevitable._ I shook my head to clear the dark thoughts from my mind.

_We love each other_ , I reminded myself firmly.  _I've already changed so much, I can change this too._ I glanced over at Solas surreptitiously.  He had stooped to the ground as well, rummaging around in a patch of weeds with a small smile on his face.  Then he stood, brushing the earth from his robes and turning towards me.  His smile broadened when our eyes met again, and I could see that he had plucked a small blue flower.  I grinned and blushed as he began to cross the grove, rising to my own feet to meet him.

Solas wrapped an arm around my waist, gently tugging me into a more secluded recess in the surrounding rocks.  He brushed a soft kiss across my temple as the mist swirled thickly around us, obscuring us from view.

I sighed happily and leaned into his chest, wrapping my arms around him in a return of his embrace.  I tugged him down until my lips could reach his, trying not to show my disappointment when he pulled back after a quick, chaste peck.

" _This is for you, my love_ ," he said tenderly as he presented the flower he had just picked.  I smiled and raised it to my nose, inhaling its sweet scent.  " _Its beauty pales in comparison to your own_ ," Solas continued.

I blushed again as I tucked the blossom behind my ear.  "Sweet talker," I grinned.  "I love it, thank you."

I moved to kiss him again, but I was thwarted when he held up a hand to halt my progress.  I frowned.  "Is everything alright?" I asked.

"Of course, _emma lath_ ," he quickly reassured me.  "I...I was merely wondering, are there any courtship rituals in your world?  Any special traditions or rituals?"

I laughed.  "Of course.  There are hundreds; each culture has their own.  Why do you ask?"

Now it was his turn to flush slightly.  "It has occurred to me that I have not been pursuing or courting you as you deserve.  It is something I would like to remedy as quickly as possible."

"And you want to know if there is anything I'm expecting you to do," I finished for him, suddenly understanding.  "Solas, that's very sweet of you, but you don't need to court me or pursue me; you've already got me."

He nodded.  "I am aware of that.  Even so...humor me, please."

"Um, okay," I muttered, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward.  "I'm not really the best person to ask about this stuff, you know.  I've only been on a handful of dates, and they never came to anything."

Solas merely waited patiently, so I continued, "I don't know...two people meet each other, decide they're interested, spend some time together getting to know one another, and then decide if they still like each other.  Levels of formality and intimacy can vary, but that's the general idea.  Honestly, I'd be fine with whatever you guys do in Thedas.  I'm not particularly attached to any Earth rituals."

Solas chuckled.  "It seems we are similar in that regard.  I am also unfamiliar with the courtship rituals of this world, although I could tell you a great deal about the practice in ancient Arlathan, from memories I have observed in the Fade," he added hastily.

I laughed.  "I look forward to hearing about them," I said, tugging him back towards me.  This time, he finally relented and allowed me to kiss him.  Soon, I found myself pinned against the rocks behind me as he began to deepen the kiss.  I felt a familiar heat coiling in my center as he firmly grasped my hips, delving into my mouth with his tongue.  My hands began to drift in lazy, exploratory circles of their own accord.

"Inquisitor?" called Cassandra.

We sprang apart, twin sheepish expressions on our faces.  I swore softly at Cassandra's rotten timing.  Solas chuckled and pressed a kiss to my cheek.  " _We will continue this later_ ," he promised as he nudged me out into the clearing.

I tried to meet Cassandra's raised eyebrow without blushing, failing miserably.  She had wanted my input for what to do with the Inquisition soldiers now that the grove was open and clear.  _Right, back to business._ Pasting a smile on my face, I declared that they would be sent to investigate what had happened to Celene's missing soldiers in the morning.  For now, I insisted that they remain with us in the grove for the night.

We began to set up the camp.  At some point, Solas managed to emerge from the mist to join us.  He was much better about keeping a neutral expression than I was, although Sera still peered at him suspiciously.  The soldiers were much more efficient about setting up camp, and soon a large fire was crackling pleasantly in the middle of the grove.  Rations were produced, and we were soon cheerfully munching around the flickering glow.

Solas sat by my side, his arm wrapping around me to draw me closer as we finished our dinner.  Several of the soldiers took notice, nudging and whispering to one another as they grinned and stared.  I figured the news would reach Skyhold before the week was out.

Soon enough, dinner was over and it was time to go to bed.  The Inquisition soldiers insisted on covering all of the watches so that our entire party could enjoy a full night's sleep.  I should have taken advantage of the rare treat, but Solas gently tugged on my arm and led me towards the shadowy edges of the grove.

We strolled in silence for several moments, our arms linked together as we made our way far from the prying eyes and curious ears of the camp.

"So...how would you have courted me in Arlathan?" I asked with a grin when we were a safe distance away.

"It was quite the elaborate procedure, actually," he replied.  "I, as the pursuing party, would have asked the head of my family to get permission from the head of your family.  If either of us had been the head of the family, a neutral third party would have been the go-between instead.  Bribery would have been expected to ensure a positive response."

I snorted.  "Oh boy...you're lucky you didn't have to ask my parents for their permission.  I can just imagine my dad's reaction."

Solas chuckled drily.  "You think he would have found me an unworthy suitor?"

I waved my hand dismissively.  "Oh no.  If I had brought you home for dinner, I'm sure he would have liked you and trusted my judgment.  No, he probably would have warned me against being with anyone who thought they needed anyone's permission but mine.  _Especially_ someone who thought his approval could be bought.  But I understand it was part of ancient elvhen culture.  Anyway, what would have happened next?"

He smiled as he continued, "If I received permission from your family, I would have made a public declaration of intent at the next formal gathering.  Any rivals for your affection would have been allowed to object and challenge me.  Once that was resolved..."

"Hold on a minute.  What if I liked one of those rivals better?" I teased. 

"You would be free to declare your preference," Solas answered evenly.

Laughing, I reassured him.  "I would choose you.  Every time, above all others," I promised.  Suddenly another thought occurred to me.  "Hang on...what if one of the rivals beat you?  Would I be stuck with them against my will?"

He shook his head.  "No, you would have been given an opportunity to reject any potential suitors.  You would not have been forced into a relationship against your will.  But the elaborate social dance would have been expected.  Many elvhen would have been gravely offended if they had no one step forward to challenge the courtship.  The vast majority of the so-called romantic rivals were insincere; part of an elaborate series of social and political machinations.  But you...for someone like you, the rivals would have been genuine.  And I would have overcome them all for you."

His eyes had grown dark as he spoke, and there was something deep and dangerous in his voice.  The moonlight and shadows sharpened his features, and for a moment I caught a glimpse of the man who had been called a god by his people.  My mouth went dry and I gulped nervously.

"Oh, come on...me?" I answered shakily, trying to dispel the weight of the moment.  "I'm the daughter of a teacher and a mechanic.  The closest I would have gotten to a shindig like that would have been serving drinks.  Who in their right mind would have fought over me?"

Solas cupped my face gently as he drew me in for a kiss.  " _Do not dismiss yourself so lightly, my heart.  Your indomitable spirit would have drawn many admirers._ "  He smiled sadly, a mere apostate once more.

"I'll take your word for it," I said, relieved.  "So what would happen next?"

"After I dispatched my rivals," he continued, "I would ask you to join me for a ceremonial dance.  If you accepted, it would mark the official beginning of the courtship.  The dance was very long and intricate, and missing a single step could signal social ruin.  Assuming we completed it correctly, the courtship would proceed with us attending all future formal events together.  I would present you with extravagant gifts, write embarrassingly sappy poetry, and cast the most intricate spells I could manage in your honor.  This could all go on for centuries before I formally asked you to marry me.  The betrothal and marriage ceremonies were even more intricate, if you can believe it."

"I guess the ancient elves _were_ immortal," I said dubiously.  "But centuries?  How could it possibly take so long to make up your mind?"

He chuckled.  "It seems that time was less of a concern for those who were immortal."

"Shocker," I laughed.  "It does sound lovely, if a bit too pompous for my tastes, but I hope you weren't planning on taking centuries," I teased.

His expression grew serious once more.  " _You deserve to be wooed for centuries_ ," he murmured, switching to elvhen.  " _You deserve so much more than I can offer.  I am not worthy of your love_ ," he concluded with a whisper, dropping his gaze.

I reached up to firmly grasp his chin, dragging his eyes back up to meet mine.  "I'll be the judge of that," I said.  "Now, no more moping.  We were having a nice, romantic evening.  I'd like to get back to that stuff, if you don't mind."

Solas laughed once again.  "Of course, _vhenan_.  _Ir abelas_."  He shook his head, grinning broadly.  "I look forward to courting you.  You never cease to amaze me."

I returned his grin.  "I'm not going to lie, I am definitely looking forward to whatever you have in mind," I replied.  "But I was wondering...since I accepted your courtship and all...can we make out now?"

" _Ma nuvenin_ ," he smirked, grasping my hips to anchor me firmly against him once more.  The next several hours were filled with exploring hands and mouths, soft kisses and gentle caresses.  I was careful to let him take the lead on how fast we were progressing, trying not to push him too far and scare him away.  Eventually, we had to stop and reluctantly make our way back to the camp so we could catch a small amount of sleep.  Thankfully, none of the soldiers keeping watch said anything as we returned.

The next morning, the Inquisition soldiers packed up and departed to construct the bridge before my companions and I had even had breakfast.  We soon found ourselves exploring the areas beyond the grove that had been previously inaccessible. 

Eventually, we came across a giant stone hand laying on the ground.  "Where did this come from?" I asked as we paused to inspect it.  "And where's the rest of the statue?"

Sera shivered.  "It feels creepy and wrong, whatever it is.  Let's keep moving."

Despite her protests, we continued to poke around a bit until we found a cave a short distance away.  We secured our mounts and began to descend into the earth.  "Oh, sure, let's go down into the mysterious cave near the creepy stone hand.  What could possibly go wrong?" groused Sera.

"I was always told to avoid the Dales.  Something about Dalish curses...not that I'm superstitious," muttered Blackwall.

"This place is very old and powerful.  We should be cautious," advised Wisdom.

I nodded as we carefully climbed down.  The rest of my companions said nothing, but I could see the grim, hard lines on Cassandra's face as we cautiously proceeded.  We reached the bottom soon enough, and Solas removed the magical barrier that was in our way.  Moving forward, we found ourselves in a dimly lit chamber with an archer surrounded by posts and globes.

"Solas, light this torch, please," I said, peering at the shadowy shapes in the dim light.

He obliged, using veilfire.  With a creaking groan, one of the posts sank a few feet.  "It's a puzzle," I declared.  "Spread out and look for more torches and anything else that might help us.  Keep an eye out for traps."

My companions complied, although Sera muttered loudly about "stupid elves and their stupid creepy caves."  After a great deal of trial and error, we managed to make the archer shoot all the globes, causing two pulsating orbs of light to swoop over our heads, leading us towards a hidden chamber.  Flushed with victory, I led my companions into the newly opened chamber.  There in the center was a sarcophagus, decorated with archers and surrounded by statues of wolves.  We grunted and pushed against the top stone until it fell away with a loud scrape.

I reached inside.  If a person had ever occupied the grave, they had crumbled into dust long ago.  All that was left was an amulet of some kind.  As I lifted it up into the ghostly flickering light, Sera snorted derisively.  "That's it?  All this work for a necklace?  Typical nutty elves..."

"Obviously, it is of some significance," said Cassandra, dubiously.  "Perhaps it is magical.  Solas?"

____________________________________

Solas had been grimly observing the entire affair.  His companions had assumed this was a burial chamber, but he had recognized it for what it really was immediately: an _uthenera_ chamber.  The location and decorations suggested a connection to Andruil or Ghilan'nain, while the level of protection indicated an elf of high rank.  For a moment, he dared to hope that they would find the chamber's occupant still intact, peacefully slumbering after all these millennia.

His hopes were dashed when the chamber proved to be empty.  When Amy lifted the amulet into the light, his jaw nearly dropped in shock.  That was one of Dirthamen's minor foci, given only to the highest members of his court.  _What was one of Dirthamen's people doing here?_

He barely heard Cassandra's request, struggling to keep his face neutral as he examined the amulet.  Dirthamen had always been paranoid about keeping all of his power in one place, choosing to divide it instead into several scattered foci.  Some had been kept on his person, some had been hidden away, and some had been entrusted to his most loyal followers.  It would appear that this amulet was one of the latter.

Solas probed the amulet with his magic.  He could feel the power thrumming within, but he was still too weak to unlock even this minor foci.  He silently cursed this broken, crippled world.  Realizing that everyone was patiently waiting for an answer, he quickly said, "It appears to greatly enhance one's mental acuity."  He tried to keep his tone as light and casual as possible; his answer was not technically a lie, as wearing the foci would make one more cunning.

"Neat," said Amy, snatching the amulet out of his hand and slinging it around her neck before he could react.  "I've been needing a new amulet since my last one broke.  Mental acuity, huh?  Can't have too much of that."

Solas opened his mouth to warn her, to tell her it wasn't safe, when Wisdom discreetly laid a hand on his arm and gave a minute shake of her head.  Amy and the others had already turned to continue exploring the rest of the cave.  Solas gave Wisdom a questioning look.

" _She does not know what it is, she will not try to unlock it_ ," Wisdom whispered.  " _She will be safe, and the foci will continue to be safe as long as she remains ignorant.  But you continue to underestimate her.  Amy is strong.  She would not be corrupted by its power_."

" _She wouldn't survive long enough to be corrupted_ ," Solas snapped quietly.  Once again, he had put her in danger.  His selfishness, his stupidity, his arrogance...

Wisdom shook her head.  " _She survived yours_ ," she countered.  " _She is strong.  She would be able to handle the truth.  She would not reject you_."

" _You don't know that_ ," Solas retorted.  " _She may not fear the Dread Wolf, but she would certainly care about the blood on my hands.  She is too pure, too good...I will not soil her with that knowledge._ "  He glanced over at Amy, watching her laugh at a joke Blackwall had made.  " _I should break it off before it goes any further,_ " he whispered.

" _That would be the worst mistake of your life, Solas.  And yes, I am saying that as your oldest friend who knows all of your mistakes.  She is the best thing that could have happened to you, and you have been good for her as well._ "  With that, Wisdom moved serenely away, leaving him to stew in his own thoughts.

It took the rest of the day to clear out the cave.  Finally, Amy declared that they had better start heading back up before night came.  When they finally emerged into the evening twilight, they quickly assembled a camp.  Amy began spinning another one of her tales.

"This one is called _I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change._   It's a bit of a glimpse into relationships and dating on Earth," she said, giving him a roguish wink.

He watched as she sang song after song, exaggerating her voice and expressions to elicit laughter from her companions, pausing occasionally to explain a term or concept.  Cole assisted when necessary, causing Solas to marvel once more at how Amy intuitively understood the nature of the spirit.  He soon found himself being swept up in her story, smiling, laughing, and even coming close to tears at the scenes she depicted.  For a moment, his doubts and fears were swept away as he listened to the foibles and joys of love, marriage, and families.  Every story she told was another piece to the puzzle, another glimpse into her world and her heart.

Solas wondered how she could manage to be so optimistic about her situation, how she could remain so bold, compassionate, and innocent in such a twisted, broken world that seemed to corrupt all that was good and beautiful.  He studied her face, her hands as they gestured wildly, her voice as she sang.  He tried to drink in every detail, tucking it away in his memory.

When she finally ended her story, Amy volunteered to take the first watch.  Solas remained by her side as the rest of the companions quickly made their way to bed.  The blossom he had given her yesterday was still tucked behind her ear, although it was starting to fade and wilt.  She carefully removed it and placed it in her lap as she began to pick the strands of her braid apart.

She produced a comb from her pack and began to pick the tangles from her long raven hair.  Wordlessly, Solas moved to sit behind her, taking the comb from her hand.  Amy raised her eyebrows, but said nothing as he began to move the comb through her hair.  She soon relaxed back against his chest, sighing contentedly as he gently removed the tangles.

He delighted in the feeling of her hair between his fingers, enjoying the scent that wafted towards him with every stroke.  Solas couldn't help but wonder what she would look like beneath him, her hair fanning out around her, or riding on top of him with it falling over them like a curtain...  He shook his head to clear the thoughts away, shifting slightly to conceal his growing erection.  _You cannot_ , he reminded himself bitterly.

"Oh, that feels nice," Amy murmured, smiling as she leaned her head back.  "Careful, or I'll ask you to do this every night."

Solas returned the smile, bending to press a gentle kiss to the top of her head.  "It would be my privilege, _vhenan_ ," he replied, allowing himself to run his fingers through her hair one last time before working it back into a simple braid.  He could not recall the last time he had been so happy, so content.  He knew he should be cautious, he knew he shouldn't get attached, that he would have to leave for her own good, that everything would come crashing down...

And then suddenly, Amy had twisted herself around to fill his arms and straddle his lap.  Her tongue was in his mouth and one hand had snaked up to caress his ear, and for the life of him, Solas couldn't remember why he shouldn't kiss her back.

So he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from BioWare  
> I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change - Joe DiPietro and Jimmy Roberts
> 
> So...it's been a couple months. Pretty much as soon as I finished the last chapter, my husband got an incredible job offer...several states away. So the last few months have been a whirlwind of packing, househunting, driving several states and two time-zones with a toddler and two large dogs, unpacking, making approximately 8,235 phone calls, and trying to figure out our new life. It has been an amazing, crazy adventure, and I've been super happy and super busy. I usually write at night when everyone else is asleep, but lately I've been collapsing into bed with absolutely no energy left.
> 
> This past week was the first time I had a minute to breathe, but it had been so long that I had to take a couple days to read the last few chapters and see exactly where I had left off. Sorry for the absence, I should be back to the previous schedule.
> 
> Also, once again, I had a ton of fun doing a Solas POV. Thanks for reading!


	38. Boldly Going

"Stay out of the water!" I shouted, firing an arrow at the magnificent dragon in front of us.

I had no desire to kill the Garmordan Stormrider, but my companions and I didn't have much of a choice.  She had come out of nowhere, catching us off guard as we harvested the heart from the snowy wyvern we had just killed for Vivienne.  We had been concentrating so hard on keeping the heart undamaged and preserved that we hadn't noticed her approach until it was too late.

Wisdom had quickly retreated with the mounts.  Sera, Solas, and I had fanned out, attacking from a distance.  This allowed us to stick to the dry patches.  Cassandra, Blackwall, and Cole had charged in to attack the dragon at close quarters; they were not so fortunate.

"Solas, focus on the warriors' barriers!" I commanded as one of my arrows bounced harmlessly off the dragon's scales.  Blackwall grunted as his shield absorbed the force of a swipe from the dragon's claw.  Cole was able to flip away from most of the attacks, but the warriors were not quite as mobile.

"Sera, do NOT throw that jar of bees!  The dragon won't even notice them, and they'll just distract our friends!" I shouted, trying to dodge the arc of lightning the dragon sent my way.

I was sweaty and exhausted; the battle with the wyvern had already drained me.  My companions did not seem to be any better off.  I fired yet another useless arrow, trying to distract the dragon and buy my companions some time.

I cursed as I slipped into a pool of toxic water, clambering back onto a dry patch as I chugged a healing potion.  My next arrow finally managed to lodge between two scales; not enough to seriously wound the dragon, but enough to cause a distraction so Cassandra could get a really good swing in.

Cole was popping in and out of view, his daggers twin blurs as they slashed at the dragon's underbelly.  Solas' head was covered with a fine sheen of sweat as he maintained everyone's barriers while throwing the occasional spirit damage at the dragon.  Sera's arrows were far more accurate than mine, regularly piercing the dragon's hide, causing her to send yet another blast of lighting towards us.

This time, I was a bit slow about dodging, and the energy grazed my side.  It stung, but my barrier absorbed most of the damage.  Wincing as I regained my footing, I noticed my barrier was being strengthened.  I didn't know much about magic, but I would have guessed it was twice as strong as before.  "Solas!" I snapped.  "Focus on Cole, Cass, and Blackwall!  I'm fine!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the stubborn set of his jaw.  A quick glance at the battlefield revealed the tell-tale shimmer of a barrier around my companions, but the one around me remained just as strong.  I dove to avoid another arc of lightning.  As I hit the ground, I saw Solas stagger from the effort of maintaining so many barriers, falling to his knees as he cast yet more spirit damage at the dragon.

At that moment, Sera finally managed to send an arrow straight into the dragon's eye.  She let out an ear-splitting shriek, flailing wildly.  Cassandra and Blackwall thrust upwards with their swords, one of them finally managing to pierce the heart.  We were all flung to the ground by the force of the dragon's death throes.

Groaning, I sat up.  "Everyone alright?" I called.

Various grunts, shouts, and groans of affirmation came from my companions, except for Solas.

"Solas?" I called, struggling to my feet, trying not to panic.  When I still didn't get an answer, I half-stumbled, half-ran to where he lay on the ground, my heart in my throat.  _Please, God, no._

He was weakly struggling to pull a healing potion from his belt, his fingers shaking and fumbling too much for him to get it loose.  I quickly grabbed the vial in question, uncorking it and holding it to his lips, lifting his head as I poured it down his throat.

"Lyrium," he rasped.  I grabbed one of the blue vials at his waist, helping him drink it down as well.  Cole appeared by our side, helping Solas to sit up as the potions took effect.  Slowly, the color returned to his cheeks and soon he was shakily able to stand.

The rest of our group had gathered around by now with various looks of concern on their faces.  I crushed Solas against me in a fierce hug, a shuddering sigh of relief escaping from my chest.  I was very aware of how close I had come to losing him.  He patted my back to reassure me.  " _It's alright, my love.  I am fine,_ " he murmured.

My relief sparked into anger.  How dare he risk his life so stupidly?  He had nearly given me a heart attack!  " _We are going to talk about this later_ ," I promised.  Solas blanched slightly at my tone.

"We should harvest what we can from the dragon," advised Cassandra.  I nodded my agreement.

"Of course.  It would be quite a waste otherwise," I said.

We gathered what we could, although it was slow going and we were all quite exhausted.  "It's a pity she had to die," I said, hacking away at one of the claws.  "Such a beautiful, wild, majestic creature."

Blackwall snorted.  "You would think that.  I'm surprised you didn't try to name her," he teased.

I smiled sadly.  "Nah.  She was never meant to be a pet.  She was meant to be wild and free.  Still, better her dead than us.  Doesn't mean I can't be a bit sad about it, though."

We continued working until we had a tidy pile of scales, claws, teeth, vials of blood, bones, and other bits and pieces.  The sun was starting to sink down, and I declared that it was time for us to set up camp.

"Preferably away from the corpse," added Blackwall.  We all agreed, moving a good distance away.

That night, I went straight to bed, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.  Solas came to meet me in the Fade.

" _Vhenan_ ," he greeted me, smiling.

"Don't ' _vhenan'_ me," I growled.  "What the hell was that?"

The smile fell from his face.  "Whatever do you mean?" he asked, his face a mask of puzzled neutrality.

"You know damn well what I mean.  Why did you put so much energy into my barrier?  If you were running out of energy, Sera and I should have been the first ones you dropped.  Cassandra, Blackwall, and Cole were the ones who needed it the most.  I was fine, and you could have died!"

Solas raised an eyebrow.  "There's no need to be melodramatic.  I was hardly about to die.  Besides, you are the Inquisitor.  Your life is the most valuable.  The rest of us are expendable."

"No, you are not, damnit!" I shouted, tears of stress and anger pricking at the back of my eyelids, threatening to spill over.  "None of you are expendable, not to me.  Especially not you."

" _Vhenan_ ," he began to protest, moving to put his arms around me.

"No, Solas!" I said, knocking his arm aside.  "How close did you come to draining your mana?"

He remained silent, his mouth set in a hard, straight line.  "Well?" I demanded, furious.

Glaring at me mutinously, he sighed and sullenly answered, "I completely depleted my reserve.  A moment longer, and I would have likely lost consciousness.  I am fortunate that Sera made her shot when she did."

His admission was a bucket of ice water dousing my anger.  I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to cry.  I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down.  "This isn't because I'm the Inquisitor; and we both know it," I said, shakily.  "This is the first real battle we've been in since we...since you and I..."

Swallowing hard, I valiantly tried to keep it together as I continued, "You can't do stuff like that.  You can't focus on me and leave the rest of the party hanging.  And you can't over-exert yourself either.  You are the only mage we have with us, and we can't afford for you to be incapacitated."  _Or dead_ , I thought, shuddering at the idea.

I lost my battle with my tears, and they came spilling out.  This time, I allowed him to wrap his arms around me.  I cried for a few moments, sobbing quietly against his chest.  When I pulled back, sniffling, I noticed that his eyes were wet too.

" _Never do that again_ ," I whispered, wiping away my snot and tears with the edge of my sleeve.  " _I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.  I love you, you big, noble idiot_."

Solas gently kissed my forehead.  " _I'm sorry.  You are right; this battle was different.  I saw you get hit, and I wanted to protect you.  I didn't think, I just reacted.  A common failing of mine, I'm afraid._ "

I gave him a watery smile.  "I guess we'll just have to figure this out one day at a time," I said.  "How about we agree not to blindly throw our lives away for each other unless there's a really, _really_ good reason, okay?"

"I accept," he said, returning my smile as he cupped my chin. 

"Good," I said.  "So...does this count as our first fight?"

He pursed his lips, looking mildly offended.  "Certainly not.  It was a debate, or perhaps a spirited discussion."

"Spirited discussion, huh?"  I smirked, pulling back slightly.  "Well, that's just too bad.  If it had been a fight, we would be making up right now.  Oh well."

Solas' hand snaked out to grab my wrist as I turned away, yanking me right back against him.  His mouth covered my own and he kissed me thoroughly, leaving me panting and breathless.  I kissed him back, just as hungrily.  A burst of daring overcame me, and I hitched a leg over his hip, using it to draw him closer to me.  He pulled away abruptly, looking slightly chagrined.

"We shouldn't engage in such activities here," he said, tucking his hands behind his back.  "We could attract unwanted attention."

I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow.  Solas elaborated, "Spirits of desire are particularly fond of," he coughed slightly, "displays of passion.  Most would simply observe passively, but there are some that would attempt to convince us to allow them to possess us."

"Ah," I said, mulling over this new information.  "So, keep it PG in the Fade.  Got it."  His brow wrinkled in confusion, but he said nothing.

"So, what stuff is okay?  I mean, we've held hands and kissed in the Fade before," I said.  "How far can we go, exactly?"

"Um, well, that...that stuff should be okay," he stammered, turning bright pink.  "But nothing more...intimate."

"Alright then."  I tried not to show my disappointment.  I was fairly sure that opportunities for more "intimate" activities would be few and far between on the road.  If we couldn't do anything in the Fade, that meant we would have to wait until we were back at Skyhold at the earliest.

"How about you show me a cool memory you found?" I said, hoping it would relieve the awkwardness and provide us with a distraction.  Solas jumped on my suggestion, and the Fade swirled around us.

The next morning, my companions and I set out for the Emerald Graves.  The journey was generally pleasant as the land grew greener and more solid.  We encountered very few hostile creatures, and even less bandits.  I grinned as I called out, "Today, I'm going to start telling you the tales of the crew of the _USS Enterprise_ , and all the adventures they had.  It begins like this: 'Space: the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.  Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilization, to boldly go where no man has gone before.'"

Sera started cackling as I hummed a bit of the theme song.  I cherry picked some of my favorite episodes, working my way through the original series before moving onto The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and even a little of Enterprise.  I also told them the basic plot of a few of the movies, taking a few moments to briefly describe the Voyager probes that had been launched in reality.

My companions seemed to enjoy the united, pioneering spirit of the show, requesting more stories featuring their favorite characters.  Cassandra was particularly fond of Captain Janeway while Blackwall favored Commander Riker.  Sera liked any story where there was a good amount of mischief and mayhem, while Solas enjoyed the Vulcan characters.  Wisdom claimed she appreciated Guinan.  Cole was particularly fascinated by Data and his attempts to become "more human," begging me to elaborate on his efforts to understand humor and art, which I happily obliged.

And so I spent the next several days telling of Vulcans, Romulans, Klingons, Ferengi, the Q, and the Borg.  I tried to describe a Denobulan smile, the shape of a bat'leth, and the importance of the Prime Directive.  I talked about tribbles, transporters, warp drives, and Corbomite maneuvers.  I waxed on about tricorders, phasers, holodecks, and hailing frequencies.  My companions were fascinated by the descriptions of technology and mildly impressed by the only phrase of Klingon that I knew:  _bortaS bIr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay'_

Once, Sera huffed that we sure could use some transporters right now, instead of traipsing all over the countryside.  I agreed with her, silently thinking about the eluvians and how they would save us all so much time.

Finally, after several days of travel, we found ourselves on the edges of the Emerald Graves.  As we gathered around the campfire that night, Solas remarked that while he had enjoyed the stories as a whole, he found the "contrived situations and one-dimensional alien cultures a bit lacking."

"Hey, now!" I teased.  "You owe a lot to _Star Trek_.  I'm pretty sure it conditioned me to find bald men and pointy ears attractive."

The tips of Solas' ears turned pink as the rest of my companions laughed, but he grinned and said, "In that case, I withdraw my criticism.  Truly, the idea of so many different cultures and people working and living together in peace is something wonderful.  I can see why the story appeals to you so much, _vhenan_."  Sera blew a raspberry in our direction.

"Well, to be completely honest, I was always drawn to the idea of 'boldly going where no man had gone before,' exploring and discovering new worlds.  I just never thought I'd actually get to do it," I laughed.  "Funny how things work out."

We spent a few more moments happily chatting around the fire.  As I looked around at the smiling, relaxed faces of my friends, I felt a wave of warmth and happiness sweep over me.  I leaned my head on Solas' shoulder, basking in the sense of peace and contentment.  Tomorrow, we would begin tackling the Emerald Graves in earnest, dealing with whatever came our way.  But for now, I would treasure this moment, tucking it away in my heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Trek and all characters created by Gene Roddenberry or based on his work
> 
> So the first fight happened. And Star Trek, which is one of my favorite things ever. :)


End file.
